Seeing Is Not Believing

From an essay by Rabbi Nosson Weisz

Human beings can only make sense of the world they see around them by filtering the information presented by their senses through the intellectual lenses provided by their cultures. Living through events doesn’t guarantee that we see them in the proper perspective.

The idol worshipper lives in a physical world that exists separately from the beings that he worships. His Gods cannot tamper with the fundamental rules of reality. Plato sincerely felt that even God could not make the sides of a square equal to its diagonal. He did not feel that he was imposing a limitation on God’s power when he made this statement. His God was a part of the same reality as his own and therefore was also subject to the rules and limitations imposed by logic.

When a person’s cultural background teaches him that there cannot be miracles that violate natural law, he can actually experience the splitting of the sea and not see it for what it is. He will think that there must be some natural explanation. For him the miracle can never happen even when it happens. This principle is behind the spiritual rule we have developed in this essay; for such people the miracle of splitting the waters cannot happen by definition. Anyone who cannot see a miracle even when he experiences it never experiences it. He can easily drown in the sea that has been miraculously parted.

Some Musings on Words and Their Applications

By Rabbi Mordechai Scher
Beit Midrash Kol BeRamah/Santa Fe Torah Learning Coop

Like many who grew up in assimilated Jewish America of the 60s and 70s, I heard certain Yiddish terms commonly used to describe non-Jews. They were clearly used as part of a cultural lingo, to set apart the ‘other’ from ‘us’. What is interesting, and all too sad, is that the separation eventually appeared to me as a form of racism. After all, in nearly every way we lived the same as our non-Jewish neighbors; so why the insistence on a vocabulary of distinction and discrimination? It was clear that these terms were often intended to be pejorative. This bothered me even more when I had learned enough Torah to believe and understand that there are positive reasons for such distinction; but only in the larger framework of an overall commitment to Judaism. Now, the insistence on separation and discrimination solely for its own sake bothers me even more. Sadly, I recognize that this is a last vestige of a connection to Jewish history and tradition; but detached from that history and tradition it does not complement us at all. Even as we fled everything Jewish and ran to embrace nearly everything non-Jewish, we still insisted on these ridiculous, often insulting uses of language.

I can still remember with a laugh the one time an older relative saw me putting mayonnaise on a meat sandwich. She made a face and said, ‘that’s so goyish!’ This coming from someone who probably hadn’t eaten a bite of kosher food in decades. But that’s NOT goyish? And what rational reason did she have to object to something simply because it appears culturally non-Eastern European Jewish? Was she really worried about ‘hukoteihem’, the prohibition against imitating non-Jewish practices of religious import? The intonation made it clear that something ‘goyish’ is to be rejected.

Goy is, of course, a fairly neutral term in and of itself. Goyim simply means ‘the nations’. There is the Jewish people, and there are ‘the nations.’ Similarly, there is HaAretz (the Land, referring to the Land of Israel), and the rest of the world is Hutz L’aretz – outside the Land. For some of you there is New York, and the rest of the world is ‘out of town’. So, exclusive of intonation or other indications of disrespect, the term ‘goy’ by itself isn’t insulting.
Read more Some Musings on Words and Their Applications

Compulsive Greatness

One of the great enigmas in the story of the Exodus is Pharoh’s behavior. Each time a plague hits, Pharoh promises to release the Jews. Each time a plague ends and the threat is no longer imminent, Pharoh reverts to his position that the Jews must remain as slaves.

Pharoh was warned by his own people that his behavior was destroying the country. “How long will you allow this trap to continue?” they ask him. “It is in our best interest to let the Jews go.” Yet Pharoh can’t seem to release the Jews.

It seems like Pharoh is displaying addictive or compulsive behavior which is almost out of his control.

To understand Pharoh’s behavior let us revisit the story of how G-d created mankind. The verse states that G-d said, “Let us make man.” To whom was G-d talking when He said “Let us”? One explanation is that G-d was talking to the man that He was about to fashion. G-d said, “Let us, you and I, make man.” I will give you the raw materials, and even some predispositions. But it will be up to you to develop yourself and achieve your potential greatness.

Read more Compulsive Greatness

The Torah Road to Happiness

I recently read the following on the site of Dr Martin E. P. Seligman one of the leaders of the Positive Psychology movement.

So the core thesis in Authentic Happiness is that there are three very different routes to happiness. First the Pleasant Life, consisting in having as many pleasures as possible and having the skills to amplify the pleasures. This is, of course, the only true kind of happiness on the Hollywood view. Second, the Good Life, which consists in knowing what your signature strengths are, and then recrafting your work, love, friendship, leisure and parenting to use those strengths to have more flow in life. Third, the Meaningful Life, which consists of using your signature strengths in the service of something that you believe is larger than you are.

