David Landau, year 1993, in his Piety and Power in Chapter 28, page 247:
Since the Sephardic society is less rigidly categorized in its observance than Askenazic, the teshuvah phenomenon triggers far less social and familial tension. Most Sephardic families are traditional to some degree, and so Chazara BiTeshuvah does not entail quite so sharp a break for the penitent. The rest of the family does not look upon its newly Haredi member so ambivalently. There is less of the skepticism, cynicism and resentment that Chazara BiTeshuvah often stir among the Askenazim. Sephardic families are usually proud of their Baal Teshuvah relative.
What can we learn from the Sephardim regarding categorization?
Is part of the acceptance due to the fact that the Sefardic BT is less judgmental about the lack of observance than his Ashkenazic counterpart?
Topic submitted by Mr Cohen.
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I grew up in a German-Jewish family, within a German-Jewish Ashkenazi community. Rural German Jews were Orthodox, yet lived closely in communities with non-Jews. In my experience, there is more acceptance of B”T among:
people who are closer in time to their countries of origin, originally rural people, less formally educated people, people whose families have a tradition of basic Hebrew knowledge. In my community people did not advertise their non-observance. That would have been seen as disrespectful. So to come back in T’shuva would not be so noticeable.
I once knew a Sephardic man who never had a real Torah education and went off-the-derech early in life. He dated non-Jewish women for decades.
As soon as he returned to “the community,†he was IMMEDIATELY accepted as a candidate for marrying a traditional/religious Sephardic girl.
Today he is married to a traditional/religious Sephardic girl, and has Jewish sons who know how to recite the traditional prayers while wearing tefillin.
However, I should also point out that in the Syrian Jewish community where this man lives, intermarriage and converts are super rare, and all marriages and divorces are performed by Orthodox Rabbis, so even the least observant members of “the community†do not need to worry about anyone suspecting their yichus.
Acceptance will never be that easy for Ashkenaz Baalei Teshuvah because FFB Jews are worried about marrying BTs whose mothers [or grandmothers] might have been converts to Reform [or Conservative] Judaism, and therefore not Jewish according to Halachah. This problem cannot happen with Syrian Jews because they accept no converts.
FFB Jews are also worried about marrying BTs whose mothers [or grandmothers] might have been remarried without valid gittin. Again, this problem cannot happen with Syrian Jews because they have no Reform or Conservative Rabbis, so all their marriages and divorces are performed by Orthodox Rabbis.
In conclusion, the continued existence of Reform and Conservative Judaism causes problems with BT acceptance, even for BTs who were never members of those movements. BT acceptance would be much easier if Reform and Conservative Judaism never existed.
BB #35: Donating to Hillel, which helps so many Jewish college students, is tremendous. However, with all due respect, I don’t believe that EB has given any other financial support to Jewish education.
My whole intent was to compare the charitable giving priorities of non-religious Ashkenazim to the charitable giving priorities of non-religious Sephardim. IMHO with the Sephardim, chinuch and Yeshivot do not rank last.
Responding to Steve Mantz (message 22):
QUICK FACTS ABOUT JEWISH CHARITABLE DONATIONS
FACT 1 OF 4:
According to an article by Jacob Berkman in the 11/2/2007 edition of the Jewish Herald on page 24, only 20% of Jewish Foundation dollars go to Jewish or Israeli causes. The other 80% of Jewish charity donations go to non-Jews.
FACT 2 OF 4:
According to the article Jewish Charities Missing Out On Biggest Donations by Jacob Berkman, from The Jewish Herald on January 11, 2008, on page 17:
“Of the $10 million-plus gifts by Jewish donors, only 5% went to Jewish groups, down from 6% between 1995 and 2000…”
FACT 3 OF 4:
Quick Statistics About Jewish Charity
==============================================
He [Michael Steinhardt] found that Orthodox Jews
are 50% more likely to volunteer their time.
