The period between camp and school highlights the perennial problem our children’s boredom. For some the normal boredom fillers such as TV, Movies, Internet surfing, Video Games are not available, further increasing the problem.
What solutions have people come up with to try and alleviate the problem?
Did we have the same problem when we were young or has the availability of so much “excitement” put our kids in the state of boredom when they are not being highly stimulated?
This week’s Mishpacha magazine had a sentence which mentioned the “quiet Queens section of Brooklyn”. Many in Queens where a tad miffed at the hostile takeover of our lovely borough since Queens is most definitely not a section of Brooklyn.
As BTs we have a chance to be proud of our town of birth as well as our current community.
Are you proud of your hometown or your current community?
Are their hashkafic issues surrounding such pride?
There has been some discussion lately on the blog regarding the issue of “high walls”. For the sake of discussion, let’s define high walls as taking strict measures to keep what’s deemed good in the community in and keep what’s deemed to be detrimental influences outside of the community.
The benefit of high walls seems clear: they help preserve the purity of the community and to keep bad influences out.
It seems fair to ask, though, “are there drawbacks to high walls”?
Some have pointed out these possible drawbacks, high walls may:
1) also keep out positive things;
2) create a less welcoming community;
3) not properly prepare members for how to interact with others with differing perspectives thereby diminishing ahavas yisroel and the potential for kiddush Hashem;
4) stifle those community members that need/desire alternative expression;
5) not properly prepare its members for how to handle a situation in which they are faced with one of the outside influences that the high walls are intended to keep out.
Are there other benefits to high walls?
Are there other potential pitfalls?
Are there ways to decrease the potential pitfalls and increase the benefits?
In the Tisha B’Av videos yesterday, the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation (CCHF) announced the start of a World Wide Machsom L’Fi program where people would accept upon themselves not to speak Loshon Hara from 9:00 AM – 10:00 AM each day.
As the CCHF site explains over here:
One of the prime benefits of participating in a Machsom L’Fi is the opportunity to conquer loshon hora in manageable steps.
Once a person sees that he or she can refrain for an hour or two, it becomes easier to maintain self-control and awareness throughout the day.
“The yetzer hara’s most effective argument against working on Shmiras Haloshon is to convince us that it’s impossible to succeed,†says the program’s coordinator. “Machsom L’Fi defeats that argument, showing people that they can do it. This gives them confidence to continue building upon the success they experience.â€
“Just as the sunrise seems to travel across the world, now there will be another special light—the light that comes from achdus and shalom— moving across the globe every day, reaching one time zone after another, one Jewish community after another,†says one of the program’s organizers.
“The image is amazing.
The reality can be even more amazing.â€
To join you can just accept not to speak Lashon Hora from 9:00 am to 10:00 am each day or you can sign up for a daily email or phone call reminder over here.
It seems like we have a lot of work to do to rebuild the Beis Hamikdash. Most of us are fairly good Jews, so it’s easy to blame the other guys for the problems and perhaps to some extent it’s true that it is their problem.
But could it be that we are collectively to blame for the faults of the Jewish world?
Is it possible that we need to care more about our fellow Jew and develop the love needed to effectively help each other improve?
Contempt is an easy emotion, but could it be that the contempt we hold is a big part of the problem?
Of course this does not mean that all wrongs are equivalent, but should we not point the finger of blame and shame out ourselves every once an a while and look at our own faults?
Do we have the courage to accept some of the blame?
We all have a lot of stuff on our plate, families, making a living, Torah learning, community service and more. In addition, people seem to have shorter attention spans these days.
How have the Beyond BT readers deal with these challenges?
Do you use time management systems to organize your life?
Do you make time to just sit and think and focus on your most important goals?
What Torah based solutions have you found to help face these challenges?
Have you found any useful techniques to help with keeping the distractions at bay during davening?
It’s summer time and the school break should afford us a little extra time to pick up a new sefer.
What seforim are must reads for your fellow co-religionists?
Today is the 15th Yahrzeit of the Lubavitch Rebbe. Chabad.org has a whole subsite devoted to the Rebbe.
In this article, Ten Absurdly Simple Ways to Live Higher, ten “first step†mitzvahs which were suggested by the Rebbe are explored. Here are the mitzvahs the Rebbe suggested:
1) Put a pushka on your desk and start giving Tzedakah
2) Buy and read Jewish books
3) Put up mezzuzahs in your house
4) Light Shabbos candles
5) Keep Kosher
6) Put on Tefillin
7) Women should go to the Mikvah
8) Enroll your children in a Jewish Day School
9) Learn Torah
10) Do Chesed
Mazal Tov to JDMDad, Laya, and big sisters Tikvah and Ahava on the birth of Baby JDMDad.
