That’s One Giant Step for Children, One Subtle (yet crucial) Increment for Adult-Kind

Transcribed translated and adapted for Beyond BT by Rabbi Dovid Schwartz

Rav Mordechai Gifter Z’L gave this Shmuess to open the 1969 Fall/ Winter Z’man (yeshiva Semester) for the students of the Telshe Yeshiva in Wickliffe, Ohio.

The Kozhnitzer Magid felt that he was stagnating spiritually, that he had simply stopped growing. One night the Ba’al Shem Tov appeared to him in a dream. When he complained of his disappointment over his lack of growth the Ba’al Shem Tov told him: “Your problem is that you are trying to measure the growth of Gadlus (maturity) using the yardsticks of Katnus (immaturity). When a baby is born, each developmental change is pronounced and dramatic. Going from nursing to eating solids to table food to crawling to toddling to walking to toilet training to, most striking of all, talking are all eye-catching, easily discernible stages of growth. Once a child reaches adolescence, the changes are slower and more incremental. The parent loves the child no less during those 4-6 years than during the first 5-6 years of the child’s life. But the progress is so slow that it doesn’t impress the parent or other observers nearly as much. Yet when they stop to think about it they realize that it is precisely these unspectacular changes that, slowly but surely, transform their beloved baby into an independent adult”
Read more That’s One Giant Step for Children, One Subtle (yet crucial) Increment for Adult-Kind

Learning How to Learn

A new friend who is moving to Washington DC, to attend college at George Washington University writes the following:

I’m stuck with the issue that I’ve been trying to solve for about a year and haven’t been too successful even after much effort. And I refuse to believe that I am the only one who is dealing with this problem.

Because I grew up as a reform Jew, I never learned how to learn a daf of Talmud. So essentially, I’ve been trying to “learn how to learn”, and I don’t know where to start.

But from here, Chicago, and Israel, which is where I’ve been living this past year, I didn’t know if I should just walk into a yeshiva and ask a rabbi to sit down with me and teach me how to learn from the Talmud.

Does anybody have suggestions or experience on how a new BT who is currently attending college should “learn how to learn”.

The Increasingly Small Differences Between MO and UO

Gil Student recently posted some thoughts regarding the current Modern Orthodox shift to the right which he has graciously permitted us to repost. We thought it might be of interest to our readers as his comments highlight our beliefs that at their core, the differences between Modern Orthodoxy and Charedi Orthodoxy are not that great, and we need to unite on our commonalities and not be divided by our differences.

Menachem Butler, in his now defunct AJHistory blog, recently directed readers to an exchange in the 2005 issue of Contemporary Jewry (link). Samuel Heilman wrote an article about Modern Orthodoxy shifting to the right. You know, his regular material. I’m amazed how many articles — and even a book — he can turn that same material into. His article then received responses from David Ellenson and Marc Shapiro. The former doesn’t seem to have much to say. The latter, however, does. His article can be found here (PDF). As someone living in the Modern Orthodox community and keenly observing, he presumably has a good deal of insight into it. Yet I found a lot of things in the article with which I disagreed.

1. Shapiro oddly states that Modern Orthodox students who adopt black hats and yeshivish dress do not do so in Israel but in Yeshiva University. In my experience, that is the exception (myself included) and the opposite is the general rule.

2. In the second paragraph, Shapiro defines Modern Orthodox as “people who go to college and are professionals.” My friends and neighbors from Torah Vodaas and Chaim Berlin fall within that definition of Modern Orthodox, which leads me to suspect that it is overly broad.

3. In the third paragraph, Shapiro suggests that the right-wing Orthodox adopt stringencies in order to distinguish themselves from the Modern Orthodox. Now that the Modern Orthodox are being fairly strict, the right-wing has to become even stricter. I find that suggestion to be farfetched. The right-wing generally does not even realize that the Modern Orthodox community has become more strict, as can be seen in the still prevalent usage of outdated stereotypes about the Modern Orthodox.

