Ahavas Chinam and the Beyond BT Shabbaton

Before the Beyond BT Shabbaton, at least 2 people asked us about the appropriateness of holding it during Shabbos Chazon. We had asked a shaila and were told there was no halachic problem at all. After having held the Shabbaton I think that this was in fact the perfect time to have it, here’s why.

We know that the Second Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam, senseless hatred, that is hating people for no good reason. An antitidote for Sinas Chinam is Ahavas Chinam, that is loving, supporting and caring about a person for no reason other than that they are a fellow Jew. Let’s look at all the ways people strove to achieve Ahavas Yisroel this Shabbos.

First we had our Passaic coordinators, Chana and Dina who did all the leg work to find the right place and caterer at the right price. Our goals were to make the event as nice and as affordable as possible.

Next were all the people from Passaic who opened their homes to those of us coming from outside Passaic. Included in this group were Dan and Edna Ritz who, in addition to hosting, opened their home for an Oneg on Friday night.

For the food preparations and serving we were blessed by the kindness of Chana’s son Benjamin who coordinated every aspect of the meals with fantastic results.

The next group who gave of themselves were Tzvi, Gary, Ron, Aaron and Reuven who each gave a wonderful ten minute inspirational talk. The quality of the speeches was truly amazing and one participant wondered how we were able to have such confidence in the speakers having never heard any of them speak previously.

Rabbi Yitz Greenman and his wife Leah shared their home and his words of experience on the topic of Integration into the Frum community for the Shabbos afternoon talk. But it wasn’t a lecture, Rabbi Greenman spoke for 15 minutes and then opened the floor for the next 45 as people shared their differing viewpoints on the issues and it’s various facets. It was like a lively comment thread with the same respect for a multiplicity of opinions that we value here.

Living up to their name was our host shul, Ahavas Israel who with their Morah D’Asra, Rabbi Eisenman and their administration and staff did everything they could to make our Shabbos as enjoyable as possible.

Finally there were the participants, a great mix of singles, couples and families who joined together to listen, learn and give chizuk to each other in the common quest for spiritual growth.

I’m sure this wasn’t the first Shabbaton that exhibited such an outpouring of Ahavas Chesed and it hopefully won’t be the last, but this is truly the stuff upon which the next Beis Hamikdash will be built – a foundation of giving, learning and growing. Thanks to the all the participants and thanks to the hundreds of people who come by every day to give and get chizuk in their quest for growth in Torah, Avodah and Gemillas Chasadim and collectively discussing the issues the Klal Yisroel faces.

Over the next few weeks, we will G-d willing, post excerpts from some of the topics discussed over Shabbos, so we can keep the discussion going here.

Getting Mussar, Giving Mussar, Learning Mussar

There was a recent apppeal in Kew Gardens Hills to learn 10 minutes of Mussar every day for a number of weeks to help an ill person, so I suggested a daily 10 minute session to my son. He initial stated that nobody likes Mussar, but after learning for a few days he’s really enjoying it. What changed?

Few people like to get Mussar. Who wants to feel inadequate? It’s a basic human need to feel good about yourself. If we pick up the Mesillas Yesharim and hear it telling us how inadequate we are, any rational person would put it down. And if someone is ineffectively criticizing us, we’ll go to great lengths to eliminate or neutralize the source of pain.

Although we don’t like to get Mussar, we often seem to enjoy giving Mussar. Pointing out someone else’s inadequacies carries an implication that we’re better than that, so it makes us feel better. We overlook the discomfort and pain we’re causing the other person, and the usual lack of effectiveness, since after all we’re doing it for the sake of Heaven and for the person’s own good.

The best answer is to take a learning Mussar approach. The learning Mussar approach starts with the premise that we can always improve in every area. We take the long term view that we’re travelling on a long path and it’s a lifetime journey. Mussar is our guide, it shows us where we can reach, how we can get there, and the pitfalls along the way.

But most importantly the learning Mussar approach gives us an incredibly effective framework for growing with others. It’s no longer I’m right and you’re wrong, but rather let’s travel this long path of growth together. We both have a lifetime of work ahead of us so let’s help each other grow. By taking every life lesson learn to heart we transform our interactions from giving or getting Mussar, to working through every issue together.

Imagine how beautiful our community would look like if we switched from a giving/getting Mussar framework to a learning Mussar together ideal. What if our non observant friends and families really felt that we’re all traveling together on the path to becoming a better Jew. With a learning together attitude, the resolutions to conflicts, will present themselves. It’s really up to us, it’s in our hands to make this difference.

Becoming a Better Jew

For some of us, learning Mesillas Yesharim can a be a challenge. The Ramchal is talking about reaching very high levels of Piety and Kedushah, and many of us feel we’re not in a position to reach those levels. We’re focused on consolidating the progress we’ve already made. We might get discouraged and say that learning Mesillas Yesharim is not for us.

But if we take a closer look, we’ll see that the Ramchal is also teaching us how to become better Jews. Almost every person I’ve met, whether observant or not, wants to be a better Jew. The process of becoming a better Jew involves integrating to some degree, the love and performance of Chesed, Torah and Mitzvos into our lives. This integration is not a simple process, and the Ramchal teaches how to make this a reality.

In the beginning chapters of the Mesillas Yesharim, the Ramchal teaches us the structure. We have to focus on outcome, implement the proper actions and processes to reach that outcome, and measure and assess our progress. In recent years both the personal growth and corporate excellence fields have come to the same conclusion, that outcome focusing, process re-engineering, and measurement are the keys to growth. Although the Ramchal gets his ideas straight from Torah, seeing that non-Torah sources come to similiar conclusions may give us a little more motivation to learn, understand, review, and implement the Ramchal’s teachings.