Baby was born on Monday, June 15, 2009, (23 Sivan 5769) at 11:59 am.
Weight: 7 lbs. 2 oz.
Length: 19.5 inches
A friend recently wrote in pointing out that comments of the form “it depends which Rabbi or neighborhood you live” pop up recurringly on Beyond BT. This could easily lead to picking a Torah that fits us, instead of changing ourselves to fit the Torah.
While most us us do recognize that there are multiple paths within Torah, we certainly don’t advocate molding Judaism to fit ones needs.
How do you view this issue?
Can the the expression of multiple opinions here mislead newly observant Jews into believing that a BT can tailor Orthodoxy to fit their needs?
If it is a problem, any suggestions on how to deal with it?
ShirHaLev.com was created to help Jews learn songs and therefore help increase their enjoyment of Shabbos, holidays and many other occasions.
There’s lots of material there. And it’s all free.
You can even submit your own songs following these guidelines:
The recordings should be 1 male singing, no instruments, not too fast and clearly and accurately pronounced. Once received, we will go through them and decide to put them up or not.
To some it’s a terrible thought.
To others it’s a necessity and a fulfillment of Hashem’s will.
What do you think?
Should we market Torah?
And if so, how should we go about it?
FOOD, BODY IMAGE AND EATING DISORDERS IN THE JEWISH COMMUNITY
Conference for Professionals, Educators, Rabbis and Students
Keynote speakers at the event will be Esther Altmann, PhD., a Manhattan psychologist and eating disorders specialist and Senior Consultant, Orthodox Jewish Eating Disorders Program, Renfrew Center; and Rabbi Abraham Twerski, MD, Founder and Medical Director Emeritus of Gateway Rehabilitation Center, psychiatrist, and prolific author.
Sunday, June 7th, 2009
Ramaz Middle School
New York, NY
Full details and registration at http://community.ou.org/eatingdisorders
There are many theories as to why there has been a rise of eating disorders in the Jewish community. Some say it’s because of the pressures for the need to control; some attribute it to the influence of the media and its emphasis on slimness; and still others have other reasons. Whatever the cause, the fact remains that eating disorders are a real and malevolent presence in our community today. Therefore, the Orthodox Union, in conjunction with the Renfrew Center Foundation, is sponsoring a seminar on “Food, Body Image, and Eating Disorders in the Jewish Community,†on Sunday, June 7, from 9:00 am-5:00 pm. It will take place at Ramaz Middle School, 114 East 85th Street, New York City.
Here are some of the program highlights:
9:15 – 10:45 KEYNOTE PRESENTATION
Eating Disorders: The Healing Power of the Jewish Community
Esther Altmann, PhD
So many Jewish girls live on the edge of an eating disorder – hovering, but not crossing over the line to a full blown syndrome. Their preoccupation and angst about food and body drain precious emotional and intellectual resources that could be directed toward more productive endeavors. Eating disorders can be life-threatening, debilitating, chronic conditions. Early detection and treatment can help prevent the anguish and suffering of young Jewish women and their families. Over the years there have been repeated efforts in the Jewish community to address the problem of eating disorders, yet the illness persists. Are there cultural stressors that may contribute to the problem? How might Jewish values mitigate eating disorders and their consequences? Dr. Altmann will address these issues and share clips from the documentary film “Hungry To Be Heard.â€
Esther Altmann, PhD is an eating disorders specialist and Senior Consultant to the Orthodox Jewish Eating Disorders Program at The Renfrew Center in New York. Dr. Altmann is currently on the teaching faculty at Yeshivat Chovevei Torah Rabbinical School and the Drisha Institute. Dr. Altmann is a psychologist in private practice in Manhattan.
1:45 – 3:00 KEYNOTE PRESENTATION
Spirituality, Self-Esteem and Recovery
Rabbi Abraham Twerski, MD
Eating becomes disordered when food serves some purpose other than nutrition. Food can be used as a tranquilizer, temporarily relieving the distress of anxiety, or as a means for demonstrating control. It is necessary to address the sources of anxiety and the circumstances that cause unmanageable feelings. Failure to do so leaves a void, which may be experienced as anxiety. Self-fulfillment requires using all the traits that distinguish a person from other living things. The totality of these traits can be described as the human spirit. Exercising the traits that comprise the spirit constitutes spirituality. A person can attain optimum self-esteem only by becoming or striving to become everything one can be. Hence, self-esteem requires the self-fulfillment of spirituality.
