Yaakov Avinu represents the highest level of perfection among the Avos. Avraham Avinu produced a Yishmael; Yitzchak Avinu produced an Esav. But Yaakov’s progeny became the Twelve Tribes; each one of them entered into Klal Yisrael.

Avraham’s defining middah (characteristic) was chesed (loving-kindness); Yitzchak’s was the opposite, gevurah (strict judgment). Yaakov’s characteristic of emes (truth) can be viewed as a synthesis of the two.

The above schema is well-known. But it raises an interesting question. Why did HaKadosh Baruch Hu have to proceed through Avraham and Yitzchak to reach Yaakov? Why could He not have just started with the embodiment of emes in Yaakov? Apparently, emes could only arise out of a creative tension between chesed and din. That tension was a necessary condition for reaching the ultimate perfection.

My friend Rabbi Aharon Lopiansky first articulated this insight while counseling a young ba’al teshuva who was torn between his desire to deepen his own Gemara learning and his sense of obligation to share what he had already learned with the great majority of Jews who have never tasted Torah in their lives. The most important thing, Rabbi Lopiansky told him, was to continue to live with the tension rather than try to deny the validity of either goal.

Many of the most difficult choices in life are of this nature. The choice is not between life and death, good and evil, but how to balance two Torah values. The easiest course is often to suppress one side of the equation and to remove the tension. But from such a course, emes will not emerge.

Avraham Avinu and Yitzchak Avinu both were tested in ways that required them to act against their dominant middah. For Avraham, the greatest test was Akeidas Yitzchak, which required him to act contrary to the message he had taught the entire world for decades by sacrificing his own son. Yitzchak’s greatest test, as described by Rabbi Dessler in Michtav M’Eliyahu, came when he affirmed the blessings to Yaakov.

Yitzchak knew that Yaakov was at a higher spiritual level than Esav, and thought therefore that Yaakov should not receive any material blessing but rely exclusively on strict justice. When Yitzchak sensed, because of Yaakov’s voice and the scent of Gan Eden emanating from his clothes, that it was Yaakov standing before him, he recognized a Divine hint to depart from his lifetime emphasis on strict judgment and that Yaakov might need a blessing of material bounty. Thus his great fear and trembling.

Avraham and Yitzchak were severely tested. But only Yaakov, the man of emes, experienced a life of unbroken travail – from being forced to flee from his brother Esav, to the twenty years in Lavan’s house, to the confrontation with Esav, to the twenty-two years that he mourned for Yosef. Only Yaakov could have said, “Few and bad have been the days of the years of my life. . . (Bereishis 47:9). From Yaakov we learn that fashioning a new synthesis, while holding fast to two competing poles, is the most difficult task. But only by doing so can emes emerge.

Too frequently, when we hear something with which we disagree our initial inclination is to suppress it. Yet often times, both on an individual and a communal level, we would benefit from an airing of both sides of the debate. On most important issues that affect us as individuals and as a community, there is more than one perspective that is relevant. And the truth is more likely to emerge from the clash between the varying approaches than from one side of the debate trying to censor the other.

The great historian of the Italian Renaissance Jakob Burkhardt wrote in the 19th century that the future would belong “to those who see things simply.” And in the next century, we witnessed totalitarian regimes that slaughtered tens of millions of human beings in the name of some easily grasped ideal promising to free human existence from all tension and complication.

THE NECESSITY OF Avraham Avinu and Yitzchak Avinu, with their diametrically opposed defining characteristics, preceding Yaakov Avinu also has important implications for our understanding of Jewish history. Far from being static, Jewish history follows certain cycles and patterns. The Ohr Somayach, in a famous passage, describes one such pattern with respect to recently exiled Jews arriving in a new land and the change from one generation to the next.

After every catastrophic event that destroys the previous equilibrium, there is a pendulum swings until a new equilibrium is found. Let us take one contemporary example. The period between the beginning of World War I and end of World War II completely destroyed a European Jewish civilization built over nearly two millennia. In order to rebuild the entire world of Torah learning destroyed by the Nazis, Rabbi Aharon Kotler in the United States and the Chazon Ish in Eretz Yisrael declared a societal ideal of long-term Torah study for all males that had few precedents in Jewish history. The pendulum swung in one direction, as part of the rebuilding.

As the original small flock of dedicated idealists who rallied to the banner of Reb Aharon and the Chazon Ish has miraculously swelled today to an entire community of hundreds of thousands, encompassing a wide range of abilities and spiritual levels, the pendulum has begun to swing in the other direction in search of a new equilibrium.

But whatever happens in the future it is s crucial to understand that the extreme response was absolutely necessary, just as the pure chesed of Avraham and the pure din of Yitzchak were necessary for Yaakov to emerge. And so it has been with many of the great conflicts in Jewish history, like that between Chassidim and Misnagdim. In retrospect, the extremes of the early Chassidic movement and the fierceness of the Misnagdic response can be seen as necessary for the synthesis of the qualities of both that has emerged.

We could all gain a great deal in the way of tolerance if we recognized that approaches that we dismiss out of hand are often the necessary expression of one pole of an inherent tension. Our task as individuals and a community is too forge our own synthesis from the tension.

Reprinted with permission of Jonathan Rosenblum.

My 52nd birthday is on Dec 2nd, so I wanted to share a short thought on happiness to mark the occasion.

The Mishna in Avos (6:1) says:

“Rabbi Meir said, anyone who engages in Torah study for its own sake merits many things. Not only that, but the entire world is worthwhile for him alone. He is called ‘friend’ and ‘beloved,’ he loves G-d, he loves man, he brings joy to G-d, he brings joy to man….”

The Maharal comments on “he brings joy to G-d, he brings joy to man”:

Happiness flows from completeness, just as grief is the result of loss and deficiency. Since this world was created to provide us with opportunities to enrich our lives through Torah, it is clear that Torah brings completeness into our lives and hence to the entire world. A person who engages in sincere Torah study brings joy to G-d for he fullfils the verse, “G-d shall rejoice in His works” by bringing completeness to His works.

So why doesn’t learning Torah give us tremendous happiness?

Perhaps we need to work on internalizing that learning is the ultimate source of happiness and bring the awareness of the completeness to the forefront when we learn.

In fact, any mitzvah has this potential to bring high levels of happiness, if we put ourselves in the right cognitive framework.

The hard science types out there will disagree, but it really wasn’t what I expected at all. In fact, I wasn’t expecting anything as far as I can tell.

Let me go back a bit and lay the groundwork here. My father, alav hashalom, was a very intelligent erudite individual who was also very good with his hands. Although I typically saw him reading a book or the New York Times or something related to school (he was a professional educator); he had a fascination and quick grasp of mechanical things, too. I remember as a little boy stopping by construction sites so that my father could marvel at the machinery and techniques employed.

My mother, every bit as intelligent and an educator as well, is the stereotypical liberal arts type. Song, dance, and theatre are her big interests. She devours books, and did some pretty fair writing in her time. Even in her eighties, she recently produced and directed a pretty serious show through the assisted living place she calls home.

Neither of my parents were outdoorspeople. They can’t figure out where I came from. From a small age I was playing in the local river or swamp (against stern parental warnings). As I got older, skipping school usually meant going off to meditate and write poetry by the Mianus River, rather than partying at someone’s house. As a yeshiva student, Aharon Bier alav hashalom was my hero and my professional aspiration was to be a guide and show people the wildest corners of the Land of Israel, Tanach in hand. As a school teacher, vacations were spent backpacking and fishing wherever was nearby in the American Southwest, British Columbia, or New England. If I had only a day, then a quick hike up a local hill was good, too. I am never so happy as when I take off with a deep or inspiring book in my pack and some time to contemplate Hashem’s creation. The Ramhal, The Nazir, Breslov Hasidus – whatever seems right at the time. Ten days in the wilderness to marvel at the creation ‘round the clock is my idea of rapture.

I never seemed to have my father’s mechanical talent; nor interest, really. I may be the only kid who flunked shop class for lack of aptitude. Math and physics made no sense to me, despite my interest in science. But put me in the beit midrash or out in the mountains, and I would figure out what to do with myself. The two places seem to go together naturally in my mind. The Netziv and the Radak are among those who point out how our forefathers would especially go out into the wilderness to meditate and seek inspiration. The Rambam says that one can achieve love of God (in the Mishneh Torah in the relevant halachot) by going out and examining/contemplating Hashem’s creation. To me, the outdoors guy, this makes easy sense. I once had a conversation with a couple in the mountains north of Vancouver, BC about this very effect. ‘Did you ever find yourself so inspired by the countryside that a sense of gratitude just welled up within you?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ ‘Well, WHO do you think you were grateful to?’ They got the point immediately.

So there I was, in my garage during the winter about three years ago. My 30 year old motorbike and main transportation was sorely in need of upkeep and serious repair. I know next to nothing about this stuff. So I set to it with shop manuals and the ongoing determined help of friends on an internet forum, SOHC4. (By the way, this incident is one of many that showed me how the internet is an amazing conduit for hesed ‘round the world. Complete strangers with little or no agenda helping each other daily with advice, encouragement, and material goods. Amazing. We see the inherent good that Hashem created within us.) For eleven days straight I worked on the tortured wiring on this bike, and a few more days on the carbureters. I was in a world I knew nothing about. Interestingly, I found the time therapeutic and focussing.

Then it began to happen. No, I wasn’t delerious. ;-) I was, however, very focussed on the tasks of diagnosing and repairing the electrical and mechanical issues with my ride. I started to realize, in the midst of working on the bike, how the principles taught in physics lay behind all the engineering I was taking advantage of and trying to cooperate with. Math became the language to express the ideas. But it didn’t stop there. I didn’t just come away with an appreciation for Mr. Sochiro Honda. I deeply sensed how all this finely tuned system of forces balance with each other in an undeniable and carefully scripted display of Hashem’s will. It is amazing to begin to see the interplay of factors like flow, turbulence and vacuum and how they can serve us when engineered into devices like a carbureter. A carefully engineered machine is an expression of the various forces through which God operates our world. All these factors are available to us for our benefit. Physics, Chemistry, the language of Math all express how the Divine will filters into the material world. God made it all.

I really don’t know how to describe the amazement that enveloped me, sitting next to my bike with greasy hands and realizing Hashem’s rule in His world. All I can say is it was a truly religious experience. I walked from the garage back into the house a different person. I have never been the same again. Today I look at these machines, and my limited understanding and appreciation of them immediately awakens a sense of awe like I feel in the mountains. Hashem’s will is expressed in myriad ways in all his creation and how it works. I don’t know how I missed it before; but I have never been quite the same again. I am truly grateful to our Creator that little window was opened and expanded how I am awed by His mastery and presence.

Rav Kook writes regarding the verse ‘know Him in all your ways’ that whatever ‘way’ we happen to be on or engaged in at the moment, we must know Hashem. Maybe this moment of enlightenment was a bit of what he means. It certainly wasn’t when or where I would have looked for a religious experience.

By Rabbi Shafier
www.TheShmuz.com

ספר דברים פרק יב

(כ) כִּי יַרְחִיב יְדֹוָד אֱלֹהֶיךָ אֶת גְּבֻלְךָ כַּאֲשֶׁר דִּבֶּר לָךְ וְאָמַרְתָּ אֹכְלָה בָשָׂר כִּי תְאַוֶּה נַפְשְׁךָ לֶאֱכֹל בָּשָׂר בְּכָל אַוַּת נַפְשְׁךָ תֹּאכַל בָּשָׂר:

רש”×™ על דברים פרק יב פסוק ×›
(×›) ×›×™ ירחיב וגו’ – למדה תורה דרך ארץ שלא יתאוה אדם לאכול בשר אלא מתוך רחבת ידים ועושר.

