Many BTs were brought up in an environment of very permissive parenting and have witnessed the perils of such an approach. In the Torah world, there are clearer distinctions between proper and improper conduct and much closer guidance between parent and child. However this can lead to an over-exertion of control and BTs may be more susceptible to this, due to their lack of Torah guided parental models in their lives.
The general question is how does one determine appropriate parental control?
Let’s try to focus on a few specific questions.
– Should you steer your children away from friends whom you deem inappropriate?
– How much of a homework helper should you be?
Obviously these are not yes/no questions, but sharing your thoughts and experiences would be helpful.
For a good article on this subject, see Relinquishing Control – The difficult art of letting go. by Rabbi Noach Orlowek.
Rabbi Horowitz has an article on “Bad Friends”.