In chapter 2, the opening chapter on the trait of watchfulness, the Ramchal teaches us to be deliberate in our actions. On a day-to-day basis we should strive to live a life by design and not by default. As human beings, we have the intelligence and capability to live a life of doing what’s right and becoming better Jews. It would be foolish not to take advantage of these capabilities to become better people.

Here are a few questions for discussion in the comments.
– Do you think that Mussar is avoided by some/many/most people? Why is that?
– Are the steps to becoming a better Jew included in the path of becoming a pious Jew?
– Do most people want to become better Jews? Is a plan needed to achieve this goal?
– What key message(s) do you take away from Chapter 2?

Below is Chapter 2, Concerning The Trait Of Watchfulness, from the R’ Shraga Silverstein’s translation and posted here through the genrosity of Feldheim Publishers. Our learning is in memory of Sarah Bas Reb Eliezer Kops.
Read more Becoming a Better Jew

Mazal Tov to Rabbi & Mrs Gershon Seif

We would like to wish Mazal Tov to Beyond BT contributor and commentor Gershon Seif and his wife on the upcoming marriage of their daughter Shaina to Chaim Zev Aron of Kew Gardens Hills.

We would also like to wish Mazal Tov to Chaim Zev’s parents Jay and Kaila Aron who are friends of ours from Congregation Ahavas Yisroel in Kew Gardens Hills. Chaim Zev’s sister is also a close friend of my daughter.

Please join us in saying Mazal Tov and in a rousing chorus of “It’s a Small World”.

Torah Leads to Watchfulness

Mesillas Yesharim is structured around R. Pinchas ben Yair beraisa which states:

Torah leads to Watchfulness;
Watchfulness leads to Zeal;
Zeal leads to Cleanliness;
Cleanliness leads to Separation;
Separation leads to Purity;
Purity leads to Saintliness;
Saintliness leads to Humility;
Humility leads to Fear of Sin;
Fear of Sin leads to Holiness;
Holiness leads to the Holy Spirit,
and the Holy Spirit leads to the Revival of the Dead.”

I often wondered what does it mean that Zeal leads to Cleanliness,… It can’t mean that you can’t do an act of cleanliness, before you’ve mastered zeal. I came to an answer a few weeks ago, and I ran it by my Rav who thought it was the emes.

There is a difference between an act and a state. For example, any person can do an act of Cleanliness but to reach the state of Cleanliness, a person must first master the earlier states. A person who is in the state of Watchfulness is one who is always watchful, day in and day out 24 x 7. To reach the state of watchfulness one has to do repeated acts of being watchful. At some point the repetition and dedication to acts of watchfulness make one a watchful person. Like many things in the spiritual world, the exact measurement of who is watchful might be hard to define, but to the truly watchful person that is not relevant, as he he is not looking for the title, but rather to serve Hashem by being watchful of his acts.

The value of constantly reviewing the entire book is that a person often has an opportunity to do acts above his level and he should understand what those higher level acts entail. For example, during davening a person should seize the opportunity to cling to Hashem, even if it’s just for the first brocha. This act does not make him a true Chassid (as defined by the Gemorra and the Mesillas Yesharim), but there is tremendous value in every wholehearted act we do for Hashem. However, it makes much sense that a person focus his efforts appropriate to his level which for most of us are the levels of Torah, Watchfulness and Zeal. (I’m thinking that perhaps Watchfulness and Zeal proceed in parallel as they represent respectively the negative and positive mitzvos).

Please take a few minutes to re-review the first chapter of Mesillas Yesharim. We are learning in memory of Sarah Bas Reb Eliezer Kops. Here is Chapter 1 from the R’ Shraga Silverstein’s translation and posted here through the genrosity of Feldheim Publishers. It is available for purchase here.

The foundation of Saintliness and the root of perfection in the service of God lies in a man’s coming to see clearly and to recognize as a truth the nature of his duty in the world and the end towards which he should direct his vision and his aspiration in all of his labors all the days of his life.

Our Sages of blessed memory have taught us that man was created for the sole purpose of rejoicing in God and deriving pleasure from the splendor of His Presence; for this is true joy and the greatest pleasure that can be found. The place where this joy may truly be derived is the World to Come, which was expressly created to provide for it; but the path to the object of our desires is this world, as our Sages of blessed memory have said (Avorh 4:21), “This world is like a corridor to the World to Come.”

Read more Torah Leads to Watchfulness

There Are No Coincidences

I was reviewing the Parsha Friday morning and I realized that I hadn’t informed my Partners in Torah chavrusa that it was a double parsha. My chavrusa loves to learn and each week he reads *every* Art Scroll note and translation on the parsha.

I gave him a call around 10:15 to tell him. He said that he was just sitting down to learn and he noticed Behar was short and he wondered if perhaps it was a double parsha. At exactly that moment my call came in to tell him that it was a double. Pretty cool.

JIBs, Melava Malkas, Shabbatons, Shiurim

Jib Awards: First round voting for the Jewish and Israeli Blog Awards (JIBs) is underway and closes Sunday night.

Go here to vote for Beyond BT in Best Jewish Religious Blog.

Go here to vote for Beyond BT in Best Group Blog.

Go here to vote for Beyond BT in Best Torah Blog.

We wrote a post earlier on why we think you should cast your ballot for Beyond BT. We’re sorry to be pandering for votes, but since we entered the awards we might as well try to make a good showing, and we do consider this a communal project and we’re all in this together, and this has turned into a run on sentence… Whatever. Just go and vote so we can stop bothering you.

Melava Malka in Eretz Yisroel: We’re trying to arrange a Beyond BT Melava Malke in Eretz Yisroel on May 26th in Beit Shemesh at the home of Menachem Lipkin as I’ll be in Eretz Yisroel that week. Please comment or email us (at beyondbt@gmail.com) if you think you would like to join us.

