How was your Yom Kippur?

Do you feel like you achieved some level of Kapara (atonement) and Tahara (purity)?

What are you doing to make the effects last?

How are you preparing spiritually and mentally to increase your joy on Succos?

Dear Beyond BT

Whenever we get invited to Simchas, I’m conflicted. On the one hand I know how much I like people to share in my Simchas. On the other hand, leaving my children is very hard for them and me.

How have other people handled this?

Thanks
Julie

We’re drawn to the exciting things in life like Simchas, vacations, new purchases, etc., but most of our life consists of the routine.

How can we better appreciate the routine and use it as a springboard for growth?

A reader wrote in stating that only the best and the brightest have a real chance of succeeding as Baalei Teshuvah and contributing to the overall Orthodox Jewish community, implying that our kiruv efforts should be focused on the best and the brightest.

If we view Kiruv as helping people to reach and maintain an observant life style perhaps the reader has a point that resources should be focused on the best and the brightest with the highest probability of success.

If we view Kiruv as bringing anybody closer to Hashem to whatever degree, whether they become observant or not, then it would seem that we shouldn’t limit our efforts.

What do you think – Should Our Kiruv Focus Be All Jews or Just the Best and Brightest?

The period between camp and school highlights the perennial problem our children’s boredom. For some the normal boredom fillers such as TV, Movies, Internet surfing, Video Games are not available, further increasing the problem.

What solutions have people come up with to try and alleviate the problem?

Did we have the same problem when we were young or has the availability of so much “excitement” put our kids in the state of boredom when they are not being highly stimulated?

This week’s Mishpacha magazine had a sentence which mentioned the “quiet Queens section of Brooklyn”. Many in Queens where a tad miffed at the hostile takeover of our lovely borough since Queens is most definitely not a section of Brooklyn.

As BTs we have a chance to be proud of our town of birth as well as our current community.

Are you proud of your hometown or your current community?

Are their hashkafic issues surrounding such pride?

There are few Jews in the world, who weren’t pained with the stories and photographs in the newspaper and the live pictures on television showing our rabbeim in handcuffs, stoic faces, being marched off the bus and to court. We read every word in the paper and ask ourselves, how could this happen? And during the nine days no less. We try to give benefit of the doubt, but it is difficult. We see the sight of an 87 year old rabbi, the pinnacle of wisdom and holiness, with his head hanging low, being marched off to what might be his ends years in prison. We want it all to turn out to be a big mistake, for our brothers to be cleared of all wrong doing. We cry for the communities who have to deal with the loss of their rabbinic leaders and their trust. It’s devastating.

Since this website is Beyond BT, I want to suggest a new discussion post topic related to this.

Does anyone feel particularly embarrassed because it’s religious Jews, and it’s hard enough convincing your secular family that you’ve chosen the right path, but this doesn’t further that cause?

When the Madoff scandal hit, we were all embarrassed that he was Jewish, but for me, seeing religious Jews in handcuffs, with their long beards and peyos and kippot and tzizzis, it’s all the more painful. And I find myself wondering what my family is thinking, and if they will use this to further their already negative perceptions of religious Jews. Ideally, we understand that every religion has people off the derech, and it doesn’t mean the whole derech is bad. We have peaceful Muslims trying to convince us of that all the time.

So is anyone embarrassed about this latest shanda, as it relates to how your secular family already views religious Jews?

There has been some discussion lately on the blog regarding the issue of “high walls”. For the sake of discussion, let’s define high walls as taking strict measures to keep what’s deemed good in the community in and keep what’s deemed to be detrimental influences outside of the community.

The benefit of high walls seems clear: they help preserve the purity of the community and to keep bad influences out.

It seems fair to ask, though, “are there drawbacks to high walls”?

Some have pointed out these possible drawbacks, high walls may:
1) also keep out positive things;
2) create a less welcoming community;
3) not properly prepare members for how to interact with others with differing perspectives thereby diminishing ahavas yisroel and the potential for kiddush Hashem;
4) stifle those community members that need/desire alternative expression;
5) not properly prepare its members for how to handle a situation in which they are faced with one of the outside influences that the high walls are intended to keep out.

Are there other benefits to high walls?

Are there other potential pitfalls?

Are there ways to decrease the potential pitfalls and increase the benefits?

It seems like we have a lot of work to do to rebuild the Beis Hamikdash. Most of us are fairly good Jews, so it’s easy to blame the other guys for the problems and perhaps to some extent it’s true that it is their problem.

But could it be that we are collectively to blame for the faults of the Jewish world?

Is it possible that we need to care more about our fellow Jew and develop the love needed to effectively help each other improve?

Contempt is an easy emotion, but could it be that the contempt we hold is a big part of the problem?

Of course this does not mean that all wrongs are equivalent, but should we not point the finger of blame and shame out ourselves every once an a while and look at our own faults?

