It’s not difficult to sympathize with the skeptics who questioned the ability of Avrohom Mordechai Altar, then still a teenager, to succeed his father as leader of the Gerrer Chassidim, possibly the most influential Torah community in Poland at the end of the 19th century. But the young scholar, who would grow up to become a great rebbe and author of the Imrei Emes, answered his critics with the following parable.
Read more Carrying My Children on My Shoulders
Monthly Archives: January 2006
Reverse Discrimination in Dating
A friend of mine who is also a BT was recently dating a guy who was frum from birth. She really liked his personality, his enthusiasm and his sense of humor. There seemed to be a lot going for them as a couple, which is why they were introduced in the first place. But she had a real problem relating to him on one level – he had never had much to do with the secular world, had never had secular or non-Jewish relatives; and that was a very important part of her life.
My friend is very close with her non-religious family. She grew up with some frum friends and a lot of non-frum and non-Jewish ones, many of whom she is still in touch with. She thinks it’s extremely important that whoever she marries feels comfortable going to her family for non-religious holidays, occasional Shabbosim and family events.
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Crisis in Israel
Does everyone know what is going on here in Israel? The crisis that has come to Klal Yisrael? If you are unaware –Prime Minister Sharon is in Hadassah Hospital, having suffered two strokes and massive inter-cranial bleeding. He is on life support. Ehud Olmert (!) is now Interim Prime Minister. Our enemies are rejoicing – They are saying that this as a gift from G-d. This is a very crucial and dangerous time for Eretz Israel and Am Yisrael. Please daven for all of us that Hashem should guide us through this chaos with rachamim. This whole topic deserves much more than this cursory note – but I wanted to get this out ASAP.
When the Bloom is off the Rose: Joining a Community
When the Bloom is Off the Rose
One of my students, a BT couple, has an adopted girl who was recently asked to leave the “frum†Jewish day school in town. The girl has issues with yiddishkeit, learning difficulties, and some behavioral problems. The father is very disillusioned with the “frum†community because of the way the whole situation was handled. I personally don’t agree with the way the school handled the issue, but that is not the main aspect of the entire event.
In counseling the father, I tried to make a few points that I felt were most important. Firstly, his anger is a sign that he’s a good father. He should be upset that his daughter has been rejected. But lets put things in perspective. Secondly, we always need to judge others favorably. Even if the school administration handled things poorly, they mean well, they have everyone’s best interest in mind, and they have constant difficult decisions to make that affect numerous neshamos. Thirdly, as a fellow Jew, you have the right and probably the obligation to go to the person most responsible for the way the decision was carried out and speak to them one on one and say, “I’m angry with you for treating my daughter and us this way.â€
The fourth point, though, is what I think is the most important.
Read more When the Bloom is off the Rose: Joining a Community
Davening in English or Hebrew
As a BT I find davening hard, I grew up in a very spiritual house where my mother always said G-d is with you always and you can talk to him in anyway you choose the same way you’d speak to one of your sisters or friends and that is exactly the kind of relationship I had (have?) with G-d. At times we’d be the best of friends speaking 5 times a day and at others there would be some unspoken distance between us and weeks might pass without so much as a word (on my end of course).
Read more Davening in English or Hebrew
Beyond BT Survival Kit – Pick 6 Books
There’s a show on public radio called ‘Survival Kit”. The show starts out as follows:
“So you’ve had it with the rat race and feel you’ve just got to get away. We’ll arrange an escape for two or three months. Far from everything – snowed in at an isolated cabin in Montana’s Yak Valley or, if you prefer heat, on a desert island. What would you need to maintain your sanity? We’ll provide you with plenty of food, of course. A dictionary, a bible, the complete works of Shakespeare and the tools of your trade.
But what else must you have?”
Each week, the host interviews a celebrity and asks about what they would put in their survival kit.
Let’s tweak this a bit:
Read more Beyond BT Survival Kit – Pick 6 Books
Shidduchim, the Dating Scene at Penn, and the Baalat Teshuva
If you can’t tell by now, I go to a secular university, but one that has a quite large frum population (around 300 including both undergrads and grads). The community is very Modern Orthodox, so shidduchim don’t happen around here so much. We’re all stuck on this campus for four years, and thus if anyone is dating, it is usually another person from within the Penn community. And although 300 is a big number, that means there are about 150 frum people of the opposite gender, and if you take out the people who are taken, and then the people who you would never date, and those that would never date you, it turns into a very small number, which may or may not be equivalent to 0.
Read more Shidduchim, the Dating Scene at Penn, and the Baalat Teshuva
A Fresh Look at Davening
In the beginning, davening was all about singing and dancing and connecting to G-d. They were amazing times…..We would go to the old ivy covered Hillel House at G.W.U. (George Washington University in D.C) on Friday night, first daven the “service†and then make a communal Shabbat dinner (or maybe it was the other way around back then). There must have been 15 or 20 of us, blue jeans and long hair, loving the world, and in love with being Jewish, eyes shining and hearts wide open, and we danced and sang underneath the huge banner across one wall of the room that read, “Transcend!†We felt so in touch with G-d and the universe, so connected and united with the Jewish people all over the world, and all through history, that the words of the Shma burned deep into our souls, and I knew that I had found my place.
Read more A Fresh Look at Davening
