Here we stand, almost ½ a year later from the establishment of the Beyond BT blog. The question that we need to ask ourselves is “have we changed”? Have we incorporated those ideas presented here that made sense to us?
I don’t want to scare anyone, but I am afraid that just like people’s “new year’s resolutions” never get fulfilled, the good possibility that many of us didn’t take the good advice offered here, is a reality.
I think that one major piece of advice given by many of the writers and commentators here has been to find for yourself a spiritual guide. A Rav/ Rebbbetzin that you feel you want to learn from & grow with. In fact, many complaints by many BT’s that I have encountered over the last 16 years has been this: “I don’t have a Rav”. I would venture to say that most FFB’s also don’t have a Rav to guide them. Sure, most people have Rebbeim for Kashrut questions, but what about how to really “live” their lives, help with the school issues since BT’s don’t have that frum parental and grandparental wisdom to rely on, and shalom bayit issues.
There is no cure all for all of one’s BT problems, however I would suggest that finding this spiritual guide would be a major step in the right direction. So, I ask, how many of us who didn’t have someone already, found a Rav/Rebbetzin in the last year?
If you answered yes then Kol Hakovod. If you answered no then you must ask yourself “am I self-defeating”? Why such a harsh term? Because I believe that when we keep avoiding what is “good for us” then I see 1 of 4 possibilities.
1) We have sincerely looked but could not find one suitable
2) We don’t know what is good for us
3) We are too busy to look for one. Between Holidays, work and school we can’t breath
4) We don’t really want help/self-defeating/self-fulfilling prophecies of doom.
I think the latter goes for most people. Why? Maybe people don’t want to get their life really moving. Maybe they are afraid of more commitment or having to take on new mitzvas than before. Maybe people like the excuse “what more could you expect from me Hashem, I didn’t have a Rav”? For anyone who said #3 then I ask you: “If you had a major medical issue would you push it off or do what you have to do to take care of it”? I assume most people would be in the doctor’s office Monday morning. Having a spiritual guide is of such crucial importance for a Yid, then it deserves the same priority as other major issues.
I hope and pray that each and everyone of us continue on the path of growth and learning and we “find ourselves a Rav/Rebbetzin”.