Does this seem consistent with Torah views of happiness?

Can we use these findings to introduce our coreligionists to Torah or is the quest for the Pleasant Life so ingrained, that the Good Life and Meaningful life don’t appeal to most people?

The Crash of the Heavens – the Miracle of Flight 1549

The Crash of the Heavens.
The Power, Mercy and Wisdom of the Almighty Creator and the Miracle of Flight 1549.

by Dovid Zechariah Schwartz
Dovid Schwartz is writing now at the Zeh Journal

The miracle of Flight 1549, the US Airways jet that had both engines knocked out by birds and safely landed on the Hudson River, saved not only the lives of all 150 passengers and 5 crew members aboard. In a spectacular suspension of the laws of probability and nature, the jet avoided one of our deepest fears: it did not collide with any of the hundreds upon hundreds of densely-populated buildings surrounding Manhattan Island, greater New York City and eastern New Jersey.

But more than that, in a very real sense, it drove home a stunning portrait of the power and mercy of the Almighty Creator.

Governor David Paterson rightly declared the event a miracle. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg credited the “masterful” control of the aircraft displayed by the pilot. These two statements aren’t contradictory.

Mr. Sullenberger, a pilot who has flown for almost three decades for United Airlines, and a retired military fighter pilot, deserves great praise for his heroism. He demonstrated consummate skill in guiding the troubled plane to safety. But the skill of the pilot alone does not fully account for this salvation.

The Almighty G-d acts to imbue human beings with added awareness, control and coolness of mind. These traits are something that a trained fighter pilot like Mr. Chesley Sullenberger III had the ability to access, in general, but they are by no means generated by the intrinsic nature of the pilot himself. The Almighty Creator acts through human beings by giving added awareness to those who are worthy of helping Him carry out His great designs.

There is the skill that allowed Mr. Sullenberger to safely land the plane. But behind that, there was the will of the Almighty Creator Who allowed Mr. Sullenberger to use his full gifts of skill and control. And even more stunning, it was the will of the Almighty that the whole situation should have unfolded in such a shocking manner. Many people were left scratching their heads, saying, “Two birds can take out a plane’s engine?” The calamity, the disaster, and the threat all show the Almighty’s power.

We might understand the involvement of the Divine influence through human beings in the following manner. Human consciousness itself is bounded, and the ability to perceive danger and respond appropriately takes an enormous influx of awareness that, sadly, is not granted to many people on a constant basis. The ability to perceive danger, and to respond appropriately, is often generated by the desire and initiative of each human being himself. One who seeks to deepen his understanding of the world is rewarded by the Almighty Creator with greater insight and understanding. Those who do not stir themselves to seek understanding are often left the passive victims of the the winds of fate and chance.

With that said, we’d like to take a moment to reflect on two important lessons of faith that we can take from the miracle of Flight 1549. The first is the supreme power, and the second is the loving mercy of the Almighty Creator.

First, we see G-d’s power, from the way He was able to take out the plane in such an extraordinary fashion. Many people first suspected terrorism was involved in the downing of the airliner. It seemed laughable that such a sleek, powerful tool of technology can be rendered completely useless by a flock of geese. But whatever He wants to do, the Almighty G-d makes it happen. G-d has many messengers, and He may bring an event through the hands of terrorists, or through the flight of a couple of Canadian geese if He chooses.

Second, we can see from this miracle the mercy of the Creator, that G-d cares about human beings. Human life is valuable in His eyes, and He can sometimes perform miracles to interrupt the order of nature to protect and save human beings.

This salvation is also a rebuke to pagans who hold that the world is merely a collection of intermingling, independent forces. Pagans (and their modern-day offspring, atheists and secularists) view human beings as the pinnacle of all creation and pretend that man is free to engage at his leisure in taking up whatever powers that suit his fancy. Alternatively, other dogmas hold that the world is a fixed, monolithic block of powers where even the Almighty Gd Himself is powerless to intervene, G-d forbid, to save human beings.

The ability of the Almighty Creator to suspend the laws of probability and the raging forces of nature demonstrates His supreme power over all other forces.

Not only the power of the Almighty Creator was displayed when He interrupted the natural order to save Flight 1549. Also, the love of the Almighty Creator for human beings was displayed by His great mercy in saving every passenger, down to an infant in its mothers arms.

The fact that the Almighty Creator cared enough about human beings to save each and every passenger and crew member from death, against the natural order of the world, deals a sharp rebuke to ruthless religious extremists who give little value to human life as they try to advance their ideological and political goals. The vicious pretense of “suicide bombings” and calls for martyrdom in the name of radical religion shows how little these extremists value human life. People who claim that they are acting on behalf of G-d when they intentionally murder and hide themselves behind unarmed civilians are liars and frauds of the most sinister type.

