As most of you are aware, this past Motzei Shabbos was the Annual Beyond BT award ceremony. Below, you will find a roundup of some of the more prominent awards:
Most Sparkly Commenter – As if there was ever any doubt – Jaded Topaz
Acceptance Speech excerpt: “Wow, this award is fantastically fuchia with undertones and frilly flashes of fluorescent filament.†(Ron Coleman was said to have commented: “Huh?â€) It should be noted that when JT removed her sunglasses she realized the award was a grey mouse pad.
Best Spammer – Tramadol, 500mg
Acceptance Speech: “I like your blog, I have bookmarked it, click here for cheap, prescription drugs.â€
Best Former Lawyer that Plays Guitar and Own a Maple Syrup Farm – In a tightly contested category, Rabbi Shmuel Simenowitz barely edged out the competition
Most Disgusting Comment – Bob Miller for his Repulsive Chulent Recipe comments.
Acceptance Speech Excerpt: “Really, try it, it tastes much better than it sounds.†(Audible gagging filled the auditorium)
Most Prolific Use of Acronyms – Steve Brizel (that makes six years in a row or should I say TMSYIAR)
Short Acceptance Speech Excerpt (simultaneous translation was provided): IMHO, IIRC, I would like to say TY to my EK, BBT, RYBS, and, OC, to HKBH for giving man the intellect to invent the alphabet. (A heckler from the crowd was summarily removed for repeatedly yelling out “I’d like to buy a vowel†during Steve’s speech)
Celebrity presenters included Rabbi Shmulky Gebrokts of “The Shabbaton is Coming” fame, Chaim G. and Anonymous (who looks great in a tux)
Entertainment was provided by Rabbi Goldson who sang “Stuck in the Middle With You†backed by Rabbi Simenowitz and Gili Houpt on guitar and highlighted with a mean, sixteen minute long kazoo solo by David Linn (who was immediately wisked away for a saliva transfusion). Hope to see you all at the awards next year! Freilachen Purim!!
The award for most, um, “inside knowledge” roshei tevot goes to Chasidic sefarim. Esh Kodesh comes to mind. It’s like some kind of Litvak-proof fence. :-)
I have a book (Luach Roshei Teivos) that is a glossary of abbreviations used in seforim. Many entries have multiple choices of word combinations for each abbreviation. Often, in reading a sefer, you really have to know the context well to pick out the right expansion of the abbreviation, which can get really frustrating for a novice.
Newly typeset editions of many seforim (that is, not photo-offset copies of Eastern European editions, etc.) often have fewer abbreviations, which is a real relief. Some even have vowels.
Ruby_ I once heard that in the case of the Pre Megadim ( and possibly the Minchas Chinuch as well) that the use of so many RTs was because of the then exorbitant cost of printing and paper.
I would presume that RTs were written by the writer as a short hand and carried over by the printer. Interesting things happen sometimes when a printer expands out the RTs in a manner not necessarily intended by the writer…
(I know you meant voWELized, Steve. It was a Shushan Purim kibbitz).
It would be interesting to find out if the Rosh HaTeivos were instituted by the printers or if they are in the actual ksav yad as well. Also, were they intended to be a short hand for the writer or was it expected that the reader would know them as well?
Ruby-I meant the old editions of MB before the advent of the Mnukad editions.
Jaded —
Book me in!
Steve,
Where can one get a vocalized MB, and, more importantly, can you listen to it on Shabbos and YT?
Rabbi S.,
I’m going to speak to Mark about making your comment a “sticky”.
If you think that I use Roshei Tevos, try the old editions of the Minchas Chinuch, the standard edition of the Pri Megadim or the old pre vocalized editions of the Mishnah Brurah!
David Linn, internally and eternally intoxicated is my default state of being. Which is why “huh” is the sort of ambiguous near admiration (I can perceive things any way I want ;-) I often hear when presenting thoughts and ideas.Purim is the only day I make a concerted effort to stay sober lest I do something stupid or spiritual in error.
Leah L, not to knock your snoody marketing strategies or anything …. I’m pretty sure I would absolutely never describe snoods and related products like wiggy wigs in such effervescent/colorful and hyper happy tones.
Chaim G, So you mixin mé up now with the one and only Rabbi Schwartz ???
Are you suggesting that I’m your Haman in your oh so impressive proclaiming of celebrating purim down to the letter and the overflowing spirits of the law …. Until not only can you not differentiate between haman aka Jaded Topaz and Mordechai aka Rabbi Schwartz but you’ve even forgotten that Haman was a male ! I’d like to take this unique opportunity to remind you that I’m a female and haman is still a male ünless the stories have changed over the years as they tend to do. Has your spiritual alcohol mentor never told you not to mix the Crown Royals,Slivovits,Ray and Nephews/Absolutes/Smirnoffs and Jagermeisters? (Maybe that’s what female Hamans in 2007 are for ;-)
Speaking of Rabbi Schwartz though ….Rabbi Schwartz you haven’t posted posts in blog day decades ! I think its time for a post especially considering the fact that the quite intoxciated Chaim G is mixin üs up. Your rep is at stake ! You don’t want to be confused with the Jaded Topaz who apparently can pass for a female Haman.
Rabbi Goldson,Óh my Gd !!!!!!!!!!!!!Pretty potent powerful ponderings you got there ! You should come lecture in NYC.We could use this kind of deep ponderings on real stuff. If you come in the spring its really pretty with flowering trees right in the middle of urban territory.
