Riding the wave of recent holydays has been a rush. In dizzying succession there’s being fueled by Pesach to relive the exodus from Egypt, gaining freedom from self-limitations, the journey of self-improvement through “Sefiras HaOmer”, breaking the barrier between Heaven and Earth with the Revelation at Sinai, receiving the Torah joyously anew and the humbling privilege of being chosen as Hashem’s nation by the advent of Shavous. Like an adrenaline junkie – I mentally scanned the Jewish calendar for the next signpost that will provide my next “fix”:

The “3 Weeks”.

I was jarred by the shock of being unexpectedly splashed by a stream of mental cold water. My euphoric balloon burst and I felt like I had slammed full force into a brick wall. Darkness. Silence.

The “3 Weeks”.

Images of no music, the sense of foreboding as I plan where & when to travel, rushing to get clothes washed and pre-worn, no showers, the acrid taste of an egg dipped in ashes, hunger pangs from fasting, isolation, shifting in constant discomfort on a hard, overturned bench; breaking my teeth on the unfamiliar and seemingly endless recital of Kinos, looking wearily for the clock to strike “chatzos” (afternoon) and the worst – not being able to greet or smile at the person in front of me as we silently lock eyes – all surged to the forefront of my mind:

The “3 weeks”.

Don’t get me wrong, one of the advantages of the “3 Weeks”, culminating with Tisha B’Av, is to be shaken out of complacency. We could travel through the Jewish year from one Rosh HaShannah to the eve of the following Rosh HaShannah, proverbaily pat ourselves on the back after weighing the preceding years observance of Jewish life – finding ourselves majority on the side merit while beseeching for mercy for the minority of our shortcomings. We could then proceed into the New Year and every year on the same cycle. Tisha B’Av is a disruptor, the litmus test, a reality check – did we really do what we needed to do? If we do not have the Temple, if we are not gathered from exile and have the ability to observe the entirety of the 613 mitzvos – then the answer is and the mirror of honesty we look into reflects a resounding “NO”; we’ve utterly failed despite good and accomplished efforts. Its not about evaluating how well did we live Jewishly but bottom line – did we end our exile? This bitter “failure” creates a fuel for a passionate return to Hashem during the days of Elul, slichos and the 10 Days of Teshuvah.

Despite that “perk” – the images come fast and strong – creating a visceral cringe. Even the Torah readings leading up to the “3 Weeks” seem to re-enforce this foreboding and serve as a preparation for these somber days of historic tragedy:

· Shelach – The sin of the spies & the source of our historic tragedies.
· Korach – the rebellion against Moses.
· Chukas – the death of Miriam & Aaron.
· Balak – the sin of idol worship.

Yet, it needs to be asked – does it really have to be this way? Do we have to resign ourselves to fasting this year as in previous years?

The Rambam (“Maimonides”) writes in his compilation and rulings of Jewish law that “a person should always view the world as evenly balanced – the next mitzvah to be done can tip the scales to bring the world to merit & bring the Redemption.”

Clearly, from a legal perspective – the answer is a resounding: “NO” – we will not have to fast this year if we choose to do something about it.

Do we have to wait for the “litmus test” and the 10 Days of Teshuvah? Is there a way to make a “pre-emptive strike”? What does the Torah empower us to do NOW? What are some of the catalysts based on our Sages recommendations?

· Return to Hashem with a feral intensity in increased learning, prayer, charity and mitzvos observed to the highest standards possible.
· Make a “siyum” during the “9 days” by completing the learning of a Tractate of Talmud.
· Observe Shabbos with accuracy & stringency.
· Learn the Rambam’s laws concerning the Building of the Temple (“Beis HaBechirah”).
· Learn the Prophets concerning the rebuilding of the Temple.
· Actively seek to create unity and peace.
· Perform self-less acts of kindness.

So the choice is really ours to “tip the scales” and there’s an opportunity that stands before us. True, while this choice is offered year round, the “3 weeks” are in actuality an auspicious time. Just as in the month of Nissan our Sages state “In the month of Nissan the Jews were redeemed, so to in the future will they be redeemed.” – similarly the Sages state:

(Yalkut Shimoni, Yermiyahu, 259 ): “The lion [Nevudchanetzar, who is referred to in the Bible as a lion–Yermiyahu 4:7] came on the month of the lion [Av] and destroyed the lion [the Temple, which is referred to in the Bible, especially with regard to the alter, as a lion], in order that the lion [G-d, of Whom is said ‘the lion roars, who shall not fear’–Amos 3:8] come on the month of the lion and rebuild the lion.”

The Rambam also brings the verdict “the days of fasting will be transformed to days of joy”.

So, if you have similar images of Tisha B’Av – let us be rebellious, fight history and use the empowerment of Torah and its mitzvos to bring the complete and true Redemption – NOW!.

Rabbi Welcher on Teshuva on Yom Kippur according to the Rambam and Rabbeinu Yonah

Rabbi Shafier at The Shmuz on The System of Teshuva

Rabbi Moshe Weinberger on Making Every Minute Count

Aish Audio with various Yom Kippur Topics

Friends of ours had bought our five-year old daughter a flowering plant. She was proud of having the responsibility to care for and tend to the plant. A few weeks later, I noticed that the plant was not looking too great. In fact, it looked to be on its last legs. “Atara, what’s going on with your plant?”, I asked. She held her hand to her tiny lips and said “Oops, I forgot to water it this week!” Perhaps I should have used the moment to explain to her the importance of plant care (me, the blackest of the black thumbs?!). Perhaps I should have stressed the character trait of responsibility. But, she was too cute and my cereal was too crunchy for me to take the moment to pass on that parental advice.

About a half hour later, Atara confidently walked up to me, Poland Spring water bottle in hand, and proudly exclaimed “Abba, I poured TWELVE bottles of water on my plant.” Then, she looked at me as if to say “That problem is solved” and confidently walked away to go about the business of coloring, jumping rope or some other activity of great importance. If I had thought she was cute earlier, now she was absolutely delicious. But I knew at that moment that if the plant previously had any remaining chance of survival, it had just been, quite literally, washed out.

