Home › View all posts by Mark Frankel › Page 8

Author: Mark Frankel

60 Second Guide to Passover

Posted on by

The Events of the Exodus
The process of the Exodus began when our forefather Abraham was told by G-d that his descendents would be enslaved in Egypt and subsequently freed. It was two generations later when Jacob, the son of Isaac and the grandson of Abraham, and his family settled in Egypt as the honored guests of the Pharaoh at that time.

The process continued through: the subsequent Jewish enslavement by the Egyptians; the ten nature-defying plagues prophesied by Moshe and activated by G-d over a period of twelve months; the subsequent release of the approximately three million Jews to freedom after the plague of the death of the first born; the splitting of the Red Sea seven days after their release; and the receiving of the Torah at Mount Sinai seven weeks after their release.

Our Focus on the Exodus
The centrality of the Exodus in Judaism is predicated on the fact that the Jewish people were freed and separated as a unique nation through the clear actions of G-d Himself. In addition to the physical freedom achieved, G-d chose us to be the world’s spiritual leaders by giving us the mitzvos of the Torah at Mount Sinai The mitzvos free us from a purely animal-like physical existence, to one in which we can elevate all our actions to be spiritual and G-d connected. Passover is a time where we commemorate the Exodus and renew our spiritual focus.

The Seder
The Seder, with its primary mitzvah of the telling of the story, enables us to experientially reconnect with the slavery and freedom of the Exodus and express our appreciation to G-d for our redemption and selection as His chosen people. The salt water, into which the green vegetable is dipped, and the bitter herbs are associated with our bondage. The four cups of wine and the festival meal help us relive our freedom.

The Holiday of Matzah
Matzah is a prime component of both the Seder and the eight days of Passover. Consisting of just flour and water, matzah was our no-frills food when we were slaves in Egypt. It is also a symbol of our freedom because we hastily left Egypt without enough time to bake bread.

From a spiritual perspective, the leaven enhances breads physical aspects by adding flavor and digestibility to its life sustaining core. As such, bread is appropriate for the rest of the year when our main challenge is to integrate the physical into the spiritual. On Passover, however, we eat only matzah and abstain from the physically oriented leavened bread. A matzah diet allows us to keep spiritually oriented as we refocus on our mission of spiritual leadership of the world.

Orthodox Jews – Praised by Columnist – Dissed by Readers

Posted on by — 22 Comments ↓

David Brooks had a very positive article about Orthodox Jews in Thursdays’s NY Times called “The Orthodox Surge”. He even found a number of ways to praise the Orthodox consumerism prevalent at Pomegranate, the upscale Kosher Supermarket in Flatbush.

Brooks points out that Orthodox Jews seem destined to become the majority NY denomination in the not too distant future:

Nationwide, only 21 percent of non-Orthodox Jews between the ages of 18 and 29 are married. But an astounding 71 percent of Orthodox Jews are married at that age. And they are having four and five kids per couple. In the New York City area, for example, wile Orthodox Jes make up 32 percent of the overall Jewish population, they make up 61 percent of Jewish children. Because the Orthodox are so fertile, in a few years, they will be the dominant group in New York Jewry.

In the section of the article where Brooks supported his praise of the Orthodox, he nicely described what Torah observance accomplishes:

The laws, in this view, make for a decent society. They give structure to everyday life. They infuse everyday acts with spiritual significance. They build community. They regulate desires. They moderate religious zeal, making religion an everyday practical reality.

It was a very positive article, but the comments were overwhelmingly negative in dismissing Orthodoxy. The criticisms included women’s rights issue, the need for conformity in the community, the classification of Orthodoxy as fundamentalist and many of the other classic issues people have with Torah Observance.

Perhaps critical people are much more likely to comment, and the hundreds of thousands of people who sympathized with the articles thrust on a whole, disagreed with the 446 mostly negative comments. Or perhaps there’s still a lot of education needed to show people the depth, meaning and beauty of Judaism.

The Difficulty of Paskening for BTs

Posted on by — 8 Comments ↓

I talked to Rabbi Welcher about the difficulty of paskening for BTs.

In a nutshell, at the beginning, the basic psak strategy for a BT just starting out is to be lenient. But as the BT grows in their knowledge and observance, they move towards the normative halacha, and then as they continue to grow, they might well be machmir in situations that a yeshiva student, Kollel member or Rabbi/Rebbi would be machmir.

