When talking to people about the secular education our children are receiving in their schools, many people think that it’s “good enough”. But is that true? Is the average student doing well on standard tests like the SAT? Can they write well? How are they doing in Math, Science and Technology?

Do you feel your children’s secular education is really good enough?

Why?

Why not?

What can be done given the low budgets our schools are dealing with?

On Monday, Shmuel recently posted an astute comment on the Integrating the Ba’alei Teshuva post.

There is a lot of emphasis on sociology/culture in the orthodox community today. I have no idea whether this is good or bad, or whether it is even possible to change should someone think changing it would be a good idea. But it is important for a BT to be aware of this, since it can affect one’s development and self-esteem.

One may desire to fit in culturally in his chosen community, but the cultural fitting in is NOT what makes him religious. In always has to be secondary. Say a person wants to be oved Hashem and he thinks such and such community is the place he can do it best. Say that community demands or prefers cultural conformity (hat tilt angles and such), or he’ll feel more comfortable if he conforms, or some other reason that makes a positive difference in his life. So he’ll conform and his hat tipped correctly, etc. But it is important to keep in mind that that stuff is NOT avodas Hashem.

How have you navigated Orthodox Culture in your progress of Serving Hashem?

Do you feel too much time was spent?

Do you feel that you had to ever compromise your Avodas Hashem to conform?

What advice would you give new BTs in this area?

Do you remember your first Yom Kippur as an observant Jew?

How has the experienced changed over the years?

Has the fast gotten easier?

Has the daven gotten easier?

In what ways do you have a greater appreciation of the day?

What advice would you give to someone who says they can’t relate to such long davening or to one of the central themes-all the sacrifices?

10Q is a website that asks and provides a space to answer Ten Questions from Rosh Hoshana to Yom Kippur. Here are there questions from a few years back.

• What’s a significant experience that has affected you over the past year?

• What is something you would have done differently over the past year?

• What is a major milestone that affected your family in the past year?

• What global event most affected you last year, and why?

• Have you had any experiences this past year that changed the way you thought about spirituality?

• What’s one specific thing that you would like to accomplish by this time next year?

• Is there a part of yourself (physical, emotional, intellectual) that you want to work on in the coming year?

• Is there a specific person, cause, or idea that you want to learn more about in the coming year?

• Is there a fear that has limited you in the past year? Do you think you could overcome it next year?

In the BT parenting recipe post the author wrote:

Very little interest in grades at school – middos are all that matter to me on their reports.

To which Ron Coleman commented:

I cannot comprehend how one can teach children “middos” while teaching them that grades — which for most people are the best evaluations we have of how kids are doing in school, which includes the (ethical) components of diligence and responsibility — don’t matter. The acceptance of mediocrity is a major cultural issue in our community and I strongly disagree with this suggestion.

Do you prioritize either middos or grades?

How do you put grades in their proper perspective?

How about students that work hard and still end up with “C”s?

Is effort and improvement more important than grades?

When things are calm and going well, it’s easy to be a “perfect” parent, and much parenting advice seems to be directed towards that unreal realm.

Perhaps what would be even more valuable is imperfect parenting tips, when our unpolished side is on display. How do you react or recover when your irritable, angry, judgmental, non-empathetic or just say the wrong thing?

What are your most taxing imperfect parenting situations?

What are some of your imperfect parenting techniques?

In this week’s post about a BT’s Recipe for Raising Healthy Kids, the author wrote:

The frum world may be crazy, but it’s the best society we have – embrace it, but don’t buy into the craziness, maintain your independence. Better a frummer school and we parents are the open minded ones, than a less frum school and we parents are the closed minded ones.

Do you think the frum world is full of craziness or have you made efforts to understand why many things are not as crazy as they seem?

Are you making Bar Mitzvahs and Weddings below the community spending norms?

Will you be heavily involved in finding spouses for your children when the time comes?

Do you stretch your financial resources to try and pay as much tuition as possible?

Do you find that there are always significant differences between school norms and family norms?

Do you think the correct default choice is the frummer school over the less frum school?

What are some examples of craziness that you have found?

What are some examples of craziness that you have seen are not so crazy?