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Yearly Archives: 2006

In Appreciation of Rabbi Horowitz and Rabbi Welcher

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Last night I saw the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation’s video on the Attitude of Gratitude. Rabbi Rietti, one of the speakers was amazing as usual, and he made the point that Hashem gives us so much and wants nothing in exchange, except a thank you which we express in a brocha. In fact, he doesn’t even want the thank you, except for our benefit.

With thank yous on our mind, it is a great opportunity to thank our two rabbinic advisors Rabbi Herschel Welcher and Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz. Because today both of them are being honored today at dinners of wonderful Torah learning institutions. Rabbi and Rebbetzin Yakov and Udi Horowitz are being honored at Yeshiva Darchei Noam in Monsey, the school that he founded. While Rabbi and Rebbetzin Herschel and Miriam Welcher are being honored by Shevach High School a girls high school in Kew Gardens Hills.
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Living History

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Mordechai and Esther's TombToday I was speaking with a business associate who mentioned that his father was born and raised in Hamadan, Iran also known as Shush or Shushan HaBira–the setting for the Purim drama. Hamadan is located between Teheran and Iran’s western border with Iraq. He mentioned that his father is very proud of his birthplace–Hamadan literally means “place of knowledge” and its inhabitants were generally regarded as very intelligent. Interestingly, Hamadan was the first Iranian province to allow Jews to own property. He also mentioned that Esther and Mordechai are the most popular names for Jews born in Hamadan and he himself has numerous relatives bearing these names.

The ancient wooden tombs of Esther and Mordechai still lay, side by side, today in Hamadan under a simple brick dome. One tomb, draped in shimmering cloths, is labelled “Esther” in English and Hebrew. The other, draped in vibrant colors, reads “Mordechai” in English and Hebrew.

Attitude of Gratitude

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When giving my Partners in Torah chavrusa an overview of Judaism, I explained that the role of the Jews is G-d awareness specialists. Our mission is to become more G-d aware through the performance of the mitzvos and to help the rest of the world increase their awareness through their mitzvos.

Before the destruction of the Second Temple, G-d’s presence was more palpable. But since the end of prophecy, G-d’s presence is no longer felt in the same way. One of the reasons the Men of the Great Assembly formulated the Brochos around that time, was to help us increase our G-d awareness as we live or daily lives.
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Some Beautiful Beyond BT Music

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There have been a few posts here on the blog about music, more specifically about the music many of us grew up with. Take it or leave it? OK for me but not for my kids. Can’t get it out of my head, etc.

My brother Chaim is a musician. Before he became observant he was, as they say, “living the life”. He was the lead singer for a West Coast band that had growing local popularity, was gaining radio play, and playing larger venues. After becoming observant he stayed away from his music as it reminded him of many of the things he wished to leave behind, mostly from a lifestyle point of view.

I would often chide him that Hashem didn’t give him his talents to be squelched but to be redirected, channeled.

After several years, he finally returned to his music with a deeper spiritual vibe. Here is, as he puts it, the artist named Chaim, formerly known as the artist named Jonny, and currently unknown with a beautiful song he wrote.

Am I Getting Into The Groove?

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This essay is not going to discuss the kabbalistic outlook on secular music or its effects. I leave that for others greater than I. I realize that the topic of listening to secular music is a very touchy topic with people. It can get heated. I am just going to share my own thoughts regarding the subject of listening to our past-music.

Going into Wal-Mart or Walgreen’s can be a trip down memory lane. I am guaranteed to hear some songs from my past. In fact, many of them I can still sing the words to, when I hear the music. What happens when a person hears music from their past? We know that the mind (our memory) keeps most things in storage. It is next to impossible to completely rid the memory of stored information. Forgetting something doesn’t mean it is erased, just misplaced or buried. As the music flows into our ears, the mind recalls the previous times when we heard that particular song. The music is a trigger for thoughts from the past. Whether it was a tznius time or not, kosher or treif. Granted, not every song we ever heard is associated with an “unkosher” time; however my personal jukebox doesn’t know how to differentiate between the two. This I see as one of the biggest problems with listening to secular music from the past.
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Who Turned Off the Lights?

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Today is the first of Adar. As you are likely aware, that marks the beginning of a month of increased simcha (joy). The first of Adar is also the date that Hashem wrought the maka of choshech– the Plague of Darkness — on Egypt.