But the issue is dependent on the exact halachic area. If there is no difficulty in the BT following the normative halacha, it might be appropriate to follow normative halacha, and not be lenient, even in the beginning.

A second difficulty is how to assess exactly when and if the BT crosses various thresholds and grows in their Torah observance.

A third difficulty is that because of non religious family situations, BTs have a lot of complex shailos with many factors to consider.

Rabbi Welcher related that he once said to Rabbi Moshe Halberstam z”tl (niftar in 2006) that his only complaint as a posek was that he would like to trade the difficult questions that Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzinski z”tl (niftar in 1940 and one of the major poskim of the last 100 years) answered with the Baalei Teshuva shailos that have to be dealt with today. (The number of Baalei Teshuva grew massively after 1967). Rabbi Halberstam smiled knowingly.

So Baalei Teshuva can take solace in the fact that our shailos are among the most difficult. The flipside is that BT Rebbeim really need to know their halachic stuff.

The Three Stages of Judaism for BTs and FFBs

Posted on by — 21 Comments ↓

A Baal Teshuva is usually introduced to authentic Judaism by learning Torah. Different people are exposed to different topics, but the first stage is usually Torah with little or no mitzvah observance.

After some time learning Torah, the observance of mitzvos begins. The time frame can vary greatly dependending on the person and the environment. The first mitzvos are usually between man and G-d like Shabbos, Kashrus and Davening.

After a period of learning and mitzvos the BT approaches integration into the community which is mainly focused on mitzvos between man and man.

The FFB goes through roughly the same phases. Early childhood and schooling is focused on learning Torah. As the child reaches chinuch they focus on mitzvos between man and G-d like Shabbos and davening. As the FFB breaks into the teen years and becomes a young adult they integrate into their Yeshiva and community involving mitzvos beteen man and man.

In a broad sense, these three stages mirror the three foundations of the world, Torah (learning), Avodah (man and G-d) and Gemilas Chasadim (man and man). When spritual maturity is reached, all three are in focus but in the early stages they proceed from Torah to Avodah to Gemilas Chasadim.

The BT however advances through these stages at a much faster pace then the FFB and often does not get enough exposure in the Torah phase. BTs who are more exposed and conversant in Torah have a much easier time in the community integration phase between man and man.

Affirming the BT Growth Mission

Posted on by — 2 Comments ↓

I was at a Torah Umesorah convention recently and I had the pleasure of spending time with a young Rabbi who is dedicating his life to building a Torah community and helping Jews with little or no Jewish education embrace, Torah, mitzvos and Hashem, at a pace that makes sense for them. The fact that this month’s issue of Klal Perspectives even hints that we need to shine the bright light of success evaluation on his mesiras nefesh for the Klal, in the name of community resource allocation, is quite puzzling to me and to many others.

What was really striking was this Rabbi’s growth orientation. It was evident in everything he said. I asked him straight out where he had developed such a wonderful Torah attitude. He told me that he was an FFB, and had fine tuned this orientation in the years he learned at the Jerusalem Kollel of Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz. In addition to Rabbi Berkowitz, he mentioned the influence of a number of BTs at the Kollel. He said that the BT contribution to a communal Torah growth perspective is both immeasurable and undervalued.

For the readers, writers and commentators here on Beyond BT this growth culture is no secret. It permeates almost every post, comment and email we receive. We are a group of people who after 5, 10, 20, 30 or even 40 years of Yiddishkeit, are still fanning the same flame that was lit when we learned our first Rashi.

No one can ever measure the spiritual progress we’ve made, or the spiritual growth we still yearn for. It can’t be evaluated in dollars, in journal articles or in any measure you can think of, due to the sometimes overlooked, obvious fact, that spirituality can’t be measured, by definition. We should state our protests to those who might wittingly or unwittingly slow down the teaching of Torah to our fellow Jews, but our main focus is to continue our growth, and encourage and assist everyone in our circles of concern and influence to continue their spiritual growth.

It’s not about self-congratulations, or recognition, it’s about clarity of vision and clarity of mission. It’s about growth and concern for the spiritual growth of every Jew on the planet. And knowing that the evaluation of our individual and collective spiritual success is only in the hands of Hashem.