Shabbaton in Passaic: We’re working on a Shabbaton in Passaic on June 9th. Passaic is quite possibly the BT capital of the US and although we’re in the early stages, I have a feeling this will be a great event. If you’re interested in helping us organize it, or you can host some out-of-towners, or if you think you are going to attend, please email us (at beyondbt@gmail.com) or leave a comment.

Possible Monsey Get Together: I’m hoping to be spending the Shabbos of June 2nd with Rabbi Lam in Monsey, so maybe we can daven and shmooze (after davening of course) at Ohr Somayach or something. Let us know if you’re interested.

Ezzie has a Post asking why BTs choose to become observant.

Have a great shabbos, but vote first!

Approaching Mesillas Yesharim

Approaching Mesillas Yesharim can be a daunting task. The Ramchal is talking about reaching very high levels and most of us are still in the starting gate. The Ramchal was a master of systemization and in Mesillas Yesharim he presents a path to reach the highest levels a person can reach in this world. It’s a step by step process with many hurdles to jump along the way.

A person might say that this path is too hard for me, I’ll take an easier one. Is that a real alternative? The Ramchal’s path is firmly based on Torah sources and it’s what G-d expects of us. We may not reach the highest levels, but we have an obligation to understand the game plan as laid out in the Mesillas Yesharim and try to follow it given our set of circumstances.

A wonderful thing about Mesillas Yesharim is that it spells out the many pitfalls to spiritual growth. As the Ramchal points out, how foolish it would be to ignore those obstacles. And as an added bonus, the Mesillas Yesharim is loaded with ideas and techniques on how to overcome them.

Let’s deal with one basic idea which I heard directly from Rabbi Welcher and from Rabbi Shafier on a Shmuz mp3 this week. That simple idea is that we must THINK. Rabbi Shaffier points out the Tom Watson turned IBM into a mega-successful company with this simple mantra – Think! Rabbi Welcher pointed out that this is one of the main mussar lessons he has learned from his Rebbeim and from the Mesillas Yesharim.

That might seem like an obvious lesson, but it takes work to put it into practice. How often do we daven or do other mitzvos by rote? The halacha says we should think about what we are doing, but we often don’t follow that obvious perscription. How about our interactions with others? Do we really think about the effect our words might have and even what effect we would want them to have? And how about life itself? We believe that spirituality is more important than materialism, but how consistently do we live the spiritually focused life? I’m sure everybody can come up with many examples of where a little more Thinking is called for.

This is the first message of the Mesillas Yesharim and the point he makes often through out the book. THINK! Think about where you are, think about where you want to go, think about how you’re going to get there. Think about the long term and think about the short term. In fact, think about everything you do.

That’s what we’re going to try to do as we journey on the Path of the Just together. We’re going to learn to put proper thinking into practice, to make it a habit. And from making thinking a habit, we will, G-d willing, turn ourselves into mega-successful human beings, and turn the world into the mega-successful place it is destined to become.

This learning project is dedicated in memory of Sarah Bas Reb Eliezer Kops. We would like to again thank Feldheim Publishers for permitting us to post R’ Yosef Leiber’s translation. You can review the first chapter below.

Author’s Introduction

The writer says: I have written this work not to teach people what they do not know, but rather to remind them of what they already know and clearly understand. For within most of my words you will find general rules that most people know with certainty. However, to the degree that these rules are well-known and their truth self-evident, they are routinely overlooked, or people forget about them altogether.

Therefore, the benefit to be obtained from this work cannot be derived from a single reading; for it is possible that, after just one reading, the reader will find that he has learned little that he did not know before. Rather, its benefit is a function of continuous review. In this manner, one is reminded of those things which, by nature, people are prone to forget, and he will take to heart the duty that he tends to overlook.

Almost everywhere you look in the world today, you find that the majority of the bright and clever people are devoting their thinking and investigations to a profound analysis of worldly knowledge and its subtleties, each according to his intellectual capabilities and natural inclinations. There are some who focus their efforts on the study of the physical world and the laws of nature. Others immerse themselves in astronomy and geometry, and some follow the path of technological applications. And there are also those who have entered the realm of the sacred and are studying the holy Torah; some occupying themselves with the theoretical aspects of the Halachah, others with Midrash, yet others with the practical formulation of legal decisions.

However, there are few from this last group who choose to devote thought and study to the total perfection of the Divine service: to the love of the Eternal, the fear of the Eternal, the cleaving to the Eternal, and to all of the other aspects of piety. It is not as if they consider these aspects of knowledge unessential. For, if questioned, every one of them will maintain that these are of paramount importance, and that one cannot envision a truly wise person who has not comprehended all of these issues. Rather, their failure to devote more attention to the matter stems from its being so clear and so obvious to them that they see no need for investing much time in its study.

Consequently, the study of this subject and the reading of works of this kind have become the province of those whose minds lack subtlety and who are mentally sluggish. These you will see riveted to the study of piety, and this has given rise to the prevalent idea that anyone striving for piety is suspected of being dull-witted.

The result of this attitude, however, is detrimental both for those who possess wisdom and for those who do not, since it leaves both deficient in true piety and makes this quality extremely rare. Those who possess wisdom are deficient in piety due to their limited study of it, while the uneducated find it beyond their grasp. Piety, therefore, is construed by people to consist of the reciting of many psalms, making very long confessions, undertaking difficult fasts and performing ablutions in ice and snow, all of which are incompatible with intellect and reason. In the process, true piety, which we desire and strive for, eludes our understanding. For it is obvious that something which does not occupy a place in a person’s mind becomes of no concern to him. And although the beginnings and foundations of piety are inbred in the heart of every truthful person, if he does not utilize them he will lose the ability to discern their details, and he will pass over them without awareness.

