My children are good friends with children in the S family. Although the S family shared with us that they are relatively recent BT’s, their background is not widely known. Recently my 13 yo daughter mentioned to me that the S’s do not sift their flour. I suggested to her that she tell her friend that it is important for Kashrut. She agreed to tell her friend, but didn’t think the information would get to the mother this way. Some time after when my 11 yo son’s friend was visiting, I happened to find a bug while sifting flour. I showed them the bug, hoping he might tell his mother. But knowing 11 yo boys, I didn’t really count on it. A few days later while sifting flour I found a lot of worms! I rarely find anything when I sift, but there might have been remnants from that first buggy batch that grew in the interim. I was disgusted and a bit traumatized by this, and made sure to tell my daughter and her friend when they walked in shortly afterwards. I hope that now the information will make it back to the S parents, although I am still doubtful.
But the incident has left me pondering how to handle telling fellow BT’s if they are missing important Mitzvot. I’m sure that Mrs. S would sift her flour if she knew that it was a Kashrut issue. But should I even approach her about it? And if so, how? I can’t think of a way to bring this up in casual conversation, especially because we are not really friends. Things like this don’t just come up in conversation. How have other people handled such situations? How would you want to be approached if you were on the other side of it?