Here we stand, almost Â½ a year later from the establishment of the Beyond BT blog. The question that we need to ask ourselves is â€œhave we changedâ€? Have we incorporated those ideas presented here that made sense to us?
I donâ€™t want to scare anyone, but I am afraid that just like peopleâ€™s â€œnew yearâ€™s resolutionsâ€ never get fulfilled, the good possibility that many of us didnâ€™t take the good advice offered here, is a reality.
I think that one major piece of advice given by many of the writers and commentators here has been to find for yourself a spiritual guide. A Rav/ Rebbbetzin that you feel you want to learn from & grow with. In fact, many complaints by many BTâ€™s that I have encountered over the last 16 years has been this: â€œI donâ€™t have a Ravâ€. I would venture to say that most FFBâ€™s also donâ€™t have a Rav to guide them. Sure, most people have Rebbeim for Kashrut questions, but what about how to really â€œliveâ€ their lives, help with the school issues since BTâ€™s donâ€™t have that frum parental and grandparental wisdom to rely on, and shalom bayit issues.
There is no cure all for all of oneâ€™s BT problems, however I would suggest that finding this spiritual guide would be a major step in the right direction. So, I ask, how many of us who didnâ€™t have someone already, found a Rav/Rebbetzin in the last year?
If you answered yes then Kol Hakovod. If you answered no then you must ask yourself â€œam I self-defeatingâ€? Why such a harsh term? Because I believe that when we keep avoiding what is â€œgood for usâ€ then I see 1 of 4 possibilities.
1) We have sincerely looked but could not find one suitable
2) We donâ€™t know what is good for us
3) We are too busy to look for one. Between Holidays, work and school we canâ€™t breath
4) We donâ€™t really want help/self-defeating/self-fulfilling prophecies of doom.
I think the latter goes for most people. Why? Maybe people donâ€™t want to get their life really moving. Maybe they are afraid of more commitment or having to take on new mitzvas than before. Maybe people like the excuse â€œwhat more could you expect from me Hashem, I didnâ€™t have a Ravâ€? For anyone who said #3 then I ask you: â€œIf you had a major medical issue would you push it off or do what you have to do to take care of itâ€? I assume most people would be in the doctorâ€™s office Monday morning. Having a spiritual guide is of such crucial importance for a Yid, then it deserves the same priority as other major issues.
I hope and pray that each and everyone of us continue on the path of growth and learning and we â€œfind ourselves a Rav/Rebbetzinâ€.