For piety, fear of the Eternal, love of the Eternal, and purity of heart are not that deeply rooted within a person not to necessitate the employment of methods for their acquisition. In this respect they differ from natural states such as sleep and wakefulness, hunger and satiety, and all other natural instincts. Rather, the acquisition of these [qualities] definitely requires various methods and devices. Furthermore, while there are many factors operating to distance piety from man there are many elements that can counter these factors. Could it, then, conceivably, not be necessary to expend a great deal of time upon this study in order to know these truths and the means to acquire and keep them? How will this wisdom enter a person’s heart if he will not seek it?

Since the need for the perfection of Divine service and the necessity of its purity and cleanliness is recognized by every wise person (for without these it [the Divine Service] is certainly totally unacceptable, but rather repulsive and despised; “For the Eternal searches all hearts and understands all the workings of [our] thoughts” (Divrei HaYamim 128:9)), what, then, will we answer on the day of rebuke if we are lax in this study and forsake what we are required to do? This is the very essence of what the Eternal our God asks of us! Is it befitting our intelligence that we exert ourselves and labor in speculations concerning which we have no obligation, in fruitless debates and empty pilpul, and in laws that are not applicable to us, while the great obligation that we owe our Creator we abandon to habit and rote?

If we have neither contemplated nor studied what true fear of Heaven is or what its ramifications are, how will we acquire it, and how will we escape from the vanity of the world that renders our hearts forgetful? Surely it will fade away and be forgotten even though we recognize its necessity. And likewise, love of the Eternal: if we do not make an effort to anchor it within our hearts, with the power of all those means that lead us toward it, how will it exist within us? How will devotion and ardor for the Blessed One and His Torah enter into our souls if we do not direct ourselves toward His greatness and exaltedness, [thereby] internalizing it within our hearts? How will our thoughts be purified if we do not try to cleanse them from the blemishes infused in them by physical nature? Much the same can also be said about all the character traits, which need improvement and adjustment. Who will adjust them and who will correct them, with all the necessary rigor, if not us?

If we analyzed the matter objectively, we would no doubt discover its veracity. This would benefit us, and we could then teach it to others, thereby benefiting them as well. As stated by Shlomo (Mishlei 2:4-5), “If you seek it as [you would] silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand fear of the Eternal.” He does not say, “Then you will understand philosophy; then you will understand astronomy; then you will understand medicine; then you will understand the legal issues and judgments of Halachah,” but rather, “then you will understand fear of the Eternal.” We see that in order to understand fear of the Eternal, one must seek it out as he would silver and search for it as he would hidden treasures.

What has been transmitted to us through our parents and what is generally self-evident to every religious individual is insufficient! But yet we see that time can be found for all other branches of study yet for this no time is available! Why can’t a person at least designate specific times for this purpose, that would not interfere with other studies and endeavors that he pursues in the remainder of his time?

Scripture states (lyov 28:28), “Behold [Rein – ]n], fear of the Eternal – this is wisdom.” Our Sages of blessed memory comment (Shabbos 31b) that hein here means one, for that is the meaning of the Greek word hein. Thus, fear – and fear alone – is considered wisdom. And surely something that does not require study [and investigation] would not be considered wisdom. In actuality, all these matters demand profound study for one to truly know them rather than in a subjective manner or through faulty judgment, and particularly if one is to acquire and [truly] understand them. Therefore, he who delves into them will see that piety is not contingent on those things that the pseudo-pious, in their foolishness, consider relevant, but rather on true perfection and profound wisdom.

This is what Moshe Rabbeinu, may peace be upon him, teaches us when he says (Devarim 10:12), “Yet now, Israel, what does the Eternal, your God, request of you? Only to fear the Eternal, your God, to follow all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve the Eternal, your God, with all your heart and your entire being; [and] to keep the Eternal’s commandments and statutes….” Here he [Moshe] incorporated all the elements that are necessary for the perfection of that service that is desired by the Holy One blessed be He: fear of the Eternal, walking in His ways, love [of the Eternal], perfecting the heart, and observance of all the mitzvos.

Fear of the Eternal refers to the fear that His exalt-edness inspires. One should express fear before Him as one would before a great and awesome king, and he should feel embarrassment before the Eternal’s greatness, in every movement that he makes, and particularly when speaking before Him in prayer or when engaged in the study of His Torah.

Walking in His ways relates to the finest traits of character and their cultivation. As our Sages of blessed memory have explained (Shabbos 133b): “Just as He is merciful, so shall you be merciful…” – the underlying principle being that a person must conduct himself with honesty and integrity in all his various actions. Our Sages of blessed memory summarized the idea as follows (Pirkei Avos 2:1): “That which brings acclaim to the doer and earns him the acclaim of others,” namely, all that moves toward the goal of true benevolence, meaning that it results in the strengthening of Torah and the promotion of harmony within society.

Love: to implant love of the Blessed One within a person’s heart so that his soul is stirred to find favor before Him, just as one’s heart is stirred to please his father and mother. And he will be anguished if he finds this quality deficient in himself or in others. Furthermore, he will zealously [safeguard] it and will rejoice intensely when implementing [even] a part of it.

Perfecting the heart: so that the service before the Blessed One should be carried out with pure intent, for the purpose of serving Him only and with no other motives. This means that one’s heart should be totally devoted to the Divine service, not like one who lacks commitment or acts out of habit; rather, one’s whole heart should aspire to this.

Observance of all the mitzvos: this means the complete observance of all the mitzvos with all their specifications and stipulations.