“When HASHEM your G-d will broaden your boundary as He spoke to you, and you say, “I will eat meat,” for you will have a desire to eat meat, to your heart’s entire desire you may eat meat.” – Devarim 12:20

For forty years in the midbar the Jewish people ate mon. Guided by Moshe Rabbeinu, engaged in constant Torah study with every physical need taken care of, the Klal Yisrael lived on a lofty spiritual plane. Now that they were being ushered into a different era – entering Eretz Yisroel where they would begin living in a natural manner – they were given many directives to retain their status as an exalted nation.

One of the points that Moshe Rabbeinu made to the Klal Yisrael is that when they settled the land and followed the Torah, they would find success in their endeavors, and HASHEM would expand their borders. When this would occur, they would desire meat. And they would be allowed to eat it anywhere they wished.

Rashi is bothered by the relationship between the expanding of borders and the “desire to eat meat.” It almost implies that the expansion of borders brings on the desire. Rashi explains that the Torah is teaching us a principle in derech eretz. A person should only desire meat when he can afford it. When HASHEM expands our borders and we enjoy financial success, then it is appropriate to desire meat – not before.

This Rashi seems difficult to understand. What is wrong with desiring meat? The Torah might tell me that if I can’t afford meat, I shouldn’t eat it. If it is beyond my means and purchasing it would create an undue expense, I shouldn’t buy any. But what is wrong with just desiring it?

Pleasures and Passions

The answer to this can be best understood with a moshol. Imagine that you find yourself shipwrecked on a desert island. You haven’t eaten in three days, and you are driven by one burning desire – food. As you hobble along the island, you notice a brown paper bag under a palm tree. You open it up to find a dry peanut butter sandwich that has sat out in the sun for three months. You gulp down that sandwich with more gusto than anything that you have ever eaten in your life.

Here is the question: how much pleasure did you derive from eating that sandwich? There is no question that you had a powerful urge, a very real desire, but how much enjoyment did you receive from that activity? The answer is not much. It certainly relieved your hunger, and in that sense brought a release from pain, but it would be hard to imagine that for the rest of your life you would be reminiscing back to the sensation of the bitter, spoiled peanut butter and dry, cracked bread as it scratched your throat when you swallowed it.

This is a good example of the distinction between pleasure and passion. You ate that sandwich with great desire – a lot of passion – but you didn’t derive much pleasure from that activity. Passion is the pull to engage in a given activity. Pleasure is the amount of enjoyment you receive from it. As unusual as it may sound, most people fail to make a distinction between pleasures and passions.
HASHEM wants us to be happy

This seems to be the answer to the Rashi. While it is true that life is a battle, and exerting self-control is the primary vehicle of growth, HASHEM created us to be happy. If you bring new desires into your world, desires that you can’t possibly fulfill, you are destined to be miserable. You will be constantly wanting, constantly hungry. Your life will become the opposite of a pleasurable existence.

The Torah is teaching us that our desires are things that we can and need to control. If you have the capacity to meet the desire to eat meat, and it is within the parameters of your purpose in life, there is nothing wrong with allowing those desires to surface. HASHEM created many pleasures for man to enjoy, and you should use those pleasures to better serve Him. But if you don’t have the means to fulfill those hungers and you allow them to be present, then you will be living a very uncomfortable existence, constantly hungering for something that can’t be met.

When HASHEM grants you abundance and you can afford luxuries, then you will desire meat – but not before. The Torah is educating us into a higher form of living. When you enjoy the pleasures and control your desires, you use this world for its intended purpose, thereby living b’ shleimus – complete, not lacking.

Consumerism – a national culture of competitive acquisitions

This concept is very applicable in our times. Economists refer to us as the consumer generation. The word consumer is a derivative of the word “consume,” which means to eat, to use up. And it is very telling. The culture we live in breeds the need to consume, whether it be food, clothing, appliances, electronics, cars. . . These products aren’t acquired. They are used up – and at an ever-increasing rate. It has been said that progress today can be measured by the speed by which yesterday’s luxury becomes today’s necessity.

But it is more than simply being cultured into the need to acquire material possessions. Spending has become the vehicle to establish social position. For many people, their personal identities are tied up in the type of car they drive and the brand of clothing they wear. Their entire sense of self is based on an image sold in the marketplace.

We are the Chosen Nation – expected to live above the rest of the nations. Unfortunately, that sense of living at a higher standard can become perverted into materialism, where the expectation is that for people like “us,” nothing less than the best will do. And so our weddings, our wardrobes, our homes, and our cars have to be the best. The way our children dress and the types of toys that they expect are nothing short of top-notch. And we find ourselves with an ever-increasing cost of living. When barely surviving in our communities means that we are expected to earn three to four times the national median household income, something is wrong with our lifestyle.

But what can we do about it? We can’t be expected to live with less than everyone else. And so we find ourselves caught in this ever-increasing spiral of earn and spend, earn and spend, until no matter how much money we make, we never seem to make ends meet.

While only a Navi can define for us why HASHEM does what He does, when we witness “market corrections,” and a general sense of “we must cut spending” arises, we might conjecture that it is a great chessed to us. It teaches us to enjoy what we have without creating new desires and expectations – to break out of this culture of spending, and the baggage that it brings.

We live in times of mass prosperity where the average person is rich, but to enjoy that great bracha, we must maintain control. The Torah’s goal is for us to be live an exalted life, to be the Chosen Nation, to be happy and satisfied in our existence. Everything in this world was created for man’s use – but it must be used properly, in balance, in the right time, and in the right measure. When man does that, he enjoys his short stay on this planet and accomplishes his purpose in Creation.

For more on this topic please listen to Shmuz #156 Get out of Debt

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Dear Rabbi Weiman:

Hi! I read your article “Hell No” on the Aish Website, and that led me to your website, kabbalahmadeeasy.com. Although I am FFB and was fortunate to have a typical Bais Yaakov education, my views on what Hashem is and wants is somewhat unique in my community. Your perspectives were like a breath of fresh air and reaffirmed what I have always believed. I will be a frequent visitor to your site. Thank you!

I have a question that has been bothering me for some time and hope that you will be able to answer it for me. The short version of the question is: what commentaries and aspects of the Oral Torah must one believe to be considered a true Torah Jew?

I will explain: obviously, I know that the Oral Torah is an integral part of our religion. Many mitzvos cannot be performed properly without guidance from oral traditions. However, I also understand, that not every commentary is necessarily accurate. For example, there are various opinions regarding Rivka’s age at the time of her marriage. Clearly, they can’t all be correct.

Also, I remember learning a pshat in school that why did Avraham tell Sarah that he knows that she is beautiful (before entering Egypt and hiding her)? Rashi provides various explanations, including one that according to the Midrash, they were very modest and now, when he saw her reflection in the river, it was the first time that he saw her beauty.

To be frank, this explanation made me somewhat uncomfortable. Is it okay not to accept it? Does that make one a heretic? So back to the short version of my question: is there a clear distinction regarding oral traditions that must and may be accepted?

If you can provide some guidance, I would be immensely grateful.

Thank you.
S.

Dear S.

Thanks for your email. Since you have a background I’ll tell you that my material on the basics come from The Way of God, Path of the Just, Duties of the Heart, and the Sefer HaChinuch.

These sefarim have deep ideas that many people gloss over. Luckily I had Rebbeim that brought out the jewels that others miss. Many FFB’s would say similar things when they would go to Rabbi Noah Weinberg’s classes. “Nobody told me the Almighty loves me. They just taught me to do mitzvos or I’ll go to gehennom.”

You didn’t mention which specific perspectives you feel at odds with your community on, but please consider bolstering yourself with some sources and spreading the truth somehow. Teach, share, set out print outs of my articles and others that support your views. Maybe together we can change the world.

On to your question. The short answer is no, it’s not clear. This is a very complicated question filled with aspects that I don’t feel qualified to deal with, and email is an awkward medium for. But lets clarify a few things.

There are three relevant commandments:

1. Know there is a God. #25 in Sefer HaChinuch
2. To Listen to the prophet speaking in His name. # 516
3. Act in accordance with the Great Sanhedrin. # 495 (#496 would also be relevant)

——

I’m not sure what you mean be “considered a Torah true Jew”. Considered by God? Considered by the frum velt? Rambam’s books were burned. Ramchal’s seforim were buried. Many gedolim held beliefs that were considered wrong or even dangerous, or even sometimes heretical. Recently a rabbi wrote some books that had viewpoints that the present gedolim didn’t like and his books were banned. Yet every one of his statements could be backed up by Rishonim. He’s branded a heritic but based in Chazal. “Considered a Torah true Jew” to other Jews leaves too much open to debate. So I’m going to assume what you mean is “What beliefs does the Torah obligate me to have?”

——

Our tradition is based on the truth of the Torah, so it would seem that without belief that the Torah is true we can’t have the religion at all. The Torah commands belief in God, but not specifically the Torah. Yet if you don’t already believe in the Torah, then you aren’t commanded to believe in anything. Therefore while not a specific commandment to believe in the Torah, belief in the Torah is a prerequisite. You can’t command it, yet it is a prerequisite. That the Torah is still in tact is also a prerequisite, not a commandment. Yet there is a commandment to listen to the Prophets which may include all of the written law. The Oral tradition seems to follow the same line. That the Mishna and the Talmud are the definition of the Oral law and without adherence to them we don’t have Judaism. Since the Oral tradition is partly in the hands of the sages, it also falls under the commandment to listen to the sages.

The main question seems to be what are the parameters of the commandment to listen to the sages. Is it only the Sandhedrin? Is it the sages in each generation? And if there is a debate amongst the sages how far to take the commandment whose opinion do you follow? We have an obligation to follow the psak of our “Rabbi” but does that include his psak on hashkafah? Can you poskin hashkafah? You sent me a sheilah, are you obligated to listen to my answer? These questions involve the area of psak halacha and are also the subject of debate. We can’t deal with Psak Halacha in one email.

Hashkafot in general that come from the Torah are sometimes debated and therefore we are at a loss to decide which hashkafot we are obligated in. Maimonides wrote up a list of 13 principles of Jewish thought. Are we obligated to accept them? They are in the Artscroll Siddur. Does that imply a psak? Duties of the Heart lists commandments of belief and attitude. Are they psak? This area of Judaism is not clear and if you find a Rav who has clarity on it, do you have to listen to him? I am leaving these questions open.

One thing is for sure, Medrash in general is homiletic and therefore open to interpretation. You can’t be bound to something that is not always taken literally. Therefore what age Rivkah was can’t be obligated as a belief. What Rashi means or the Medrash means by Avraham’s not seeing Sarah is open to interpretation. He loved her, was married to her, and presumably complimented her on her looks, her dress etc. But he may not have looked at her through the eyes of inappropriate pagans. Once he looked at her through their eyes he realized that they would be very attracted to her. This brings out another point, which is that when dealing with Medrash on the Torah, by not accepting the simple explanation, you may actually be giving the Torah more respect and your questions may lead to a deeper understanding. Isn’t that what study is all about? We encourage our children to ask questions at the Seder hoping they’ll never stop. If you accept something blindly your understanding stops there.

We seem to be bound by the halachic aspects of the Talmud, but there are homiletic parts called aggadta that are in the same category as Medrash. You can’t be bound by them either. Unless all the commentaries are in agreement as to how to interpret a passage or a Medrash, you are free to say, “I’m not sure I understand this correctly. It seems that a frog the size of Manhattan jumping through Egypt might be a metaphor, and not literal.”

In short the Torah obligates us to follow the Torah shebicsav and the Torah shebalpeh. (Unless the issue is clearly avodah zarah, even if it is potentially heretical it is between you and God. Duties of the heart says most frum Jews are unwitting pantheists.) We are encouraged to have emunas chachamim, and trust that the gedolim are honest, and the mesorah was in tact up until the time of the Rishonim. Therefore if all the Rishonim agree on an explanation of the Talmud or Medrash we should accept their interpretation. For halacha it is clear that we follow their opinion. For hashkafah there is often debate and it isn’t clear whose opinion to follow. Most of the time it there are no practical consequences. You have every right to side with a particular opinion who is a recognized sage. (However, you might be put in cherem if you print it in a book.)

