The Mitzvas Weren’t Mine

by Bracha Goetz

I got the costume right, but
For years, the mitzvas weren’t mine.
Or, they didn’t feel like they were.
The actions – and the blessings too,
Were awkward,
Then shallow,
But I said them anyway,
Hoping for a day like this.

The deeds, the prayers, even the thoughts
Endured, stiff and inflexible –
But at least not destructive
Like other thoughts, words, and actions
Once had been.

From a very negative point,
I had moved a long, long way up to position
Zero.

But now, it has even
Inched above that.
Today, a simple blessing spoken
After eating an orange,
Turned into something unspeakably
Wonderful.

Sitting by my kitchen table, I
Soared all the way to Yerushalayim
And back again, to reveal the present:
A body and soul that is getting in sync!

Nothing drab about this world.
These actions, these words, these thoughts,
They can reveal the essence of everything,
And everybody.
They are making me into who I really am.

For years the mitzvas weren’t mine.
But thank G-d
I guess it takes time and
Practice
For thoughts to transfuse,
For words to soak in,
And for stiff, inflexible steps to
Begin flowing into
The most genuine dance.

Children’s Books by Bracha
Aliza in MitzvahLand
What Do You See on Shabbos?
The Invisible Book – do you believe in what’s invisible?