As Adar begins, we begin our preparation for Purim. (I already began scarfing hamentshen). I’m wondering what the connection is between darkness and simcha/Purim. One thing I can see (pun intended) is that Adar is the month where we see through the darkness of the world and perceive what is really going on. Just like during the makka of choshech, even in a world of darkness, we have the ability to see things clearly. Anyone else care to take a stab at this seemingly contradictory connection?

Soul Sisters

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Sociologically speaking in general terms, the life cycles of women who are born into traditional Orthodox society vary greatly from those women who became newly observant as adults. Women who are frum from birth were hardly touched by the feminist trends and changing mores of our modern world, as they are socialized in a clearly defined traditional female role reminiscent of an earlier era.

The newly observant women can be coming from almost any socioeconomic background and, she could have had any of a myriad number of life experiences. Most likely, if she is of university age or older by the time she entered the fold, she had had a semblance of independence that most frum from birth women could only imagine. Not that this is necessarily good or bad, as I am not making any value judgments—only observations.
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Rosh Chodesh, Blogging and the New and Improved Jew

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Today is Rosh Chodesh the start of the new month and I’m thinking about starting a new program: “Daven Rosh Chodesh Mussaf Like a Mensch”. All that it entails is giving an extra 30 seconds so we can take off our tefillin and all start Shomeneh Esrai together, a little less rushed. The Yetzer Hara wants us to rush, expecially while stepping into Shomeneh Esrai, so why not try to fight him every now and then.

Rosh Chodesh is about novelty and our opportunity for a fresh beginning every month. For some deep thoughts on the relationship between Rosh Chodesh and spiritual renewal, check out this article by Rabbi Noson Weisz titled, Spiritual Quality Time.

This quest for novelty (chiddush) is also what makes blogging so popular. People have the need for something new, which according to Rabbi Akiva Tatz is also why newspapers are so popular. Our challenge is to look for new thoughts and insights everywhere and incorporate them to make ourselves, new and improved Jews.

The Value of Learning

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American Jewish Spirit magazine recently interviewed Mortimer Zuckerman, the well- known Jewish activist and Chairman of U.S. News & World Report and the New York Daily News. The focus of the interview was Jewish learning and Jewish Unity. Mr. Zuckerman clearly recognizes the importance of Jewish learning as evidenced by the following rhetorical question he asks and then answers:

“You have to ask yourself, how is it that the Jewish community has survived? As the only community that survived through the ages? I would argue that a great part of this is based on a simple foundation and it is Jewish learning. I mean this in several ways – it is because the Jewish community has always respected learning and especially Jewish learning that has enabled the yeshiva scholar and the scholar in general to be considered so important within the Jewish community.”

Take a look at the entire piece here and see Mr. Zuckerman’s impressions upon visiting a yeshiva for the first time. Inspiring.

Hat Tip: Steve Brizel

Why I want to go to Yeshiva – Part 1, The Question

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My name is Mike. I am 19 years old, currently living in a small Jewish community, but soon to be making Aliyah. And my initial plans for when I arrive in Israel are to study in Yeshiva. My family thinks that I’m crazy and that I’m wasting a year of my life. I beg to differ (clearly or else I wouldn’t be going.)

I grew up in a traditional Jewish South African family. Of course there was always a strong connection to Judaism, close ties with the Jewish community and the State of Israel but we were never “Frummers”. We would drive to shul on a Friday night (some weeks), make kiddush at home and even bentsch occasionally. But then we would watch TV after leaving the dinner table. Saturday was a day just like Sunday, time off from work or school but no greater meaning to it than that. And while pork and cheeseburgers were a no-no there weren’t too many qualms about eating beef lasagna or calamari.
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New Google Mashup Enables Davening On the Web

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Well if you’re looking to catch a Minyan on the Web, you’re out of luck. But the Shulchan Aruch (90:9) does say “However, if one is faced by compelling circumstances and cannot come to the Synogogue, he should see that the time when he prays coincides the the time when the congregation prays”. I wonder if there would be any halachic benefit to having a Shul webcam so you can daven at the exact same pace as the minyan and on Mondays and Thursday you can view and hear the reading of the Torah?

When you need to catch a minyan and you’re away from your normal Makon Kavuah, there’s a new site that mashes up Google Maps with your local minyan schedule called Minyan Maps. It’s pretty cool and useful and a friend of mine in Kew Gardens Hills heads the project, so give it a look.
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Observations on Administering Beyond Teshuva

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As this blog has grown in leaps and bounds over the past three months, I think it’s a good time to step back and get some focus.