All of these principles require much elucidation. I have found that our Sages of blessed memory have incorporated these elements in a different type of arrangement, more detailed and specific, and systematized according to the order necessary for their proper acquisition. Their words are found in a baraisa cited in numerous places in the Talmud, such as the one in the chapter “Lifnei Edeihen” [”Before Their Festivals”] (Avodah Zarah 20b): “From here, Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair said: Torah brings one to vigilance, vigilance brings one to alacrity, alacrity brings one to [spiritual] cleanliness, cleanliness brings one to abstinence, abstinence brings one to purity, purity brings one to piety, piety brings one to humility, humility brings one to fear of sin, fear of sin brings one to holiness, holiness brings one to Divine inspiration, Divine inspiration brings one to the resurrection of the dead.”

On the basis of this baraisa, I have undertaken to compose this work to teach myself and to remind others of the conditions necessary for the perfection of the Divine service in all its stages. Regarding each stage, I will explain its content, components, and details, the methodology for acquiring it, those factors that undermine it and how to avoid them. As a result, I or anyone else who may be moved to read it will learn to fear the Eternal, our God, and we will not forget our duty toward Him. That which the material world seeks to remove from our hearts will be stimulated by reading and contemplation, and it will stir us to perform what we have been commanded to do.

May the Eternal support our aspirations and safeguard us from failure. May the supplication of the Psalmist, beloved to His God, be fulfilled for us (Tehil-lim 86:11): “Teach me, O Eternal, Your way; let me walk in Your truth; unify my heart to fear Your name.” Amen, so may it be His will.

Perfection as a Torah Value – Mesillas Yesharim Continued

I received an email yesterday morning which made me feel so proud to be a member of the Torah Observant community. I had written to R’ Yaakov Feldheim of Feldheim Publishers telling him about Beyond BT and asking for permission to post the English translation of Mesillas Yesharim, as we learn it here together. Yesterday morning R’ Feldheim replied, permitted us to use either the older translation by R’ Shraga Silverstein or the newer one by R’ Yosef Leiber.

We will be using the newer translation by R’ Leiber and I want to thank R’ Feldheim and Feldheim Publishers for joining with us on this learning effort in memory of Sarah Bas Reb Eliezer Kops. If you don’t already own a copy of the translation, consider taking the opportunity to purchase one.

Rabbi Yitzchak Kirzner zt’l used to tell a story about a student of his who was no longer focused on growing in his Yiddishkeit. His argument was that as a Shomer Shabbos Jew he was already more observant than 90% of the Jewish population. He reasoned: when they catch up, then he’ll work on growing more.

Right in the introduction to Mesillas Yesharim, the Ramchal makes it clear that “the need for the perfection of Divine service and the necessity of its purity and cleanliness is recognized by every wise person”. This is an axiom, we need to strive for perfection, even though it is a never ending battle. Where we stand in relation to our neighbor is unimportant, we need to strive for our own unique perfection.

But there is a difference between being perfect and striving for perfection. Hashem doesn’t ask us to be perfect, just to strive for perfection. The path is a step by step process, which the Mesillas Yesharim lays out for us, quoting the Torah sources along the way. He also alerts us to the major obstacles on the path to perfection as well as providing thoughts and techniques to help overcome them.

But the first step is to recognize that striving for perfection in the service of Hashem is what life is about. It is only by recognizing this and constanly studing the means and mechanisms to approach this that we have any hope of making significant progess on the path. That is one of the messages the Ramchal is trying to convey in his introduction.

The first half of the introduction as translated by R’ Leiber follows:

Author’s Introduction

The writer says: I have written this work not to teach people what they do not know, but rather to remind them of what they already know and clearly understand. For within most of my words you will find general rules that most people know with certainty. However, to the degree that these rules are well-known and their truth self-evident, they are routinely overlooked, or people forget about them altogether.

Therefore, the benefit to be obtained from this work cannot be derived from a single reading; for it is possible that, after just one reading, the reader will find that he has learned little that he did not know before. Rather, its benefit is a function of continuous review. In this manner, one is reminded of those things which, by nature, people are prone to forget, and he will take to heart the duty that he tends to overlook.

Almost everywhere you look in the world today, you find that the majority of the bright and clever people are devoting their thinking and investigations to a profound analysis of worldly knowledge and its subtleties, each according to his intellectual capabilities and natural inclinations. There are some who focus their efforts on the study of the physical world and the laws of nature. Others immerse themselves in astronomy and geometry, and some follow the path of technological applications. And there are also those who have entered the realm of the sacred and are studying the holy Torah; some occupying themselves with the theoretical aspects of the Halachah, others with Midrash, yet others with the practical formulation of legal decisions.

However, there are few from this last group who choose to devote thought and study to the total perfection of the Divine service: to the love of the Eternal, the fear of the Eternal, the cleaving to the Eternal, and to all of the other aspects of piety. It is not as if they consider these aspects of knowledge unessential. For, if questioned, every one of them will maintain that these are of paramount importance, and that one cannot envision a truly wise person who has not comprehended all of these issues. Rather, their failure to devote more attention to the matter stems from its being so clear and so obvious to them that they see no need for investing much time in its study.

Consequently, the study of this subject and the reading of works of this kind have become the province of those whose minds lack subtlety and who are mentally sluggish. These you will see riveted to the study of piety, and this has given rise to the prevalent idea that anyone striving for piety is suspected of being dull-witted.

The result of this attitude, however, is detrimental both for those who possess wisdom and for those who do not, since it leaves both deficient in true piety and makes this quality extremely rare. Those who possess wisdom are deficient in piety due to their limited study of it, while the uneducated find it beyond their grasp. Piety, therefore, is construed by people to consist of the reciting of many psalms, making very long confessions, undertaking difficult fasts and performing ablutions in ice and snow, all of which are incompatible with intellect and reason. In the process, true piety, which we desire and strive for, eludes our understanding. For it is obvious that something which does not occupy a place in a person’s mind becomes of no concern to him. And although the beginnings and foundations of piety are inbred in the heart of every truthful person, if he does not utilize them he will lose the ability to discern their details, and he will pass over them without awareness.