Here we stand, before another Yom Kippur. Another year where we, humans that we are, failed to take proper care of our souls and the responsibilities entrusted to us by Hashem. Our souls are thirsty and weak because we have failed to diligently and properly water them throughout the year (and you thought a one day fast was difficult!). We realize our mistakes, we regret our mistakes, we verbalize our mistakes and we resolve to rectify our mistakes. But all too often we attempt to slake our thirsting souls with bottles and bottles of water in a well meaning attempt to make up for the long drought. “I didn’t properly set aside time to learn torah last year, an hour a week is just not enough. This year, I’m going to learn daf yomi, mishna yomi, mishnah berurah yomi, hey, I may even invent a new “yomi” and learn that as well!”

On the surface, it makes sense. We are thirsty and we realize that we should have been drinking all along. But we simply cannot handle all of that water all at once. Overwatering kills more plants than any other cause. We are just setting ourselves up for failure.

What we really need is drip irrigation. Drip irrigation was developed and perfected in Israel. It is the slow, steady application of water directly to the plant’s root zone where the water is most urgently needed. Drip irrigation minimizes water loss and prevents overwatering which eventually chokes off roots and kills the plant. If I’ve realized that an hour a week of learning is not enough, this year I’m going to start learning an extra half an hour a week. After a few months of consistency, after the roots have gotten stronger, they may require a little more water, another fifteen minutes perhaps. And don’t kid yourself into thinking that a drop at a time cannot develop sea changes. Remember the story of Rabbi Akiva who had observed a hole cut clean through a rock, the hole having been formed by the continual dripping of water.

Throughout Selichos and the Yom Kippur service we echo the words of the navi Yezekiel’s promise from Hashem: “I will sprinkle upon you pure waters and you will become purified.” As Hashem does his sprinkling, let us do our own sprinkling: little by little, drop by drop, Spiritual Drip Irrigation. Gemar chasima tovah.

It’s been ages that I’ve written here, so here’s something for Elul.

The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation has an excellent tape series called “Grasp the Gift of Teshuva.” One of the tapes contains the following true story which is also an amazing mashal for teshuva.

During World War II, the Rov of a certain town managed to smuggle a knife with him into the cattle car when he and his kehila were captured by the Nazis. Using the knife, he broke a hole into the cattle car and urged everyone to jump through it.

“It’s your chance at life!” he told the people. “You know where we’re going.”

But the cattle car was speeding along the tracks, and taking the jump meant risking serious injury and possibly death. The people were too scared, so only the Rov took the jump. And he was the only person from his town to survive the war.

The speaker on the tape applied the Rov’s lesson to abandoning the path of sin. We know where sin leads us, and sometimes, we have to take one big jump to get away from it. Doing it might be scary, but not doing it is certain doom. In the long run, the wiser thing is to take the jump.

Of course, every BT in the world knows what it is to take a big jump. We’ve redefined our whole lives. But every BT has also received the advice to go slow, not to take on too much too fast, because that often leads to backsliding. The same principle applies when we’re already frum. Teshuva lasts when taken on in small increments. Instead of working on kavannah in davening overall, we concentrate on one particular tefilla. Instead of going cold turkey on some pet aveira, we gradually wean ourselves from it.

I want to share with you my Elul of two years ago. I had a part-time secretarial job and was spending much of every work day online. When I started, it was just during the down times, but later, it became an addiction. I knew it was wrong, and I felt guilty about it, but I felt I was incapable of going cold turkey. So I decided that for Elul, I would resist any online activity at the office for 15 minutes a day. Very soon, I worked it up to 2 hours a day. And then, instead of visiting my favorite social sites, I began listening to online shiurim.

I’ve often said that Cheshvan is when we get our post-Yom Tov cheshbon. (Leave it to a BT with rudimentary Hebrew to come up with a vort like that.) That Cheshvan, despite these efforts at self-improvement, I was fired. It came as quite a blow because it felt like Hashem hadn’t accepted my little steps toward teshuva.

But teshuva is never worthless. The next job I got was ad writing for Rabbi Berel Wein’s Destiny Foundation. I actually got to earn my living by listening to shiurim – the very thing I was doing illegally at my previous job!

Of course, I still had further to go. I’d made little steps, but the big leap was still to come. And as many of you know, it came about six months later, during Sefirah, with Rabbi Solomon’s anti-Internet drasha. I needed a gadol to give me the push. I was too weak to do it on my own. But the entire experience has taught me a little about how Hashem runs the world. We make changes in Elul, daven for our future in Tishrei, and feel the effects of both the rest of the year. Those little steps toward teshuva in Elul sealed my fate for the big jump I was to make in May. Those little steps build up momentum toward one big, running leap.

May Hashem bless each of us with the strength we need for small steps and big jumps.

Rabbi Dovid Schwartz

The significance of this time of the year is that it corresponds to the 40 day period beginning on 1 Elul and culminating on 10 Tishrei (AKA Yom Kippur) when Moshe, ascending again to heaven, mounted the national T’shuva effort of K’lal Yisroel to atone for the sin of the Golden Calf.

At this writing we are more than halfway through this annual period of regret, remorse and reconciliation. In preparing myself both for the Days of Awe and for presenting my upcoming presentations at the Jewish Heritage Center I’ve been wrestling with some nettlesome questions about forgiveness that, although basic, are still (at least to me) quite unclear. I’d like to share some of these with you:

Our sages teach us that T’shuva motivated by fear /awe transforms (diminishes) premeditated sins into unintentional ones and that T’shuva motivated by love transforms premeditated sins to z’chuyos (something positive and meritorious). Is there a T’shuva that evokes more than the former but less than the latter i.e. that “wipes the record clean” and, if so, as awe and love seem to cover the entire possible gamut of motivations, what type of motivation to T’shuva is left that might evoke a Divine “wipes the record clean” response?

We also know that we needn’t be more saintly than G-d. A plank in our theological platform is that G-d, though infinitely forgiving and merciful, is not a vatran, one who unilaterally absolves debts without cause nor being asked. Yet we routinely recite a prayer before the bedtime Sh’ma and before Kol Nidreh (T’filas zakah) in which we extend forgiveness to those who have slighted or hurt us without them even having apologized. How can we be (apparently) more forgiving than G-d?