Abraham J. Twerski, MD is the Founder/Medical Director Emeritus of the nationally acclaimed Gateway Rehabilitation Center. An ordained Rabbi, practicing psychiatrist, and prolific author of more than 50 books, Dr. Twerski is recognized as an international authority in the field of chemical dependency. He has been Clinical Director, Department of Psychiatry at St. Francis Hospital in Pittsburgh, Founder of the first Pennsylvania program for nurses with addiction problems, and Chairman of the Pennsylvania Medical Society Committee on the Impaired Physician. The recipient of honorary degrees from St. Vincent’s College, Duquesne University and Indiana University of Pennsylvania, Dr. Twerski has received numerous awards including the Nelson J. Bradley Life Time Achievement Award from the National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers.
As you know from last week’s post, Ron Coleman, an integral part of Beyond BT, is being honored by Agudath Israel of America. We are setting a goal here on the blog to raise a modest $360 on behalf of Agudah and we on the admin side are personally pledging $100 towards that goal. If you pledge or give anything for the dinner please email us beyondbt@gmail.com or leave a comment here.
We get a lot of requests to publicize causes from a lot of worthy organizations. We usually ask for a BT angle for the cause to make it relevant for our community. Of course, we don’t think BT causes are the only ones worth supporting, but the reality is that there are very few organizations who explicitly support BTs and that’s the cause that we’re focused on here.
So here are three ideas how Agudah can support BTs:
Show Explicit Concern For the Entire Jewish People
BTs sit in a strange place, often with one ear in the Torah observant world and one ear with family and friends in the non observant world. Most of us respect the gedolim as the leaders of the entire Jewish people, but many of our non-observant friends and relatives and perhaps some BTs themselves don’t feel the love and the concern that the gedolim undoubtedly have. Although Agudah is primarily tasked with overseeing Right Wing Orthodox issues, perhaps they can spend some tiny percentage of their resources showing concern and providing solutions or advice for all of the Jewish people.
Constructively Face the Challenges of the Internet
The official position of the Agudah seems to be that the Internet is prohibited to use, but many in the BT world feel that they need to access the Internet. Perhaps the Agudah can recognize this growing reality and start a campaign to encourage all Internet users to have appropriate filters and to use the Internet responsibly and constructively.
Help Us With Our Learning
The Daf Yomi Commission has helped many working people include some level of Gemora learning in their lives with Daf Yomi. BTs are probably missing out more than most in learning Gemora. Perhaps the Agudah can structure a deal with Artscroll to make the translations available at a low cost along with a program to enable and encourage any Jew that desires to put some Gemora learning in their lives.
Perhaps people can provide some other ideas on how Agudah can specifically help BTs.
Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller was in Kew Gardens Hills on Tuesday. Here is the shiur she gave at Congregation Ahavas Yisroel on Chesed in Turbulent Times.
Rebbetzin has a new sefer, co-written with Sara Yoheved Rigler called Battle Plans: How to Fight the Yetzer Hara. Here is an excerpt from the book.
The book draws from the Maharal, Ramchal and the Chassidic and Mussar Masters to give specific strategies for battling the Yetzer Hara in different situations such as when you’re frustrated, angry, bored, egotistical, tempted by desire, etc. Well worth the price.
As the years go on, there is more and more Torah audio available for free on the Internet, however there are still a significant number of pay sites.
Some of these pay sites have shiurim that many would benefit from, but for which they are unlikely to pay given the wealth of free material.
1) Why are there sites that still charge, even though there seems to be few sites that sell significant amounts of material?
2) Should we or could we try to convince some of the pay sites to offer their material for free?
3) Is there a Torah hashkafah view as to whether to charge or give away, especially as the cost of production and distribution of audio continues to trend towards zero?
Pesach is over and I’m sure many had a wonderful Yom Tov.
How do you deal with the inevitable let down as we return to the day to day struggles of life?
What impressions, insights and lessons have you taken out of Pesach this year which can continue to inspire you and others in the Beyond BT community.
Here is the Beyond BT Guide to the Seder which goes through the basic halachos of each step of the seder.
While getting ready for Pesach, you might want to give Rabbi Welcher’s Preparing for Pesach a listen.
The Absolut Haggadah, a refreshing blend of humor and commentary trying to uncover the pshat (basic meaning) of the Haggadah has been updated. You can distribute it to anyone who might be interested.
What topics do you focus on for yourself and your family at the Pesach Seder?
Do you think it is better to have a narrower focus or to discuss and think about many topics?
Freedom
Thankfulness to Hashem
Emunah (Faith)
Bitachon (Trust in Hashem)
Hashgacha Pratis (Divine Providence)
Praise of Hashem
Mitzvos of the Evening
Feeling as if you Left Mitzraim
Other things