Regarding your feeling of being uncomfortable with something. You never have to accept something that makes you uncomfortable in the way you mean it. Always try to articulate what is bothering you. That’s part of Machkim es Rabo, one of the 48 Things from the 6th Chapter, 6th Mishna of Pirkey Avot. You may have an obligation to say, “I’m not clear on what this means.” “I find this hard to understand.” And you should badger teachers and Rabbis until someone can explain it to you in a way that sits right with you. However, many great sages had questions that made them “uncomfortable” for years. We don’t always get an answer, but we go to the grave trying.

Thanks again for your question.

Max Weiman
Kabbalah Made Easy, Inc.
www.kabbalahmadeeasy.com

By Simon Synett

Rabbi Akiva had 12,000 pairs of students and they all died in one period because they didn’t treat one-another with respect. In Hebrew shelo nahagu kavod ze-lazeh. (Yevamos 62b) The gemara continues that from that time, the entire world was desolate until Rabbi Akiva took on the five apprentices who would later become the leaders of their generation. Clearly then, Rabbi Akiva and his students were considered as the transmitters of Torah of their time, the greatest scholars and teachers.

Given that, it’s hard for us to grapple with the idea that people of such stature would sink to such a low level of behaviour in their interpersonal relationships that they deserved to be killed off by the Angel of Death. It must have been some deep and pervasive character flaw that was so destructive that they simply weren’t capable of transmitting Torah to the next generation. They had to be wiped out and Rabbi Akiva’s legacy would be passed through a new set of students. Can we put a finger on what the problem was? More importantly, can we make sure we’re not suffering from it?

In Avos 2:2, Rabban Gamliel tells us that Torah study is greatly enhanced by making an honest living, the idea being that combining the two keeps one from pursuing his baser desires and makes him far less likely to transgress the mitzvos. In fact, continues the author, Torah study that isn’t accompanied by work will no doubt lead to a rotten, sinful life.

The text of the Mishna is a little puzzling: For one thing, if the author had intended to point out that you need a livelihood before you can engage in study, then why does he emphasise the need to be doing both? As if to say that even if you have wealth, you need to work, not in order to make a living, but to prevent a descent towards a sinful life.

Secondly, Rabban Gamliel points out the flip side, that any Torah study that isn’t accompanied by melacha – work – is ultimately doomed to bring you to bad ways. He clearly wants to emphasise that it’s not that the lack of work brings you directly to sin, but that the lifestyle will eventually bring you down.

I’d like to suggest a novel way of understanding this that will help us make sense of the death of Rabbi Akiva’s students for not giving respect to each other.

Given that there are whole communities of Jews who champion a lifestyle of Torah study without work, I think we can learn something by making some observations…

This choice of lifestyle is justified by reference to the mystical tradition of the kabbalists, as expressed by Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin in his Nefesh HaChaim. The theme of this work and the underlying philosophy is the idea that the physical world that we exist in is really a means to the end of achieving spiritual delight in the spiritual world.

The spiritual world is the real world and the physical world is a low resolution reproduction, to use a modern analogy. You have to see your actions, not as mundane physical, mechanical processes, but as spiritual levers that make things happen in a Spiritual Reality. True, you can’t see it now, but when your time’s up here, you will see how every single thing that ever issued from your feeble mind, let alone mouth or hands, has contrived to create an Eternal Life that you have to live out forever!

Given that, it’s hardly surprising that if you take this to heart, you’ll want to make sure that everything you do has spiritual significance, and you’ll want to minimise your involvement with mundane activities.

When studied in depth and in context of the entire oral tradition of Judaism, this idea gives us an exhilarating way of looking at everything we do in life, how everything we do has knock on effects way beyond the immediate visible results. It can and should bring us to a fine tuned sensitivity to everything and everyone around us.

With a focus on the spiritual realm, we can come to convince ourselves that any bodily discomfort we’re feeling right now isn’t real, or that the desire to sit and play computer games instead of working isn’t real. This can be a very useful way of thinking. And it really gives us an edge of self control that would otherwise be hard to achieve.

But there’s a danger…

In the hands of lazy people (and aren’t we all a bit lazy) this way of thinking becomes a way of shrugging off the things that happen to us in the here and now, shirking responsibility and ultimately complete disregard for other people and the whole environment.

You see, if you’re trying to place your life’s daily events within a narrative that takes place primarily in the unseen spiritual world, then you must be telling yourself quietly but constantly that “what’s happening now isn’t really happening or at least it isn’t what it seems to be”.

Do you see how if you do that consistently enough you’ll really experience life differently? It will really matter much less to you whether your food is tasty, or whether your clothes are ironed, whether your streets are clean, or whether your kids are screaming. And again, there’s something to be said for being able to achieve that kind of personal peace. I can see the attraction of it.< /sarcasm>

But it doesn’t end there. For so many good people it becomes such a way of life that not only do these things cease to matter to them but they stop even noticing them.

Then, from not noticing your own discomfort it’s so easy to belittle other peoples’ troubles, and especially easy because it’s done in the name of holiness. “After all didn’t we learn that this world is just a means to an end? Don’t you see that if you could overcome your small minded worries you could achieve eternal spiritual bliss?”

Do you see what I’m getting at? The more you focus on the spiritual “reality” the more you numb yourself to physical sensations and eventually you come to care much less about life itself. After all, what could be better for you than to free your soul from the bounds of it’s very mundane and needy body. Why shlepp this lump of meat around with you when you could be soaring in the heavens.

This, I think, explains what Rabban Gamliel is getting at in his Mishna. Torah study, that is engagement in the spiritual world, does go a long way towards freeing you up from your more basic urges. It gives you an outlook that strengthens you when you’re confronted with an internal battle. No doubt.

But without derech eretz – working hard for a living, your disregard for the mundane will bring you down.

Sorry to be trite but we need to get back to basics: “Love your neighbour as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18) – this is a summary of the Torah, says the great sage Rabbi Akiva. Interestingly, the same Rabbi Akiva whose students perished for not showing respect. In fact it may be that he came to recognise this only after that trauma as I’ll show you in a moment.

The self esteem gurus will tell you that from here there’s an imperative to love yourself, for otherwise how are you to love your neighbour “as yourself”.

But Judaism is primarily a call to action so love isn’t defined by a purely psychological idea. Rather as Hillel the Elder explains, the deal here is that if you wouldn’t want something done to you, DON’T do it to others. Full stop.

That means that instead of trying to minimise your sensations of things that you’d rather avoid, you should actively cultivate a sensitivity to them, otherwise how will you know what not to do to others? You have to be 100% present in the here and now, feeling pleasure and pain with full sensation. If you do that you can start “loving your neighbour as yourself”.

Lo nahagu kavod – they didn’t treat each other with respect. Kavod, the word used for respect, comes from the Hebrew word meaning weight. This indicates that at the root of giving respect to someone or something is giving it the appropriate weight. You have to see the whole picture and you also have to get to the heart of how that person fits in, who he is and how he is important. When you do that, kavod, or respect flows naturally.

Perhaps Rabbi Akiva’s students were such scholars, so immersed in spiritual pursuits that they just weren’t able to engage one another in a way that led to true kavod. They related to one another as they related to themselves, as primarily spiritual beings. They didn’t pay much attention to the outer features and it didn’t occur to them that they were missing out. But they were. Completely. They could not possibly be trusted to transmit the Torah to the next generation because they would transmit their warped world view along with it.

Rabbi Akiva himself needed to come to the recognition that love your neighbour as yourself was the axis upon which the Torah turns, and to transmit that through his new students.

By Shlomo

I grew up in a relatively unaffiliated Jewish household. About ten years ago, I began on my path of religious observance. I studied in Yeshivas in America and in Israel, learning what it meant to be an observant Jew. However, I never was able to “fit the mold”. Anyone who knows me knows that I march to my own drum and that I am fiercely independent. I had no issues being the only one in shul wearing a sweater while every other male wore a suit. I believe that the community or Rabbi you chose is a reflection of yourself and who/where you want to be and fit in. I don’t go to an orthodox shul, nor do I define myself as Orthodox or with any other affiliation for that matter. I find myself as sort of a religious hodgepodge. There are things I like from all forms of Judaism, and I incorporate them into my life. I am just as comfortable in a conservative shul as in an orthodox one and I am not afraid to find spirituality in any nook possible. Yet, I know and observe more halacha that many people who define themselves as orthodox.

I recently bumped into someone I knew from my early Baal Teshuvah days at a Jewish Eastern spirituality event that used these forms of spirituality within a Jewish context. I was very surprised to see him there, although I do see Chassidim and other frum people at gatherings like this on occasion. To be frank, these practices are clearly not stamped by the OU :) This “acquaintance” of mine was clearly new to this “path”, and was trying something new. We spoke after the event, and he asked me if I was still a Baal Teshuvah. Oddly enough, I have never not considered myself to be a Baal Teshuvah. Granted, I practice in ways that are different than most readers of this blog, but I have found a level of Shabbat, kashrut, and daily observance that is right for me. I have always taken to heart the midrash that each soul heard a different torah at Har Sinai, and I am practicing mine.

Along my spiritual path, I have met hundreds of Jews who have connected to their faith at a later age, although not in what we know as an orthodox context. It never occurred to me until this person unintentionally questioned my status as a Baal Teshuvah that I might not be. I have friends who I dormed with at Yeshiva that are now Chabadnicks and others that are reform.

So, my question is: is anyone who has taken it upon themselves (aleynu) to find a deep, personal, and spiritual form of Judaism deserving of the title “Baal Teshuvah”.

On Friday night, I heard a story – about a businessman in Baltimore who returned to Judaism late in life. Though he did not have the skills in Torah study of many of his new found peers, he found other ways to express his commitment to Torah and Jewish life – through tzedakah, charity and good deeds. For him and his wife, tzedakah was personal – it became for them what Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik describes as a ‘worshipful performance’ – an expression of their personalities in the service of G-d.

But then came Lehman and AIG, and the story that continues on the front page of every paper – that is, those papers not put out of business by the crisis. His portfolio declined forty-five percent; his profits diminished; his expenses, however, were on the rise. The couple hoped to continue giving as they had in previous years, though given their circumstances, they had already fulfilled their obligation for charity – even when defined by the most maximalist measure. So committed was his wife, however – even willing to give up her comfortable home for more modest quarters – that she encouraged her husband to consult a legal authority in Israel about their predicament. The rabbi answered quickly: of course the businessman – now down on his luck – had fulfilled his obligations. But, the rabbi added, if he and his wife were to find a cause which they found truly worthy, then further donations would be meritorious. Thinking through the advice of the sage, the couple determined to adjust their lifestyle – so they would be able to give close to the level they had in previous years.

An inspirational story – though it continues.

Only a few days later, the businessman received a phone call from a Swiss broker – who managed a large portion of his funds. It seems an error had been made – holdings had not been properly cataloged, account statements not properly calculated. The bottom line – the opposite of the Madoff story! – a surplus of funds in the range of several million dollars! Not only did this cover his previous losses, but the newly found income made the couple wealthier than ever before!

A triumphant look from the one telling the story; smiles all around, but when the warm fuzzy feeling dissipated, I thought of another story – that of Abraham, his uncle Haran, and the wicked tyrant Nimrod.

Our sages tell us that when Terach discovered his son’s belief in one G-d, he turned him over to Nimrod, who threw him in a fiery furnace: ‘if your G-d is so powerful,’ Nimrod boasted to Abraham, ‘let him rescue you!’ Standing on the sidelines, Uncle Haran calculated – ‘if Abraham gets torched, then I am with Nimrod; if he survives, I’m with Abraham.’ When Abraham emerged triumphantly from the furnace, Nimrod asked Haran – ‘whose side are you on?’ True to his prepared script, Haran answered – ‘For Abraham!’ And then Nimrod threw Haran into the fire where he was burnt to a crisp.