Can humans forgive AND forget or is forgiving and remembering sufficient? Can interpersonal T’shuva be motivated by anything other than love? (I speak of T’shuva for sins committed against peers not those committed against parents and/ or Talmidei Khakohmim). If so, is it possible for mere human beings to aspire to an imitatio dei http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imitatio_dei
approximation transforming premeditated sins to something positive and meritorious?

When asking/ begging forgiveness should we aspire to achieve a level of “forgiven but not forgotten” or to achieve a level of “forgotten”, or, even transforming premeditated sins to something positive?

Are interpersonal mitzvahs (bein odom l’khaveiro) really a separate and distinct category (intuitively I know that they are) or are they just another form of bein Odom l’mokom (between persons and G-d)?

Allow me to flesh out my conundrum; There is a halakha in the laws of honoring parents that states that one must honor a step-parent (in a parental kind of way) but only during the lifetime of the biological parent. Once the biological parent passes away no special honor, love, awe or respect need be given to the step-parent above and beyond that of other Jews (all hakoras hatov=gratitude obligations being equal). The legal theory behind this is obvious. The extraordinary honor due a step parent is only an adjunct of the extraordinary honor due a biological parent. It is presumed that the biological parent wants the child to accord extraordinary honor to the step-parent. Absent the will of the biological parent there is no compelling reason to treat the step-parent differently than anyone else.

So, to reiterate my question, do we have and fulfill interpersonal mitzvahs because the other person’s Jewishness or humanity demands as much? Or because G-d’s will is that we do so? To say the former is to skirt dangerously close to secular humanism while to affirm the latter is to diminish “loving ones fellow” to the same moral plane as the mitzvos that demand ethical treatment of animals and plants.

Just some food for Elul thought.

Note: Rabbi Schwartz is giving a series on Gaining and Granting Forgiveness at the Jewish Heritage Center, beginning on Wednesday, Sept 5th at 8:00 PM at the JHC – 68-29 Main Street Flushing. Classes will also be held on Sept 10th, 17th and 24th. Admission is free with an RSVP to 1-888-4Judaism (458-3427) or email series@thejhc.com and $5 at the door.

Sometime back Ezzie sent us this post from a frequent guest contributor to his site. I believe the post was also up for a JIB Award.

By Pobodys Nerfect
The following is an essay that I wrote for English class, on the topic, “Growing Up.” Enjoy.

Many people have a hard time digesting the following information about my past, but I guarantee it is no jest. Despite my current appearance as a happy, religious, and overall normal young adult, my turbulent teenage years saw me as an angry and rebellious punk. For some, the most shocking aspect of my transformation is that I speak about it readily; they expect a closed attitude of, “Let history remain history and move on.” However, I feel differently. Though my past may conjure up some unpleasant memories, I have made a conscious decision to learn from my experiences and use the lessons to better my present and my future.

During my early high-school years, I hated everything Judaism represented, mostly because it had been misrepresented to me. Many teachers refused to acknowledge my questions on the existence of G-d or explain the traditions we were being instructed to practice. My persistence in questioning eventually rewarded me with answers, and I am ever thankful to the patient few who guided me in the proper direction. The truly influential people in my life were the ones who never forced their beliefs on me, allowing me to instead come to my own realizations. What affected me perhaps the most was that I saw my mentors apply the principles they were teaching into their own lives. I anticipate the day when I can use the knowledge and insights I gained through my journey to help others who are seeking the truth.

The change in my attitude towards Judaism brought about a change in my outer appearance as well. My wardrobe back then was very black- right down to my nail polish and spiked leather bracelet. Like most teenagers, I was expressing myself through clothing. My goal was to convey to the world that I was displeased with everything life had to offer. Since my spiritual metamorphosis, my closet has also morphed into a more conservative, button-down blouse and kick-pleated skirt style. Due to my drastic change, I that people would be changing their mental judgments of me. This brought me to the realization that dressing as an observant Jew is a responsibility. My future actions would be stereotyped as typical of Orthodox Jewry, whether that became my objective or not. It is my hope that I can accurately represent my people and my faith before a judging world.

Perhaps the most important discovery I made as a teenager was about the true path to happiness. I spent much of my punk stage miserable that my life wasn’t perfect. I blamed my unhappiness on the dysfunctions of my family and on my own character flaws. What I didn’t realize was that I was bringing about my own sadness; I was not allowing myself to become happy. Happiness requires constant effort and self-control to keep from thinking depressing thoughts. That might be to be a lifetime battle, but I am confident I will succeed.

To quote the character Rafiki from Disney’s The Lion King, “Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” My experiences as a teenage punk helped form the person I am today. The journey is not over, but I hope to take the lessons I’ve acquired with me as I struggle to soar higher.

We often think of Rosh Hashanah as leading up to Yom Kippur, one stage in a progression leading to that awesome day. While that’s true, on a deeper level there’s a contrast between the two days which has a great relevancy for ba’alei teshuva. The two days illustrate two different ways to serve G-d, and understanding the difference is important.

If we had to pick one person who most represents Rosh Hashanah, we would pick Avraham. On both Rosh Hashanah mornings we read about his challenges with Hagar and Ishmael, and his almost unearthly demonstration of belief in G-d when he’s ready to bring Yitzhak as a sacrifice in the Akeidah. And if there’s one person who most represents Yom Kippur, it’s Yonah, as we read his story on Yom Kippur afternoon.

Avraham and Yonah had significantly different ways of following Hashem. For Avraham, when G-d asks him to do the seemingly impossible and bring his son as a human sacrifice, he replies Hineni – here I am, I’m ready to do Your complete bidding. No matter how hard the task, Avraham puts his complete faith in Hashem and is ready to follow Him to the ends of the earth.
Read more Heavyweight Fight Of All Time: Avraham Vs. Yonah ›

Repentence/Reconnecting, Charity, Prayer…

Time has slipped forward while we were barely looking and the great and holy days of awe are upon us. That great and holy time when we crown the King, the King of Kings, and he judges his nation, his people, and the world.