4. Shapiro notes that even the Modern Orthodox who have adopted the haredi style of dress are still Modern Orthodox in many of their views. I find this to be a very perceptive and accurate observation. Many of my friends think they are yeshivish but are not. They just don’t realize how deeply they have been influenced and that what they consider “normal” is just Modern Orthodox. (See this post by Joe Schick for just one of many examples.)

5. Shapiro writes: “There are now two types of modern Orthodox Jews: the old-fashioned type and the new type, which is modern in ideology but doesn’t cut corners when it comes to halachah.” I think his dichotomy is correct but that this is not a new phenomenon. In Avodah/Areivim-world, we refer to the MO and the MO-lite. The MO are the ideological Modern Orthodox and the MO-lite are members of the Modern Orthodox community who are lax in their observance. Similarly, there is the UO and the UO-lite referring to those who are Ultra Orthodox and members of that community who are lax in their observance. There have always been MO and MO-lite. It is just that recently the proportion of the MO vs. MO-lite has changed and the MO make up a larger part of the community.

6. Shapiro notes: “[T]here are no modern Orthodox works of practical halachah. This realm has been ceded to the haredim.” This is not entirely accurate (e.g. I, II), but close enough. That could change, if I have my way.

7. Shapiro then proceeds to argue that the OU and other kosher supervision agencies have overly extreme standards. I find his portrayal to be exaggerated and laced with apparent Abadi influence.

8. Shapiro’s example about the use of medicines on Passover is not a good one, because the right-wing Orthodox community is not in agreement on this. It is just that those who are strict advertise (literally) their positions while those who are lenient do not. Although even this is changing (I, II).

9. Shapiro agrees with Heilman’s statement that Haredim are the main teachers in Modern Orthodox schools. I’m not denying this, but I’ll just say that this was not at all the case in my high school.

10. Shapiro writes: “Modern Orthodoxy currently has no gadol, or authority figure. That means that halachic guidance comes from the haredim.” I found that surprising. I grew up in Teaneck and visit for Shabbos on occasion. Not only is Rav Soloveitchik regularly cited as the top halakhic authority, but R. Hershel Schachter and R. Mordechai Willig are also frequently quoted. They are certainly the authorities with whom my rabbinic friends regularly consult.

11. Shapiro states that the various Ba’al Teshuvah movements are all Haredi dominated. I just don’t know what he’s talking about. Maybe he means that a lot of the outreach professionals are Haredi. OK, maybe. But dominated? Certainly not the Ba’alei Teshuvah themselves.

Maximizing Your Spiritual Potential

By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer

The Midrash relates that a king who was a contemporary of Moses heard reports of how the Hebrew leader had faced off with Pharaoh, had won the freedom of his entire people, had worked miracles, and had revealed a lofty legal code. The king was intrigued, and decided to utilize physiognomy (a system that enables one to decipher character traits from facial features) to ascertain whether Moses’ reputation was fact or lore.

The king sent artists to the Sinai Desert to paint Moses’ portrait. After the artists returned from their long journey with the portrait in hand, the experts in physiognomy went to work analyzing Moses’ character. Their results were shocking. According to their proficient analysis, the character in the portrait was a robber, a murderer, and a deceitful person.

The king was enraged. Obviously, he inferred, the artists had painted the face of some vagabond they had encountered rather than making the long journey into the desert to find the great Moses. The artists, however, swore that they had rendered Moses and nobody else; they suggested that the fault lay with the experts in physiognomy. The king finally decided that there was only one way to settle his quandary: He would personally travel to the Sinai Desert and meet Moses.
Read more Maximizing Your Spiritual Potential

A Letter From a Yeshivat Hesder Kiryat Shemonah Talmid

Contributor and commentor, Mordechai Scher sent this letter from Yeshivat Hesder Kiryat Shemonah, where he learned and where he and his wife hope to make aliyah someday.