While 14% of Orthodox Jews contribute more than $5,000
to Jewish charity, only 2.8% of the Conservative and
1% of the Reform do so.
The Orthodox do so despite carrying school tuition bills
often in excess of $50,000 per year.
NOTE: Michael Steinhardt is a Jewish philanthropist and atheist.
SOURCE: Article by Jonathan Rosenblum 2005 December 20,
http://www.cross-currents.com/archives/2005/12/20/communal-obligations/
FACT 4 OF 4:
Michael Bloomberg, for example, has given over $300 million to Johns Hopkins University, and in 2006 alone donated $165 million to 1,000 different organizations. The recipient organizations support arts, education, health care, and social services, with a special emphasis on reducing tobacco use. But none of the listed organizations is even a Jewish social services organization, much less one teaching Judaism.
SOURCE: Anything but Judaism! by Yaakov Menken, 2008 January 8
http://www.cross-currents.com/archives/2008/01/08/anything-but-judaism
Responding to Steve Mantz (message 22):
In recent years, there have been articles in Jewish newspapers complaining that secular Jewish donate a tiny percentage of their charitable dollars to Jewish causes.
If you pay attention to Jewish newspapers, then you should have seen those articles.
When it comes to the big multi-million dollar gifts, those are especially unlikely to be given to jewish causes, even though the donors are Jews.
You seem to be saying this is a good thing, or atleast not a bad thing.
Where does our Torah say that a large portion of Jewish charitable donations should be given to Gentiles?
Sorry I’m late to this discussion.
@Judy, I’m pretty sure I know who EB is- and he has funded Hillels for kiruv at colleges throughout America.
To Steve Mantz #22-23: Wow, Steve, I seem to have bumped hard into one of your pet peeves, the one named “I Hate Generalizations About Jews.” For the record, I don’t recall using the word “most” anywhere in my earlier comment, nor did I use the word “all.”
I wanted to only convey my OPINION (excuse me, my HUMBLE OPINION) regarding what I personally perceive to be the relative estrangement of non-religious Ashkenazic Jews from the religious community, as expressed in their charitable gift-giving priorities, as compared to non-religious Sephardim.
No, I do not have sociological studies or hard numbers to back up the personal perceptions underlying my own humble opinion.
I am not against stem-cell research, nor do I oppose donating to upkeep museums or “saving the whales.” It’s just that in my own humble opinion, and in the opinion of many Gedolim, the top priority for our limited charitable dollars should be supporting Jewish education.
“Stem-cell research? There is nothing Jewish or non-Jewish about that! It’s absolutely fine, in my opinion, for any Jew to support it.”
It is Jewish! Here is what the Rabbinical Council of America said in 2004:
“The potential to save and heal human lives is an integral part of valuing human life from the traditional Jewish perspective. Moreover, our rabbinic authorities inform us that an isolated fertilized egg does not enjoy the full status of person-hood and its attendant protections. Thus, if embryonic stem cell research can help us preserve and heal humans with greater success, and does not require or encourage the destruction of life in the process, it ought to be pursued. ”
Rabbi Dr. Moshe Tendler has been even more strident on this issue.
Ben David, I think you’re on to something there.
Sorry for the typo in 3rd paragraph
I did not mean to repeat myself
Of course you can find all types of people (accepting, judgemental, etc.) in Jews of every shade and stripe. But, We are speaking in generalities here. In general, I would say that Sephardim are more spiritual than Askenazim. The only reason I can think of for that, is that Ashkenazim were more affected by the Haskala movement and secular zionism because the origin of both of those is in Eastern European countries.
To quote the rabbi of our (Sephardic) shul, Sephardim have “an easier approach to life”. Of course, there are many chumrot observed by Sephardim as well.