The awesome moment, the awesome words, who will live and who will die… spills from our lips.

Everyone says there is This World and the World to Come. We believe that the World to Come exists. It could be that This World also exists – somewhere. But here? From the suffering everyone goes through the whole time, it would appear that this is Gehenim. (Jewish purgatory)” – Rabbi Nachman of Breslov in Likutey Moharan 2:119.

I do not know if my teshuvah, repentence and reconnecting to Hashem, has been acceptable or even if it’s truly teshuvah. Perhaps it’s unworthy of consideration by the King. I do not know if my tefillah, if my prayers, are appropriate, had the proper concentration for even a moment, or even worth
listening to.

But I know I can take a dollar or shekel or pound or euro and alleviate someone else’s suffering, if only for a few moments.
Read more Teshuvah, Tzedakah, Tefillah ›

As Rosh Hashana davening concluded, I once again felt an ambivalence of relief that I made it through the lengthy tefillos and contentment that for once during the year, I reached down into the depths of my neshama and attempted to spiritually connect with Avinu v’Malkeinu.

Rosh Hashana has always been the most difficult day for me – and that includes Yom Kippur. On Yom Kippur, it’s all about my foibles, my inadequacies and my abject failures. The person I am today, as an individual, a husband, a father and above all, a Jew, is completely exposed to the Borei Olam. And to the extent that I can articulate the viduy with kavanah and sincerity, I have bitachon that I will indeed be forgiven if for no other reason than He loves me. I certainly don’t intend to trivialize my aveiros, but He’s forgiven us so many times since Adam HaRishon and for far greater aveiros than mine, there’s no reason to think now will be different. Regardless of what we’ve done or failed to do, He still loves us and protects us. Rosh Hashana, however, is an entirely separate matter.

Honestly, I dread Rosh Hashana. Part of it, of course, is the long davening. But the trepidation I feel even before we begin blowing shofar on Rosh Chodesh Elul is rooted in the absence of that which embodies Yom Kippur. It’s not about kapora. It’s not even all about teshuva. Sure, we’re obligated to begin the teshuva process. But it is not about me, or at least not the person I am today. It’s about the person I can, and should, become tomorrow. Who will I be during the coming year? It is taught that after a hundred and twenty years, one of the questions we will be confronted with isn’t why we weren’t as great as Moshe Rabbeinu, but why we weren’t as great as our own selves. That sends shivers down my spine. Each year, I worry whether I will actualize the potential that Hashem knows I possess and expects of me? And each year like the year before it, I fear that I will fail. Standing before HaKodesh Borochu in the same place I was last year is terrifying. What will I say? How will I know whether He’ll accept me? Worse yet, given my track record, what exactly do I say to persuade Him that I am worth His taking another chance on me?

Rabbi Mordechai Rhine, a Rav in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, writes a weekly Torah “Parsha Message.” As Musaf concluded on the Second Day, I read his Rosh Hashana message in which he recounted a moving and inspiring story. A young boy ran away from home. Years later, having regretted his rash decision, he wanted to return home to his parents but was unsure if they would accept him so he decided to write them a letter. He wrote, “Dear Mom and Dad, I know that I must have hurt you very much when I ran away. I would like to come back but I will understand it if you don’t want me to. So here is what I ask. If you would like me to come back, please place a kerchief on the apple tree in the backyard. When I pass by on the train, I will be able to see the tree. If the kerchief is there, I will get off at the next stop and come home. If not, I will understand and just continue on my way.” Several days later, the young man boarded a train to his hometown. As the train got closer to his home, he sensed a fear beginning to overtake him. What if his parents didn’t want him back? What if the kerchief was not tied on the apple tree? As the train neared the final bend before the backyard would come into view, the young man couldn’t bear to look. He turned to his seatmate and said, “Excuse me sir, but can you do me a favor. As we turn the bend, can you look out for the big apple tree in the yard? Just glance at it and tell me if there is a kerchief hanging from its branches.” The seatmate, unable to figure out why the young man was so agitated about a kerchief, graciously agreed to look. As the train turned the corner and the tree came into view, the seatmate gave a gasp. “What is it?” the young man asked, “Is there a kerchief there or not?” Those seconds seemed like hours to the young man. Finally, the seatmate responded, “Who would have thought? The whole tree is adorned with kerchiefs.”

With tears welling up in my eyes, I finally achieved clarity on the ambivalence that had eluded me all these years. Hashem has far more emuna in me than I do in myself. I have no doubt that He will always do His part, because He loves me and knows what’s best for me and my family. And above all, He believes in me. The young man that couldn’t bear to look at the tree was, at least in his own mind, that same little boy who had run away years before. To his parents though, he was anything but. Everyday, we’re running. Running to work, running at work, running home, running at home, running to bed and running to do it all over again. Some run faster than others and some run farther. But very few of us run toward Hashem. After an entire year of running, we arrive at Rosh Hashana and can’t bear to look for the kerchief because all we see is that we’re in the same place we were last year. We can’t, or don’t, see ourselves as any different and can easily understand if He won’t either. And yet, to Him we are neither the same person nor are we in the same place as last year. He clearly sees where we were yesterday, last week, last month and last year. If we’re lucky, we might recognize our accomplishments and improvements over ten, twenty or thirty years. But for that ever so slight, even microscopic, difference He sees in us, we’re still worth the world to Him.

May we all be granted a G’mar Chasima Tova, a gut g’bentched yohr and the strength to spend Atzeres Yemai Teshuva implementing even the most modest measures that will allow us to be zoche to stand before HaKodesh Borochu in a better place next year.

Last August, my wife and I decided to use the Amusement Park tickets a client had given me to take our kids for an end of the summer trip. Since there is a fair amount of driving involved, I brought the van in for an oil change and a fluid check. When I came back to pick up the van, the mechanic advised that the front brake pads were alright for now but would need replacement shortly. So, what else is new, you bring in the car for wiper blades and they tell you that you need a new transmission!

