A friend from Beyond BT once emailed us that she likes the three weeks, because the shiurim and the divrei Torah are focused on improving our relationships with other people (Bein Adam L’Chavero).

Some specific mitzvos on the Weekly Work Ons list during this period are:
– Reducing speaking Loshon Hora
– Being careful not to hurt people with our speech (Onas Devorim)
– Judging people favorable

In our Shul we read a selection from “Positive Word Power” from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation after davening a few times each week.

What have you found helpful to work on in this period?

Are there any seforim that you recommend?

What techniques have you used to reduce speaking Loshon Hora?

What motivation techniques have you tried?

Dear Beyond BT

Just wondering if someone can give me advice –

i am 50 years old and started trying to be a BT over 30 years ago. i still cannot understand Hebrew very well (yes i know some elementary basics, but cannot really translate). I live in Jerusalem.

Any ideas what i can do to try and breakthrough?

Thanks so much
Yisroel

The conventional wisdom says that when you converse with a non-observant person, you should avoid indicating that you think it would benefit the person to become Torah Observant over time.

What if this wasn’t the conventional wisdom and you could discuss the benefits of Torah Observance to non-frum people, what would you say?

What do you plan to do this summer?

a) Relax
b) Vacation
c) Visit family
d) Rejuvenate
e) Read/learn more
f) Same as the rest of the year
g) Write a post for Beyond BT
h) Other

Two posts this week focused on different aspects of finding yourself within Judaism?

Has Torah helped you find yourself?

Has Torah helped you define your roles?

Do you think having the ability to choose your path within Judaism helped your self-definition process?

The Ramchal in his “Essay on Fundamentals” says that G-d did not desire to write the Torah so clearly that it would not need any explanation. Quite to the contrary, He wrote in it many undefined concepts, so no man could possibly know its true meaning without being given an explanation. This explanation must come from a tradition emanating from G-d Himself, Who is the Author of the Torah.

Ramchal mentions there are three ways in which the Written Torah is modified by the Oral Tradition
– Concepts which are mentioned in a general manner, but whose details are explained in the Oral Tradition
– Concepts which are fully explained in the Written Torah, but can be interpreted in different ways
– Where the words in the written Torah have one meaning, while the Oral Tradition explains it in a very different manner

When teaching beginners Torah, it is sometimes hard to convince them about the importance of the Oral Torah’s centrality in understanding the written Torah. They need to be taught that you can’t understand individual Posukim without an explanation.

What challenges did you need to overcome to accept the Oral Tradition as the ultimate source of explanation?

How would you help others come to that understanding?

In the introduction to Doubleday edition of Rabbi Soloveitchik’s classic, “The Lonely Man of Faith”, Dr. David Shatz highlights man’s dual nature of conquering, creating, dominating and controlling the world on one hand and his thirst for redemption, self-discipline and submissiveness to G-d on the other.

Man’s task is to integrate this dual nature through Halakha (Torah), as Rabbi Soloveitchik says “the Halakha believes there is only one world, not divisible into secular and hallowed sectors”. Secular society strongly rejects the transcendental and religious society often withdraws from the secular, so the man of faith faces intense loneliness in his quest for integration.

As BTs we’ve lived in both worlds and perhaps because of this, we face additional challenges of integration and loneliness. As we try to establish our roots firmly in the spiritual world of faith, we both reject the world we left and face rejection by those we’ve left, even as we attempt to integrate these two worlds.

Do you think our experiences makes us more lonely?

If our experience has led to better integration, why have we failed to positively influence our fellow secular and religious Jews on this path?

What thoughts and actions can we use to make this process better for ourselves?

Integrating into the community is one of the bigger challenges for BTs in larger communities. Included in integration is conformity.

How would you differentiate between integrating and conforming?

In what ways have you conformed?

Do you feel that you are integrated?

How would you determine if a person has integrated into the community?

What are the objective measures of successful integration?

How Would You Describe Your Secular Knowledge Integration Strategy?

a) I discard or ignore most secular knowledge

b) I accept most secular knowledge and only discard that which blatantly contradicts Torah

c) I carefully sift secular knowledge to see if it is truly consistent with Torah

d) Other

Although the capturing of Osama is important, the events and the regime changes in the Middle East will have far more of an effect on Israel and the Jews.

A short time ago, Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky was asked about the significance of developments in the Middle East and he said:

“People come and say that these events are Gog and Magog. We cannot know if that is so or not, but we are certainly being shown that Mashiach is getting closer, and we must do what we can to strengthen ourselves and prepare for that day. Whoever ignores these signs is a fool.”

Have you done any introspection and teshuva work in response to these events?

Can you suggest any introspection and teshuva work others may want to try?

How was your Pesach?

Any stories to share?

Triumphs?

Challenges?

Thoughts on bringing your inspiration forward?

It’s the greatest night of the year with the potential for tremendous growth.

How do you get the most out Pesach?

a) Share lots of vorts on various parts of the seder.

b) Focus on performing the mitzvos of the night in the best possible manner.

c) Read the Hagaddah with praise and thanks for Hashem.

d) Keep everybody interested by props, questions, stories…

– For your non-observant guests, how have you been successful in maximizing the evening for them?

Do you mo

When it comes to dealing with non-Torah influences most families and communities build fences. The basic difference is how high are the fences.

There is probably a continuum of fence heights but the overall policies can perhaps be described as:

1) Let everything in and throw out that which is inappropriate
2) Let almost nothing in to keep out the inappropriate and in the process keep out much that might be appropriate
3) Let in the things that can help bring you closer to Hashem

How would you describe the fence building policies out there?

What have you found that works for you and your family?

Can you see the dangers and the benefits of the other approaches?

Do you think the main problem with high fences, is that they’re a bad idea or because fences are ineffective and can cause backlashes?

What are the major areas that fences are built in your home or community: Internet, TV, Music, Movies, Newspapers, Radio, Fiction Books, Non-Fiction Books?

What are the issues around communal fences as opposed to household fences?