If you have seen Sephardic shuls(o/s of EY), you see all different levels of observance and orientation. In our shul, we have a very small group that would identify as haredi, many more who would identify with an MO approach and several who are marginally shomer Shabbat. We have black hats as well as jeans (& the occasional ponytail) among the men & scarves, sheitels and hats, and a very loose definition of tzniut among the women. All are welcome and truly treated with respect. All are welcome (even Ashkenazim–LOL).
In Sephardi shuls, all the davening is done together and out loud. It is the ultimate expression of achdut among klal yisrael and makes a strong impression.
Mr. Cohen quotes David Landau:
“Most Sephardic families are traditional to some degree, and so Chazara BiTeshuvah does not entail quite so sharp a break for the penitent. The rest of the family does not look upon its newly Haredi member so ambivalently.”
How did David Landau define “Haredi” in 1993? How does that compare to today’s us of the term “Haredi?”
Was he referring mainly to increased observance of Jewish ritual, or was he also referring to a significant change in the ba’al/ba’alat teshuvah’s mode of dress and involvement in secular education, culture and recreation?
Chaya:
It seems to me in general that Israeli Sefardim are definitely NOT less judgmental in the sense that they seem more fire-and-brimstoney than most American BTs. However, they might possibly be more optimistic that their families will eventually do teshuva.
– – – – – – – – – – – – –
The more direct answer is to look at what their “fire and brimstone” are about?
Actual mitzvah observance rather than chumrot and external stylistic considerations.
In such a culture, a girl with a tattoo (or pants, or a bare head) still knows all about mikveh, still feels herself part of the community – and may actually observe such mitzvot herself.
Because she hasn’t been judged – and excluded – based on externals and extreme chumrot.
Discreetness, that is.
I once witnessed an exchange between Sefardim of different religious stripes that I will never forget:
Sefardi brides have a party at the mikvah with all their friends and female relatives. To my American Ashkenazi BT eyes, it’s quite a sight–food, music, dancing, a departure from the usual discreteness and austerity of the mikvah waiting room.
I was once at the mikvah in a heavily Sefardi community in the north of Israel. The young Haredi Sefardi mikvah attendant gave brachas to the kallah and who appeared to be her best girlfriends.
I watched in astonishment as one of the friends, heavily tattooed and obviously quite pregnant, pressed her forehead against the attendant’s as she blessed her wholeheartedly that she should (among other blessings) meet her zivug! Then she kissed her.
It seems to me in general that Israeli Sefardim are definitely NOT less judgmental in the sense that they seem more fire-and-brimstoney than most American BTs. However, they might possibly be more optimistic that their families will eventually do teshuva.
Bob Miller:
Ben David referred to “the immature, unhealthy, “dress-up†approach to teshuva that is evident among Ashkenazi BTs.â€
Evident among what proportion? I don’t see this much.
– – – – – – – – –
I’m not the only one that sees a significant subset of (usually young) BTs who seek to radically change their lives – and feel “special” or draw attention to themselves – at least as much as they want to serve Hashem.
Consequently these people reject middle-of-the-road Orthodoxy because it’s not strange enough, and go “play dress up” with the haredim. Because living a Torah life here and now is not (yet) the sole attraction.
Because they have not yet shed the narcissism (or narcissistic defense against pain) that set them on their “search”.
20 years on, some of my BT acquaintances and relatives have still not shed that narcissism – there is always one more chumra with which to preen/drive others crazy.
(…which is also how many FFB charedim play the chumra culture…)
Compare that with a Sephardic BT who has sincerely religious (grand)parents of a completely different, non-haredi background, and has usually received a Jewish education.
Such a person already partakes and knows
of authentic Judaism outside the chumra culture. Their Teshuva is likely to be more about avodah, and less about narcissistic posing or rebellion – how could they even use Judaism as a platform for rebellion?
They are less likely to fall into the more unhealthy habits of the “black hat” world – less able to convince him/herself that dressing up and playing the haredi game of “can you top this chumra” is somehow more “authentic” Judaism.