It may be no coincidence that the day this miracle fell on was also the day it was announced that one of the dark masters of violence and bloodshed, one of the top commanders of the Hamas terrorist organization, Said Siam, his name should rot, was wiped off the earth by soldiers for the State of Israel in Gaza. This man championed a philosophy of brute force, bloodshed and uncompromising resistance at any cost. Callous disrespect for human life was evident by his planned attacks, and his cowardly hiding behind, unarmed civilians.

Because the world is interconnected, and all under the guidance and direction of the One G-d, in this writer’s opinion, a military victory that advances the cause of safety, accountability, justice and stability for civilization can have massive ripple effects in strengthening the Divine human spirit in every person, throughout the world. These miracles increase the sum total of salvations in the world, and we hope it may bring us a little closer to behold the ultimate in salvations, when the whole earth is united in cooperation and mutual self-interest guided by a recognition of the power and mercy of Almighty Creator and an acceptance of His wisdom in the authority of His laws.

Sadly enough, the inspiration of miracles dissipates quickly. Every person who was moved by this stirring event should turn this inspiration into action. Now is the time to take out a book, do an internet search, or talk to a reliable authority about deeping our own relationship with the Almighty Creator. The Almighty G-d has entrusted the laws that bind all mankind, called the Seven Laws of Noah, for safekeeping to the faithful Jewish people (also known as “Orthodox” Jews. These laws for all the nations are a separate set of laws from the 613 that bind the Jewish people themselves.

Throughout their history, the Jewish people have focused mainly on learning and elucidating the laws appliable to them alone. But every human being has a share in joining in a robust investigation and dialogue about the ways in which the Almighty Creator expects all people to conduct ourselves, in the laws that form the universal standard for all mankind. Why let this miracle fly by, when we can use the opportunity to reach back up to G-d and invite Him to come into our own lives as well?

A Palm Beach Thanksgiving: Fear and Self-Loathing in South Florida

By Adam Hilliard

My family is very un-frum. I am, while very un-frum by the standards of most of the readers of these boards, what my family calls a religious maniac because I keep a kosher kitchen, daven, and manage to light Shabbat candles on occasion.

My brother Aaron and his gentile wife live in Florida and have just had their second daughter in 12 ½ months. Our mother wished to fly down to visit and asked me to accompany her. Hmmm, a weekend in late November spent in Cleveland versus one spent in Palm Beach… OK, I guess I’ll go, Mom.

Friday morning we went to a restaurant for breakfast and I got a good lesson in why the Midwest believes South Florida is peopled entirely with retired transplanted New York Jews: Because it is.

Waiting for a table in a crowded foyer, I found myself surrounded by impatient, heavily jeweled, gaudily attired older whiners, all complaining about the wait or the service or the bill…

“We had to wait over ten minutes for the check. I mean, we’re in here every week.”

“The toast was cold. We should have something taken off the bill.”

One old man was attired in hip-hop style saggy blue jeans and a matching shirt. He and his mummified wife appeared to be breakfasting with their daughter and her husband. “What kind of muffin do you want, Steve?” Pop asked his goyish son-in-law.

“He doesn’t eat muffins,” snapped Steve’s wife with a biting tone that made me feel sorry for his miserable home life. Poor Steve probably hasn’t gotten to answer such a question himself in years.

One heavily gilded older lady with a stiff helmet of blue hair referred my shiksa-in-law to shop at a discount store for baby clothes, where, “they’re in the back, only twelve ninety-nine.” (Like the princess would be caught dead in T. J. Maxx.)

As I took it all in I was feeling superior and then guilty for feeling superior. These were my people, even if they were very over-adorned, tackily dressed, embarrassingly demanding, sending the bacon back because it wasn’t crispy enough (no lie). And after all, I was eating here in a very non-kosher breakfast joint, and I had no intention of observing Shabbat that evening.

Driving to dinner that Friday evening, yes, driving, after dark, we passed a group of black-hatted men leaving services at Etz Chaim; passed them while they waited for the traffic light to change of its own accord so they could cross the wide, busy street and walk home for a Shabbos repast.

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Mom tried to be cute and asked if I had some secret hi-sign I was supposed to flash them. I explained that if there was such a thing, they wouldn’t approve of me speeding past in an automobile. A little less superiority then. And a little more guilt.

And then the story out of Mumbai.

The Chabad House, the only Jewish center in a city of 12 million people, was targeted by Islamofascist murderers, and the news media were befuddled at the ‘coincidence’. These monsters were described as “nationalists who were sending a message that they didn’t want foreigners in their country.” Then they were called “militants”, then “teenage gunmen”. Thus this absurd opening line in an Australian report: “An Adelaide woman in India for her wedding is lucky to be alive after teenage gunmen ran amok…” As Mark Steyn mocked, “Kids today, eh? Always running amok in an aimless fashion.”