Evil Shall Break Forth out of the North?! (Jeremiah 1:14)
Written during the 2nd week of the war

by Yair Kraus, Shiur Daled
Yeshivat Hesder Kiryat Shemonah

When war in the North broke out last week, the Haftarah – the first chapter in Jeremiah, spoke of a warning of the war that is expected to break out in the north of Israel, with ramifications on the entire population. It is hard not to see a direct link to the fighting taking place up here.

On Wednesday, Kiryat Shemonah and, in fact, all the settlements in the north of the country awoke to a new-old reality. The morning the soldiers were abducted at the border, against a background of massive bombing by the Hizbollah with Katyushas aiming at our homes, we – the Yeshivah students – realized we were somewhere we had never been before.

Over the past week hundreds of Katyushas have landed on the settlements of the north. We thank G-d for the miracles we see with our very eyes, that there have been a minimum of casualties, yet our hearts weep when we hear of the dead and the wounded in other parts of the country. We are in the midst of a war against our enemies whose sole aim is to hurt, kill and destroy us, and it looks as if it is going to last quite a long time.
Read more A Letter From a Yeshivat Hesder Kiryat Shemonah Talmid

A Miss is a Mile – Old Tehillim Found Open to Psalm 83 (or perhaps 84)

By Chaim Grossferstant

Let me begin by making an admission. I am not a card carrying member of the “alert Hanoch Teller immediately” crowd and am somewhat skeptical of “visionaries” who sense Hashgacha Pratis everywhere. It’s not that I don’t believe that Hashgacha Pratis exists everywhere; it’s just that I think that the maintenance of our free-choice is set up in such a way that we should be mostly oblivious to Hashgacha Pratis most of the time.

But there is a recent news item that really causes a thinking Jew in these perilous times to pause and ponder. Yesterday, the New York Sun reported (page 9) that on Tuesday Irish archaeologists discovered an ancient book of psalms spotted by a construction worker while driving the shovel of his backhoe into a bog. (Parenthetically there are a number of blogs I’d like to drive the shovel of a backhoe into!) What we would call a “Tehillim”, it is a Psalter and has been approximately dated to the years 800–1000 A. C. E. Pat Wallace, director of the National Museum of Ireland described it as “really a miracle find.”

But what makes the find of particular interest to people who are Jewish but not necessarily archeologists is that the book was found open to a page describing, in Latin script, Psalm 83, in which, according to the AP, “G-d hears complaints of other nations’ attempts to wipe out the name of Israel” and that in effect, the Psalter cannot be moved from that page. Because “It could take months of study just to identify the safest way to pry open the pages without damaging or destroying them.”
Read more A Miss is a Mile – Old Tehillim Found Open to Psalm 83 (or perhaps 84)

Shopping for Jews

by Jeff Neckonoff

Last Thursday, July 20th, as I was in the midst of my weekly Shabbos shopping in the Five Towns (of Long Island), I just happened to stop into Chabad to pick up a copy of last week’s L’Chaim publication.

As I walked through the door, Shainy Blau, Chabad’s extremely efficient & smiley Office Administrator, frantically called me over. She told me that she had just e-mailed after receiving a handful of phone calls that Jews for Jesus missionaries were spotted on Central Avenue. Just five minutes before I walked into her office, Rabbi Wolowik, who was in California, had text messaged her to get in touch with me ASAP.

So off I went. I just happened to have about 25 Jews for Judaism flyers in my car from my trip to the Jones Beach Bandshell the week before, when they had a Messianic concert aimed at telling secular Jews about their god. I grabbed the flyers and called my good friend, Gavriel Sanders, to get some help dealing with this situation.

Gavriel had also received some calls and we were able to pinpoint the location of these missionaries. Meanwhile, since Gavriel was in Brooklyn, he was on the phone trying to get some more people to help.
Read more Shopping for Jews

Words to Arouse Our Hearts in This Time of Danger

At a Tehillim gathering in Kew Gardens Hills last night, Rabbi Yakov Haber from YU addressed the audience with words to arouse our hearts in this time of extreme danger for the Jewish People. You can listen to the Divrei Hisorerus here. Here is a summary of what was said.