Haran makes his calculations not on principle, but on cost-benefit. Not because of his faith in G-d, but because of hopes of reward. ‘If Abraham turns out to be father of all the nations of the world, I will be his right-hand man… and if not – thinking like an Israeli politician – I’ll find something to do in Nimrod’s government.’

The message of this story is similar: do a good deed, and get properly compensated. It’s as if I’m saying to G-d: ‘Let’s be business partners… I’ll do my share, the mitzvos; you protect my family from hardship, and if you can throw in some earthly reward (BMW 320i in black please), that will also be fine. So whatever I give to you G-d, I will expect the dividends.’

This is what Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik calls the mentality of a religion for children – the pragmatic quid pro quo, the calculation and anticipated receipt of my just returns. But it’s not only childish – it’s dangerous. What happens when G-d isn’t the business partner I expect? Do I break off the business arrangement? After all, childish expectations do yield to disappointment. The facile stories of simple reward – our sages tell us we don’t know the nature of the reward for any given mitzvah – may lead to not just disappointment, but despair. ‘This business arrangement,’ I might think, ‘is not working out the way I had anticipated. Not at all.’ And then what?

The couple from Baltimore did the right thing – an inspiring thing. Even – or especially – without the results. With the coda of wealth and reward – thank G-d that it was, in this case, the outcome – it becomes part of the literature for a religion for children where there is always a happy ending. Though we may hope – and pray – for such endings, our ‘end’ in the moment in which we live is to transform ourselves through mitzvos that bring us close to the divine. So the story of the businessman from Baltimore, without the coda of the guaranteed happy ending, fits in a different and more demanding canon of stories – that of a religion which a fellow blogger calls ‘complex,’ or more simply a religion for adults.

The purveyors of the happy endings – and in our post-holocaust generation there is, strangely, a near cultural obsession with such stories – assume there are no longer any adults in the audience. I’m betting otherwise. Am I wrong?

Dr. Moshe Kaplan

If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race… Properly, the Jew ought hardly to be heard of… but he is as prominent on the planet as any other people… The Jew saw [the Egyptians, Babylonians, Persians, Greeks and Romans], beat them all, and is now what he always was… All things are mortal but the Jew; all other forces pass, but he remains. What is the secret of his immortality?

The Jew is that sacred being who has brought down from heaven the everlasting fire, and has illumined with it the entire world. He is the religious source, spring, and fountain out of which all the rest of the peoples have drawn their beliefs and their religions. The Jew is the pioneer of liberty. The Jew is the pioneer of civilization. The Jew is the emblem of eternity.

The Jews have done more to civilize men than any other nation… They are the most glorious nation that ever inhabited this Earth. The Romans and their empire were but a bubble in comparison to the Jews. They have given religion to three-quarters of the globe and have influenced the affairs of mankind more and more happily than any other nation, ancient or modern.

The secret of the Jews’ immortality is our relationship with the Divine. We are each to sanctify ourselves and make ourselves holy – and by so doing be partners with God in building the world. This is the charge implied in the famous verse, “As for the heavens, the heavens are God’s, but the earth He has given to mankind” (Psalms 115).

Turnus Rufus the Wicked once asked Rabbi Akiva:

“Whose works are better, the works of God or the works of human beings?”

Rabbi Akiva answered, “The works of human beings…”

Rufus then asked him, “Why do you circumcise?”

Rabbi Akiva replied. “knew that you were asking about this. That is why I anticipated your question by saying that the works of human beings are better.”

Turnus Rufus objected, “But if God wanted man to be circumcised, why didn’t He arrange for boys to be born that way?”

Rabbi Alkiva answered, “Because the Holy One, Blessed is He, gave the commandments to Israel so we could be purified through theme (Midrash Tanchuman, Tazria 5)

God’s gift to humankind, created in the Divine image, is the existence of spirituality beyond physicality. Besides impurity and death there is also the possibility of purity and eternal life.

We have the power to overcome our physical impediment and imperfections. We can ennoble and sanctify our animal drives and instincts. By doing so, we perfect human nature and redeem an imperfect world, for the route to a life of sanctity requires making sacred the materialistic and mundane around us.

Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz, zt”l, mashgiach of the Mir Yeshiva, explains:

Whereas all other living things are created essentially in a state of completion and need only to grow in size and mass, man is created as raw potential and must invest a great deal of effort to becomewhat he was meant to be. A human being’s goal is to strive toward perfection, knowing it can never be achieved. This is man’s mission.

God created the world to bestow His kindness upon us. This world is beautiful and magnificent, but it nevertheless needs completion and perfection. This is accomplished, first and foremost, by our strengthening our weaknesses, repairing our transgressions, and sublimating our drives to sanctify God’s creation. Each defect in the acts of individual people ultimately impacts on the entire universe.

We are given free moral choice, but we have responsibility. Just as a passenger in a boat cannot drill a hole under his seat and tell others to mind their own business, so we cannot say that our actions only affect us individually. We have an obligation to strive for wholeness, balancing and harmonizing our needs with the needs of our neighbors, friends, and loved ones – contradictions and all.

When a person enters the world he becomes a hired watchman for his body and soul and, as an adult, is responsible for all his behavior except for unusual events beyond his control. Fulfilling that responsibility by perfecting his behavior is what makes a person holy.

This is not a simple charge, nor is the best route to achieve it always obvious. However, many people have made the journey and can offer us their experience if we seek it. Some of those experiences are joyous, some trials, but all provide insight in how to achieve true sanctity rather than an illusion.

In our own lives, we must view our own joys and trials through the lens of trust in our Maker. We must understand that ultimately everything under His aegis (meaning absolutely everything!) is for the good – and use the experience with which He provides us to sanctify ourselves and the world. In so doing, we will accomplish much more than a private communion with God. Just as an organism only functions well when all its parts are whole and healthy, so does the world only function optimally when all its players act according to the Divine law. Playing by His rules will allow everyone’s goal to be achieved. Trying to “beat the system” will eventually run everyone into the ground.

Inasmuch as Jews were made a separate nation for the sole purpose of increasing God’s glory in the world (otherwise they could have been left in Egypt), any action that does no contribute toward that goal is misplaced. Not that Jews lack value as individuals, but their value is not that of an island, bu rather of a flower in a flower garden-beautiful by itself, be also part of the garden.

As an example, one who takes pleasure from the world without acknowledging the Creator properly is said to be stealing from both God and the Jewish people. By misusing the world, one distances God from His people, and thus essentially robs both of their relationship. For God is driven, so to speak, from a world that could have been holy. Thus, an individual who abandons his responsibilities as a member of the people that can make God’s presence manifest has done damage to the entire nation’s purpose for existence.

Judaism is not just a religion, it is a way of life. It is meant to be lived on the road, at work, at the gym, ball game, and table. Different people with their different strengths and weaknesses can more easily sanctify different aspects of life, but all are obligated to work toward holiness in every area. Judaism understands God to measure people by how hard they try, not by what they accomplish – but in spiritual matters all are obligated to try! Saintliness is not expected only of some “chosen few.” We must all aim for it, because we all have the potential to attain it in some measure.

Many religious systems disdain the physical and preach that the soul triumphs through denial. They believe that physical pleasure seduces a person away from spirituality. This is not the Jewish point of view. Used properly, the physical becomes an invaluable and indispensable aid in the acquisition of spiritual greatness. Our job is to take the worldly gifts that God gives us and elevate them to the heights of holiness – to combine the physical with the spiritual. Physical pleasure finds its place as a subject for gratitude to the One who created physical enjoyment. However, the misuse of physical pleasure has led to all of humanity’s struggles, suffering, and unrest. What is needed is the proper fusing of license and restraint, to elevate us and create harmony, serenity, gladness, and joy – holy goals.

Pleasure is holy and pure when it is measured, when the supervising intellect ensures against both excess and denial, and provides the proper intent. Overindulgence in any area of one’s physical life, even in the most kosher activity, becomes spiritually destructive. The challenge, then, is to free ourselves of the domination of selfish and self-destructive desires and make room for our longing for the Divine.

How are we to know the proper balance in matters of physical pleasure? For many, common sense is sufficient. For others, help can be found in the traditional sources, such as Rambam (Maimonides), or from a mentor. In any case, both excessive indulgence and excessive self-deprivation must be guarded against. We are called to account in Heaven, it is told, for those things we could have legitimately enjoyed and didn’t. The sages of the Talmud say it is no feat to remain pure by fasting and retiring from the world. The real accomplishment is to live in the world, doing what is permitted and avoiding what is prohibited. Judaism is not a life lived only for bold moments and heroic feats. Rather it values and nurtures the everyday details that bring one closer to God’s light.

So there is the challenge, given by God to those who choose to take it up. But it is not an even choice. On the one side is sanctity and life. On the other, spiritual death. Nor is it possible not to choose. Choosing not to move forward toward holiness inevitably pushes a person toward a wasteland of spiritual destruction.

Becoming an integrated, holy person requires sanctifying every aspect of one’s personal behavior using all of one’s God given abilities and resources. According to one’s success in this endeavor, so will he be judged, in this world and in Heaven. As it says in Avos (Ethics of Our Fathers):

	Who has wisdom? He who learns from everyone.
	Who has strength? He who conquers temptation.
	Who has wealth? He who is content with his lot.
	Who has honor? He who respects others.

In the end, one’s worth is determined by one’s character and spiritual achievements.

The Maharal explains that the years of a person’s life are like a spiral – we pass over the same ground each year, but move higher with each cycle. A wise person knows that life is a gift that can be utilized well or badly, and that it is never too late to change for the better. Every minute that we are alive there is hope.

As Avos (Ethics of Our Fathers) further states:

“You are not expected to complete your work, but neither are you free to abandon it.”

It is my hope that this book will give you a start on the how and why of being God’s partner in the creation of the world and ourselves.

“Excerpt from “A Wholly Life” compiled by Moshe Kaplan, MD.
Click here to get this book for free – just $4.95 for U.S. shipping”

The Crash of the Heavens.
The Power, Mercy and Wisdom of the Almighty Creator and the Miracle of Flight 1549.

by Dovid Zechariah Schwartz
Dovid Schwartz is writing now at the Zeh Journal

The miracle of Flight 1549, the US Airways jet that had both engines knocked out by birds and safely landed on the Hudson River, saved not only the lives of all 150 passengers and 5 crew members aboard. In a spectacular suspension of the laws of probability and nature, the jet avoided one of our deepest fears: it did not collide with any of the hundreds upon hundreds of densely-populated buildings surrounding Manhattan Island, greater New York City and eastern New Jersey.

But more than that, in a very real sense, it drove home a stunning portrait of the power and mercy of the Almighty Creator.

Governor David Paterson rightly declared the event a miracle. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg credited the “masterful” control of the aircraft displayed by the pilot. These two statements aren’t contradictory.

Mr. Sullenberger, a pilot who has flown for almost three decades for United Airlines, and a retired military fighter pilot, deserves great praise for his heroism. He demonstrated consummate skill in guiding the troubled plane to safety. But the skill of the pilot alone does not fully account for this salvation.

The Almighty G-d acts to imbue human beings with added awareness, control and coolness of mind. These traits are something that a trained fighter pilot like Mr. Chesley Sullenberger III had the ability to access, in general, but they are by no means generated by the intrinsic nature of the pilot himself. The Almighty Creator acts through human beings by giving added awareness to those who are worthy of helping Him carry out His great designs.

There is the skill that allowed Mr. Sullenberger to safely land the plane. But behind that, there was the will of the Almighty Creator Who allowed Mr. Sullenberger to use his full gifts of skill and control. And even more stunning, it was the will of the Almighty that the whole situation should have unfolded in such a shocking manner. Many people were left scratching their heads, saying, “Two birds can take out a plane’s engine?” The calamity, the disaster, and the threat all show the Almighty’s power.