Landau is not always wrong, but has enough biases not to be treated as an authority.
There ARE horror stories about the way that some Ashkenazim have treated some Baalei Teshuva. There ARE horror stories about the way that some Sephardim have treated some Geirim (Converts). Let’s hope that both types of stories are relatively rare.
Sephardim (religious and otherwise) do support orchestras, hospitals, and schools in Africa in addition to JCC’s, Israel and Yeshivot. Non-religious Ashkenazim support JCC’s, Israel and Yeshivot in addition to orchestras, hospitals and schools in Africa. There is nothing wrong with religious Ashkenazim doing the same. I am proud to be a religious Ashkenazi who contributes to a variety of causes, Jewish, “other religious”, secular, American, Israeli and foreign.
Everybody should give to worthy causes, and if that person wonders if he or she is fulfilling the halachic and hashkafic requirements for tzedakah, he or she should consult a rabbi.
I am very uncomfortable with the labeling taking place in this thread. The Sephardic Community Center and the other JCC’s in Brooklyn and elsewhere all make important contributions to the community. Not a single one of them is a Yeshivah, not a single one of them is a den of inequity. I will repeat what I wrote above (# 12): “Hopefully, all such organizations (JCC’s) will continue to provide wholesome recreational and cultural activities, kosher refreshments, and close on Shabbat and Holidays.”
I’ll close with a question about the book cited in the original post by Mr. Cohen: Was the series of statements made by David Landau in 1993 based on evidence available at the time, and is the series of statements accurate today?
Judy, many might agree with you about non-religious Ashkenazic Jews; ie, they frequently give to non-Jewish causes. many might also say that most of those Jews are rich. I reject many such broad generalizations. I hope you see my point. I see many pitfalls in adhering to any stereotype of Jews, religious or non-religious.
If you’re saying that we as a community need to do more to support our own causes, I can agree. but saying that “most†do anything is troubling.
what’s wrong with Jews giving to worthy causes anyway? In my mind, that’s a GOOD thing.
But to answer your point, the UJA raises millions every year. millions. where does all that money come from? the man in the moon?
Have you been to the UJA website lately? there are hundreds of wealthy Jewish doctors, lawyers, stockbrokers and bankers, who give huge amounts of money, every single year. same goes for JNF, Hadassah, etc etc. The Jewish community, quite simply, gives millions to its own Jewish community groups on a regular basis. this is true of both religious and non-religious.
Many wealthy non-religious Jews in Scarsdale and Connecticut have their own favorite Jewish groups which they give to endlessly. does that sound accurate? or were you thinking of a different group of Jews, based on political affiliations?
where do you think the UJA gets all those millions from? just asking.
[DUPL. entry, with revisions. sorry, thanks.]
Judy, I agree with you about non-religious Ashkenazic Jews. they frequently give to non-Jewish causes. you’re with me, I hope. also, most of them are rich. still with me? also, most of their kids never join the military. also, most of them are more loyal to Israel than to America. still with me? still bouncing along in the back of the truck? Or did I lose you a few blocks back?
I hope you see my point. I fail to see the validity of adhering to any stereotype of Jews, religious or non-religious.
If you’re saying that we as a community need to do more to support our own causes, I can agree. but saying that “most” do anything is troubling. what’s wrong with Jews giving to worthy causes anyway? In my mind, that’s a good thing.
The UJA raises millions every year. millions. where does all that money come from? the man in the moon?
Have you been to the UJA website lately? there are hundreds of wealthy Jewish doctors, lawyers, stockbrokers and bankers, who give huge amounts of money, every single year. same goes for JNF, Hadassah, etc etc. The Jewish community quite simply, sends millions of its own community groups on a regular basis. this is true of both religious and non-religious.
quite simply, wealthy non-religious Jews in Scarsdale and Connecticut have their own favorite causes which they give to endlessly? does that make sense? or were you targeting a different group of Jews, based on politics rather than affiliation?
where do you think the UJA gets all those millions from? just asking.