A few weeks later, I noticed that my right front tire was low and when I pulled into the gas station to put some air in, I noticed a nail in the tire. I added the air and figured I would take care of the tire the next day. The next morning the tire was fine as the head of the nail, which is much wider than the point, seemed to have sealed off the hole. As such, I figured I’d let my luck ride (pun intended) and leave the tire for the time being (don’t try this at home!).

Motzei shabbos, a few weeks later, we were involved in a post-Hurricane Katrina clothing and home furnishing drive for members of the displaced New Orleans Jewish community. Our home was the drop off point for the neighborhood and we, baruch hashem, had an entire basement full of clothing, housewares, judaica, school supplies, toys, games, hats, furniture, bicycles, etc. A number of volunteers were busy boxing and labeling the items when they ran out of Sharpies and packing tape. I decided to let my wife drive us to the store since she was still practicing for her long awaited road test. She did great. The only problem was that when she pulled into the parking spot at the store, we heard that slow hissssssssss of trapped air rushing to freedom. I artfully readjusted the van so that the part of the tire with the nail in it was flush to the ground hoping that the weight of the van would push the head of the nail tightly against the hole. It seemed to have worked well enough to get us home.
Read more The Nail that Saved Her Life ›

By Gregg Schwartz

For me personally, the most difficult part of becoming religious was all the dogma associated with it. I always considered myself a “spiritual” person, but have had trouble connecting to all the ritual whose purpose I couldn’t find. I know we are told that when our ancestors received the torah, they said na’ase v’nishma. We will do, and then we will hear; but in truth, this concept doesnt work for everyone.

I was and continue to be stubborn. You couldn’t get me to eat my vegetables, even if you said G-d told me too, simply because I didn’t like them. I’ve tried my whole life to be different, and not conform, and conforming to a group and rules is very trying for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE wearing suits, and I will be the ONLY one in shul not wearing a suit.

So now, getting back to spirituality and orthodox dogma, I made a conscious decision not to take anything on unless I can make it meaningful to me, and marry it to my spirituality. I know that the sages say that it is better to go through the motions, than not do anything at all, but my approach is on the stubborn side. It took me years to take on mitzvahs, and I’m talking about simple ones, not because I couldnt do them, rather I needed to find meaning in them first. I recently heard a lecture from Rabbi Jacobson, and he gave a parable that hit me like chulent at 2PM (if anyone uses that phrase, give credit to Big G).
Read more The Nightingale ›

For years I have wondered what the connection was between chapter 27 of Tehillim (L’Dovid Hashem Ohree) and the month of Elul. I could not understand what the underlying message was. I have read numerous explanations, however it was only yesterday when I finally discovered an explanation that satisfied me.

During the month of Elul we take upon ourselves new mitzvos and concrete ways that we will be better in order to properly prepare for Rosh Hashana. Immediately after we take this step forward, obstacles arise and people may notice that we are “changing” and try to impede our personal growth.

Beginning Rosh Chodesh Elul we say chapter 27 of Tehillim after davening. In the last pasuk (27:14) we are given our daily dose of encouragement; Hashem reminds us that He recognizes our latest struggle and tells us not to lose our resolve:

“Hope for Hashem, be strong and He will give your heart courage, and hope for Hashem.”

A Simple Jew

As a kid, my family would spend summers in the Catskill Mountains in upstate New York. It was the best time of the year for a city kid: fresh air, freedom and mosquitoes. Well, two out of three ain’t bad. One summer, I must have been fifteen, I worked as a Counselor In Training for five year-olds at a day camp. I was technically too young to be a CIT but my father was the accountant for the owners and I reaped the benefits.

On Sunday mornings, while my mother slept in, my father would drive my younger brother and me to Monticello to do the weekly shopping. My father was a coupon clipper and he would flip through his plastic red coupon box as we trolled the aisles of Shop Rite. Before heading home, we would make the obligatory stop at Katz’s kosher bakery for delicious gooey cakes and pastries freshly baked and packaged in Katz’s signature pink boxes. (A single bite of one of those chocolate custard donuts could have easily clogged an artery)

One Sunday morning, my brother and I saw a sign-up table for a 10k race the following Sunday (that’s 6.2 miles for the metrically challenged among us). The race was called “The Monster”. My brother and I decided that it would be cool to run the race and since the funds being raised were going to benefit children with Cerebral Palsy we’d get a good deed out of it as well. We signed up for the race and my father ponied up the registration fees. Unfortunately for him, they didn’t take coupons!

Now, a race doesn’t get called “The Monster” for nothing. The Monster was disproportionately uphill which gave rise to its notoriety as one of the most grueling races in the county. That fact made little impression on my brother and me. Heck, we were teenagers, the entire race could have been 90 degrees straight up Mt. Kilimanjaro and we wouldn’t have flinched. We didn’t think to train at all in the little time left before the race (unless you count the hours I spent running after my campers each day). We didn’t even think to buy a decent pair of running shoes. And so, before you know it, Sunday rolled around and we showed up on Main Street in Monticello in high-top New Balance basketball sneakers! We dutifully pinned our numbers on our shirts and headed to the starting line.

The race started out just fine as we proudly kept pace with the veteran runners at the front of the pack. All was still going well about a half mile in as we gratefully grabbed the sweating cups offered at the first water station. About a mile in, things began to change. For a race that was disproportionately uphill, things were going downhill fast. For some unexplained reason, my high-top basketball shoes, which had served me so well on the basketball court, began to fail me. They were becoming increasingly heavier, itchier and wetter. I might just as well have been running the race in snowshoes! For some other inexplicable reason the water stations were becoming spaced out at light year intervals. Hey, this is not so simple, I began to think. At some point, I began walking and shortly thereafter nearly half-crawling. Oh, if only I could wring out my socks for a few precious sips of water.

When it finally appeared that I was nearing the end of the race, there was a steep downhill incline that extended all the way to the finish line. After all of that up-hill climbing it was comforting to know that what goes up still must come down. As I reached the hill, I broke out into a full-fledged sprint laughingly leaving the other, more properly paced runners in my dust. Such is the foolish pride of youth that refuses to watch others actually do something better and smarter than oneself.

