Last August, my wife and I decided to use the Amusement Park tickets a client had given me to take our kids for an end of the summer trip. Since there is a fair amount of driving involved, I brought the van in for an oil change and a fluid check. When I came back to pick up the van, the mechanic advised that the front brake pads were alright for now but would need replacement shortly. So, what else is new, you bring in the car for wiper blades and they tell you that you need a new transmission!
A few weeks later, I noticed that my right front tire was low and when I pulled into the gas station to put some air in, I noticed a nail in the tire. I added the air and figured I would take care of the tire the next day. The next morning the tire was fine as the head of the nail, which is much wider than the point, seemed to have sealed off the hole. As such, I figured I’d let my luck ride (pun intended) and leave the tire for the time being (don’t try this at home!).
Motzei shabbos, a few weeks later, we were involved in a post-Hurricane Katrina clothing and home furnishing drive for members of the displaced New Orleans Jewish community. Our home was the drop off point for the neighborhood and we, baruch hashem, had an entire basement full of clothing, housewares, judaica, school supplies, toys, games, hats, furniture, bicycles, etc. A number of volunteers were busy boxing and labeling the items when they ran out of Sharpies and packing tape. I decided to let my wife drive us to the store since she was still practicing for her long awaited road test. She did great. The only problem was that when she pulled into the parking spot at the store, we heard that slow hissssssssss of trapped air rushing to freedom. I artfully readjusted the van so that the part of the tire with the nail in it was flush to the ground hoping that the weight of the van would push the head of the nail tightly against the hole. It seemed to have worked well enough to get us home.
We stayed up to the wee hours of the morning packing boxes and I tried to squeeze in some time to prepare for my very first day as a college lecturer. The next morning, the truck and movers arrived and my wife went for her driving lesson. I brought the car to the service station a few blocks away to change the tire. I was in a rush to get back home to help finish the packing and my lesson preparation. Against my nature (the procrastinator of the century), I said to the mechanic “You know what, you already have one tire off, change the front brakes.â€
The truck eventually left for Memphis, my class seemed to have gone over alright and life, basically, seemed to be getting pretty much back to normal. A few days later I was driving at approximately 35 mph down a large two way street when I noticed a middle aged lady, casually walking across the street pretty much midway between the two corners. She was walking too slow and the van traveling too fast, something had to change. I jammed on the brakes and the horn simultaneously and she started to pick up her pace but it didn’t look good. Everything was happening in slow motion and I could almost picture her being carted away in an ambulance. Thank G-d, the van stopped… so close to her that it might have actually touched her clothing. Now I am normally a pretty mellow guy but my heart and blood were racing, sweat was pouring from my brow and my hands were trembling. I yelled, nearly unperceivably, at the lady “WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY??!!†She, standing on the median, simply looked at me in her own shock realizing that she had almost just left this world.
By the time I came home, I was so exhausted that I crashed onto the couch and slept through the normal early evening, homework-time cacophony. Afterwards, I thought about what had happened and I realized that if some careless construction worker hadn’t dropped his nail, I never would have changed the brakes that morning and the van probably would not have stopped in time to save that lady’s life.
Things happen for a reason. They are meant to test us and to teach us. What seems like an inconvenience and an expense, a nail in your tire, may have the greatest importance. It may just save a life. And little decisions are not little, they are often tremendous. The decision to change the brakes now or to put off the expense for later may keep someone’s mother, sister, daughter, grandmother in this world. Breaking a bad habit, procrastination, or at least trying, affects your life and the life of others.
Little things mean a lot. A nail, a budgeting decision, a small attempt to change a character trait. These things change the world and more often than not we don’t even realize it.
I once read a story of a boy who started collecting pennies on a bet from his brother. That boy collected almost $15,000.00 worth of pennies (and he won the bet!). What is the point? Small change adds up. And that’s exactly what G-d wants from us this time of year, small change. Five minutes extra learning a day or even three minutes. A half an hour without speaking lashon hara. A weekly phone call to a friend or relative who needs a lift. Do something small and the results will be large. Small change adds up, so pick something small to work on and “nail it”!