We Must Feel That We Outside of Eretz Yisroel are at War
Rabbi Herschel Schachter points out that, according to halacha, Jews from all over can be drafted to fight a war, no matter where they live. The only reason we are not drafted is that it’s not practical. Nonetheless, we have to realize that we are all at war and subject to the draft. Even though we’re not actually fighting we have to feel the urgency that those of us outside of Eretz Yisroel are also at war. If we don’t feel that urgency, we have to do soul searching and make sure that we don’t feel separate from the Tzibur, which according to the Rambam would brand us as apikorsim. We have to truly feel that we are at war and are sharing in the battle.
Read more Words to Arouse Our Hearts in This Time of Danger

Antidote for Baseless Hatred – Part 3

Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller was kind enough to allow us to repost this article on Beyond BT during the 3 weeks. For more tapes and articles by Rebbetzin Heller please visit her site. To listen or download her mp3s please visit the Aish Audio site. This is the third and final part of this series.

Overcoming Hatred

So now Rambam, the great halachist, presents us with the following issue: What about people whom we don’t like for good reason?

Remember what I said in the beginning: Nobody gets up in the morning and announces: “It’s a great day today—I think I’ll hate people. I’ll put a little butter on the stairs; I’ll turn the TV volume all the way up and leave the house…” When we hear that the Sages said senseless hatred is a terrible sin, we say, “Oh, yes, it’s really terrible. I don’t hate any people senselessly—but apes, like my upstairs neighbors…”

I wouldn’t blame the people who live beneath us for hating us. They’re lovely. They’re immaculate. They mind their own business. They didn’t deserve what happened to them. When we bought the apartment above them, all of my numerous children still lived at home, plus my mother lived with us, so we’re talking about an awful lot of people in one apartment. They didn’t know this. One day, before we moved in, the wife saw my husband and me coming down from the apartment. She smiled and said, “I hope you’re quiet people.” I thought: She’s going to find out the truth soon enough; let her sleep tonight. So I just smiled back. Then moving day came. She sees one kid, and another, and another, and another—a whole procession—and then my mother…

Anyway, Rambam talks about hatred, so we have to define what hatred is. Love, in Jewish terms, is bonding. Hatred, then, is detachment and separation.
Read more Antidote for Baseless Hatred – Part 3

Cherishing the Shards: A 17th of Tamuz Meditation

By Rabbi Dovid Schwartz

Imagine this heartrending scene: You come to visit a frail old man, he is your father, grandfather or uncle. His mind is so addled and ravaged by Alzheimer’s that he doesn’t recognize his visitors, sadder still; the disease has so deleted or distorted his memory that he doesn’t “recognize” himself. For those who knew him as he once was his current desecrated state unleashes a torrent of clashing emotions ranging from pity, to contempt to revulsion to anxiety (this could happen to me!) to (shudder) thoughts that, if directed towards healthy members of our society, would be considered homicidal and criminal (Is he even himself anymore? Is he still a human being? What a lousy quality of life. Why doesn’t someone just put the poor old geezer out of his [our] misery?) Some of us have actually lived through scenes like this and don’t need to imagine it.

Now let’s modify the scene. Imagine if we could project a 3D hologram of the same person in the full flush and dynamism of his youth with his arm around the shoulder of, or, better yet, superimposed upon the entire body of, the ruined shell of a human being before us. Imagine further that these two images permanently fused so that we couldn’t look at the old man without concurrently seeing his younger clone. How might that change our attitude and emotional reaction? I believe it would cause a drastic change in the entire gamut of our auto-emotional responses. All euthanasia-cal designs would immediately cease. In spite of the wretched reality that meets our eyes we would begin relating to the patient with a dignity, respect and humanity more closely approximating what we used to accord to the man he once was than the Alzheimer’s patient he is today.
Read more Cherishing the Shards: A 17th of Tamuz Meditation

Peer Counseling – Helping Others Grow

By Shoshana Siegelman

Before I discovered the world of Torah, personal growth was my religion. The self-help and peer counseling movements provided me with daily practices, support communities, a body of literature to study, and ways of thinking that I found at least partially satisfying.