For piety, fear of the Eternal, love of the Eternal, and purity of heart are not that deeply rooted within a person not to necessitate the employment of methods for their acquisition. In this respect they differ from natural states such as sleep and wakefulness, hunger and satiety, and all other natural instincts. Rather, the acquisition of these [qualities] definitely requires various methods and devices. Furthermore, while there are many factors operating to distance piety from man there are many elements that can counter these factors. Could it, then, conceivably, not be necessary to expend a great deal of time upon this study in order to know these truths and the means to acquire and keep them? How will this wisdom enter a person’s heart if he will not seek it?

Since the need for the perfection of Divine service and the necessity of its purity and cleanliness is recognized by every wise person (for without these it [the Divine Service] is certainly totally unacceptable, but rather repulsive and despised; “For the Eternal searches all hearts and understands all the workings of [our] thoughts” (Divrei HaYamim 128:9)), what, then, will we answer on the day of rebuke if we are lax in this study and forsake what we are required to do? This is the very essence of what the Eternal our God asks of us! Is it befitting our intelligence that we exert ourselves and labor in speculations concerning which we have no obligation, in fruitless debates and empty pilpul, and in laws that are not applicable to us, while the great obligation that we owe our Creator we abandon to habit and rote?

If we have neither contemplated nor studied what true fear of Heaven is or what its ramifications are, how will we acquire it, and how will we escape from the vanity of the world that renders our hearts forgetful? Surely it will fade away and be forgotten even though we recognize its necessity. And likewise, love of the Eternal: if we do not make an effort to anchor it within our hearts, with the power of all those means that lead us toward it, how will it exist within us? How will devotion and ardor for the Blessed One and His Torah enter into our souls if we do not direct ourselves toward His greatness and exaltedness, [thereby] internalizing it within our hearts? How will our thoughts be purified if we do not try to cleanse them from the blemishes infused in them by physical nature? Much the same can also be said about all the character traits, which need improvement and adjustment. Who will adjust them and who will correct them, with all the necessary rigor, if not us?

Inspired Too

I just came back from Inspired Too and I highly recommend it. This film is focused more on those doing Kiruv, with helpful ideas on doing Kiruv. It is also filled with a number of great and inspiring stories from the Baalei Teshuva themselves.

There are 5 million non- observant Jews in America. The bottom line message is that we can and should be involved in bringing them closer to Hashem at some level. One of the speakers made the point that the focus should just be to help each person take the next step on their personal ladder, for their bechira point (see Strive for Truth – Vol 1).

One of the speakers, Eliyahu Bernstein told a moshel that you’re obviously frum and on a plane looking all over the peanut bag for the kashrus symbol. The person next to you says there’s an OU over there. What the person is really saying is that I’m a Jew also, I’m in the same ballpark as you, although I probably don’t look for the kosher symbol as often as you do. You have a choice to say, thank you, eat the peanuts and go back to sleep or start a conversation with the person. Where are you from? How do you know about kashrus? Did you go to Hebrew School? And you can make mention of some classes or some Rabbi in the person’s hometown if you know about it. Rav Bernstein says that this encounter will result in the person taking the next step, one out of six times, so why not take the first step.

Aish uses the neumonic INSPIRE to suggest 7 avenues of Outreach.
Internet – Give them one great Jewish Website.
Nurture a friendship. Ask about their lives. Care.
Shabbos – Invite them to a Shabbos Dinner.
Publication – Give them an Inspring Book
Israel – Encourage them to go learn or tour.
Relationships. Share one Torah tip about love.
Excite Them. Explain why you love being observant.

Please go to Project Inspire to learn more and to participate in the current Purim project of sending a card or a Shaloch Manos to somebody you know.

And visit kiruv.com to find out when Inspired Too is playing at a location near you.

The Art of Reframing

I was talking to a friend over Shabbos and he related the following story:

He went on an admissions interview with one of his children and the questions being asked were upsetting him. By the time it was over he was really angry. What kind of school was this that would have an outlook like that?

When he got home he headed for the book shelf, picked up Rabbi Pliskin’s book on “Anger” and turned to the section on reframing. After quickly reviewing it he kept repeating to himself: “They’re teaching Torah!” “They’re teaching Torah!” “They’re teaching Torah!” After a few minutes he was able to reframe the institution into it’s proper perspective. Yes, he still disagreed with some of the things they said, but he was able to appreciate the good they were doing and eliminate any anger towards them.

Rabbi Pliskin, suggests that the key to a life of joy is to master this art of “reframing” — to change our negative perception of a situation into a more optimistic outlook. There is a free audio from Rabbi Pliskin on reframing available here. Let me leave you with this description of this simple yet powerful tool from Rabbi Pliskin’s book, “Begin Again Now”:

Reframing means perceiving a situation or event differently than you did originally or differently than it is usually viewed. A person who masters the art of reframing will be the master of the emotional quality of his life. While you do not always have control over external factors, you always have the ability to reframe.

Update: My friend Joe points to this great article by Sara Yoheved Rigler which contains a great story of reframing:

I  sat down at the kitchen table and decided to work this through. My feelings of outrage were bubbling up in my heart like a volcano, but the Torah expected me to process and control my thoughts and emotions as well as my actions. I knew that the way to change emotions is to change the thoughts that I was telling myself. By a gigantic act of will, I “changed the tape.” I forced myself to remember good things about my cousin, times she had been loving to me, times she had been vulnerable.

Read the whole thing, it’s an amazing article.