The New York Times complied with the cover-up: “It is not known if the Jewish center was strategically chosen, or if it was an accidental hostage scene.” Yes, I said The New York Times.

And then the pictures of the Holtzbergs and news of their murdered unborn baby and of their orphaned son. A lot less superiority then, did I feel, and a lot of shame.

And still the news tells us how little is known about these mysterious terrorists and their incomprehensible reasons for killing innocents.

There’s a lot we don’t know about ourselves too, and events like these can help us to learn more, sometimes more than we care to, about ourselves.

As I reflected on my Thanksgiving weekend, a theme of contrasts, of extremes kept recurring to me, and I reminded myself of what I like to answer to people who ask me why do I bother to observe some mitzvot, or why don’t I yet observe more. And I say that I’ve learned that Judaism is on a scale, a range with two ends. Wherever you find yourself on the scale of Jewish observance, you’re bound to find people on both sides of you telling you you’re doing it wrong.

Every once in a while I take notice of where I stand on that scale, and I notice that I have progressed slightly towards a more observant life. To keep moving in the right direction is all we can ask of anybody.

How Would You Succinctly Describe Torah Judaism?

We live in a world of short attention spans. To that end I am trying to write a description of Torah Based Judaism in 300-500 words. The goal of the short essay is to interest the reader into exploring more about Judaism.

What would be your lead sentence of such an essay?

What points would you cover?

If your interested in writing such an essay, please email it to us at Beyond BT and we will consider it for posting.

Seizing the Moment in Time of Crisis

Rabbi Yakov Haber

I would like to share two “war stories”.

The first concerns a Yeshiva catering to Anglo students studying for their “year in Israel”. There’s an organization called “Grandma’s Packages” (www.apackagefromhome.org) which sends care packages to Chayalim in Tzahal. Apparently they ran out of funding and couldn’t send any more. The Yeshiva found out about this and asked how much it would cost to send a thousand packages to which the organization replied, “$16,000”. The menaheil of the Yeshiva addressed the students pleading with them to call their parents and raise the necessary funding. Within days, they had the $16,000. Two non-observant soldiers came to the Yeshiva to express gratitude on behalf of the recipients of the students’ families’ generosity. They put on Kippot for Mincha, davened with the boys and then addressed them after Mincha. They said, “what we have seen so far in Azza are ‘nissim v’nifla’ot’! By mistake, the army supply center where the soldiers were equipping themselves was next to an open room where they were preparing hundreds of body bags. Information received was that the Israeli army was anticipating 150 casuaties a day. Although each life lost is an olam malei, the relatively few casualties so far can be described as nothing short of obvious Divine protection. You here in the Yeshiva are our partners in battle. Your Tehillim , your Torah protects us!” The Yeshiva boys then sang and danced with the soldiers who were moved to tears.

The second story concerns an American Oleh of some time ago who is a regular Rav Tz’va’i, an Israeli army Rabbi. As the soldiers got the call for the ground incursion on last Shabbos, the Rav, together with his colleagues debated the halachic permissibility of their riding with them to the embarkation point to provide moral support. They compared this case to a husband traveling with his wife in labor to the hospital which is permitted according to many for similar reasons. They went and took a Seifer Torah with them for Mincha (presumably also for morale boosting purposes). When they arrived, the Rav, after exiting the bus, requested of a soldier to pass him the Seifer Torah from the bus to minimize the prohibition of carrying. After waiting a while with the Torah not coming, the Rav re-entered the bus to find each soldier hugging and kissing the Seifer Torah not wishing to part with it. Finally when they left the bus, one Rav was wrapped in a Tallis, the other held the Seifer Torah, looking like Kohanei M’shuchei Milchama perhaps. The soldiers one by one approached the Rabbanim asking for b’rachot. (Mostly the secular , not the Yeshiva boys!) Due to time constraints and the great demand, the Rabbanim spread the Tallis over a group of soldiers’ heads as on Simchat Torah and blessed them all together. Some soldiers told the Rabbanim that their presence strenghtened them more than all of the professional talks they received from their commanders earlier! As the soldiers entered into Gaza, the Rabbanim, with Torah in hand, called out after them, “Hashem Imachem!” (Hashem is with you) “Y’varech’cha Hashem!” (Bless Hashem) and passages from the Rambam’s directives in the Mishna Torah to Jewish soldiers. The soldiers, in turn, turned back to kiss the Torah as they passed it. Although a higher Rav in the army structure later rebuked them for their actions claiming that the soldiers were “strong enough” without the Rabbis’ accompanying them, they felt thoroughly justified retroactively in their actions.