When, through HaShem’s incredible kindness, I became exposed to Torah thought and living, my thoughtful guides and mentors helped me bridge the gap by ”translating” Torah into the language I understood: personal growth. (For example, I maintained that “Moshiach” was a gentile concept, and one that I couldn’t get comfortable with. My mentor asked, Don’t you dream of a time when people will be whole, and good, and not give in to their distresses? I replied, Yes, that’s my dream, my life-work! To which he replied, That’s Moshiach. And suddenly a tenet of faith became mine.) I spent a year reading, listening to tapes, taking classes, experiencing Shabbos and Yom Tov, and re-creating my life from scratch. I had to re-think everything I had once believed. So much non-Jewish thought had been part of my worldview. I needed to sort through what was true and useful and appropriate, and what was not. Having heard that one of the reasons some Jews are raised far from Torah is so that they can go out in the world and gather in what is useful to bring back, I decided I wanted to take what I had that was useful, to clean it up hashkofically, and to make it available in the frum community.
Read more Peer Counseling – Helping Others Grow

Watering Down Torah – Glossing Over Issues

By Chana

I was reading the section of last week’s Hamodia on Rav Steinman and the Gerrer Rebbe’s trip to the US, Canada, & South America. One of the many interesting responses R. Steinman made to shailas was concerning whether it is OK to distort or water down Torah for the benefit of non-religious Jews (kiruv). His response was firmly NO. He said we should not change Torah in any way when we represent it to non-religious Jews, and if that means they become disinterested, so be it; maybe they will become interested later.

I understand this as I think it is morally correct to represent Torah honestly, it is not Kavodik to do otherwise. Also, it is misleading and many baalei teshuva have complained about this. I know of a few schools that tried this approach, (stressing mainly the fun that a frum person can have) and later abandoned it.
Read more Watering Down Torah – Glossing Over Issues

No Atheist in a Foxhole?

By Yaakov Grant

Come on, how often do we hear this well known maxim? Sounds good, but it struck me recently that this may be a dangerous idea for a BT to toy with. I mean that well known mindset that often takes over a BT usually soon after he first rediscovers his precious roots, which is something like “now I’m convinced let’s start on my pals/ family”.

However this is not the minefield I wish to go down as I’m sure any experienced BT has learnt this lesson to some extent. What seems to me to be a subtler issue which can land us in a similar mess is where someone close to us, but not yet observant, needs a yeshua. In such circumstances, the yetzer may try to convince us to use the “No atheist” idea and even come up with a suggestion that if our friend takes on to do something or refrain from doing something this may help give him the yeshua he needs. And if we’ve seen or heard Rav Amnon Yitzchak in action giving brachas out to the incredible sound of the thousands in the crowd shout “amen”, the Yetzer may have a field day trying to get us to copy him.
Read more No Atheist in a Foxhole?

What Am I Missing?

By Chaya

I recently received a mass email from an old (non-Jewish) friend announcing that she is leaving town to start graduate school at a prestigious university. The message, an invitation to a good-bye party was filled with inside jokes and language specific to the young hipster enclave where she has lived for the past couple of years. I felt a pang of loss and resentment.

I am 25 years old. I became religious at 18, met my husband a year later, and married him four years ago. My entire adult life has been defined by mitzvah observance.

I am grateful. I have single BT friends in their forties. I know how much easier it is to make it in the frum world, and indeed the world in general when you have someone to love and support and to support you.
Read more What Am I Missing?

Judging Fast Daveners Favorably

By Todd Greenwald

I would like to share this D-Day story.