A lot of what I have to say here arises, to a great extent, out of the numerous private e-mails we have received and, to a lesser extent, from some of the comments here on the blog.

Administering a blog of this sort is a lot more difficult than it may seem. Mark bears the brunt of that load and for that we are all (especially me) thankful. Administering this blog is kind of like juggling. On a tightrope. In the rain. On one foot. With a piano on your back. Without a net. And that’s on a good day!
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Materialism and Hiddur Mitzvah

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Someone recently commented here that she was shocked by the level of materialism that exists in the frum world. I have also often felt that way, but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that it was an unfair judgment on my part, so I thought I’d share a bit about what caused me to change my attitude.

Many BTs start out with an anti-materialistic stance. That’s partly because we are spiritually inclined by nature and partly because we are reacting to the extreme materialism of the secular culture in which we were raised. I, for one, spent a great part of my teenage years proving to myself that I was not – please excuse my language – a J.A.P. I went so far as to attend far-left indoctrination meetings on a regular basis. The main thing I learned there was resentment toward the wealthy. That attitude stuck for years, well beyond my involvement with the Left.
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Keeping in Touch with Before Teshuva Friends

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Make new friends,
But keep the old,
One is silver,
And the other gold.

This was always one of my favorite songs throughout childhood. My family moved around a lot when I was younger, so it was difficult to sustain friendships while changing locations every few years. My friendships, even today, are mostly ones that have lasted a few years, rather than decades or since kindergarten.
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You Make the Call: Well Meaning Parents Give Problematic Jewish History Book

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Phil emailed us the following request for comments:

Suppose you’re a BT with FFB children. Your parents give a pretty Jewish history book to your 12-year-old for his birthday. You manage to look through it before your child sees it and you see that some ideas go against the 13 Principles, and the general tone is, well, let’s just say that you wince on every few scans of the book.

Do you explain to your child that they can’t read it? Do you let them read it, but with your ongoing commentary? Do you ask your parents to stick to an “approved list” of books? Do you try to explain the book’s faults to your parents? Can you turn this into an educational experience for both your parents and your children? If any answer is ‘yes’, then what’s the best way to go about it?

You make the call (in the comments section)

The Spirit of Shabbat and My Car Alarm

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In the community I was involved with in St. Louis in my pre-marriage days, a particular family hosted about 25 people each week for Shabbat dinner and I had the privilege to be their guest several times. It seemed to me that this family represented the epitome of the baal teshuvah experience: beautiful home filled with yiddishkeit everywhere, wonderful food that seemed without end, fascinating dvars, lively conversation. Both husband and wife came from very different backgrounds; she attended Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government while the husband lived a fun life in Brazil. Their adorable daughter symbolized the bright future that lay ahead for them, and quite possibly for all of klal Yisrael, so giving was their spirit and energy.
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Getting Closer to Hashem Through SOY

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Although the Web does provide some excellent D’vrei Torah and such, when you really want to learn – Seforim still rule. And every Jew needs regular Torah learning as a part of their spiritual diet.

So may we suggest moseying down to the SOY Seforim Sale and picking up some new material. According to their Web Site, they are conveniently located at 2495 Amsterdam Ave. in Manhattan (Washington Heights), NY.

The sale continues through next Sunday, February 26 and they have some of the best prices available on the largest selection of seforim in any one location.

FYI – besides being a healthy protein substitute, SOY also stands for the Student Organization of Yeshiva who is sponsoring this great event.

On Marrying Off a Daughter

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Three weeks ago my wife and I reached a new milestone. Our eldest child was married. I had always pictured that I’d be like Steve Martin in “Father of the Bride” when this time arrived; nervous, sad about “losing” my daughter, and suspicious of this new person taking her away. In reality I felt none of these emotions. I truly feel like I’ve gained a son and not that I’ve lost a daughter.

While I didn’t have a lot of the “Father of the Bride” type emotions, I did feel a sense of relief and pride. As a BT raising a frum child I often worried if I was going to be able to get this “religion thing” passed on to future generations. As my children got older and I saw them developing strong, and unique, religious sensibilities of their own this concern of mine definitely waned. Still, seeing my daughter, at this stage of independence, covering her hair, studying and implementing the laws of taharat hamischpacha, and setting up a kosher home I felt a strong sense of accomplishment.
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