We might understand the involvement of the Divine influence through human beings in the following manner. Human consciousness itself is bounded, and the ability to perceive danger and respond appropriately takes an enormous influx of awareness that, sadly, is not granted to many people on a constant basis. The ability to perceive danger, and to respond appropriately, is often generated by the desire and initiative of each human being himself. One who seeks to deepen his understanding of the world is rewarded by the Almighty Creator with greater insight and understanding. Those who do not stir themselves to seek understanding are often left the passive victims of the the winds of fate and chance.

With that said, we’d like to take a moment to reflect on two important lessons of faith that we can take from the miracle of Flight 1549. The first is the supreme power, and the second is the loving mercy of the Almighty Creator.

First, we see G-d’s power, from the way He was able to take out the plane in such an extraordinary fashion. Many people first suspected terrorism was involved in the downing of the airliner. It seemed laughable that such a sleek, powerful tool of technology can be rendered completely useless by a flock of geese. But whatever He wants to do, the Almighty G-d makes it happen. G-d has many messengers, and He may bring an event through the hands of terrorists, or through the flight of a couple of Canadian geese if He chooses.

Second, we can see from this miracle the mercy of the Creator, that G-d cares about human beings. Human life is valuable in His eyes, and He can sometimes perform miracles to interrupt the order of nature to protect and save human beings.

This salvation is also a rebuke to pagans who hold that the world is merely a collection of intermingling, independent forces. Pagans (and their modern-day offspring, atheists and secularists) view human beings as the pinnacle of all creation and pretend that man is free to engage at his leisure in taking up whatever powers that suit his fancy. Alternatively, other dogmas hold that the world is a fixed, monolithic block of powers where even the Almighty Gd Himself is powerless to intervene, G-d forbid, to save human beings.

The ability of the Almighty Creator to suspend the laws of probability and the raging forces of nature demonstrates His supreme power over all other forces.

Not only the power of the Almighty Creator was displayed when He interrupted the natural order to save Flight 1549. Also, the love of the Almighty Creator for human beings was displayed by His great mercy in saving every passenger, down to an infant in its mothers arms.

The fact that the Almighty Creator cared enough about human beings to save each and every passenger and crew member from death, against the natural order of the world, deals a sharp rebuke to ruthless religious extremists who give little value to human life as they try to advance their ideological and political goals. The vicious pretense of “suicide bombings” and calls for martyrdom in the name of radical religion shows how little these extremists value human life. People who claim that they are acting on behalf of G-d when they intentionally murder and hide themselves behind unarmed civilians are liars and frauds of the most sinister type.

It may be no coincidence that the day this miracle fell on was also the day it was announced that one of the dark masters of violence and bloodshed, one of the top commanders of the Hamas terrorist organization, Said Siam, his name should rot, was wiped off the earth by soldiers for the State of Israel in Gaza. This man championed a philosophy of brute force, bloodshed and uncompromising resistance at any cost. Callous disrespect for human life was evident by his planned attacks, and his cowardly hiding behind, unarmed civilians.

Because the world is interconnected, and all under the guidance and direction of the One G-d, in this writer’s opinion, a military victory that advances the cause of safety, accountability, justice and stability for civilization can have massive ripple effects in strengthening the Divine human spirit in every person, throughout the world. These miracles increase the sum total of salvations in the world, and we hope it may bring us a little closer to behold the ultimate in salvations, when the whole earth is united in cooperation and mutual self-interest guided by a recognition of the power and mercy of Almighty Creator and an acceptance of His wisdom in the authority of His laws.

Sadly enough, the inspiration of miracles dissipates quickly. Every person who was moved by this stirring event should turn this inspiration into action. Now is the time to take out a book, do an internet search, or talk to a reliable authority about deeping our own relationship with the Almighty Creator. The Almighty G-d has entrusted the laws that bind all mankind, called the Seven Laws of Noah, for safekeeping to the faithful Jewish people (also known as “Orthodox” Jews. These laws for all the nations are a separate set of laws from the 613 that bind the Jewish people themselves.

Throughout their history, the Jewish people have focused mainly on learning and elucidating the laws appliable to them alone. But every human being has a share in joining in a robust investigation and dialogue about the ways in which the Almighty Creator expects all people to conduct ourselves, in the laws that form the universal standard for all mankind. Why let this miracle fly by, when we can use the opportunity to reach back up to G-d and invite Him to come into our own lives as well?

Written by: Gemma

I got speaking to a mother who had reluctantly just sent her daughter to seminary. She wasn’t religious herself but was angry that her daughter had become religious and couldn’t understand what she saw in Judaism.

I got to the root of the problem – she then told me that Judaism was forced down her throat, “Do this! Why? Because that’s how it must be done!” She said she rebelled the opposite way, she wasn’t going to listen to that. She couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be religious, “it’s like being in prison, you can’t do anything you want, your whole life is controlled – “you can’t do this, this and this!”

Judaism was very prescriptive in her generation, she was turned off. She rebelled. Now her daughter is doing the opposite, thereby creating guilt on the mother’s behalf. Had the daughter come up with any other dietary requirement I’m sure she’d only be too pleased. The reason why there exist so many unobservant Jewish families is because the only way the older generations were taught was through force, prescriptive and seemingly meaningless laws. There was no Jewish thought, philosophy, mussar (ethics) and other works which we are fascinated by today, no nice “vorts.” And because of this, their kids have the same perception of Judaism, i.e. a burden.

I think, therefore, that perhaps the challenge of our generation is to remodel Judaism into its true essence. Judaism isn’t a load of laws and don’t-do’s; that’s missing the whole point. You can’t keep Shabbat simply by not driving, not turning on lights, not cooking, etc without doing the positive mitzvot on the day like making Kiddush, special davening, family time, self-reflection, special food and delicacies, learning with our children and wearing our best clothes. Judaism and happiness go together; if you don’t have the latter you’re not doing the former properly. “Ivdu et Hashem b’simcha” – serve Hashem with joy, King David tells us.

One of the best ways to experience true Judaism is by seeing it in action. Most unobservant Jews will regard Shabbat as restricting and boring, yet how many of them have actually seen a religious family on Shabbat? They’ve not seen the atmosphere around a real Shabbos table, they’ve not watched the wife being praised, the children being blessed, the beautiful songs, fine food and spirituality. And maybe that’s where we as observant Jews have to take responsibility. We have to not only retain our tremendous hospitability but we have to perform our mitzvot with joy and enthusiasm. If we look like we’re watching paint dry in shul on Shabbos morning or if we talk to Hashem the way we talk to the tax man then that’s exactly how mitzvot will be perceived; not only by other Jews but by our children. It’s all very well to say that Judaism is great, but we have to show it’s great. Not through being fake and acting like it is, but by truly believing it is.

Originally posted here.

I don’t personally celebrate Halloween because it has pagan roots, but as long as the dark forces are on people’s minds, I offer this clarity for you on the topic of Satan.

Sympathy for the Devil

One of the top ten common misconceptions about religion and spirituality is the concept of the Devil. Who is Satan and what is his purpose? Where does the concept come from?

We all sense a craving towards spirituality and meaning, and at the same time we share a desire to do the wrong thing, kill and steal, to insult and eat fatty foods. We intuitively know there is a dichotomy in the world and in ourselves. Did you ever feel like smacking someone even though you knew in your heart it was wrong? (Those of you with teenage children need not even answer that one.)

Flip Wilson used to say “The Devil made me do it.” Of course the Devil can’t make you do something but he can sure tempt you. Life’s circumstances can be tempting from the outside, and we can have desires on the inside. Is that the Devil or your own bad self?

In kabbalah the forces of desire, evil inclination, temptations to stray from morality and spirituality all seem to be one. The three main entities that we find in the texts are Satan, the “evil inclination”, and the Angel of Death, and all represent the same united force.

The Meaning of Life

If you understand well the meaning of life, you have no problem understanding Satan and the “evil inclination”, known as the “yaitzer hara”. We are put on this earth at this time to struggle to connect to the Infinite Being. In order to have an arena of challenge, we must have a desire to go away from God to fight against.

The Satan and yaitzer hara provide the challenge. This force is designed by God and follows strict rules He placed into the spiritual realm. Satan cannot go against God’s will, as an angel or spiritual force, he operates like a puppet of the Almighty, providing the exact spiritual challenges that we need at any given moment in time.

In fact, each and every person is judged based on their own set of circumstances external and internal, which makes it impossible to judge your fellow man because you don’t know their history or internal make-up. Maybe they are naturally a born murderer and hot-head and they have worked hard to control themselves and become just an average rude person. You may think this guy is a big jerk but in reality they are extremely righteous given their challenges. Another person much more pleasant to be with my have been born with a gentle demeanor and has never struggled to make him/herself any better.

To put it a different way, you are put here to make spiritual touchdowns and the Satan is like a linebacker paid to block your path. But the linebacker is purposely designed in a way that you always have the ability to make your way past him. You might not be able to bowl him over; you might have to outsmart him, tell him his shoes untied, fake to the left and go to the right, or some other maneuver. If he stops you, then your job is to review the tape and see how you can avoid him the next time. (The verb “leSatan” means to block and is used in Numbers 22:22 this way. An angel blocks the path of Bilaam when he goes to meet with Balak to curse the nation of Israel.)

The Big Mistake

So the existence of Satan is real and part of daily life. The mistake then is that people think Satan has a separate existence, power, and purpose than God. Many think Satan is somehow avoiding God’s domain and tempting people to sin when God’s not looking. This is not only wrong, but philosophically impossible. Nothing can happen without God’s will accepting it on some level. God wants Satan to tempt us and He wants us to withstand the temptation. He designs the challenges according to our spiritual level and need for growth. If we need to develop patience, God sends Satan to test our patience.

Duties of the Heart by Rabbi Ibn Pakuda tells us that even frum people make mistakes in understanding the nature of God’s omnipotence. We need to be careful not to give the yaitzer hara or Satan any power on their own, they are an extension of HaShem’s will.

Satan does nothing without God’s approval. He’s a servant of God. This is clear from the beginning of the Book of Job that starts with God and Satan having a conversation where God says Job’s a great guy, and Satan says Job is only righteous because he hasn’t been tested with suffering. Let him suffer and he’ll turn against the Lord. God says, ok then go and test him. While this type of conversation may be more metaphor than reality, it shows the basic relationship between God and Satan. The Almighty designed a spiritual universe with angels that help and angels that test. There are prosecuting attorneys, so to speak, and defending attorneys. Satan is the primary prosecuting angel.

We don’t hate Satan, and he doesn’t hate us. He was created to test us, which is our greatest asset and opportunity to accomplish spiritual greatness and closeness to God.

Max Weiman
www.kabbalahmadeeasy.com

Is it permissible to be angry with God? I asked this question in a recent survey and found many people believe it is.

Some people answered that it is permissible because it is part of our free will. This came as a surprise to me because we obviously do not share a clear definition of free will. So let’s start with that. Because definitions are crucial.

I found this out recently when my two year old informed me she had just finished washing something she had in her mouth. Later I saw her swishing something around in the toilet bowl and when I asked her what she was doing she said, “I’m washing it.”

Free will is the ability to do something. We have the ability to get up in the morning and nobody wants to stop us. In Jewish philosophy, however, free will takes on a different meaning. It refers to the ability to choose between right and wrong. These choices affect us spiritually and sometimes moral choices affect our future and our afterlife. God gives us free will to choose right and wrong because that makes us more like God. Inanimate objects and spiritual beings make no choices. Animals make choices out of instinct. Only human beings have the ability to make moral choices, and those choices have a way of defining who we are.

(Some sages suggest that the point of free will inside you is the epitome of the soul, the true you. Just in case you need reminding, it says in the Zohar “What then is man? Does he consist solely of skin, flesh, bones, and sinews? No, the essence of man is his soul; the skin, flesh, bones and sinews are but an outward covering, the mere garments, but they are not the man. When man leaves (this world) he divests himself of all these garments.”)

Therefore the ability to do something does not define it as right or wrong. We have the free will to be angry with God, but that doesn’t make it right.