Growing up my family davened at an orthodox shul, although we were more traditional. Every Motzae Yom Kippur, the shul asked the same person to daven maariv. Why? Because he was fast!! Back then it was great. After I became frum it bothered me greatly. We should be davening that first maariv after Yom Kippur slowly with much concentration. One Yom Kippur I remarked to my father how it bothered me. He related the following story about this gentleman:

“It was D-Day and this gentleman was off the boat and in the water approaching the beach. People from his platoon were being killed all around him. As he was moving to shore he prayed to Hashem and said, G-d if you get me out of here alive, I will go to shul every day for the rest of my life. My father told me that the man was true to his word and attends shul everyday.”
Read more Judging Fast Daveners Favorably

Blood of Milah: Why are You Waiting?

By David Geltzer

I am forty-one but I am like a fifteen year-old. I had my tipas dom bris (the blood drop of a bris) after becoming frum and learning in yeshiva for five years. No one told me to do it but when I read that a bris milah impinges on one’s ability to learn Torah I made my decision. I got my milah Erev Shavuos by a respected mohel and that year I was admitted to a Yeshiva Gedolah that same year. My parents had a reconstructionist (I didn’t know they existed in the sixties) perform my bris.

For several years when I brought up this topic it was always dismissed. I eventually took Hillel’s words to heart, “If your not for yourself who will be for you and if not now when” This is one of the two positive commandments that when unfulfilled gets kores (spiritual excommunication), so why risk transgressing this commandment – it is not expensive, it doesn’t hurt and they don’t do metzitza b’peh! I don’t recommend doing it yourself, as I was originally told to do, as there are halachos how to do it. As one could imagine, I was discouraged from sharing what I did with others but I remember now Hillel’s other statement, “If I am only for myself who am I.”

Note: Our Rabbinic advisors advise that people should consult an Orthodox Rabbi to determine what, if any, action to take in this regard.

Understanding the Essence of Chabad Outreach

This essay was originally published as Why can’t Chabad be more like “Mainstream Orthodoxy”? I found it fascinating and the author was gracious enough to allow us to publish here on Beyond BT.

Why can’t Chabad be more like “Mainstream Orthodoxy”?
Yechezkal-Shimon Gutfreund

There are people who, when they encounter Chabad, are troubled by the distinctiveness and differences between how Chabad operates and how other “mainstream orthodox” groups operate. Why do Chabadniks have to be so different from everyone else? Do they think they are better than everyone else? Are they just “perverse” and choosing to be different merely for the sake of appearing distinctive?

I have tried to answer this question on various occasions, and what I have learned from the experience is that sometimes it is better not to try to answer the question directly. No matter how good your material is, if you try to answer a confrontational question, you always looks like an apologist. Each answer proposed only arouses the natural skepticism of the listener. They think that you are trying to excuse and cover up what truly is a problem. In effect, one has already given their question some validity by acknowledging it and trying to answer it.

So let me try something different. I am just going to tell some stories and observations, and I will trust that you, gentle reader, are intelligent, mature, and enough of a truth seeker that you will discover, absorb, and draw conclusions that you yourself will feel have the correct balance of truth.
Read more Understanding the Essence of Chabad Outreach

In the Face of Approaching Disaster

As many of us know PM Olmert has publicly stated that he is ready to divide Jerusalem as well as expel up to 70,000 Jews from their homes. To show support for Israel and to protest PM Olmert’s intended actions there will be a rally on Tuesday May 23rd, 12:00 Noon in Washington D.C. Taft Park at The Capitol Building. If you want to go on a bus from the NY, NJ, CT area, please contact Rafael V. Rabinovich, Cell phone (718) 514-4328, e-mail: rafvrab@att.net, rafvrab@gmail.com. For Information and Coordination Across the United States: Jonathan Silverman, (718) 304- 3193, e-mail: jonsilverman2002@yahoo.com.

Somebody sent us an email alerting us to the OU’s take on the rally. You can read the OU statement here.

Please read Rabbi Brody’s recent Open Letter to Hashem about this matter.