You could do Grand Central/Port Authority/Penn Station,Central/Bryant/Madison square park/Union Square and Washington Square. Ànd if your feeling especially ambitious Secaucus/Passaic/Point Pleasant/Hoboken/Ridgewood and Mahwah.
Rabbi Yonason Goldson:
As part of your campaign strategy you may want to study the comic book series “Tintin”. Pay particular attention to the verbiage of Captain Haddock.
Chag Sameach all!!!
Tuna cholent? Gulp. ;-P
Bob,
What judge (post 8)are you referring to? This judge doesn’t like that concoction. You’re not making the tuna “cholent” in my kitchen. The injunction stays.
I’d like to thank G-d, the Academy (that’s the Hebrew Academy) and since it’s Purim, I’d like to close with a little country song I wrote about Amalek. It’s called “I keep forgetting to remember to forget”.
Time to make the syrup
In the Purim Spirit an award should go to most hidden yet influential blogger. I nominate Kressel Housman.
How about me?…I can no longer distinguish between Rabbi Schwartz’s posts and Jaded’s responses!
More than u know, Rabbi, more than u know.
Boruch HaShem, David! You have fulfilled the mitzvah of Purim.
Rabbi Goldson:
To quote Ron: “Huh?”
Albany Jew,
I think I can speak for Mark when I say we have no bias against Albany. Bias against you, that is another question.
Ah, at last mine eyes have beheld the ephemeral verasimilitudes of metaphysical symbiosis reflected in the dying embers of temporal renewal and rebirth and in the microcosmic panorama of conflicting impulses that sunder the heavens while paradoxically providing the potential for anameonopeic resolution, oneness, and synthesis.
(Making my bid to displace Jaded for next year’s awards. And you should hear me do Cole Porter.)
I feel I should have won the “most frequent poster from Albany” award and attribute the oversite to “Anti-Northern bias” I know that David and Mark went to school here but they may be self-hating. :)
“Steve Brizel” is actually an acronym itself. I challenge everyone to fill in the blanks.
Great!! I actually almost wrote a post in abreviations a la Steve Brizel for Purim, but it was too hard!!
Well this brings to mind a more sobering topic about how you straddle two worlds and stay sane. I would like to see what’s been written about it so far, if you can point it out to me.
I’m thinking of how you excise all the mundane and even over-the-line aspects of your former secular life from your brain, or do you even try.
It’s actually troubled me from the get-go, and I’m approaching my sixth anniversary as a BT.
Bob,
Eclectic, that is a nice way of putting it, Bob.
LOL! Exactly!!!
This is the first time I’ve ever seen “Parcells’ in the same paragraph as “cultural” and “mitzvos”. This is like three planets lining up in a row. We are an eclectic bunch, aren’t we?
Shalom David,
I’m so sorry. Yes, I should have known! I posted twice before here several months ago, and have relaunched on the scene just this week. So, yes, yes, I should have known!
Okay, so, for your consideration ……. ;-D
Now, I must go finish off cleaning my cave to get ready for Shabbos!
Leah
P.S. What I really love about BTs is that you can still be frum, completely 100 per cent shomer mitzvos, and still understand references to “Bill Purcells.” There have been many a times I’ve been at a Shabbos table and drawn nothing but blank stares for making cultural references that meant nothing to my host Yeshivah family. But then again, there’s my FFB Yeshiva grad Bobov Rabbi friend who is a total devotee of the Toronto Maple Leafs, circa 1965. Go figure.
Bob,
I will have the rules committee look into that, Bob.
What’s this allegation by Linn about major media hype? If not for the heads-up my undercover informant (Charlie the Tuna, or was it Bill Parcells?) gave me, my followers would never have voted as early and often as they did.
Leah L.
Please don’t try to feed us that line that you didn’t know about the awards. What do you live in a cave or something. These awards have been hyped my the major media outlets for six months.
Sounds like sour grapes to me.
“Bob: if you are thinking of making that cholent again, you better be extra sure that injunction has been lifted.”
The judge likes it. Next case.
Jaded,
To quote Ron: “Huh?”
Bob: if you are thinking of making that cholent again, you better be extra sure that injunction has been lifted.
Chaim G,
To quote Ron: “Huh?”
I beg your pardon. I look best in a straight jacket. And I am NOT anonymous. Autonomous in my go-your-own-way opinions and synonymous with eponymous but never anonymous.
What’s Purim w/o grahmin???
*sniff*
Had I known there were awards, I would have posted more. And where’s your “Rookie of the Year” award?
Also: When Jaded said this, “Wow, this award is fantastically fuchia with undertones and frilly flashes of fluorescent filament,†I’m pretty sure she was talking about our soon-to-be-launched line of NIKE “Snoodwear.”
LOL !! I’m Feverishly Flattered and just started a whole new foliage arrangement to house my award in for posterity purposes and frequent praise promoting. (perfect timing right after I’ve self promised to embrace humility with a lifetime of holy bear hugs). The glitterless Gregory Gray mouse pad is the epitome of functional non colorism, perfect for focusing on past due tasks.
Ron,I have plenty of iridescent oriented sunglasses and shot glasses should you wish to see the world in half full mode or in vividly vivacious color mode.
Huh?
I should also win the typo award.
s/b hashgacha
I ask my admirers’ indulgence to say a few humble words about my award. This is the first blog award I have ever received. I’m utterly stunned, taken aback, transported into raptures of joy, you name it.
I will keep this wondrous occasion in my heart forever.
David Linn and my other fans are welcome to express their admiration in a tangible way by sending me (not C.O.D., please!) cans of tuna fish or other tuna cholent ingredients made under their favorite kosher hasgacha.