Bob Miller, I was going to make exactly the comment you just made in comment 19.
The Sephardic Community Center in Brooklyn has no Gentile members and is closed on Shabbat and all Jewish holidays. When I was there as a guest many years ago, their swimming pool had hours for women only and hours for men only. There was also a room on the ground level with a nice library of sefarim and Orthodox siddurim.
The Sephardic Community Center in Brooklyn also displayed a copy of the Decree Against Intermarriage, which states that any member of the community who marries a Gentile will be penalized.
Today, “our” JCC’s often open on Shabbos, and have a majority or large minority non-Jewish membership.
Judy (#16),
I don’t see it as a black crow/white crow issue, but there are crows of all colors, and a few ducks, geese and sea gulls in the mix, too. I hope I haven’t run “a fowl” of any sensitivities with that statement.
Seriously, I just spent a few weeks in Israel, and I attended several concerts. There were religious Jews in the audience and in the orchestra. Since religious Jews benefit from these activities (jobs and enjoyment), why shouldn’t a religious Jew support them, whether as an attendee or as a donor? And since Jews of all types enjoy these activities in the US, why shouldn’t Jews of all types support them?
Stem-cell research? There is nothing Jewish or non-Jewish about that! It’s absolutely fine, in my opinion, for any Jew to support it.
There are hundreds of JCC’s in the US. They even have their own association, to which the Sephardic CC belongs.
http://www.discoverjcc.com/index.php?xsearchfield%5B0%5D=10&xsearch%5B0%5D=11230&submit=Search&xsearch_id=jcc_locations_search_zip&src=directory&srctype=lister&view=jcc_locations&submenu=locations
Other than the Sephardic appellation, I see little distinction between the SCC and the various JCC’s. Non-relgious Ashkenazim support the JCC’s. Religious Ashkenazim frequent them, so they should support them, too.
Some of the biggest supporters of Israel (activists, donors, etc.) are non-Orthodox Ashkenazim.
For an example of a Sephardic philanthropist who gave generously to Jewish and general causes, look at the life and legacy of Edmond J. Safra, which endures through the work of his widow, Lily.
http://www.edmondjsafra.org/
Ashkenazim and Sephardim have much to learn from each other. Each group has much to be proud of in its own right. We can and should work together. When hailing a particularly admirable practice in the Sephardic community, we can encourage Ashkenazic emulation of that practice, without finding widespread fault where none exists.
Ben David referred to “the immature, unhealthy, “dress-up†approach to teshuva that is evident among Ashkenazi BTs.”
Evident among what proportion? I don’t see this much.
To Steve Mantz #10: We’ll have to agree to disagree.
I still stand by my statement that NON-RELIGIOUS (the adjective is crucial, which is why I am now capitalizing it) Jews of Ashkenazic descent will donate to non-Jewish causes like “Save the Whales,” hospitals, museums, universities, symphony orchestras, etc., while NON-RELIGIOUS Jews of Sephardic descent will donate to Sephardic Jewish community needs (Yeshivot, mikvaot, JCCs). This is IMHO and you may disagree as much as you want. I have not used the word “all” anywhere above, so showing me one white crow won’t disprove what I said, as I did not say that all crows are black.
I do not want to name specific names as I am wary of running afoul of either secular libel laws or of halachos about Loshon Hara. I could cite the example of E.B. the multi-millionaire of Lithuanian descent who gave millions to Harvard to start a Stem Cell Research Institute and who built a Museum of Contemporary Art in California. Compare to E.S. the Sephardic billionaire who gave generously to Sephardic causes.
I am aware that the Tisch family has donated to the Artscroll Mesorah series, and that the family of Robert and Myra Kraft (owners of the New England Patriots football team) have donated generously to Jewish causes, particularly those benefiting Israel.