Do we have the courage to accept some of the blame?

What can the average mitzvah observer do to achieve Kiddush HaShem, sanctification of G_d’s Name?

In other words: What can Orthodox Jews who are not millionaires and not Rabbis do to improve the reputation of Judaism and Jews?

What can average Orthodox Jews do to reduce or avoid Chillul HaShem?

We all have a lot of stuff on our plate, families, making a living, Torah learning, community service and more. In addition, people seem to have shorter attention spans these days.

How have the Beyond BT readers deal with these challenges?

Do you use time management systems to organize your life?

Do you make time to just sit and think and focus on your most important goals?

What Torah based solutions have you found to help face these challenges?

Have you found any useful techniques to help with keeping the distractions at bay during davening?

It’s summer time and the school break should afford us a little extra time to pick up a new sefer.

What seforim are must reads for your fellow co-religionists?

Why do Orthodox Jews purchase Orthodox bashing secular newspapers
and anti Orthodox Jewish newspapers?

Why do pro Israel Jews stubbornly insist on purchasing newspapers
that bash Israel relentlessly, even though there are good alternatives?

– Nathan

A friend recently wrote in pointing out that comments of the form “it depends which Rabbi or neighborhood you live” pop up recurringly on Beyond BT. This could easily lead to picking a Torah that fits us, instead of changing ourselves to fit the Torah.

While most us us do recognize that there are multiple paths within Torah, we certainly don’t advocate molding Judaism to fit ones needs.

How do you view this issue?

Can the the expression of multiple opinions here mislead newly observant Jews into believing that a BT can tailor Orthodoxy to fit their needs?

If it is a problem, any suggestions on how to deal with it?

To some it’s a terrible thought.
To others it’s a necessity and a fulfillment of Hashem’s will.

What do you think?

Should we market Torah?

And if so, how should we go about it?

Dear Beyond BT

I’ve been frum for over 16 years and I’ve noticed that the most people in Shuls do not get involved in a significant way.

It’s certainly admirable to donate your time to communal affairs, but if a person decides he’d rather allocate his time differently, why do some people have a complaint against him for not getting involved.

If a person pays his dues, is there anything wrong with being a passive Shul member.

Thanks
Ezra

We’re coming up to Shavous and we all feel blessed to be involved with Torah. But often when we try to share the Torah with those who aren’t observant they can sometimes look at us like we’re from Mars.

Yes we’ve listened to the tapes of why Torah Judaism doesn’t discriminate against women. And we know why believing we are the Chosen People is not a sign of arrogance. And we have an answers as to why wiping out Amalek is not barbaric. We know why kashrus, Shabbos, tefillin and all the mitzvos we perform are still relevant to the modern man.

Yes, we can answer all the tough questions, but we still can’t seem to move our neighbors off their position of rejecting Torah.

Do we just move ahead and not get distracted by those who don’t accept the truth of Torah? Or should we keep on trying to increase our clarity in these matters and work on ways that we can better share what we know with others?

Dear Beyond BT

My friend and I have been frum for about 10 years coming though a Yeshivish environment. We both spend a decent amount of time learning, including regular review of the parsha with Rashi and we have gone through Mishnayos and Mishna Berurah on the Daf a day plan. In addition we both have regular Gemora chavrusas and shiurim that we attend.

For the past few years my friend has been learning Kabbalah like Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan’s Innerspace, Rabbi Moshe Chaim Luzzato’s Way of G-d and the Knowing Heart and many other English Kabbalah books. I’ve told him that he really shouldn’t be so involved with Kabbalah and should stick to the standard Yeshivish material. He tells me that Kabbalah reveals the inner depth of Torah, and many great Rabbis think it is appropriate to learn these days, and he feels it helps him get closer to Hashem.

I’m wondering perhaps I should spend some of my time learning the Kabbalah seforim. Has anybody been involved with the Kabbalah seforim like the ones mentioned above? Would you recommend it for someone with my background?

Thanks
Mendy

Many of us have shelves lined with Introduction to Judaism books, but I’m not sure there are any books that stand out as clear must reads. Many of the books out there are encyclopedic and many seem more geared to the BT already on his way.

Have you found any books that you would say are must reads?

If not, what would a must read book look like in terms of content, length and tone?

As the years go on, there is more and more Torah audio available for free on the Internet, however there are still a significant number of pay sites.

Some of these pay sites have shiurim that many would benefit from, but for which they are unlikely to pay given the wealth of free material.

1) Why are there sites that still charge, even though there seems to be few sites that sell significant amounts of material?

2) Should we or could we try to convince some of the pay sites to offer their material for free?

3) Is there a Torah hashkafah view as to whether to charge or give away, especially as the cost of production and distribution of audio continues to trend towards zero?