Judaism in a Blogshell

This past Rosh Hoshana, I wanted to be able to give over the general framework of Judaism in a short time. So, I wrote this piece. Thanks to David and my brother-in-law Bruce for their editing efforts. Please help me further enhance this piece with your questions and comments below. Thanks.

The Plan (Derech Hashem)
– The nature of one who is good is to give.
– G-d, who is the ultimate goodness, created man in order to give to man pleasure.
– The greatest gift possible for man is to have an awareness of, and a relationship with G-d.
– In order to increase the value and pleasure of this gift, G-d wanted man to develop this awareness and relationship through man’s own free will.

The Environment and Means (Mesillas Yesharim)
– G-d created man with an eternal soul, that is the part of man most G-d like and most capable of goodness.
– G-d also gives us a strong sense of self in the intellectual realm and strong sensory facilities.
– G-d created the physical world as the place in which man would develop the soul.
– The goal is to increase our awareness of G-d and develop our character/soul through our choices and mitzvos.

The Problem (Avos: Three things take us out of this world…)
– Our sense of self and accomplishment often makes us honor ourselves instead of G-d.
– Physical pursuits mask our awareness of G-d and lead us towards a physical existence instead of a spiritual one.
– Self-centeredness makes us envious and possessive and inhibits strong personal relationships by focusing us on ourselves rather than the other person.

The Solution (Avos: The world stands on three things…)
– The Torah and the mitzvos enable us to go beyond physical egocentricity towards a spiritually centered existence.
– Acts of Kindness help us focus on other people thereby reducing our self-centeredness.
– Prayer reduces our self-centeredness by giving us a G-d centered orientation.
– The Jewish people were chosen to implement the solution at its highest level with the 613 mitzvos.
– The rest of the nations have 7 mitzvos to best develop their G-d awareness.

Implementation (Six Constant Mitzvos)
– We must align our thought processes with our emotions, since the emotions are the prime influence on actions.
– We must increase our belief in G-d, not believe in other forces and realize that “good” and “bad” both come from G-d.
– We increase our emotional connection to G-d through love and we increase our respect for His greatness through awe and fear.
– When our emotions are properly aligned, our actions will follow suit and we will fulfill our personal and global missions.

Fundamental Beliefs (Rambam: 13 Principals)
– G-d, the Creator of the universe is: complete, total unity, non-physical, eternal and the object of all prayers.
– G-d communicates with man. Moshe’s prophecy was unique. The entire Torah was given by G-d and is unchangeable.
– G-d knows our thoughts and deeds and will reward and correct us appropriately. The Messiah will come to help bring the world to its completion. The dead will be resurrected in a new world of physical and spiritual perfection.

Focus (Avos: Who is Rich..)
– We should become wise by learning from everybody.
– We should consider ourselves rich by appreciating all the blessings we have.
– We should consider ourselves powerful when we rule over our own desires and not when we control others.
– We should avoid honor and instead look for the greatness in every human being and acknowledge and praise it.

Other Ideas(Various Sources)
– We should distance ourselves from anger.
– Our focus should be on our individual mission and we should avoid comparisons with others.
– When we meet any person we should ask ourselves two questions: 1. What can I Give to him/her? 2. What can I Learn from him/her?
– Pleasure comes from our appreciation of the unity, completeness and connection of all the things in this world.
– Happiness comes when we work on completing ourselves and help bring the world closer to its perfection and unity.

Why Aren’t More People Taking Advantage of Mp3s?

On Friday afternoon I had to run about 20 minutes of errands. So before I went on my way, I clicked over to Aish Audio, searched for Lech Lecha and in less than 3 minutes I had loaded a new shiur onto my mp3 player to accompany me on my errands.

Mp3 players with their low-cost, compactness, capacity and the ever increasing wide-ranging shiurim available on the Internet, seem like a no-brainer. Yet as I go about town, I rarely see people with Torah piped into their ears.

So my question is why do so few people seem to take advantage of mp3s and all the audio available on the Internet? Is the technology too overwhelming? Are people uncomfortable walking around with ear buds/plugs in their ears? Is it the cost? Or perhaps people prefer visual over auditory learning?

If the technology is the problem, I would be willing to take some time to try to demystify it, to help people learn more Torah.

Using Our Talents For Achdus (Auction)

In Rabbi Brody’s recent post “Jewgrass, or don’t throw away your past“, he points out that Hashem doesn’t want Baalei Teshuva to throw away our past – He wants us to bring it into holiness, to sanctify it.

It’s the same with out skills and knowledge, Hashem wants us to use them to serve Him and the Jewish People. A good example of this is David’s involvement in the Achdus Auction. Here’s the writeup of the Auction from the web site:
Read more Using Our Talents For Achdus (Auction)

Project Inspired for Rosh Hoshana

Project Inspired has their Rosh Hoshana campaign underway and they are providing great pamphlets about the Yomim Noraim that you can send for free to your non-observant friends and neighbors.

In their own words:

Project Inspire is a campaign to unify the Jewish People by means of monthly / bimonthly initiatives to share the richness and wisdom of our heritage in simple and inspiring ways.

Our united efforts this year will, with G-d’s help, be the seeds to infuse light, love and inspiration into the entire Jewish People.

I went to the Aish/OU sponsored Kiruv training seminar in KGH yesterday. I missed part of it due to a Simcha, but the hour that I caught was very inspiring. I’m trying to organize an advanced kiruv training seminar for people who are familiar with the proofs and the other basic material and want to understand how to deal with the more difficult and skeptical questions.

Nothing Just Happens

Although there were 74 mitzvos in the parsha this Shabbos, I said a Dvar Torah about Amalek and I happened to learn the piece in Strive for Truth about Amalek with my son. Both pieces emphasize the usage of the word Karcha (happened) and stress that Amalek’s philosophy is that things just happen, as opposed to our philosophy that Hashem’s hand guides all.