I am also aware that E.K., a RELIGIOUS Ashkenazic Jew, has donated millions to some very good causes. E.K. was one of the main donors to the new campus for Yeshiva Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway, and has sponsored a number of notable seforim for Artscroll. We should all be grateful to HKBH for giving wealth to those individuals who use it wisely to assist our community.
Following on Shulamit’s post – let’s turn this around:
How many Sephardic BTs make the self-consciously radical changes that Ashkenazi BTs do?
My guess is that “familiarity with Judaism” and “respect for tradition” cuts both ways – it not only makes less religious Sephardim more accepting of BTs, it also makes Sephardic BTs less extreme, and probably less prone to the immature, unhealthy, “dress-up” approach to teshuva that is evident among Ashkenazi BTs.
Perhaps instead of talking about “BT Acceptance” we should be asking why more BTs (and especially BTs) don’t adopt that broader Sephardic definition of community, rather than rushing into the Haredi chumra culture – often for unholy/unhealthy reasons.
My husband is Sephardic and we’ve gone more to the “right” than his traditional, Sefardic family. They are shomer shabbos and i would define as more modern orthodox. They are thankfully a loving family and we all are close, but i do feel that they look at us as a little odd for being such “frummies.” They often “rib” us on being too frum to eat certain hechshers, but again, b/c they are loving my husband takes it in good humor. But I just raise the point that a personal, surprised reaction to someone becoming more to the right is not necessarily so different between Ashkenaz & Sephardic…
@bob; fair point, and I see your reasoning. however, just to clarify, I said in my post that we as a community need to assert the moral goals and areas which need our attention right now. So that was the intent of my comment.
In my opinion, there is a difference between making generalizations which depict people’s actions a certain way without strong evidence, and a comment which simply asserts a standard or a goal which we need to try to reach. so, in my opinion, that was the difference and the context for my comment. thanks.
there is nothing constructive, in my opinion, about a comment which denigrates one segment of the Jewish community, simply in order to commend another. segment.
[DUPL. comment.]
The Sephardic Community Center is not particularly a religious institution. Those who support it act admirably, as do those who support JCC’s, YM/YWHA’s and similar organizations.
http://www.scclive.org/
Hopefully, all such organizations will continue to provide wholesome recreational and cultural activities, kosher refreshments, and close on Shabbat and Holidays. (Unfortunately, the 92nd Street Y in Manhattan now stays open on Shabbat.)
Donations to arts, environmental and health care organizations may not always meet the halachic/hashkafic standards for tzedakah. Still, they are important contributors to the quality of life in a community. Those who support them, as long as they meet their obligations to truly needy people, are performing a public service.
An assertion “that Jews have a somewhat flawed ability to properly identify or articulate the issues in their community, without resorting to generalizations” is obviously a generalization!
When we generalize wisely, we have nothing to apologize for.
Judy; you’re proving my point. your vague generalization about what Ashkenazim are likely to do only proves that the premise of this whole discussion is deeply flawed. furthermore, your contention that Sephardim are more ready and able to donate to their own community, is not conclusive in my opinion. what makes you think there are not wealthy Ashkenazim who donate large amount to Ashkenazic shuls? Flatbush is full of them. (I know you said “non-religious Ashkenazim”, but your example refers to Ocean Parkway, so my point seems relevant.)
this turn in the discussion only proves that Jews have a somewhat flawed ability to properly identify or articulate the issues in their community, without resorting to generalizations. I suggest that you try defining the moral goals and efforts which we need to do, rather than the groups whom we can look for to blame, thanks.
to everyone here, I know that generalizations are very tempting to make. all the same, please don’t do them. thanks.
[DUPLICATE entry with revisions; please delete previous.]