I leave the formal halachic issues to the Poskim . But these stories indicate an enormous awakening of reliance on Hakodesh Baroch Hu (Hashem – HKB”H). Much has been written of the utter sense of helplessness caused by the disastrous havoc wreaked by the descendants of Yishmael. This in turn should cause a greater sense of reliance on HKB”H by Klal Yisrael. We B’Ezras Hashem (with the help of Hashem) beginning to see this in all segments of Israeli society. Of course, those who are Shomrei Torah U’Mitzvot all the more so must increase their sense of reliance on Hashem.

These two stories I believe also teach us of the ability to “seize the moment”. Times of distress for Klal Yisrael can also serve as occasions for enormous uplifting: in increased Tefilla, in increased Torah study, in increased Chesed and Tzedaka to worthy causes in Eretz Yisrael or in the US.

Holy Sneakers

Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The tribe of Dan was a challenged one. Both physically and spiritually they did not have an easy ride. Yet somehow they managed to make it to the top.

Dan, son of Yakov, the founder of the tribe, must have set a good example. Dan had only one child named Chushim. Chushim was deaf. If we compared Dan to the other tribes who started with larger and more capable families we would hardly expect to hear of the tribe of Dan. Yet, when the tribes are counted just a few generations later Dan is most numerous among them, second only to the tribe of Yehudah. Apparently Dan gave his one handicapped son his best. The legacy he imparted to his tribe was to acknowledge challenge and then to persevere.

Not only in a physical way, but spiritually as well, the tribe of Dan was challenged. They did not find greatness easy to attain. During the time in Egypt there was only one incident in which a Jewish woman flirted with and was then assaulted by an Egyptian taskmaster. That breach occurred with a woman from the tribe of Dan. And when the Jews entered the sea at the time of the Exodus there was just one big complaint against the salvation. The angels argued that perhaps the Jews didn’t deserve to be saved because they had taken out an idol from Egypt. That idol was in the possession of people from the tribe of Dan.

Indeed the tribe of Dan found its place in the Jewish people, not as royalty, like the tribe of Yehudah, but rather as a growth oriented tribe, readily sympathetic and encouraging to those who found themselves challenged. They were dubbed “the gatherers of the camps” because it was the tribe of Dan that looked out for those who did not fit into their designated tribe. The tribe of Dan would take them in, and nurture them, until they were ready to return to their proper place.

No wonder that when G-d instructs the Jewish people to build the Sanctuary, the Directive is to take a representative from the tribe of Judah, and a representative from the tribe of Dan. The Sanctuary was to represent unity in the Jewish people. It required that Bitzalel from Yehudah and Oholiav from Dan should work together. As our sages explain, “Who is greater than Yehudah?! Who is more downtrodden than Dan?! Let a representative of each join together to build a Sanctuary for G-d.”

The legacy of the tribe of Dan is so powerful that it totally changed the blessing and outlook with which their tribe was viewed. When Yakov blesses Dan in this week’s parsha he talks of, “A serpent on the path.” His bite is deadly and effective. But to be described as a serpent is not a description of honor or royalty.

Yet when Moshe gives his blessing at the conclusion of the sojourn in the desert, Moshe declares, “Dan is like a lion cub.” The tribe of Dan- through courage, dedication, and perseverance- had proven itself. It was regarded as second only to Yehudah, the tribe referred to as “the lion” and associated with royalty.

In our time the legacy of the tribe of Dan is a dominant one. So often we encounter people who are significantly challenged. Yet, despite the starting point in life that they were assigned, they persevere and achieve greatness. It is important to realize where people are coming from and to recognize and celebrate moments of perseverance and greatness together.

For example: I recently walked into shul for morning services and noticed “Michael” taking his teffilin out of a cheap, plastic, shopping bag. I looked again, discreetly, but thoughtfully. “What happened to Michael’s beautiful teffilin bag from yesterday?” I wondered. But then I remembered. In the past Michael had been borrowing the shul’s loaner pair of teffilin, which did have a beautiful velvet bag. If he was not using the shul’s teffilin this morning, I reasoned, it must mean that he had bought his own teffilin. Probably he did not have a chance to buy a bag yet.

I went over to Michael and, pointing to the teffilin, I asked, “Do you get a Mazal Tov?” His smile literally lit up the room. He said, “Yes. We ordered the teffilin from the sofer you recommended, and they came yesterday.” And then he added, “I didn’t even have a chance to buy a proper bag yet!” His pride in his new mitzvah was tangible. I was so glad that I recognized the milestone; and all because of the shopping bag.

There is great value in noticing the legacy of the tribe of Dan in our daily lives. Not everyone finds greatness and spiritual excellence with ease. Some have enormous challenges which they must slowly strive to overcome. When we develop the skill of noticing a milestone, we have the privilege of acknowledging and celebrating together.