Anger and Happiness

Anger does not have to destroy happiness, but it often does. We generally have a difficult time having two emotions at the same time. That’s why some behavioral psychologists recommend focusing on a different emotion when you want to change the emotion you’re feeling. If you are jealous of your sister’s millionaire husband, one way to remove that jealousy is to remove it by focusing on her husband’s lack of a sense of humor. This elicits feelings of pity which wipe away the feeling of jealousy. Two emotions are hard to hold onto. We can be tired or in pain and happy, like if you just finished first in a marathon. Every bone in your body aches, but you’re deliriously happy. But being tired or in pain is not an emotion. Anger and happiness don’t sit well together.

Are you angry with God for any your “slings and arrows” that you have experienced? Do you feel guilty about being angry with God?

It is only human and natural for us to be angry with God on occasion. If you have never experienced this then you might not be paying attention. When a hurricane causes a flood that displaces the entire city of New Orleans, we all have mixed emotions. Some of us are angry with God. When we read about Darfur, the holocaust, the inquisition, or any of life’s tragedies, we sometimes get angry with God. Whether or not this is appropriate, since it is a natural human reaction, even if it is wrong, the Almighty understands and takes our nature into account. He designed us and knows our failings. He does not look to punish those who are innocent.

Belief in God

A woman once told me that she didn’t believe in God anymore since she lost her son. Something about the way she said it sounded very much to me like she was trying to get back at God. So I said, “I don’t think you don’t believe in God. I think you’re angry with God.” And she agreed.

To be angry at God is actually one of the greatest mitzvot. It shows you believe in the God of Israel. That He is loving, all knowing, and all-powerful. That He is involved with our lives and at arms length to help or heal. If you didn’t believe all these things you wouldn’t be angry with Him.

Of course from a more holistic philosophical perspective, we may come to the conclusion that we are not really angry with God. We are merely in pain. The anger comes from not understanding God’s love. As finite beings, we can’t always fathom the will of the Almighty. After all, we have to admit that if there is an Infinite Being, He must be a little wiser than we are. And He may allow things to happen or even do things Himself that we just can’t comprehend. If you are not a doctor you probably won’t comprehend why cutting someone open and removing a piece of their insides might be the best thing for them. But we’ve seen it happen enough times that we are familiar with it. We’ve seen the positive outcome. The dilemma with God’s will is that we won’t be privy to the positive outcome until one of two things happen: either we die and go to the world of truth and understanding, or God ushers in the final chapter in the saga of life.

Knowing this doesn’t stop the pain of our loss, problem or challenge, but it allows us to move forward without anger. And without anger, the happiness again will bubble to the surface. We may not be able to be angry and happy and the same time. But we can be in pain and still be happy.

In short, we should not feel guilty about being angry with God. A. Because we are human B. It shows we believe in God. But ideally we want to increase our bitachon through meditation on God’s love or reading mussar on bitachon like Shar Bitachon from Duties of the Heart.

First Published on April 24, 2006

Sefirah is viewed by the Sefer HaChinuch and many other Rishonim as a long Chol Hamoed between Pesach and Shavuous to get ourselves ready as a people and individually for the Kabalas HaTorah that occurs each year on Shavuous. It is interesting that the aveilus associated with the death of the talmidim coincides with this period. Obviously, we can only experience growth in Torah via Tikun HaMidos. R A Z Weiss in his Hakdamah to Minchas Asher on Shabbos makes this point.

I haven’t seen this observation elsewhere, so here is a possibly novel idea- Perhaps, the episode of the death of R’ Akiva’s talmidim as described in the Talmud (Yevamos 62b) is designed to teach us that quality matters over quantity, inasmuch as R Akiva’s original 24,000 talmidim were decimated to the point whereby only four of his talmidim were left to spread Torah.

Many of you know the accomplished talmid chachim, Rabbi Yitzchok Adlerstein as the co-founder of the popular Cross-Currents web site.

Rabbi Adlerstein will be traveling to the East Coast to be the
Scholar in Residence at
Congregation Ahavas Yisroel 147-02 73rd Avenue on this coming
Shabbos, Parshas P’kudei, March 7th-8th.
Rabbi Alderstein will be speaking three times and we invite anybody in the neighborhood next Shabbos to please come and listen. Here is the schedule:

“Orthodoxy and Orthodopraxy – Deed and Creed in the Light of the Rambam’s Ikarie Emunah”
Friday Night, March 7th, 2008 – 9:00 PM

Shabbos Morning Drasha (Shacharis begins at 8:30 AM)

“Maharal and Rav Kook’s Views on Aggadah”
Shalosh Seudos – (Mincha begins at 5:10 PM)

———————————————

In anticipation of his visits, we took the opportunity to ask Rabbi Alderstein a few questions:

Q) Why did you originally start Cross-Currents?

[RYA] While he may be surprised for the credit, Cross-Currents owes itself to the vision of the Novominsker Rebbe, shlit”a. Jonathan Rosenblum and I are kindred spirits in many ways. We were both involved in different ways in trying to change the way media looked at Torah and Torah Jews. It happened that I was visiting Har Nof the same time the Novominsker was there, and Jonathan and I decided to go over and lobby for his support for a dedicated effort at frum hasbara. It didn’t take much lobbying. The Rebbe was ahead of us. He felt that it was important for Torah Jews to correct misconceptions, even if such attempts would convince no one. Kavod HaTorah itself, he said, required that we polish up the luster lost to those who tried to cheapen it. Am Echad was really born at that meeting. Among other ideas, he suggested a regularly published English language journal of creative and topical Torah thought whose target audience would specifically lie outside the traditional boundaries of the “insider” community. Both Jonathan and I wound up campaigning against that idea as too costly in terms of both money and investment of man-hours. The idea remained in limbo until the ubiquitous use of the internet changed much of the calculus. Yaakov Menken kept pushing me to get involved in a blog. At the time, I was self-publishing a listserv-based e-magazine on items of interest to the Torah Jew appearing in general literature. It occurred to me that if I changed my publication into a group blog, we could accomplish what the Rebbe had suggested, essentially cost-free. Yaakov and I put together a tentative list of invitees. We were interested only in people who had already written enough that they had some name recognition in the general Torah public, and we quickly got together a list of what today are considered senior contibutors. The rest is history. We are certainly not one of the largest mega-blogs, but we know that thousands are reading us, and many of them are passing along our material to secondary and tertiary markets. Reuters religion page has us listed as a permanent link; influential people in several non-Jewish communities are regulars, along with movers and shakers in the non-Orthodox Jewish world.

Q) What has changed as a result of your experience?

[RYA] I am far more conscious of the capacity of the e-published word to cause massive chilul Hashem, and zeh le’umas zeh, for incredible kiddush Hashem. It boggles the mind that intelligent frum people are not conscious of what they are saying when the entire world is listening, and any remark displaying the slightest bit of prejudice or narrow-mindedness becomes quick cannon-fodder not only for those who mock us, but even for those who wish to annihilate us, c”v. On the kiddush Hashem side, I realized that diversity would stand us in much better stead than sameness, so it became important to me to try to recruit accomplished writers from a broader segment of the Orthodox world. We brought in people further to the right, and people in the center. We have also struggled with guidelines for comments. We are among the strictest in what we will dismiss outright or edit, and we still make mistakes in letting too much through. On the other hand, when we have asked the question, the Torah voices we’ve consulted have urged us not to turn Cross-Currents into an e-magazine with either no comments, or a small handful. They felt that part of the message that we are trying to convey is that we are confident enough in our emunah and our reasoning to be able to handle criticism and disagreement. We’ve steered a middle course between the muzzles imposed by some print publications, and the anything-goes attitude of some of the blogosphere. I’ve also had to yield partially on my concept of the purpose of the blog. I wanted – and still want – all pieces to contain a mixture of creative reaction to current affairs and some Torah content. I’ve argued with colleagues that if a piece could have been written by someone who did not learn in a yeshiva or seminary, it doesn’t belong in Cross-Currents. Not everyone agrees with me.

Another change occurred as I saw how many people were looking for a forum for intelligent discussion of current affairs within the parameters of the Torah community. As Cross-Currents grew, so did a parallel movement in the opposite direction. For a variety of reasons, there is a strong push in some circles (for reasons that have much validity in those circles) for greater and greater insularity. Baalei Teshuva – not all, but certainly significant numbers – are negatively impacted by this. Many of them had and continue to have important ties to the larger world. Part of what made Torah attractive to them was the promise they were given that Torah has something to say about each and every issue that Man faces. These baalei teshuva were starting to see that many of the people around them not only had nothing to say about these issues, but they were completely unaware of them, and when informed about them did not deal with them with any great insight – Torah or otherwise. I believe that it is important to show such people that there are people in the Torah community (closet Hirschians, lots of RWMO and LW haredim, and iconoclastic bnei Torah of all stripes and descriptions) who do share and live by the vision that enticed them to join the ranks of the Torah committed in the first place. This has become a large goal, at least of mine, for CC: giving chizuk to those who for whatever reason are somewhat connected with general thought and issues, and view this involvement positively.

Q) How has the Internet positively or negatively effected Torah observance?

[RYA] It has done both. It has put more Torah material into the hands of people, more opportunities to meet and engage a larger circle of Torah friends, more chances at gaining chizuk from others. On the other hand, it has added many levels of transparency to the Torah world. Faults and deficiencies are not only quickly exposed, but even magnified. This means that some old techniques of community control (not a bad thing in and of itself when done well) and of kiruv are going to fail more quickly. I was always an opponent of using iffy and even false methods to attract people to Yiddishkeit, even when the supposition was that the ersatz would soon be replaced with something of greater value. I was, and continue to be, opposed to the use of the so-called Bible Codes for this reason, as well as ill-founded and poorly conceived “proofs” that won’t hold up to scrutiny. In the internet age, kiruv organizations that use superficiality even as temporary bait are flirting with disaster, as their falsehood will be quickly observed and held out for ridicule. It is yet another reason that the “mass-production” of kiruv is bound to lead to much heartache and personal tragedy, and that parts of the kiruv world need a mid-course correction.

Rabbi Adlerstein is the Director of Interfaith Affairs for the Simon Wiesenthal Center. He holds the Sydney M Irmas Chair in Jewish Law and Ethics at Loyola Law School. He is a co-principal in Jewish Mediation Service, which applies a Jewish ethical approach to problem solving. Rabbi Adlerstein received his ordination from the Chofetz Chaim yeshiva in New York. His translation of Be’er Hagolah, the classic defense of rabbinic Judaism by Maharal of Prague, was published by Artscroll/Mesorah Publications, whose new edition of Ramban he is currently assisting in editorial review.

By “Reuven”

About a month ago I posted The Parental Shidduch Crisis. It was a candid sharing of the crisis I was going through as we searched for our eldest son’s soul mate. The commenters, by and large, were very sympathetic and encouraging. Many also appreciated my insights into this monstrous obstacle for those not raised Orthodox. Suddenly, in the midst of the growing discussion, my sob story radically changed. It looked like we had a shidduch! The joy and suspense of our son’s first “date” was shared with the forum and by the time we announced the Vort there were calls for a sequel. The following article is it.

Now the interesting thing is that just as I was putting the final touches on this post, including the title, I spotted the following comment on Can Beyond BT Be More Inclusive?:

UO = Ultra-Orthodox

This can mean a group that:

1. takes traditional Judaism seriously enough to believe and do it without compromise,

Or:

2. one wants to stigmatize as fanatical or quaint.

On the whole, the UO term is frowned upon by UO people. It’s also frowned upon by others who think the term is not pejorative enough!

Two days later came a full fledged post on this topic, entitled: Ultra Orthodoxy: Not So Inclusive Just Yet. Well, talk about Providence! Apparently there’s much more here than just my personal story.

