Originally Posted on Oct 25, 2006
When Modiin was first built, it was designed as a â€˜secularâ€™ haven for the people who used to fancy living in Jerusalem, but didnâ€™t want hareidim for neighbours. As the city has grown, itâ€™s begun to attract quite a few modern orthodox, including a lot of expat anglos, who for the most part, have similar feelings about the hareidim.
When we moved here last year from London, we were just happy to be somewhere where we had jewish neighbours, regardless of what they did or didnâ€™t keep. I wonder now if we were a little naÃ¯ve.
Itâ€™s not that we have had any difficulties, G-d forbid, with our secular neighbours. They have been as friendly as they can be, given the fact that we canâ€™t eat in their homes, and they arenâ€™t overly keen to come for a Shabbat meal.
But that â€˜anti-harediâ€™ stance comes out in a lot of subtle, and not so subtle ways that has implications for everyone who lives here. It means that building synagogues, mikvas and schools in the area is loaded with a whole bunch of fears about being â€˜taken overâ€™ by the religious.
The irony is that if anything, the â€˜religiousâ€™ people here are just as scared of being taken over by the hareidim. We also donâ€™t want people telling us how to dress, telling us when we can drive our car, telling us what we can and canâ€™t watch.
Until quite recently, I was firmly in this camp. How can you have free will â€“ and the merit of doing a particular mitzvah â€“ if you are being compelled to do it by outside forces?
But then my husband started to go to kollel a few hours a day, in the hareidi neighbourhood of kiryat sefer. There is no kollel in modiin, so that was the nearest option.
And lo and behold, we discovered that hareidim are not the scary monsters that many people persist in making them. Many of them are the kindest, non-judgemental and most genuine people you could care to meet. They have their priorities right: lots of kids, and a focus on learning and mitzvahs as opposed to accumulating pointless â€˜stuffâ€™.
In Israel, there is a long list of popular complaints against the hareidim, starting with the number of kids they have (that secular wisdom dictates that they canâ€™t afford) and culminating with the â€˜factsâ€™ that they donâ€™t pay taxes and donâ€™t serve in the army.
Iâ€™m not qualified to comment on all the ins and outs of these issues. But it seems to me that they all touch on the same basic issue: hareidim act as if the â€˜naturalâ€™ laws of the world donâ€™t apply to them.
But of course, as jews, that is exactly how we are meant to act.
Once you see it in action, in a neighbourhood like Kiryat Sefer, it calls into question how many of us modern orthodox act and think.
I was talking to a hareidi woman who used to be chiloni (non-religious) and lived in Tel Aviv. She and her husband made tshuva a few years back, and now she lives in Kiryat Sefer with her five kids.
She does a lot of outreach work with girls in Ramle, many of whom donâ€™t think twice before chowing down on a pork chop. She was telling me about her work and said something that really made me stop and think.
â€œA lot of these girls eat pig, but when you show them that the Torah is true, they make tshuva and over time, they go the whole way,â€ she said. â€œThey understand that if the Torah is true, then ALL of it is true. Just as they shouldnâ€™t eat pig, they understand that they should also try to do all of the other things in the Torah.
â€œItâ€™s easier to work with them than to work with â€˜frozen jewsâ€™, who are keeping more, but think what they are doing is enough. Frozen jews never really reach the top of the mountain, because they havenâ€™t accepted that the Torah is true, and comes from Hashem. If you accept that the Torah comes from G-d, you canâ€™t pick and choose which bits of the Torah you keep. They are all equally important.â€
The point is not that we have to keep everything immediately. But the point certainly is that we have to continually strive to reach that goal.
Itâ€™s an uncomfortable reminder and it leads to a lot of uncomfortable questions, not least because iâ„¢ makes a very clear distinction between those that really believe in Torah and Hashem â€“ regardless of their outward observance â€“ and those that really donâ€™t â€“ again, regardless of their outward observance.
I donâ€™t know what the answer is. But Iâ€™m increasingly of the opinion that when it comes to belief in G-d, you canâ€™t spend a lifetime trying to sit on the fence.