I recall one particular Shabbos morning when I was introduced to “Steve”. Steve was a good conversationalist and a stylish dresser. The only thing I couldn’t figure out was the sneakers he was wearing. It seemed to me an awkward match- to be wearing high tech sneakers with a stylish suit.

Until I found out that Steve lived on the other side of Kings Highway.

Suddenly I realized that the sneakers represented his newfound commitment to walk to shul on Shabbos. The commitment to walk a few miles from the other side of Kings Highway must have been daunting. Allowing himself to wear sneakers must have made the decision to walk just a little more bearable. My heart warmed with joy when I realized the monumental milestone that those sneakers represented.

Each of us is constantly involved in building a Sanctuary, sometimes in the literal sense, sometimes in the figurative sense through the mitzvos that we do. Our job is to bring together the people of Yehudah’s legacy of royalty, with the people of Dan’s legacy of persistence, so that we can truly sanctify G-d’s Name together.

Young Israel of Cherry Hill
Torah Links of South Jersey
www.teach613.org

After thoughts on Chanukah….Keeping The Tree of Light Burning Bright

By Marsha Smagley

A ba’alas teshuva of only the last ten years, I have difficulty letting go of the holidays, especially Chanukah.

It is the last night of Chanukah and as I watch the glowing lights of our three menorahs, two with flames from oil and one from wax, I feel sadness at its end. I want to hold onto this night, I want to hold on to this magnificent light.

The wax candles in our menorah are slowly melting down, its flames fading into the night. The oil candles will burn longer; their light is exquisite, I want to hold onto this light. How can I still keep Hashem’s light burning bright, with the lights of Chanukah fading away? Tears fill my eyes, the very tears of the soul, imploring the gate of tears in Heaven to return the eternal light of the Shechinah.

When we gaze upon the lights of the menorah, we are basking in Hashem’s Tree of Light (Rav S.R. Hirsch describes the menorah as a “Tree of Light” in his chumash on Parshas Teruma in Shemos), the gift He gave to His beloved children of Israel, to get through the darkness of winter, and the bitter darkness of gulus. G-d’s light is hidden in the thirty six Chanukah candles. We light a total of thirty six lights during Chanukah, the same number of times the word ohr, light, is found in Torah and the same number of times neir, candle, appears in Torah. When I light the lights of Chanukah, I take comfort in being enveloped in His Divine light.

The soul is compared to a candle; trying to break free of its body of wax, yearning to touch the Heavens. As the candles’ flames seem to shuckle to and fro, I am reminded of the dance of the soul, as it strives to lead the body through life, trying to shine Hashem’s light onto this world.

A little light dispels a lot of darkness. The light of the candle slowly flickers within the recess of my mind, with the realization that we have a pintelle yid, a spark of the Divine forever burning brightly within our soul. As the light in the tent of Sarah Emeinu never went out during her life time, our pintelle yid too forever burns brightly. I take comfort in knowing that G-d’s candle is always burning within me.

“Ki neir mitzvo ve’Torah ohr,” For a commandment is a candle and the Torah is light.” (Mishlei 6:23). Each time we perform a mitzvah, we attach ourselves, like a candle’s flame to its body of wax, to His Divine will, and become an emissary of His light of Torah.

The numerical value of neir is 250, which corresponds to the 248 positive commandments and the 248 limbs of the body. The additional two needed to equal the 250 of neir, is ahavas Hashem and yiras Hashem, love of Hashem and awe of Hashem. When a Jew performs mitzvahs with the koach/strength of their entire life force, igniting the flame of the candle with ahavas Hashem and yiras Hashem, it awakens the pintelle yid within. (Sfas Emes L’Chanukah, suf reish lamed-aleph).

I take solace in knowing that when we light the lights of the menorah, the tree of light, we are reminded not only of the miracle of Chanukah, but our very calling as Jews The Jew is a wick that allows an infinite light to be manifest and that is a miracle, and through the mitzvahs, we illuminate the world with Hashem’s light of Torah, and sanctify it with His glory.

As the flames of the last candles of our menorah reach upwards, I am reminded that I too can strive to perform the mitzvahs with my entire being, and ignite the flames of the pintelle yid within, with yiras Hashem and ahavas Hashem, and keep His Tree of Light forever burning bright.

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May we merit to touch the Heavens on earth, and ignite the everlasting light of redemption, speedily and with rachamim, mercy.

Marsha Smagley resides in Highland Park, Illinois, with her husband and two children. She has devoted the last ten years to studying Torah, becoming observant, guiding her family in Torah life, and recently, writing articles appearing in The Jewish Observer, Kashrus Magazine, Hamodia, Horizons, Binah Magazine, and Yated Ne’eman, which convey her heartfelt journey to Torah.

This article can not be distributed or published without the prior permission of its author.