That evening, The Monster safely behind us, my brother and I sprawled out on the deck lounge chairs to watch the Perseid meteor shower. The Perseid meteor shower is the most prevalent meteor shower observable from the Northern hemisphere. On a clear, dark night you can see scores of “shooting stars” within an hour! And it was a crystal clear night with a waning moon and no sign of the bright lights we had left behind in the city since Memorial day. Truly awesome. We lay there, in our hooded race sweatshirts, for hours. Partially because we had never seen anything so beautiful in our lives but mostly because we couldn’t move our legs!

For the next two weeks, my muscles were so fatigued that I could barely walk. Each morning presented a new challenge to get out of bed and climb on to the bus for work. Every day I looked forward to arts & crafts when I was given a 45 minute break. I would lie down on the playground ride that the kids affectionately called the “vomit wheel” grateful for the opportunity to be off my feet.

Elul presents us with the opportunity to begin our preparations for Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. Walking in to these holy days without preparation is not recommended. Squeezing teshuvah in to those few hours spent in shul on these days is simply not enough. You can’t run a 10K race without training and you can’t squeeze a year’s worth of teshuvah into three days. And so, we have been given a mandatory training period called Elul. An entire month set aside to allow us to begin our introspection and prepare and pace ourselves for the big days–Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. As with exercise, it’s important to start slow, warming up and steadily increasing both in intensity and duration so that by the time the Yomim Noraim arrive, we will be in proper shape for them.

Remember: Showing up in sneakers on Yom Kippur is a good move but trying to run a 10K race in high top basketball sneakers is bound to lead to failure.

Tonight begins Rosh Chodesh Elul, opening day of the Teshuva season. Even for BTs who have made amazing changes in the past, real Teshuva is a challenge. A major problem is that after the initial BT phase we fall into unhealthy habits in our observance, and habits take time and effort to break. This is why it makes sense to start our Teshuva program on Rosh Chodesh, because it takes between 30 and 40 days to effect a change in habit. Here are some ideas to help in the areas of Torah, Chesed and Avodah.

In Torah, we often feel comfortable with the amount of Torah we learn each week. Deep down we know that we should be learning more, but we have very good execuses: we have such busy schedules, we have many other responsibilities, Hashem doesn’t expect us to know everything and since we already know less then everything – we’re fulfilling our learning requirements. An idea here is to take on a little more learning by adding a 5-10 minutes seder in a new sefer everyday. Pick something you really want to learn. The key is to make this a regular practice, each and every day.

In chesed (lovingkindness), we often fail to appreciate the divinity and greatness inherent in every human being. This manifests itself in thinking negatively about people, speaking loshon hora and hurting people with words. A way of changing this is to approach each person with two questions, “What can I learn from this person?” and “What can I give to this person?”. It also helps to keep in mind that giving can be easily accomplished through a compliment, a supportive word or a true show of concern.

In Avodah such as prayer and performing mitzvos. the major impediment is lack of kavanna which results in us rushing through our mitzvos and not achieving the full benefits of their performance. A key here is to stop a second before the prayer, brocha or the mitzvah and think about what we’re doing. Three things to have in mind:

1) Hashem has commanded the performance of the mitzvah
2) We are the subject of the command
3) We are performing this mitzvah in fulfillment of the command

It’s a simple formula to keep in mind and it can make a tremendous change in our performance in prayer, brochas and mitzvos.

May we all be successful in our Teshuva efforts, and may our collective efforts help bring the coming of Moshiach, speedily in our days.

For several weeks, Mark has been asking me to write a follow-up on my decision to disable my web browser, but I didn’t have anything deep or inspiring to say. All I could think of is that I miss it. This post will be nothing more than a dissertation on that theme, but at the moment I’m inspired to write, and I’m writing the way I would for my personal blog, which means I’m going to tell you about my day.

Today I worked until 5:00 pm, which is unusual for me. I work around my kids’ schedule, which means I usually have to be home by 3:30. Because it’s summer time, though, and because my husband took my kids on an outing, I was able to work like a full-timer today, and I must say, it’s exhausting.

But tonight I have a treat. My husband and kids will be out till very late, so I’m on my own and the house is quiet. Sure, I could catch up on my housework, but I could do that tomorrow, too. I thought of a better plan while walking home from work: I could go to the public library and use the Internet! With the kids home so much in the summer, I don’t have many opportunities to do so. I savored the idea on my half-hour walk home.
Read more Life without a Web Browser ›

In times of trouble, we are supposed to turn to Hashem in prayer. But it would seem from the Gemara that in times like today, Hashem also asks of us to do Teshuva, to show through our thought, speech and actions that we want to come closer to Him. Most people suggest small achievable goals such as:
1) Increasing Kavannah in one Bracha (Avodah)
2) Learning 10 minutes extra (Torah)
3) Thinking or saying something nice about another person (Gemillas Chasadim)

Maybe people have other ideas (which they might want to add in the comments), but I think that if the Beyond BT readership/community takes another step in the direction of Teshuva it can only serve to strengthen the entire Klal.

Rabbi Brody has been posting emails of steps people have been taking and he graciously permitted us to repost them here.

Please feel free to add any steps you are taking in the comments below (anonymously if you prefer).

As Rabbi Brody points out:

More mitzva commitments needed: This is no time to become lax. Please urge your family and friends to answer the Melitzer Rebbe’s call to strengthen one mitzva; tshuva doesn’t mean revolutionizing our lives – it means becoming a little bit better and getting a little closer to Hashem than we were yesterday. Am Yisroel needs your help!