Steven Covey’s 7 Habits and Mesillas Yesharim

Posted on by — 4 Comments ↓

One of my favorite secular books is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey. (Covey passed away on July 16, 2012 at the age of 79) Covey says he studied the wisdom literature to write this book. The book was recommended to me by 3 mussar-oriented friends at about the same time, so I picked it up and try to integrate the lessons learned into a Torah lifestyle and outlook.

The first 3 habits in a nutshell are
1) Be proactive: Take control of your life. Live a life by design and not by default.
2) Begin with the End in Mind: Begin with the image of the end of your life as the frame of reference by which everything else is measured.
3) Keep First things First: Organize and implement your activities in line with the aims established in habit 2.

One could say the tag line for the first 3 habits is: Organize and Execute around Priorities: Habit 1 says be proactive and organize; Habit 2 says set priorities; Habit 3 says execute around those priorities;

When studying the first opening line of the “Man’s Duty in this World” chapter in Mesillas Yesharim, I was struck by the similarities to the first 3 habits.

The foundation of Saintliness and the root of perfection in the service of God…
– Here the Ramchal is telling us to Be Proactive and strive for saintliness and perfect service as that is what we are here for.

…lies in a man’s coming to see clearly and to recognize as a truth the nature of his duty in the world
– We should Begin with the End in Mind, which is our duty in this world to come close to Hashem

…and the end towards which he should direct his vision and his aspiration in all of his labors all the days of his life.
And we should Keep First Things First and direct all our visions, aspirations and labors toward the end of comimg

So Ramchal is telling us to organize and execute around priorities. Work towards perfection by prioritizing or focus to get closer to Hashem through Torah, Avodah and Gemillas Chasadim.

Please take 5 minutes to review the first chapter of Mesillas Yesharim. We were learning in memory of Sarah Bas Reb Eliezer Kops.

Here is Chapter 1 from the R’ Shraga Silverstein’s translation and posted here through the genrosity of Feldheim Publishers. It is available for purchase here.

The foundation of Saintliness and the root of perfection in the service of God lies in a man’s coming to see clearly and to recognize as a truth the nature of his duty in the world and the end towards which he should direct his vision and his aspiration in all of his labors all the days of his life.

Our Sages of blessed memory have taught us that man was created for the sole purpose of rejoicing in God and deriving pleasure from the splendor of His Presence; for this is true joy and the greatest pleasure that can be found. The place where this joy may truly be derived is the World to Come, which was expressly created to provide for it; but the path to the object of our desires is this world, as our Sages of blessed memory have said (Avorh 4:21), “This world is like a corridor to the World to Come.”

The means which lead a man to this goal are the mitzvoth, in relation to which we were commanded by the Lord, may His Name be blessed. The place of the performance of the mitzvoth is this world alone.

Read more Steven Covey’s 7 Habits and Mesillas Yesharim ›

Matisyahu and His Fame Filled BT Path

Posted on by — 13 Comments ↓

Matisyahu has an interesting interview on Aish. They have a strange disclaimer at the beginning of the article where they state that they don’t endorse everything Matisyahu says and does. I never thought that they endorsed everything any writer or interview subject says or does.

In answer to the question “Can we set the record straight: Are you still a religiously observant Jew?”, Matisyahu responds:

I don’t really know what the word “religious” means. I believe deeply in God, and if we mean that Torah and Mitzvahs are our guide for the journey, then yes some will call me “religiously observant,” but others will see the external changes I’ve made and say that I am not. Perhaps labels based on these types of externalities are too simplistic, or just convenient. I certainly understand that my position in popular culture lent value to those external elements. My recent changes are part of my own journey, and are not a rejection of the inspiration that gave people.

I am still committed to Judaism, to seeking truth through halacha and observance. I find a tremendous amount of inspiration and truth within Torah and Judaism, but I had taken on certain minhagim, customs, and stringencies that became habit – either because at one point I had connected to them, or simply because I had been convinced that “religious” Judaism had to look a certain way. Over time some of these external aspects, like the beard, had become deadening and oppressive for me. I had to take a step back.

