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On Relating to Our Non-Religious Family

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By Gail Pozner

My family and I recently arrived back from a family “simcha” – the bas mitzvah in a reform temple of our niece. Being frum for 20 years and having made no dent at all in the religious interest of our respective families, I have come to the realization that the most my husband and I can hope for in terms of impacting them is making a Kiddush Hashem; and that is no little thing. It is one of the reasons why we were created. So for those out there who share the inability to be mekarev our families: how to create a Kiddush Hashem in the midst of non-religious family and old friends? I’ll share a few experiences we’ve had over the years.
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Educating Our Children – Where Did We Go Right?

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Allen A. Kolber
Monsey, NY

After 15 years as a ba’al teshuva and seven years of marriage, the crisis finally came. It wasn’t over my non-frum family, which shul to daven in, whether to wear a velvet or knitted yarmulke (I had settled long ago on the black knitted compromise). No, the crisis finally came when we had to choose a school for our first born son.

Our first mistake was thinking that we would interview the schools. The reality is that the schools interview you. And, in any interview situation, the reality is that you are being judged, in a very short period of time, and relative to the other parents who are hoping to have their boy admitted in to the same yeshiva. I don’t envy any Rosh Yeshiva who has that responsibility.
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The Insights Born Out of a BT’s Past

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By Michael Salzbank

There is an evolutionary process to the BT. As we learn more we become more aware of what is appropriate in different situations. This is true for everyone in society (you don’t wear jeans to a black tie affair). Frum women will dress even more modestly when going to the Kotel or when going for a bracha from a Rebbe.

So in part, it is not an issue of conforming but becoming more sensitive to the standards and norms of the situation, the community.

I am intrigued by the global aspects to the BT. Read more The Insights Born Out of a BT’s Past ›

What does Brown vs. Board of Ed. Have to Do with Us?

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If you thought I was going to write about racism and frum Jews, you were wrong. My topic is should we integrate and “melt” or should we stick with our own and “stew”. I am a firm believer in not walking around with a shirt saying “kick me, I am a Baal Teshuva”.

After being involved in kiruv for a good number of years now, and being a BT myself, I have seen both sides of the argument. Overall, the integrator does better in his/her adapting to their new lifestyle and their children do better. They feel like they fit in. I believe part of it is a self confidence issue which should disappear with learning. Read more What does Brown vs. Board of Ed. Have to Do with Us? ›