How to Handle These Potential Shul Embarrassment Scenarios?

All three of these situations occurred this past Shabbos and Sunday.

1) The loud Shomoneh Esrai davener.
A father of a guest davened a really loud silent Shomoneh Esrai. My friend moved his seat during every Shomoneh Esrai after Shacharis. I tried to wait him out by davening very slowly. I remember asking a Rav about this in the past and he suggested not saying anything as it would make the person very self-conscious when they davened.
Anybody have any suggestions on how to handle this?

2) The potential Art Scroll Offense.
There was an Auf Ruf on Shabbos and I gave the non-observant grandfather an Art Scroll Chumash for the leining. A friend mention that he seemed to be unable to find the place in his all Hebrew Siddur for Hallel so I went to get an English Art Scroll. Just as I was about to go over to hand it to him, he seemed to be davening with no problem out of the all-Hebrew Siddur so I refrained from giving it to him to avoid potential embarrassment.
How have other people handled this situation? Should one risk embarrassing the potential recipient?

3) During one of the Kaddishes on Sunday Rosh Chodesh Chanukah the Baal Tefillah was about to say the wrong Kaddish before Mussaf. Many people loudly stopped him in his tracks. This is a time-is-of-the-essence mistake.
Is there a less embarrassing way to correct the Baal Tefillah?

What, Judaism Can Actually be Fun?

Written by: Gemma

I got speaking to a mother who had reluctantly just sent her daughter to seminary. She wasn’t religious herself but was angry that her daughter had become religious and couldn’t understand what she saw in Judaism.

I got to the root of the problem – she then told me that Judaism was forced down her throat, “Do this! Why? Because that’s how it must be done!” She said she rebelled the opposite way, she wasn’t going to listen to that. She couldn’t understand why anyone would want to be religious, “it’s like being in prison, you can’t do anything you want, your whole life is controlled – “you can’t do this, this and this!”

Judaism was very prescriptive in her generation, she was turned off. She rebelled. Now her daughter is doing the opposite, thereby creating guilt on the mother’s behalf. Had the daughter come up with any other dietary requirement I’m sure she’d only be too pleased. The reason why there exist so many unobservant Jewish families is because the only way the older generations were taught was through force, prescriptive and seemingly meaningless laws. There was no Jewish thought, philosophy, mussar (ethics) and other works which we are fascinated by today, no nice “vorts.” And because of this, their kids have the same perception of Judaism, i.e. a burden.

I think, therefore, that perhaps the challenge of our generation is to remodel Judaism into its true essence. Judaism isn’t a load of laws and don’t-do’s; that’s missing the whole point. You can’t keep Shabbat simply by not driving, not turning on lights, not cooking, etc without doing the positive mitzvot on the day like making Kiddush, special davening, family time, self-reflection, special food and delicacies, learning with our children and wearing our best clothes. Judaism and happiness go together; if you don’t have the latter you’re not doing the former properly. “Ivdu et Hashem b’simcha” – serve Hashem with joy, King David tells us.

One of the best ways to experience true Judaism is by seeing it in action. Most unobservant Jews will regard Shabbat as restricting and boring, yet how many of them have actually seen a religious family on Shabbat? They’ve not seen the atmosphere around a real Shabbos table, they’ve not watched the wife being praised, the children being blessed, the beautiful songs, fine food and spirituality. And maybe that’s where we as observant Jews have to take responsibility. We have to not only retain our tremendous hospitability but we have to perform our mitzvot with joy and enthusiasm. If we look like we’re watching paint dry in shul on Shabbos morning or if we talk to Hashem the way we talk to the tax man then that’s exactly how mitzvot will be perceived; not only by other Jews but by our children. It’s all very well to say that Judaism is great, but we have to show it’s great. Not through being fake and acting like it is, but by truly believing it is.

Originally posted here.

How Can We Eliminate The Pain of Being Judged?

One of the reasons non Observant people give for not finding out more about Judaism is that they feel judged.

How are we to understand the pain of being judged when we enter into a relationship with a non Observant Jew?

Is it because at some level we may feel superior because we are observing G-d’s will to a greater degree, and therefore make the other person feel inferior?

Is it because the mere fact that we are observant, makes the person judge themselves as to their own non-observance?

Is it because the teacher-student relationship is inevitably one sided and in regards to Judaism we automatically assume the teacher role, making the unsolicited student feel uncomfortable?

Is it because we believe that G-d judges observant people better through his granting of a better world-to-come for the observant and therefore we feel justified in following what we understand to be G-d’s judgment?

What do you think?
Why do non-frum people feel judged and more importantly, what positive steps can we make to reduce the pain of being judged?