So it seems that Matisyahu is still observant but unfortunately he made a typical BT mistake of going too fast. Shaving off your beard would certainly be considered normative in the Beyond BT universe and in the Aishosphere. And there are occasions, especially in regards to earning a living where the halacha would allow the removal of a yarmulka. In fact Ron Coleman wrote a post about not wearing a Yarmulka at work a few months ago.

Let’s give Matisyahu a collective Brocha that he should continue in his growth in Torah and mitzvos, and successfully meet the challenges that continued fame will bring. Enjoy the Aish article and enjoy the music.

Clash of Cultures – A Torah Observant Wedding and Father’s Day

Posted on by — 16 Comments ↓

When we were planning the wedding of our daughter, we really didn’t think that having it on Father’s Day would cause a conflict. And so far it hasn’t, except for one exception… our secular friends.

We don’t have that many secular friends, but the response from those we did invite has been weak.

What did you think are the primary causes?

a) Father’s day is a big thing in the secular world, despite it being a minor event in Torah Observant society

b) Secular people think that they will feel uncomfortable at a Torah Observant wedding, so they often opt out

c) The Torah Observant lifestyle leaves little room to nurture secular friendships causing them to lose some of their luster

The Limits of Inspiration

Posted on by — 29 Comments ↓

One of the most popular articles in the last Klal Perspectives Issue, focused on the crisis of spiritual connection in the American Orthodox Community, was Rabbi Moshe Weinberger’s titled “Just One Thing is Missing: The Soul”. BTs might particularly appreciate Rabbi Weinberger’s reference to a line from an old song “Something inside has died, and I can’t hide it, and I just can’t fake it”. As Rabbi Weinberger cataloged a multitude of ills of the Orthodox community the lyric that came to my mind was “Your no good, your no good, your no good, baby your no good”.

Last week, the Five Towns Jewish Times ran Rabbi Weinberger’s article on the front page. This week there were four letters to the editor, starting on page 73, two of which expressed a preference for the more traditional learning Torah approach as opposed to the emotional inspiration approach of Rabbi Weinberger.

I always found Rabbi Tatz’ article on “Why Inspiration Doesn’t Last” to be very instructive on this issue. Rabbi Tatz points out that initial inspiration is necessary in the beginning of a growth process, but after that “determination, perseverance and a stubborn refusal to despair” are needed to achieve lasting growth. Rabbi Tatz warns us not to be misled into thinking that the world is supposed to be a constant thrill, and then to feel only half-alive when it’s not.

Spiritual work is hard and it’s easy to see why a person might prefer a more passive “Inspire Me” approach. My experience as a Baal Teshuva with it’s unreal initial growth phase followed by the slow going plateau period, as well as the teaching of my Rebbeim has shown me that you have to put in the work day in and day out. Torah. Avodah. Gemillas Chasadim. There are ups and downs, and it’s certainly not a life of “We will, we will Rock You”, but there’s growth and there’s connection and the depth, meaning and beauty of the Torah life lies before us.

You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
You can get it if you really want
But you must try, try and try
Try and try, you’ll succeed at last

One Minute Guide To Passover

Posted on by — 3 Comments ↓

The Events of the Exodus
The process of the Exodus began when our forefather Abraham was told by G-d that his descendents would be enslaved in Egypt and subsequently freed. It was two generations later when Jacob, the son of Isaac and the grandson of Abraham, and his family settled in Egypt as the honored guests of the Pharaoh at that time.

The process continued through: the subsequent Jewish enslavement by the Egyptians; the ten nature-defying plagues prophesied by Moshe and activated by G-d over a period of twelve months; the subsequent release of the approximately three million Jews to freedom after the plague of the death of the first born; the splitting of the Red Sea seven days after their release; and the receiving of the Torah at Mount Sinai seven weeks after their release.

Our Focus on the Exodus
The centrality of the Exodus in Judaism is predicated on the fact that the Jewish people were freed and separated as a unique nation through the clear actions of G-d Himself. In addition to the physical freedom achieved, G-d chose us to be the world’s spiritual leaders by giving us the mitzvos of the Torah at Mount Sinai The mitzvos free us from a purely animal-like physical existence, to one in which we can elevate all our actions to be spiritual and G-d connected. Passover is a time where we commemorate the Exodus and renew our spiritual focus.