***********

In The Beginning we were spry and pure hearted, drawing unbelievable inspiration from finding our Creator within some of the most unorthodox of places. Then we discovered Torah. And Orthodox Judaism. The latter were obviously means towards the former. Authentic, time-honored, holy means – but still means. My wife and I respectively made our ways to the Holy land, determined to live an unadulterated life of fulfilling our Creator’s Will.

That’s when we met. Love at first sight.

Our first post marital aim was to find a place where I could learn without towing a party line; where there would be models of genuine Torah wisdom accessible to us both; where it would be understood that we were in search of truth and not Orthodoxy, per se. Certainly not ULTRA Orthodoxy, for G-d’s sake!

With tremendous, humbling guidance from above, we found an exceptional Orthodox Rav who was at ease across the traditional Jewish spectrum. I had the subsequent privilege of learning tons from him, his community, Kollel and home over the next six years. But there were blips. A few very painful ones. We emerged bruised in our view of the integrity of Orthodoxy.

So I returned to university and studied education and psychology. I went on to become an educator among the secular and marginally Orthodox while plugging away at instilling core Torah values within my family. Thank G-d I succeeded in both, but especially the latter. Far more than I could have dreamed of! Especially with our first child, who proved to be quite gifted, (not to tempt the evil eye!), including matters of emuna {faith}. He taught me so much. Thus began a fabulous journey of learning together “what the Torah r-e-a-l-l-y means” as I meditated awestruck on that famous messianic verse:

And he (Eliahu) will return the hearts
of the fathers (back to G-d)
by way of the sons

Slowly but surely my enthusiasm for Orthodoxy returned. And then some. As I was getting progressively familiar with the more esoteric literature and seeing how well my son gained by my filtering it his way, I began to identify with those, um, er, hate to say it, but yes… Ultras. By the time our little tsaddik reached 7th grade we shipped him off to a special chassidic cheider in the next town, donned the garb, I dropped my non-Orthodox teaching career and returned to intensive Torah learning.

Yep. We had become bona fide Ultras.

A few years later, with the encouragement of our new Rebbe, shlit”a, the entire family moved to the community. As much as there were many awkward aspects of trying to integrate into such an insular communal life in midlife, including my utter befuddlement about how to earn a living without compromising on all the newfound spiritual ideals, the nachas we gained from the kids’ progress made it worthwhile. Every day brought new heights of excitement in helping them grow in chochma, kdusha and emuna.

And then came Shiduchim {the time for matchmaking}.

I honestly can tell you that “crisis” barely describes the experience. My heart sunk into places no man has ever gone before. All this talk about people as schora tova {good merchandise}, about sleuthing information from shadchanim, teachers and friends, about nosing into each other’s yichus {lineage}. What can I say? It just didn’t fit my picture of what a life dedicated to G-d was all about. In fact, it felt more like placing my son into a sub-cultural coffin and inviting the community to rejoice over the pounding in of each nail!

And that’s not to mention my dreams of his finding his soul mate as clearly and vibrantly as I had found mine.

*

In Elul the phone calls started. He had just turned 19. We sat our beloved firstborn down for a few long talks. Was he sure he’s ready? Well, he accepts with complete faith that he should try, if this is the norm of such a holy community. Did he know who she should be? Yes… mostly. Are you clear on the life you want to lead? Yes… mostly.

So we swallowed hard and started answering those calls… mostly. At first we played the hush-hush game. Not even the potential groom was to know who was calling. But soon the kids were hopping and giggling with each new ring and we were finding that our heads were spinning with all the non and dis and simply inappropriate information. There were grand offers, creepy offers and a lot of blur in between. How to know? No one was asking about his character nor telling us about her dreams. It was more like why not this or how about that. Like when you’re putting a puzzle together during a cheery vacation laze. Let’s see now, does this one fit? Maybe that one. Well, if not, let’s force it a bit…

My kishkes turned.

Then, one girl from a very reputable family was suggested. Everything about her values and intelligence fit our son. But when we saw her picture and my wife interacted with her in Shul… we just couldn’t connect. The look. Ugh! But is that a reason? Aye-aye-aye. So I asked the Rebbe. He said, before I could barely get the words out: “Trust her. Your wife’s intuition is reliable.”

Pshhh. So much for the proverbial fanaticism of those Ultra-Orthodox Rabbis!

About a week later, the rumors spread like wildfire. They were engaged!! Mazal To…. Oh, really? They’re NOT? Oops. Some friends explained: This can be a tactic to get parents to reconsider.

Double kishke turn. Apparently not all the Ultras are as pure as the Rebbe…

Finally, a couple of months later, just as he was rounding 19 1/3 (the supposed ideal time) we started involving our son in the process. He had always taught us so much, maybe he’d pull through here as well. It was uncomfortable for him, to be sure. It certainly disturbed his learning. But nebach – what could he do. His poor parents needed help!

And so our spirits re-lifted as we observed how deftly he deciphered the wording behind this suggestion and questioned the tones behind that one. He filled us in on the character of this family and the scholarship of that one. It was starting to feel a little fun! Like putting a puzzle together…

Then we heard the spectacular suggestion that led me to write “Shidduch Crisis.” She was perfect. A genuinely modest girl with a noble personality and, most importantly, an aim in life that fit his like a glove. And she didn’t have that weird look. She actually appeared quite charming. So what were we waiting for? Well, hmm, the Shadchan stammered. Her mother, you see, has this thing for yichus {noble lineage}.

Nu-nu. We’ll get around that one, we told ourselves with “perfect” faith. The Rebbe himself, after all, so often emphasizes what an exceptional bachor he is. And her father is gung-ho. And, and, and.

But no. The Ultra-mother wouldn’t budge. She refused to even speak with us.

Ugh, ugh, UGH! Horrendous waves of sadness began to flow. Then came the outrage. Towards G-d! How c-o-u-l-d He? Why bring us all this way and drop us like a sack of potatoes? Why, why, WHY! No. COULDN’T be. It must be “them.” All those twisted, devious Ultras…

*
Our Kallah was suggested a couple of weeks later. I knew something was up by the way the Shadchan sheepishly approached me. He had been actively involved in trying to make that yichus case go. He knew I was broken. So walking over on egg shells, he gently asked if he could suggest something… perhaps… as a friend………. and son?

Son?

Yes. You see, his father, who had hosted us for a number of Shabbos meals during our transition into the community, had mentioned a few times that he’d love to see a match for our son with one of his granddaughters. So if we happen to be “available,” would we consider helping him do this kibud Av {honoring of his father} and hear an offer about the daughter of his brother?

Pshhhhh. THIS was pure. STRAIGHT from Above. For the first time in four months, I could feel my whole system calm down. Soon it would break out in prayer:

ki lo khalu rakhamekha;
ki lo tamu khasadekha

for Your compassion is unending;
for Your kindness has never ceased

The Vort {declaration of intent to engage} was three weeks later. The Tnoiim {official engagement} is scheduled for Sunday, iy”H’. As much as I’d love to share with all of you how exactly the meetings went, I don’t have permission to do so. But I can share a crucial lesson that I humbly admit took me way too long to learn: ULTRA-ORTHOS ARE NOT ALL FANATICS!

Rather, they are ordinary folk who strive to live according to the highest Torah principles. Some succeed, many don’t. What can we do? Serving G-d is h-a-r-d. The hardest thing in the world. But it beckons everyone.

The term ultra, in itself, is actually quite beautiful. According to Webster it means “beyond the range of; on the farther side of.” Don’t you see? That’s what we ALL should be striving for. It’s not the ultra that is the problem but the orthodoxy. The complacency with any one way of thinking. Once we realize how “orthodox” we all are in resistance to our Creator, then we can begin to climb down from our high horses and follow His lead. As the Proverb chides (19:21):
Abundant are the thoughts of man
but the advice of G-d
will prevail

The Holy Zohar explains: What is Divine advice? The 613 Mitzvos. Advice for what? Dveikus, cleaving to your Creator.

Paradoxically, then, Ultra-Orthodoxy is really the most liberating of all traditional Jewish orientations. For people who subscribe to this are devoting their lives to the blessed eternal One. What can be more liberating than that? To be sure, just mouthing or dressing this belief doesn’t do it. In fact, many who merely play the part are greatly suffering and causing others to suffer due to their tremendous pangs of conscience for leading a life of the worst hypocrisy. But this shouldn’t detract from the truth of the aim: “to get beyond the range of, on the farther side of” Orthodoxy.

The side of G-d.

I know this transition is possible if at the least because of what the Rebbe, shlit”a, told me at the end of this whole ordeal. I had asked him about all the Ultra-talk of tying the knot with her family “like everyone does.” He said, in his inimitably sobering way:

“G-o-o-d and s-p-e-c-i-a-l people often DON’T do what everyone does!”

Quote unquote.

He went on to encourage me to stand up for some unusual requests. Like not rushing the Vort immediately upon the couple’s readiness to marry. It’s important for everyone’s yishuv Ha’daas, presence of mind, he stressed, that one comes to such a point after all the issues are settled. Similarly, he supported my interest in writing into the legal agreement that in contrast to all other holydays, her parents should have no expectations of the couple spending Pessach Seder with them. As per the verse (Ex 13): “You should tell it to your son on that day, saying: because of this that G-d did for me in my exodus from Egypt.”

Whoa. Isn’t that extreme? Fanatic? Unfairly imposing on a family to forgo being with their daughter at such a special time? No. It’s a matter of truth. Deep, soul truth. Father-son truth. Truth like I knew way back then, when I was spry and pure hearted; when I was seeking something like the light that’s now dancing within the eyes of my wonderfully Ultra-Orthodox son and new daughter-in-law.

Mazal Tov !

* * *

R’ Gil Student recently pointed to Dennis Prager, writing in Moment magazine about reasons to practice as a Jew. (link) Although many may have seen it, we thought it merited a post here:

1. The Jews are the Chosen People. There is no other rational explanation for the centrality of the Jewish people in history and in the world today. Even anti-Semites—indeed, especially anti-Semites— recognize the pivotal role of this tiny group of people on the world stage. That is why “world Jewish conspiracy” is such a common phrase, while one never hears of “a world Chinese conspiracy” or any other group’s “world conspiracy.” If we are not the Chosen People, there is little compelling reason to raise one’s children as Jews. After Auschwitz, and with significant parts of the Muslim world today advocating another Holocaust, it takes a powerful reason to do so.

2. Just as people need an instruction manual for a camera, they need an instruction manual on how to lead a good, holy and meaningful life. Judaism provides the best one ever written: the Torah.

3. The Torah is a divine document. No book comes close in influencing the world and changing the way human beings behave and think. “Divine” means that God is, ultimately, the Torah’s author. Whether it was given all at once, whether it was dictated word for word, whether it was divinely edited from documents—none of that matters.

4. Understood properly and lived authentically, Judaism is a religion of moderation. Judaism’s approach to animals, for example, teaches reverence for them to the point of including a day of rest for them in the Ten Commandments. Yet it also teaches that human life is infinitely more valuable: humans, not animals, are created in the image of God.

5. Judaism provides immense joy. No religion provides such continuous joy-filled moments as Judaism. I am referring to the weekly celebration of Shabbat and the frequent holidays. Every week I look forward to Shabbat in a way unknowable to non-Jews or Jews who do not celebrate the Sabbath.

6. Judaism provides meaning. What could be more meaningful than being chosen by God to bring humanity to Him and His moral values? Meaning is the greatest human need, even greater than sex. There are people who live without sex and yet lead happy lives. But no person who lives without meaning has a happy life.

7. Judaism provides community. Whether on Shabbat or on holidays, whether in joy—the birth of a child, a wedding—or in crisis or mourning, our religion does not allow us to be alone.

8. Judaism is uniquely preoccupied with good and evil. I have the utmost respect for Christians as the people who made America the greatest country in world history. But their religions are concerned mainly with faith and salvation, and Islam is focused on submission to Allah. Both groups theologically divide the world into the faithful—“dar al-Islam” in Islam and the “saved” in Christianity—and the unfaithful. Judaism, by contrast, divides the world according to moral categories: those who do good and those who do evil. Thus, as the Torah tells us, “the good of all the nations have a portion in the world to come.”

