If you were giving advice to someone who knows very little about Torah Judaism and is over 30, but seriously wants to develop their spiritual side what advice would you give them:
a) Call Partners in Torah for a one-on-one learning partner
b) Contact the nearest Aish branch
c) Find the nearest Chabad
d) Take a look at these books (name the books)
e) Learn to pray
f) Browse the web for Torah information (list any particular sites)
g) Attend classes on Judaism
h) Other (please specify)
I have a friend whose father, who is a Rabbi, was very particular not to invite someone for a shabbos meal if he thought that they would drive. He became friendly with a single Jewish man who lived a few houses away. He invited him for a Friday night meal. Friday night, they see the guy drive right up to the house, a matter of a few dozen feet from his own house. The host was, to say the least, surprised. The question was begging to be asked. Not because it was Shabbos, The host couldn’t resist. Not because it was Shabbos, the question was begging to be asked no matter what day of the week it was. So, he asked why it was that he drove the short distance. He replied that when his dog hears the front door shut he barks incessantly. But, if he hears his owner get in the car and drive away, he stops. You can’t make this stuff up.
Bob Miller-IIRC, there are Piskei Halacha from prominent Talmidei Chachamim who state that your responsibility is to offer accomodations, but not necessarily to rescind the offer of the meal if they drive , take a cab,or take public transportation. FWIW, I have read more than one such story on this blog of people who once drove and parked out of sight of their hosts’ house.
I agree with Ross because I’d want to make sure I understand what they mean by “wants to develop their spiritual side.” But most likely my next move would be Partners in Torah.
I would advise books. Two classics would be To Be A Jew, by Hayim Halevy Donin, and This Is My Gd, by Herman Wouk.
Various works of Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Rabbi Avigdor Miller and Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis are also good reads for people looking further and asking spiritual questions. Possible titles recommended might include The Aryeh Kaplan Reader (including If You Were Gd), Rejoice O Youth, and The Committed Life.
Steve,
If they’d be likely to drive on Shabbos otherwise, would you automatically offer accommodations, too?
How about inviting the person for a Shabbos meal?
Ross, good advice.
Some progressive teachers view asking questions, listening and asking more questions as a form of teaching.
In the question posed above, the person has expressed interest in developing spirituality. In many relationships of this type the contacts are somewhat limited so having the luxury of an extended listening dialog is not always an option.
In this situation, I think the implied questions are:
– What is spirituality?
– How can I make it a part of my life gradually?
– Are other forms of spirituality equivalent to Judaism’s prescription?
Don’t give any advice until you listen to them. Sit down and let them talk about how they feel and what they’re looking for in life. Ask lots of questions, and just LISTEN to them. There’s such a shortage of listeners these days. Everyone just wants to give advice. LISTEN, reflect back their feelings, and then it will narrow down the suggestions which you will eventually give.
This is advice for everyone in almost every situation.