The Seder
The Seder, with its primary mitzvah of the telling of the story, enables us to experientially reconnect with the slavery and freedom of the Exodus and express our appreciation to G-d for our redemption and selection as His chosen people. The salt water, into which the green vegetable is dipped, and the bitter herbs are associated with our bondage. The four cups of wine and the festival meal help us relive our freedom.

The Holiday of Matzah
Matzah is a prime component of both the Seder and the eight days of Passover. Consisting of just flour and water, matzah was our no-frills food when we were slaves in Egypt. It is also a symbol of our freedom because we hastily left Egypt without enough time to bake bread.

From a spiritual perspective, the leaven enhances breads physical aspects by adding flavor and digestibility to its life sustaining core. As such, bread is appropriate for the rest of the year when our main challenge is to integrate the physical into the spiritual. On Passover, however, we eat only matzah and abstain from the physically oriented leavened bread. A matzah diet allows us to keep spiritually oriented as we refocus on our mission of spiritual leadership of the world.

Teens at Risk and Baalei Teshuva Parents

Posted on by — 6 Comments ↓

Back in October, the AJOP newsletter sent out an announcement about a study that would be presented by Dr David Pelcovitz on Teens at Risk and Baalei Teshuva. We wrote a post about it, and speculated about the results.

At the time, I was a little concerned about the study because I thought it would portray BTs in a negative light. I emailed Dr. Pelcovitz and shortly thereafter a had a conversation with him. He told me that this study and another study in Israel found that Teens from BT parents were not at greater risk of having problems than FFB parents.

As it turns out, the study was not focused on who was at greater risk BTs or FFBs, but rather what were the factors for BTs that lead to a higher chance of at-risk teens.

You can see a synopsis of the study. In addition, there is a Power Point of the presentation.

Here are the four major findings of the study:

1) Results showed parents report an adolescent of a baal teshuva family who is poorly integrated in the community will be at greater risk for behavioral difficulties.

2) Results showed that those adolescents of parents who exhibit rigid or chaotic (unhealthy) parenting style are reported by their parents as exhibiting higher levels of behavioral and emotional difficulties than adolescents whose parents exhibit an authoritative (healthy) parenting style, a balance of love and limits.

3) Results showed that adolescents of families that are either disengaged or enmeshed (unhealthy family structure) are reported by parents to exhibit higher levels of behavioral and emotional difficulties than adolescents whose families exhibit a balanced emotional connection (healthy family structure).

4) Results showed that if a parent reported becoming newly religious during his or her twenties or thirties, his or her child was reported as vulnerable for having more difficulties during adolescence.

Dr. Pelcovitz said that there were no real surprises in the study, but finding number 4 needed a little explanation.

A major take away that AJOP presented is that BTs should be provided with more parenting classes. In reality, the fact that FFBs have the same at-risk rate, means that FFBs probably should also strive to be better parents through parenting classes.

I’m glad that BTs were not found to be at greater risk as I originally feared. As a result of emailing Dr. Pelcovitz and speaking to the head of AJOP, Rabbi Lowenbraun, David and I got to present our BT observations at AJOP based on the 6 years of articles and comments from Beyond BT.

We had a decent size audience for both of our presentations and I’m not sure what the impact was. We did however speak to a number of people involved in Kiruv in preparation and we gained some more clarity on the issues facing BTs. We’ll post the summary of our presentation in the next few weeks.

The 60 Second Guide to Succos

Posted on by

Three Principles of Judaism
Judaism believes in the importance of both action and belief. The Jewish principles of belief can be divided into three categories 1) G-d is the source and ultimate authority over all existence, 2) G-d revealed his plan for the perfection of the world through the prophetic experience, 3) G-d exercises providence over the world in response to man’s actions to assist in bringing the world to its ultimate perfection.

Jewish Holidays and The Three Principles
Every Jewish holiday has a spiritual energy which man can access in pursuit of self perfection. Three of the primary Jewish holidays help us strengthen our understanding and connection to the three principals of Jewish belief. Pesach is focused on G-d’s existence, Shavuos is focused on G-d’s revelation and Succos is focused on G-d’s providence.