9. Judaism is concerned with the present world. Though Judaism absolutely affirms the afterlife (it is axiomatic that if there is a just God, there is an afterlife), the Hebrew Bible says nothing about what happens to us after death. The moment religion dabbles in the afterlife, it begins to ignore the evils of this life and can even foment evil. The theology of Muslim terrorists and their supporters, for example, rests on a preoccupation with heavenly rewards and a consequent disdain for this life. As Hamas frequently says, “We love death as much as the Jews love life.”

10. Judaism allows, even encourages, a Jew to argue with God. The very name of the Jewish people, “Israel,” means “wrestle with God;” the word “Islam,” to provide a counter example, means “submission” (to God).

One of my first substantive explorations into the Torah blogosphere was with regards to the ban of R’ Slifkin’s books. This essay is not intended either to condemn or defend the ban which many have written about almost to the point of ad nauseum. However, in my surfing of the Torah blogosphere, I was struck by the fact that so many people’s emunah seemed so fragile because of a perceived irreconcilable conflict between Torah and science.

There are a number of approaches available. I use the term “approaches” because IMO, there may not be any real answers that solve every problem relating to one’s degree or level of Emunah. FWIW, this issue is not a 21st Century issue but can be found in Hilchos Teshuvah where we find that the Raavad champions “Emunah Pshutah” or “simple faith” as opposed to a faith based upon a scientifical or philosophical basis. Echoes of this dispute can be found in writings of the Ramban and Rashba. One can postulate that the development and flourishing of Kabbalah under the Ari was in reaction to a rationalistic system of viewing hashkafic issues that had no answer for such cataclysmic events as the expulsion from Spain.

That being said, RYBS commented in many different contexts that our challenge is to be a Shomer Torah UMitzvos despite the presence of doubts. IOW, the challenge is neither to walk away from Torah observance because of the presence of real doubts on many issues or to believe that one’s responsibility is to solve issues that not even Moshe Rabbeinu received answers to such as Tzadik vRah Lo, Rasha vTov Lo..Simply stated,-one should not water down Torah to make it palatable to science and those who believe in “scientism” or water down legitimate scientific discoveries or questions to make science palatable to Torah. There are some conflicts that cannot be resolved. OTOH, many of the books authored by militant athesists such as Dawkins, Gould and Hitchens strike me as displaying less knowledge of Torah Judaism than a graduate of an elementary day school, yeshiva or Beis Yaakov. IMO, such books are hardly a threat to Torah. R D Lamm has an excellent essay on this issue as well where different levels of doubt are set forth. I don’t have the title in front of me, but it is worth reading just on what constitutes a legitimate sense of doubt.

Given the above, I would argue that our responsibility is to gain as much an understanding of what Chazal viewed as the Ikarie Emunah which are set forth in Chumash, the Siddur and Machzor. Basic concepts such as Bchirah Chofshis, Akedah. Am Segulah, Bris Avos, Yetzias Mitzrayim, Bris Sinai, Kabbalas HaTorah, TSBP, Malchuyos, Zicronos and Shofaros and Teshuvah seem IMO the concepts that Chazal stressed in developing a bedrock sense of Ikarie Emunah. As a corollary, I would maintain that a study of the Taryag Mitzvos and how they apply differently to a Kohen, Levi Yisrael, woman and minor would show that our Mesorah presented and demands different levels of Kedusha for different people. From what I have seen, we need to work more on these Ikarie Emunah and to be able to believe in them-even if there is no physical or archaeological evidence that would support them. I strongly believe that a belief that would be predicated solely or primarily on the evidence supporting these events is susceptible to a human challenge.

Guide to abbreviations:
IMO – In my opinion
FWIW – For what it’s worth
RYBS – Rav Yosef Ber Soleveitchik
IOW – In other words
OTOH – On the other hand
TBSP – Torah She Baal Peh

A little while back, I picked up a book by Rabbi Shaul Rosenblatt, called ‘Finding Light in the Darkness.’ Shaul was in the same school as my husband, albeit a couple of years’ above him; and when he started Aish HaTorah in the UK, he gave a few shiurim in our home.

But Shaul stopped giving shiurim after a month or two, and a couple of his colleagues from Aish took over. At the time, we didn’t know why. Today, we know that his wife, Elana, had been diagnosed with the cancer that was going to claim her life at a very young age.

Rabbi Rosenblatt is a Baal Teshuva. In his book, he’s very open and honest about how he came to be frum; how he came to be married to Elana, and how he struggled to cope with the terrible blow that was his wife’s death.

Why am I telling you all this? Because one of the themes that comes through again and again on Beyond BT (although I think it’s probably applicable to every single Jew on the planet) is that most of us can only accept G-d’s domination over our lives – to a point.

And usually, that point is well within our comfort zones. For some people, it stops well short of considering or attempting aliya. For others, it comes when they think about how their professional careers or businesses would suffer too much if they didn’t keep things ticking over by working on Shabbat or bending a few laws on monetary matters. For others, it takes the form of being unable to accept that as a woman, they won’t be treated exactly the same as a man in shul.

These are just a few examples of how belief in G-d can stretch us out of comfort zones; I’m sure that everyone can add their own.

Then there are the people who can’t accept that G-d is running the show because they have experienced some terrible heartbreak, upset or tragedy. Many of these people can’ t understand how a kind, loving G-d could send them so much apparent suffering, in whatever form it comes. They can’t accept that this is how G-d runs his world – and so, they reject Him.

If Hashem hadn’t tested them so much, they would probably still believe in him. Or at least, that’s what they say. But it begs the question: what sort of belief is it in the first place, if it’s conditional on everything always going their way? That sounds more like an insurance policy for ‘the good life’ than genuine faith; or perhaps even like a clumsy sort of spiritual blackmail – “treat me nice, Hashem, or I’m not going to do what you want / keep your commandments”.

(By the way, let me just make clear here that this post is NOT about judging other people. It’s about taking an honest look in the mirror.)

As Rabbi Rosenblatt makes clear in his book, any test we are sent, we can ultimately pass. And every test we are sent is ultimately for our good.

And his life experiences have given him the authority to say these things. He went through all of the ups and down any BT goes through when they become religious; he devoted himself to helping more jews get closer to Hashem; he married a woman who by all accounts was one of the nicest, kindest, most sincere and genuinely pious people you could wish to meet.

(I have a friend who was very close to Rabbi Rosenblatt’s wife, Elana, and even before her illness, I used to hear glowing reports of her kindness, and all the effort she used to put into becoming a better jew and helping other people.)

And how was he rewarded for all his devotion and hard work? He lost his wife to cancer at the age or 32, when the youngest of their four children was still a baby.

If he wanted to, Rabbi Rosenblatt has every ‘justification’ for going off the derech. Instead, he wrote a book about finding light in the darkness. About using suffering as a mechanism for coming closer to Hashem. About understanding that even if you are doing your best to follow his laws, to live according to his Torah and to pray for your wife to recover from a terminal illness, G-d is not a vending machine.

You don’t put prayer in, and get a solution to all your problems out. You do sometimes; often, even. But not always. Because G-d knows what we need better than we ourselves do. We are often too clouded by ego, appetites, or emotions to have an accurate picture of what we really need in this life – and it gets even more complicated when the needs of the afterlife are also factored in to the equation.

This is something that I’ve certainly struggled with, at times, over the past couple of years. But reading Rabbi Rosenblatt’s book helped me to understand that there is so much about G-d that we, as limited humans, simply can’t understand. And that everything he does, is ultimately for the good.

‘Submission’ is not a popular word in the West; it has connotations of being forced to do something against our will, of being humbled, or negating ourselves, and our sense of self-importance.

That’s why we don’t like it – it grates harshly on a Western mentality that is taught to believe in the supremacy of the individual from a very young age. We all like to think that we are important, that our opinions count (as I’m sure will be borne out by the comments on this post….)

Yet in some very important ways, Hashem wants us to submit. He wants us to get to a point where we can accept that we simply don’t understand, and that we don’t need to. G-d is running the show. We can rant or rail at him all we want – what does it change? Or we can try our best to accept that G-d knows what we need better than we do, and to do our best to be happy about it – even when it hurts.

It’s probably the single hardest thing for any or us to do – I’m certainly still struggling with it.

I can’t do justice to Rabbi Rosenblatt’s book – or the very profound ideas he writes very cogently about – in a short post. If anything in this post strikes a wrong chord, it’s probably my (mis)interpretation – please don’t have a go at him in the comments! Instead, go and read his book and get it from the horse’s mouth.

I want to leave you with a direct quote from the book:

“I ask you to ask yourself – and be brutally honest – what are you in this world for? To be comfortable? To avoid pain? To live out seventy or eighty years of life with the least challenge possible? If this is your aim, then many ‘bad’ things will happen along the way – because this is a world of pain, and pain is antithetical to all that you are living for.

“If however, you believe, as I do, that we are to lift ourselves into Godliness, to grow and to ultimately attain self-perfection, than all that happens to us is a golden opportunity – and the more challenging it is, the greater that opportunity.”

It seems to be a consistent mantra for BTs, converts to the faith and others that we cannot, must not and should not judge others. That’s understandable: none of us can walk in another person’s shoes, or understand why they do – or don’t do – things. But if you are a committed jew, this approach raises not a few questions. For example, I believe that G-d appeared to all Jewish souls at Sinai, and charged us all with keeping his Torah.

Orthodox Judaism states very clearly that the obligation to try to keep the torah is on every Jew. If I try to play down or minimise that obligation for others, then I am running the risk of weakening one of the basic planks of my own belief and observance.

Why do I need to keep kosher? G-d told me to. Why does my Jewish friend / parents / sibling need to keep kosher. G-d also told them to. But they aren’t. This creates one heck of a problem for the ‘don’t judge’ paradigm, as the torah makes it clear time and time again that if the jews don’t respect G-d’s laws, they will be judged very harshly indeed.

Secondly, the Torah makes it very clear that we are responsible for one another, and will be judged collectively. We’ve all heard the parable about the jews being in one big, collective boat: it’s all very well for a few people to only drill under their own seats, but by so doing, they could sink the whole enterprise.

To come back to the kosher example: if my friend / brother-in-law / whoever is eating a prawn sandwich, why is it my problem? I shouldn’t judge him. But then, if his eating his prawn sandwich is in fact tipping the heavenly scales collectively against the jewish people, his actions could end up having a negative repercussion on me.

Not judging is a very modern, western thing, but in many ways it’s antithetical to Torah. And it’s completely unworkable in any genuine way. For all that we spout pious things about not judging others, we all do it. And if you have a go at someone else for being judgemental of others, you are doing exactly the same thing to them – why is your judgement value about their behaviour any more correct?

‘Not judging’ also blurs the line between what is objectively right, and what is objectively wrong. Is it right or wrong to mug an old lady? Right or wrong to have a one night stand? Right or wrong to marry out of the faith, or eat a prawn sandwich?

There are always mitigating circumstances for every individual, of course. But we have a clear manual, in the torah, about what actions are right and wrong in G-d’s eyes. And while we can’t and shouldn’t judge an individual (‘they are bad’), we have to judge their actions (‘that is bad’).

And the measurement we have to use is the Torah, as that is the only objective measure we have. And if we don’t judge other people’s action, then we end up blurring the lines even more between what G-d is asking of us, and what we expect from ourselves.

If my child comes to me and asks me why Mr So-and-So is eating a prawn sandwich, I will tell her that it – not him – is wrong. Because according to the Torah, it is. And because I want her to grow up understanding that the final arbiter of what is right and wrong is Hashem.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that I go up to Mr So-and-So and do a ‘fire and brimstone’ routine. Everyone is free to make their own choices in life, and be judged for it. But G-d is nowhere near as PC as our modern Western society, and we aren’t doing anyone – including ourselves – any favours by pretending otherwise.