As you know we’re planning a Beyond BT Meet Up on Friday February 11th from 8:30pm to 11:30pm in Kew Gardens Hills at 141-43 72nd Crescent. There will plenty of food, friends, L’Chaims and short divrei Torah. It’s open to BTs, children of BTs and friends of BTs, and people who want to be friends with BTs.
We’re hoping to start discussions so we can identify additional ways that we can support our sub-community.
Here are 10 topics for discussion:
1) What inspired you to become frum?
2) How have your family and friends accepted you becoming observant?
3) Do you currently have a mentor or a Rabbi that you speak with regularly?
4) What resources have you used to help find a Shidduch?
5) Have you been able to address your gaps in Torah education?
6) What would you different in your journey the second time around?
7) Are you a member of a Shul? Are you Active? What attracted you to that Shul?
8) How have you dealt with intermarriage among family and friends?
9) What kind of support programs would you like to see going forward?
10) Do you need a refill? What are you drinking?
O.K., here goes:
1) What inspired you to become frum?
childhood memories
2) How have your family and friends accepted you becoming observant?
Mostly o.k., but many still don’t get it–they think it’s all about the food
3) Do you currently have a mentor or a Rabbi that you speak with regularly?
Not really, but my husband does
4) What resources have you used to help find a Shidduch?
BH, was not an issue.
5) Have you been able to address your gaps in Torah education?
Read, read, read, attend shiurim, listen to recorded shiurim, learned along with/from my kids who attend(ed) Yeshiva
6) What would you different in your journey the second time around?
I would have pursued intensive learning before I got married and had kids
7) Are you a member of a Shul? Are you Active? What attracted you to that Shul?
Yes, two shuls (one I go to & one I don’t–just kidding). Not really, but active in the community. I like(d) the davening.
8) How have you dealt with intermarriage among family and friends?
With great difficulty, but I try to treat everyone with respect.
9) What kind of support programs would you like to see going forward?
I don’t have much time, so this site works for me.
10) Do you need a refill? What are you drinking?
Decaf with milk
Suggested Topic for # 9)Support Programs —
Achieving Independence for BT’s
We don’t have to be perpetual guests; we are quite capable of providing ourselves with meals, as well as hosting other people for meals (including FFB’s, other BT’s, and people who are beginning to learn more about Torah observance).
Administrator said:
“9) What kind of support programs would you like to see going forward?”
I want to see Baalei Teshuvah receive help with: shiduchim, jobs, Shabbat invitations, rides, and Torah study. This help can come from other Baalei Teshuvah or from anyone.
I won’t be there, so I’ll answer, too.
1)I was bunking by a friend who happened to be in a BT yeshiva in Israel. I stayed and went through the program. I suppose deep down I was looking for something, who knows.
2)They were offeneded by many things.
3)Not regularly
4)Matchmaker, matchmaker. In the end, it was some guy (not a matchmaker) who knew about my wife, and knew someone who once mentioned my name in passing. Nice end to a difficult parsha.
5)I better have. I teach now in a day school. I still have my BT moments, but I can hide it from the kids, and they’re very infrequent.
6)I would’ve been more expressive about my inner feelings during the metamorphasis.
7)Yes. I’m very inspired by the Rav’s divrei Torah. It’s very in line with what I believe. I don’t feel this way with everyone.
8)You might find out soon. I submitted a posting.
9)Don’t know. But there should be something.
10)Water. Anything alcoholic is a sofuk bracha. (Although I have wine on Pesach.)
Have a great time at your Oneg!
8)
1) What inspired you to become frum?
Long spiritual search. I finally am home.
2) How have your family and friends accepted you becoming observant?
Some family members don’t quite understand it, but they’ve accepted it. I was always the non-conformist.
3) Do you currently have a mentor or a Rabbi that you speak with regularly?
Yes.
4) What resources have you used to help find a Shidduch?
Frumster.com! We are match #152.
5) Have you been able to address your gaps in Torah education?
Total immersion. I’m keeping up with daf yomi, and have two other shiurim I regularly attend. And I go out of my way to take public transit whenever I can because it creates more hours for learning.
6) What would you different in your journey the second time around?
I would be even LESS concerned about what other people thought about my hashkafah.
7) Are you a member of a Shul? Are you Active? What attracted you to that Shul?
Actually I pay dues to three shuls! And I am very active in two of them. They are very friendly, with nice services (lots of singing, not a lot of talking, and they don’t rush through davening). And you can’t tell the FFBs from the BTs from the gerim.
8) How have you dealt with intermarriage among family and friends?
It actually hasn’t come up much, just with coworkers. I politely decline wedding invitations.
9) What kind of support programs would you like to see going forward?
I can’t think of any. As I pointed out above, in my community you can’t tell the FFBs from the BTs from the gerim.
10) Do you need a refill? What are you drinking?
Lactaid milk.
7A) Would you like to become President? Secretary? Treasurer?
It’s actually an Oneg on Shabbos itself. I’ll try to post some responses – B”N.
Harry Maryles, posted his thoughts on some of the topics on his blog today:
http://haemtza.blogspot.com/2011/02/three-questions-for-ger-and-baal.html
For those of us unable to attend, can someone please summarize what is spoken about at the Melave Malka?
I would love to hear some people’s answers to the above topics (o.k., maybe not #10).