Succos and G-d’s Providence
Succos is a reminder that G-d provided and continues to provide a special level of providence over the Jewish people. This special providence guarantees the physical survival of the Jewish people throughout history and provides a special continuing spiritual connection between G-d and every Jew. This special providence was originally provided by the special clouds that surrounded the Jews when they left Egypt. This providence is renewed every Succos when we live in the Sukkah and when we hold and wave the four species of the lulav, esrog, willows and mytle branches.

Happiness and Pleasure
Succos is a time of special happiness. Pleasure is the experiencing of unity and completion, while happiness is the active pursuit of that completion. We experience unity in the physical realm in a musical piece, work of art or the beauty of nature, in the emotional realm when two hearts beat as one, in the intellectual word through the understanding and reconciliation of ideas and concepts, and in the spiritual world through the experience of the unity of the body and soul.

The Happiness of Succos
On Succos the end of the harvest season provides physical happiness, the connection to others through the many meals and collective prayer services promotes emotional happiness, while the spiritual cleansing of Yom Kippur and the sense of G-d’s presence in the Sukkah creates a spiritual happiness.

May we all merit to use the tools G-d provided us to achieve the highest levels of understanding and happiness.

The 60 Second Guide to Yom Kippur

Posted on by — 5 Comments ↓

While Rosh Hashanah is focused on G-d’s existence, authority and supervision of the world, Yom Kippur is focused on our role in G-d’s plan for the perfection of humanity.

We’re created half-spiritual and half-physical with a strong ego, so we’re conflicted between doing what is good (spiritual) and what feels (physical) or looks good (ego).

Judaism does not deny us physical or accomplishment pleasures, rather we’re instructed to make these pleasures secondary to a focus on becoming giving, emotionally mature, G-d aware individuals.

However, because the ego and body drives are so strong, we make mistakes and instead of driving towards the long-lasting perfection of our spirit, we pursue short-lasting and often self-destructive physical and ego satisfaction pleasures.

G-d expects that we’ll make mistakes and He gives us the means to self-correct and erase the negative effects of our mistakes on the day of Yom Kippur. In fact Yom Kippur is considered a joyful day and we eat a festive meal before the day begins and one after the fast ends.

To assist us in our self-correction, G-d instructs us to refrain from physical pleasures like eating, bathing and intimate relations and we focus on the greatness of G-d and put our egos on the shelf for a day.

Eliminating our physical and self-centered pleasures gives us the opportunity to introspect, admit and express regret over our limiting self-destructive actions and negative character traits. When accompanied by sincere intent to improve, G-d assists in removing the effects of our mistakes and allocates the resources we need to become the better people we want to be.

May we be successful in using this awesome day to set ourselves on the path of actualizing the greatness each of us possesses.

Starting the Parsha Earlier In The Week

Posted on by — 4 Comments ↓

We know learning Torah is one of the most important activities we can do, yet there are probably many weeks when we don’t look at the Parsha till late in the week or on Shabbos.

We might use lack of time as our alibi, but we probably had time for some Internet reading or other non-essential activities.

It’s important for us to be very familiar with every Parsha and the prescription for that is Shnayim Mikra Ve-Echad Targum.

As we mentioned previously, there are prominent Poskim who hold you can fulfill the requirement by reading the Hebrew once during the week, reading the second time along with the laining on Shabbos and using an English translation such as Art Scroll for the Targum/translation component. If you’re not already accomplishing Shnayim Mikra weekly, then please try this method.

Rabbi Noson Weisz has a must read piece on this week’s parsha which gives a clear understanding on the different paths of spirituality for Jews and Non-Jews.

In a nutshell:
– Bilaam was the prophet for non-Jews who’s role is to teach non-Jews how to serve G-d.
– Bilaam knew the precise moment each day that G-d was anger which is the time when the Midas HaDin is strongest which results in G-d distancing Himself from the world.
– Moses was told not to connect to G-d when He was angry.
– The path of the Bilaam and the nations of the world is to serve G-d through the road of anger which results in withdrawal and self denial.
– The path of serving G-d for Jews is to connect to G-d via love which involves inserting spirituality and closeness to G-d in every aspect of everyday life through the mitzvos.
– Bilaam was the nation’s potential Moses but his unwillingness to accept the Jewish path of service as legitimate caused him to try and harm the Jews, ultimately bringing about the incident at Ba’al Peor.

Please take the time to read Rabbi Weisz article.