We were driving yesterday here in Indy and came to a “T” intersection with a stop sign (for us), where we could turn left or right. As I prepared to turn left, I saw a car coming from the left with its right turn signal on. In principle, considering that no car was nearby coming from the right, I should have turned left then. But I sensed that the driver from the left was not actually going to turn, so I held up. Sure enough, he blasted through the intersection without turning. I would have become a statistic, G-d forbid, if I had taken his turn signaling at face value.
So how did I get the thought not to turn? I don’t honestly know. Maybe the driver wasn’t slowing down as expected. Regardless, I owe HaShem a big thank you.
MJ,
Thanks for pointing out the safety issue. While I dont think that I was driving recklessly, perhaps I could have been more cautious.
Zach,
While you have a point, please keep in mind that it often makes sense to live where you are. That is to say, when something happens in your life and you have a fairly immediate reaction, it is sometimes good to go with it, especially if it offers you a growth perspective. I also think that when something on such a grand scale happens ( a near tragedy) it is worthwhile to analyze it from a healthy, non-obsessive standpoint.
Stories like the one that happened to me generally evoke three different types of responses:
1. The one you expressed;
2. The one M expressed (inspiring); and
3. Yawn.
Each of us are individuals and what moves one does nothing for another. That’s part of what makes life interesting, no?
Taking your point about what if I never had the nail, never went to the service station, etc. Of course that would have all been hashgacha as well. But…. That’s not what happened and I think it what be fruitless to try to analyze what didn’t happen. (But see below in my last para) We could debate the theological/philosophical (not to mention baseball) theory of the pre-determined outcome endlessly. Yet, we still wouldn’t be talking about what actually happened.
Your comment about things not happening reminded me of a shiur I heard from Rabbi Noach Isaac Oelbaum. R. Oelbaum stated that we tend to focus on things that happen which are out of the ordinary and we take for granted all of the ordinary things that happen on a daily basis. R. Oelbaum actually used a near car accident as an example stating that when we have a close call driving, we are quick to thank Hashem for saving us from the accident (and we should be quick to do so). But when we drive home from work, the store or anywhere else and everything goes smoothly, we aren’t so quick to thank Hashem even though had we or another driver gone a fraction of a second faster or had we taken a different route, we very well might have been in a perilous situation. Your comment reminded me of that insight so thanks for that!
If you never had the nail, you wouldn’t have gone to the service station, you would have travelled to different places at different times, your braking might caused you to arrive at other destinations a little slower, and – in short – you might never have met up with the old lady.
And what if you DID hit the woman? Wouldn’t that have been just as “choreographed” by Hashem? (Shades of R. Noach’s Weinberg’s guy on a bicycle story!)
Frankly I don’t find these stories (and they abound in the frum world) inspirational, I find them quite silly. Although your message isn’t…
OK, I have a major problem here. YOU were driving, and God has given you the ability to do so safely or not. Now from your story it does not seem that this old lady darted out from nowhere in front of your car. At 35 mph, including reaction time, it should take no more than 100 ft to stop. When driving, you should be scanning ahead at least 200 ft.
Now, I have gotten into 3 accidents in my life, and every time that I contributed it was either a lack of judgement or attention. Now, thankfully no one was ever injured, but the message I take home is not God, thanks for keeping an eye on me – I’m sure He was. It’s MJ, drive slower, be more alert, use caution, remember that whenever you are behind the wheel you take your life and the lives of others into your hands.
It’s not that I don’t like inspirational stories, but the message should be drive safely and keep your vehicle in excellent condition. And that’s a message I see too frequently ignored around Brooklyn, and Monsey, and other frum communities I often visit.
Safe driving is literally an issue of “lo tassim damim b’veitecha” and I urge my fellow Jews to see it in that serious a light.
Thank you. This was very meaningful and real.