A recent Torah-oriented email newsletter discussed the fact that BTs are often exposed to a beautiful life of harmonious family life, Tzinius dress and festive Shabbos meals but are not informed of the food, clothing, tuition and other costs involved.

What are the things you wish you were told?

And would knowing those things have affected the path you took?

One of the reasons we started Beyond BT is because we felt that BTs needed more support and that we can provide some through this forum.

It has been a limited success given the limitations of an online community/forum and the limited available resources, but perhaps we can use today’s question to brainstorm how we can provide more support for BTs.

Here some common issues below and their obstacles.
Please suggest how perhaps we can overcome any of the mentioned obstacles.

Providing Classes of All Types for BTs.
Obstacles: Attendance is usually sparse.

Getting Mentors for BTs.
Obstacles: Good willing mentors are hard to find. There is no mechanism for BTs to request mentors. BTs are hesitant to request mentors.

Getting Rebbeim for BTs
Obstacles: Good BT-oriented Rebbeim are hard to find. Rebbeim are usually paid for their time through their shuls and there is no other normative structure to pay good Rebbeim for their time.

Providing Live Support Meetings for BTs
Obstacles: It does not seem that BTs want to get together to discuss their issues.

A friend asked us to post the following:

She and her husband are making their first wedding for their son and they have no family support on their side.

The boy is marrying an FFB girl.

From a BT point of view, how have others handled the gashmius factor in frum weddings?

How have people cut costs?

What was “indispensible” (besides the obvious halachic requirements) and what wasn’t?

Are their any issues specific to BT/FFB chasuna?

Were there any surprises that arose due to not having been brought up attending frum chasunas?

Thanks in advance for your help.

Twenty four hours before Yom Kippur, two tornados hit Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island tearing down and uprooting over 2,000 trees.

What lessons did you learn or hear from you Rav after this awesome display of Hashem’s might right before the day of judgment?

A fellow BT has been blessed by Hashem with great insight and great financial resources. Looking back at what was missing when he became frum, he has allocated significant funds to provide learning opportunities specifically for BT’s — at this point specifically for BT women who he feels are really under-served!

Yes, finally, someone understands that many of us – especially the newcomers – need something other than more outreach classes to help us really feel like we ‘get it’ and fit in!

He, together with the team he has hired, are interested in our input – -what we need / want /long for etc. And they’re asking two simple questions:

1) If you could spend a few days with fellow BT’s and have the perfect schedule of classes, lectures, discussions, activities, etc – what would you want included in the curriculum/schedule?

2) If you had the money and the time, what would you do to help other BTs make the transition – or maintain the transition – more smoothly?

Do you have any strategies to make your Teshuva more effective this year?

Do you draw on your early Teshuva days for inspiration?

Do you have actuals tools and techniques and processes or do you just try to be generally better?

Any other Elul thoughts to share?

Should we be more tolerant of non-observant Jews.

What are your post Tisha B’Av thoughts?

Appreciation of food?

Listening to music again tomorrow?

Vacation time?

Commitment to do your part in rebuilding the Bais Hamikdash?

Less Loshon Hara and Sinas Chinam?

Countdown to Elul?

Glad the 3 weeks are over?

What else?

In public situations is it wise to give Baalei Teshuva kibbudim (honors) at the risk of embarassment?

Situations include

– Leading the bentching

– Saying a beracha at a Sheva Berachos

– Saying a harachamim at a Bris

– Getting an Aliyah in shul

– Getting hagbah or gelilah

– Opening the aron

In what cases and situations do you think it would be appropriate or inappropriate to give the honor to a relatively new BT?

What’s it like raising FFB kids as a BT?

How do your kids feel about it?

In what ways do you feel deficient?

In what ways do you feel being a BT makes you more qualified?

How do your kids feel about it, are they glad they have BT parents or do they wish their parents were FFBs?

What advice would your FFB kids have for BT parents?

Do you feel that “fitting in” is one of the biggest challenges facing BTs?

What factors have you seen contribute to being successful in this area?

What are some strategies if you’re committed to Torah Judaism, but feel the “fitting in” goal is too difficult?