*MM is enrolling in a yeshiva for Baalei Tshuva

*RT and SS have committed to purchasing and wearing tefillin

*MT promises to learn Torah for a half hour before praying in the morning

*Rick and his wife Susie have committed to refrain from shellfish and unkosher meat

*Janet and husband Rob will no longer eat in unkosher restaurants

*Budd G commits to mikva once a week

*3 people commit to learning Tanya every day

*5 more people commit to saying Tikkun Klali every day

*8 more people commit to guarding their tongue and learning the laws of Shmiras HaLashon

*Rivka and her study class of 8 women in Boro Park commit to loving every Jew

*Susan from the West Coast commits to covering her hair

*Jon from London commits to learning for two hours a week with a bedridden person

*Yuval and his wife Anat in Florida commit to bringing challas and wine to hospitalized Jews

*4 more people commit to daily Hitbodedut (Personal prayer sessions)

*W in Maryland and CF in Wahington DC bought sheitelach (hair covering) for the first time

*12 commit to saying Tikkun Klali daily

*4 will begin saying Tikkun Chatzot

*6 people promise to pray with more intent

*YC has bought an electric razor and has thrown away his straight razor

*5 more people commit to saying Perek Shira

*Ruth, Naomi, and Debbie commit to saying Mincha daily

*LH promises to pray in a minyan in the morning

*The Meyer family in California promises to move their three children into Jewish day schools

* Ilan from Argentina commits to saying Tikkun Chatzot, the powerful midnight lamentation of our holy Temple and the diaspora

*Matityahu from Argentina commits to immersing in mikva once a week and say Tikkun Klali every day

*Eliezer Shlomo from the USA commits to arriving at shul on time

*ES, RB, YB, YN, and HW commit to saying Psalms every day

*11 people have committed to saying Perek Shira for 40 days consecutively

*YK has committed to distributing 1000 books of Psalms to Israeli soldiers

*38 members of the M congregation in Brooklyn have committed not to chatter during prayer services – this is a very wonderful and cogent commitment.

*4 more women have committed to dress more modestly.

*Hair covering – AP, RS, and Anonymous in USA

*Tefillin – Andy in South Africa, Reuven in USA

*17 more people have committed to learn the laws of Improper speech and/or to refrain from Loshon Haro

*6 more women have committed to improving their modesty of dress

*3 more people have committed to opening their homes to guests

*2 people have committed to stop talking about the generation’s religious leaders

*4 more people have committed to praying in a minyan

*DR in Arkansas and SA in Alabama have accepted the 7 Noahide mitzvas and commit to strengthening their faith in Hashem

*JD, RB, and RS in Maryland, Colorado, and Kansas are now enlisting the commitments of their own community members

*MP commits to saying Tikkun Klali every day

*JB commits to helping crippled people put on tefillin every day

*Zecharia in Mexico has committed to learning the laws of Sabbath observance

*Ken B. has committed to overcome anger

*RB and KB have committed to saying Tikkun Chatzos

*Janet in California and Nechama in NYC have committed to organizing study groups for women

*Arlene in Virginia has committed to covering her hair

*The Goldman family of Southern USA has committed to stop swimming at mixed pools and beaches

*Marv L. commits to giving a full 10% of his net earnings to charity

*The Levy family of UK/Israel – Tikva (age 3) pledges to do nice things, Michal (age 5) promises to say Shma every night, dad Ray (34) will try to be more careful about saying his blessings, and mom Katrin is opening her home to guests from bombed areas

*Charlene from British Columbia commits not only to the 7 Noahide mitzvas, but to saying an entire book of Tehillim every day

*Amanda commits to 15 minutes of hisbodedus a day

*Craig from Ohio commits to guard his tongue from slander and gossip

*PW from Texas is switching from a staright razor to an electric razor, and will do his best to improve his Sabbath observance

*TS in London, MD in Bet Shemesh, and RU in Jerusalem have promised to improve their shmiras eynayim

*SL in Denver commits to learning Daf Yomi – a page a day of Gemorra

*MA in Silver Spring, Md. promises not to drive on Shabbos any more

*The Turner family in Long Island promises not to watch TV on Shabbos any more

*Ron in Toronto, Alan from Baltimore, and RT from New Jersey have committed to begin wearing tzitzis

* Ira from Rockville, Maryland promises not to eat any more pork

*Charlotte from Rhode Island pledges not to eat any more pork or shellfish

*JN and her husband RN pledge to observe the laws of mikva

*Eugene from South Africa pledges to avoid misleading his customers

*Donna from Colorado pledges to separate milk and meat in her kitchen

*Howard from LA pledges to give charity every day

*Marty and his wife Gloria from NYC promise to attend a Judaism seminar

*Heather from Colorado commits to an hour of personal prayer every day

*The Cohen family of Herzlia has committed to host at least four guests for Shabbos, particularly soldiers that don’t have families in Israel.

*The Rubin family of Bet Shemesh have committed to bake challas for at least three poor families.

*TS of London will do his best to say Birkas HaMazon with intent, and other blessings too.

*CR, MP, MZ, Yehudit Weiss, and RLieberman of the USA will be learning “Shmiras HaLashon” and organizing study groups among their friends and neighbors.

*YG’s father, Andrew S and TT of the UK have committed to tefillin, together with BD in North Carolina and Doug Furie in California

*ADP is a Noahide who will be mobilizing other Noahides in the strengthening of the 7 Noahide Mitzvas.

*ML, RB, SD, and EK of the USA will begin learning Mishnayos.

*Robert Solomon of Maryland will add 15 minutes a day Halacha learning to his schedule, and calls on everyone to eat 3 meals with bread on Shabbos, to be protected from the turmoil of Gog & Magog as promised by our sages.

*BL, ML, UC, YP, TR, and RL have committed to make a stronger effort to pray in a minyan.

*Marge in Dallas covered her hair for the first time today.

*Arthur in Atlanta has committed to learn The Trail to Tranquility and to work on destroying his anger.

*DL in Winnipeg, Canada will try his best to improve his shmiras eynayim.

*The Moore family, California (not Jewish) – have taken upon themselves the 7 Noahide mitzvas

*A.D. in London has agreed to begin shaving with an electric razor

*Breslever has agreed to distribute 500 emuna CDs in Western Canada: Rav Shalom Arush sends special blessings to Breslever as well as to the powerhouse commandos of London – YG and DD – who are bombarding the Yetzer with 1000 CD missiles with emuna warheads. Rav Shalom says that if a Katyusha can threaten lives, an emuna CD can save lives.

