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What Type of Support Are You Missing?

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BTs tackle the Torah life on their own and need to develop their own support systems.

Perhaps we can classify the type of support into 5 categories:

1) Teachers of fundamental and advance Torah topics
2) Rabbis who can rule on halachic questions
3) Mentors who act as surrogate parents and help with major topics like Shidduchim and Parenting
4) Friends who act as spiritual coaches and tell us to slow down and inspire us to move up
5) Spouses who are soul mates on our spiritual journey

Would you add any more categories?

Do you have all the roles filled in your life?

Which were/are most necessary for you?

Which are you missing?

What priority would you outline for a new BT?

7 comments on “What Type of Support Are You Missing?”

  1. When you have a spouse who is NOT a soul mate on your spiritual journey, you could have all the other 4 on the list and you would still have a giant gaping hole in your soul.

  2. There are various types of mentors one needs. A ffb mentor for some issues, but also a more experienced BT. For example, advice on issues arising in interaction with one’s non observant friends and relatives is better sought from another BT

  3. I wish there was a bikur cholim organization for baalei teshuvah.

    A sick baal teshuvah may not have relatives to help him and calling non-relatives is awkward.

  4. Someone to offer themselves as a contact. In whatever situation. Because it’s always “who you know” that gets you “in”, and BTs don’t have those contacts.

  5. Mentors specifically for how to “work” the yeshiva system; how to negotiate and with whom on behalf of your kids; how to respond to challenges raised by yeshiva staff…This also comes with experience but while the BT parent is getting experience a lot can happen to the kids.

  6. BTs must be invited by exemplary [or at least non-dysfunctional] Orthodox families for Shabbat and Yom Tov; some prefer the seudot only, some prefer to sleep over the entire day.

  7. I think they’re all extremely important, but to me the order is:
    Spouse, Rabbi, Friends, Mentors, Teachers

    Mentors would be potentially much higher, but mentors who are qualified and actually do act as surrogate parents are close to impossible to find.

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