Davening Sunday was nice, and after davening I read a page from the Chafetz Chaim’s lesson a day. We started learning different Shmiras HaLashon seferim after davening about 10 years ago and since I suggested the practice, I’ve been doing the reading. However recently I’ve been davening at a later 7:00 minyan, and last Sunday I was away, so I haven’t read in the morning for about 2 weeks. The piece I read this morning was about Past History (Day 8) which states:

Another area involving Loshon Hora is that of past history. It is forbidden to relate something about an individual’s past which either the speaker or the listener considers shameful, though in reality it is not shameful at all.

Our Sages teach that “at the place where baalei teshuvah stand, perfect tzaddikim cannot stand: (Berachos 34b). Thus there is nothing shameful about being a baal teshuvah. Nevertheless, it is forbidden to related that someone is a baal teshvah if either the speaker or listener looks down at such people.

Nothing just happens.
Read more Nothing Just Happens

Brizel – Sendic Chasana Update

Mazal Tov to Steve & Linda Brizel on the marriage of their daughter Shani to Ari Sendic last night.

I just got back from the wedding and Steve said I can share the simcha with our friends at Beyond BT.

The wedding was at the Rose Castle in Williamsburg. Right before the bedekin, Ari gave a dvar Torah pointing out that the chasson and kallah get mechila (forgiveness for their sins) on their wedding day and all the guests also get a measure of mechila. Steve was on cloud nine, enjoying every moment and he and Linda were beaming as they walked the beautiful bride, Shani, down the aisle.

Ari’s Rebbi from YU REITS where he is currently learning, Rabbi Herschel Schachter was the mesader kiddushin. As you probably know, Rabbi Schachter is also Steve’s Rebbi.

I don’t remember all the kibbudim, but Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld of the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills had the first brocha. Rabbi Schonfeld is the founding father of the Kew Gardens Hills frum community and most responsible for establishing it as the accepting place that it is. Rabbi Welcher, our Rav from Ahavas Yisroal had the fourth brocha.
Read more Brizel – Sendic Chasana Update

Innovation in the Service of Hashem

At the October 2001, “Life After Teshuva” conference in Passaic, Rabbi Yaacov Haber pointed out that throughout history, mainstream Orthodoxy has often needed an influx of talent, creativity and excitement from an outside source for rejuvenation. Today’s growth oriented Baalei Teshuva community has proven this point by helping drive an increased energy and passion around the Jewish world.

A BT friend of ours recently illustrated this creativity and excitement. He wanted to lose some weight and raise money for Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, so he went around to people and asked them if they would be willing to pledge a certain amount. He signed me up for 50 cents per pound that he lost with a deadline of Rosh Chodesh Elul.

The other day at davening, he informed me that he had lost 52 pounds and the redemption of my pledge was $26. I happily gave him the money as he informed me that he had raised over $15,000 for the Yeshiva!!!

Some Thoughts Before the Opening Day of the Teshuva Season

Tonight begins Rosh Chodesh Elul, opening day of the Teshuva season. Even for BTs who have made amazing changes in the past, real Teshuva is a challenge. A major problem is that after the initial BT phase we fall into unhealthy habits in our observance, and habits take time and effort to break. This is why it makes sense to start our Teshuva program on Rosh Chodesh, because it takes between 30 and 40 days to effect a change in habit. Here are some ideas to help in the areas of Torah, Chesed and Avodah.

In Torah, we often feel comfortable with the amount of Torah we learn each week. Deep down we know that we should be learning more, but we have very good execuses: we have such busy schedules, we have many other responsibilities, Hashem doesn’t expect us to know everything and since we already know less then everything – we’re fulfilling our learning requirements. An idea here is to take on a little more learning by adding a 5-10 minutes seder in a new sefer everyday. Pick something you really want to learn. The key is to make this a regular practice, each and every day.

In chesed (lovingkindness), we often fail to appreciate the divinity and greatness inherent in every human being. This manifests itself in thinking negatively about people, speaking loshon hora and hurting people with words. A way of changing this is to approach each person with two questions, “What can I learn from this person?” and “What can I give to this person?”. It also helps to keep in mind that giving can be easily accomplished through a compliment, a supportive word or a true show of concern.

In Avodah such as prayer and performing mitzvos. the major impediment is lack of kavanna which results in us rushing through our mitzvos and not achieving the full benefits of their performance. A key here is to stop a second before the prayer, brocha or the mitzvah and think about what we’re doing. Three things to have in mind:

1) Hashem has commanded the performance of the mitzvah
2) We are the subject of the command
3) We are performing this mitzvah in fulfillment of the command

It’s a simple formula to keep in mind and it can make a tremendous change in our performance in prayer, brochas and mitzvos.

May we all be successful in our Teshuva efforts, and may our collective efforts help bring the coming of Moshiach, speedily in our days.

Beyond BT Shabbaton Report – Part 1

Over 100 Jews shared a wonderful Shabbos of Torah, music and friendship. We’ll try to describe it as best as possible with some sound clips of the first incarnation of the Beyond BT Jam Band.

Gili Houpt, Chaya’s husband led a beautiful Kabbalah Shabbos at Congregation Ahavas Yisroel to get us off to a wonderful start. His ruach and musical and vocal talents were evidenced during the entire Shabbaton and added so much to entire event.

After davening we went to our respective homes for the Friday night seudah. I’m pretty sure everybody served soup. My wife, Linda, made a tikkun for my mistake of suggesting that we skip soup by making both a chicken soup and a gizpacho. The Linn’s served Mango soup.

After the meals, we headed to the Linn’s for a wonderful Oneg. To be continued.