*The R. family in Silver Spring, Maryland has committed to mikva and family purity

*The JL family of Atlanta has agreed not to drive any more on Shabbos, and to try their best to become full Shomrei Shabbos

*Karen of Kansas City and Lois of LA have committed to begin covering their hair

*Tens of people in Monsey, Brooklyn, and Toronto have consented to add to their Torah learning and/or to their daily prayers

*More than a dozen letters mentioned that they’ll try to do a full hour of hitbodedut

Updated

*12 more people have committed to saying Tehillim

*10 more people have committed to saying Tikkun Klali every day

*3 more families have committed to mikva and family purity

*2 families have committed to discontinuing birth control

*7 more people pledge to pray with more intent

*GG and GI pledge to spread hundreds of Emuna CDs in the NYC area

*AJ promises to be more patient with her husband

*HOT! 35 more children pledge to say Shma at night (according to their parents)

*Uri pledges to eat kosher food

*Vladimir from Brooklyn, born in Russia and never had a circumcision, now pledges to have a bris

*17 more people pledge to increase their Torah learning

*DO and ES pledge tyo strengthen their shmiras eynayim

*5 more people pledge to say Tikkun Chatzot daily

*8 more people pledge to say Perek Shira daily

*4 more people pledge to spend at least 30 minutes daily in personal prayer (hisbodedus)

*The R. family from Haifa plans to kosher their kitchen and to give 10% of their salary to charity every month

*YJ, GF, and ED pledge to wear tzitzis

*5 more people have promised to wear tefillin daily

*MR in Miami pledges to cover her hair

*7 people pledge to start their own mitzva commitment campaigns within their communities

*Don from Richmond pledges to give more respect to his inlaws

*Alex pledges to cherish and respect his wife more

*The Rosenthal children from the UK pledge to respect their parents more

Updated 7/19

*Vera from Denver writes, “I promise not to yell at my husband; for me, that’s harder than fasting for three days in a row. Anything for Israel…”

*Eliezer promises to learn Chumash 2 mikra/ 1 targum every week

*Kenton, a Cherokee Indian from Oklahoma, accepts the 7 Noahide mitzvas and promises to say Tehillim and Perek Shira every day

*Gil, USA – Tikkun Chatzot

*PG, RS, DW – Shmiras Eynaim

*MC from Toronto pledges to approach 3 Jews a week about tefillin, and to beef up his learning and davening, including Psalms, Rambam, Tanya, and Chumash

*Yaakov from USA is offering free Shabbos candles to everyone that commits – contact yaakovshalom(at)comcast.net

*Telephone 718-301-5940 is giving out free copies of Tikkun Klali (in Israel call 02-622-2603)

* www.briskodesh.org is giving out free ebooks for shmiras habris

*Mordechai and Yosef pledge to clean up their room every day to help mommy

*2 year-old Efraim pledges to eat more cake for Israel

*16 pre-Bat mitzva girls pledge to say Tehillim

*DD, HP, and YB pledge to do as much hisbodedus as they can

*The Turner family of the USA pledges to observe the Sabbath

*GK pledges to teach his young children “Modeh Ani”

*GV in Dallas pledges to give a tithe to charity and to deal honestly in business

*MR in Tulsa and GV in Dallas pledge to treat others nicely

*Rochelle in Long Island pledges to wear knee-highs and to lower the length of her skirts

*Jackie in Baton Rouge pledges to refrain from cursing

*Robert in Illinois pledges to learn more Torah and surf less internet

*Anonymous pledges to go cold turkey on pornography and to try and make tshuva

*TG plans to eat only kosher meat

*Sora Aviva is shortening the length of her shaitels

*ES commits to Tehillim, Shma, learning Torah, patience, loving fellow man, and eating kosher meat

KM – will participate in public fasts and pledges to wear tefillin every day

*BA from Southfield, Mi. pledges to judge others fairly

*Lawrence is strengthening his intent in prayer

*SJ commits to learning the laws of the Beis HaMikdash

*AN commits to daily hitbodedut

*DB pledges to say Tikkun Klali every day

*SA pledges to pray 15 minutes a day for the safety of Israel’s soldiers, and another 15 minutes a day for Hashem to redeem the people of Israel

*Shosh plans to strengthen her shmiras halashon

*Ilana from Minneapolis is putting together a study group to strengthen emuna

*Randy from Texas pledges to pray in a minyan at least on Shabbas, and he’ll try in the middle of the week

*Moshe from Brooklyn pledges to say Kaddish for one whole year, for all those deceased souls that don’t have anyone saying Kaddish for them

*Genya Forman commits to the mitzva of baking challas

*Jim in Kansas commits to giving more charity

*Mordechai Hillel Grant (7) commits to saying Tehillim with his tatty every day

*Yankele and his wife (London, UK) commit to learning halacha together every day

*BA has just given up Jews for J and commits to attending an Aish HaTora seminar

*Mike K in DC commits to less sleep and more Torah learning

Updated 7/22/06

RZ, Silver Spring, Md. – shmiras eynaim

*GJ, New Jersey – daf yomi

*TH, Michigan; Shapiro family, Ontario – Tikkun Klali

*Dome family, London – have organized a shiur in Likutei Moharan in their home

*Yona from Tel Aviv is changing her wardrobe and making complete tshuva including Shabbos and Kashrus

*Dan from LA will give more charity

*HC from Australia has enrolled in a Yeshiva for BT’s

*The OU and Young Israel are organizing round-the-clock Torah learning – this is wonderful news!

*Gwen Davis, Alabama – Krias Shma and Tehillim

*Folke Holtz, Sweden – praying Amida every day

*Eliezer B, USA – will learn halacha every day

*Rodney and Cinthia, USA – koshering their kitchen

*Susie S, Canada – will begin covering her hair

*Howard S, Canada – will begin praying in a minyan every morning

*Dr. Mark B. will now close his dental clinic on Shabbat

*The Golman family is transferring their 2 youngest children into Torah schools

*Zvi F will say Shir Hashirim every Fri. afternoon before Shabbat

*June F. in Wahington State commits to lighting Shabbat candles

*Arnold C. commits to daily prayer with tefillin

*AV and PV from Upstate NY commit to daily hisbodedus