We want to thank Max Stessel of Chicago for writing the following piece with the goal of trying to sensitize us to the potential horrific situation facing our brethen in Eretz Yisroel.

Max Stesel
Chicago, IL

The Medrash tells us that when, as a young prince, Moshe Rabeinu went out of Pharaoh’s palace for the first time and saw Jewish slaves toiling for Egyptians, his first act was to join them in their back breaking task, to participate in their pain and partake in the suffering of slavery. This was done despite the fact that being a prince and a Levi, slavery was not a part of Moshe Rabeinu’s experience. He further could have argued that had the other tribes stood their ground when Pharoh invited them to volunteer for the sake of the state, as Levis did, they would not be subjected to cruel slavery. All reasons and differences aside, Moshe Rabeinu saw that it was his brothers who were suffering and he had to join them and participate with them.

Almost a year ago, possibly the greatest humanitarian disaster in recent decades struck world Jewry. More than 10,000 Jews were forcibly removed from Gaza. We might debate the diplomatic, security, ideological and other justifications and condemnations of that event. But one thing is undisputable, this was a humanitarian disaster. Destruction of communities, dreams, removal from spacious homes into crowded hotels and refugee camps, loss of personal property, transition from meaningful jobs to reliance on charity, complete uncertainty about future, strained family relations, depression. Today, most of these Jews still lack permanent housing and adequate employment. We saw it on the internet, read about it in newspapers, heard about it on the radio and what was our reaction? How did we respond to this momentous event?
Read more In the Face of Approaching Disaster

Rav Kook’s Vision of T’shuva and The Ease of BT Integration

Rabbi Mordechai Y. Scher

I begin this post with a clear modaah/disclaimer: this is *not* a finished product. I know that I have not carefully thought this through. I know that a talmid chacham (that’s not me, so I’m exempt? I can’t say that, at the risk of demeaning my revered teachers) doesn’t put out something unfinished/lo m’tukan. Yet…

There have been quite a few posts over time that return to the topic of ‘how long will I be a BT?’, or ‘when do I become integrated into general frum society?’, or the like. I have found it largely difficult to relate to these posts; and I (think) I realize now that different circles really do have different social dynamics, even among observant Jews. I know I’ve gotten older, my mind a bit feeble; but I just don’t remember I or any of me chevra being concerned about such things. I don’t recall opportunities to be accepted (shidduchim, a place in a particular yeshiva/beit midrash, invitations, etc.) being limited or circumscribed.

It seems to me that some of this has to do with what are considered seminal influences in those circles, and what are perceived as ‘end-points’ in those circles.
Read more Rav Kook’s Vision of T’shuva and The Ease of BT Integration

A Part of Me Does, A Part of Me Doesn’t – Living with Conflict and Tension

By: Rabbi Shmuel Simenowitz

Intro – I had intended to write and submit this piece back in February when we read parashas Yisro but you know how it goes. Projects, the kids, community needs, parnassah. The list goes on. I even got a second wind during Pesach when we bentsched Tal – the prayer for dew. Precipitation, yes, but still no piece.

How fitting is it that I finally sit down to write then on the eve of Pesach Sheni – the time when those who were otherwise unable to bring the korbon pesach in Nisan were allowed to do so. In chassidic thought Pesach Sheni is the ultimate ba’al t’shuva celebration – a day which stands for the proposition that there’s always a second chance. – SHS

When my daughter Tova was little, when we would ask her how she felt about going somewhere or doing something about which she felt conflicted, she would respond “a part of me does, a part of me doesn’t”. As she got older we would seek greater clarification (not to mention grabbing a quick teaching opportunity) as in “Well if the parts voted, which set of parts would win?” and then again “what percentage of part A does and what percentage of part B doesn’t?” It challenged her to ascribe values to each conflicting emotion, to prioritize but most importantly, to move forward.
Read more A Part of Me Does, A Part of Me Doesn’t – Living with Conflict and Tension