Whereas non-religious Jews of Ashkenazic heritage love to donate money to non-Jewish causes like “Save the Whales,” museums, hospitals and orchestras, non-religious Jews of Sephardic heritage still prefer to donate to their own mosdot within their own community. A Sephardic Community Center that was built about thirty years ago on Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn, New York, had no problems obtaining donations from wealthy Sephardic businessmen, whereas there are unfortunately wealthy Ashkenazic Jews who will donate everywhere except Jewish causes.
The oldest synagogues in the western hemisphere, and in what is now New York City, are Sephardic. The first Jews in New Amsterdam came from Brazil. They had fled there from Portugal after the Inquisition, and when the Portuguese took over Brazil, the Jews followed the Dutch northward.
I davened Maariv (well, Arvit) tonight at a Sefardic congregation that was here over a century before there were any Ashkenazic congregations in America. I have yet to locate an Ashkenazic Orthodox congregation that is more than 160 years old.
I think that the Reform synagogues in Charleston and Savannah started out as Sefardic.
In America, most Ashkenazim came much earlier than Sephardim, hence, more time to assimilate.
There was a very big influx of Ashkenazim in the late 1800’s (Germans) & early 1900’s (Russians), then another big influx during and after WW2 (Eastern Europeans). Most of these Jews were fleeing pogroms or communism.
There was a big influx of Turkish & Greek Jews around 1915-1920’s. People from the more Middle Eastern countries (Morocco, Iran, Iraq, Egypt etc) came much later. Also, these are the Sephardim that immigrating to America now. Most Sephardim were fleeing some type of revolution, usually a radical form of Islam.
Generally speaking, Askenazim have been in America much longer than Sephardim. Therefore, they have had much more time to assimilate. Although it’s true that Sephardim of all religious levels generally attend Orthodox synagogues, that is changing as they have become more assimilated into American society. There are Conservative synagogues that are primarily Sephardic; something you would not have seen 40-50 years ago. I don’t believe there are Sephardic Reform synagoues.
Also, from what my relatives (from Turkey) have told me about the “old country”, the Jews lived among Muslims and the communities were somewhat integrated. I believe Ashkenazi Jews were more insular and their communities more separate from their Christian neighbors. This lifestyle would also contribute to a more tolerant attitude among Sephardim to accept people of different levels of observance.
wow. well, the BT phenomenon is MUCH different in the Askenazic community than the Sephradic. I thought that should have been obvious. for one thing, anyone who identifies themselves as “Sephardic” cleary retains some of their Jewish affiliation. WWhile an Askenazic jew can be anyone of European descent whio is halachically jewish, so they could be much much more removed from Jewish community affiliation.
I’m a tiny bit surprised that this point is not being mentioned here.
I have one friend who identifies as “non-observant Orthodox”. She became a BT, then drifted over the years. Many factors. But it was more of a “I can’t do this (now)” thing for her than an “I don’t believe in this” thing.
Definitely not the traditional Ashkenaz non-observant mentality, and probably a big part of our remaining close despite miles, years, and lifestyle.
I think many Sephardim who are not particularly “frum” retain a deep respect for Jewish tradition and practices and have had reasonably close relations with their more religious cousins. This attitude developed historically, so I’m not so sure how it can be imported into Ashkenazic communities now. Ashkenazic movements such as Reform separated themselves much more radically from traditional Judaism.
Culturally, Non-frum Ashkenazim are just so different than non-frum Sefardim and religious Ashkenazim are also so different from religious Sefardim, it is reallly difficult to compare the two. Particualary when we compare Anglo Ashkenazim to Israeli sefardim.
This is an issue of the basic cultural fabric that has developed over a long period. Askenazic Jews created Reform etc instead of just becoming less observant for a reason. They have also had pretty rough neighbors to deal with.
Sephardim in general are better at relating “outside” of their communities and have had a much less traumatic experience with the non-Jews whose countries they lived in (with some exceptions).
I’ve always wondered if this translates into Sephardim being more Benyamin/Yosef based spiritually and Askenazim being more Yehudah oriented. I sure don’t know, but I wonder every time this subject comes up.