Rabbi Ozer Bergman – Alarmists

For better or worse, I am not an alarmist. So when I got an e-mail or two that tzaddikim of various stripes were warning “The End is Near for American Jews! Get Out While You Can!” I was a little underwhelmed. After all, I’ve gotten e-mails in the past that “Mashiach is DEFINITELY coming by this coming Rosh HaShanah” and, sadly, he didn’t. In other words, the track record of alarmists is not an argument to heed any of their warnings.

Mind you, I don’t mean to say that their messages should be ignored or summarily dismissed. Rather that current events are fairly inscrutable and people should not hurriedly make life decisions based on what’s reported in the e-mail de jour that so-and-so said such-and-such. Did he? Exactly what did he say? In what context? Was he addressing his own congregation/community/adherents or all of Klal Yisrael?

Nonetheless, even Ozer Laidback realizes that what we’re witnessing requires a response. The world is certainly undergoing some serious changes, even if those changes aren’t leading immediately and directly to Armageddon (you’ll pardon the expression). Some of us are old enough to remember the fall of the Berlin Wall and the collapse of Communism. Maybe now it’s time for capitalism and democracy to fall. After all, despite any personal affinity we may have for them, neither is kadosh or Torah m’Sinai.

That said, please allow me a digression. I want to publicly express my dismay and distress about the reaction of too many people. The reaction and my subsequent distress go back to 9/11. Too many (even one is too many) in our community feel that gloating is an appropriate reaction to America’s trials and tribulations, to its suffering and setbacks. This is an un-Torah and even anti-Torah attitude and view.

Our holy Torah teaches us that converts from certain nations, though they become Jewish, may never marry into what is called Kahal Hashem. Some may marry in after a defined waiting period (Devarim 23:4-9). Egyptian converts may marry after three generations because we we were guests in their land. Even though they enslaved, humiliated and beat us for close to a century; even though they drowned millions of Jewish babies, because they gave us a place to stay when we were in need we are not to totally shun them (see Rashi, v.8).

In Sefer HaMidot (aka The Aleph-Bet Book) Rebbe Nachman teaches that it is forbidden to be an ingrate, to a Jew or to a non-Jew (Tefilah A:62). This seems to be based on “David asked, ‘Is there still anyone left of the House of Shaul with whom I can do kindness for the sake of Yonatan?'” (2 Samuel 9:1); and on “David said, ‘I will do kindness with Chanun son of Nachash, as his father did for me…'” (ibid. 10:2). The Rebbe also teaches that one is obligated to pray on behalf of his host city (Tefilah A:56).This is apparently based on Yirmiyahu HaNavi words, “Seek the peace of the city to which I have exiled you. Pray to God on its behalf because its peace will be your peace” (Jeremiah 29:7).

Whatever the shortcomings and failures of the United States of America in regards to its Jews and the Jewish people, it has been a very, very good home to millions and millions of us. Instead of gloating, we ought to be praying strongly for its protection and prosperity. Amen.

Returning to our initial topic: Mashiach has to come; why not sooner than later? God is shaking things up, and that is certainly part of the unfolding process that will result in Mashiach’s arrival—speedily, in our lifetimes. Amen! But in the meantime it is both disconcerting and scary. What can we do get our bearings and overcome our fears of the what the future holds?

Rebbe Nachman recommends holding on to a genuine tzaddik. The Torah teaches that in the Messianic era Hashem will grasp the ends of the earth and shake off the wicked (Job 38:13). But the genuine tzaddik—and those holding onto him—will not be cast off. He/they will survive. Let’s work on strengthening our faith in Hashem’s unending, loving providence (aka hashgacha pratis), that on the heels of this cloudy whirlwind ride, is clarity and calm. Let’s actively seek out the clear wisdom and advice of genuine tzaddikim, past and present, and do our best to live accordingly. Amen.

Originally posted on A Simple Jew.

Stumbling Blocks

By David Bogner

One of the most significant stumbling blocks standing in the path of a Jew who is toying with the idea of becoming more religiously observant is embarrassment. Or more correctly, the fear of embarrassment.

You see, when viewed from the outside (i.e. from a Ba’al T’shuvah-eye view), religious communities and their intricate customs and institutions look suspiciously like a huge minefield filled with endless opportunities to stumble and humiliate oneself.

On one of my first trips to a synagogue after my decision to explore becoming more observant, I was offered an ‘honor’ during the service… which I quickly declined. Someone sitting nearby who correctly guessed the reason I’d refused the honor, tried to put me at ease by sharing the following joke that perfectly sums up a Ba’al’ Tshuvah’s deepest fears:
Read more Stumbling Blocks

How Should We Relate to a Relatives Non-Jewish Spouse?

A friend of mine, an FFB Ben Torah, received this letter from his estranged intermarried niece as a response, to a family wedding invitation. His sister an avowed atheist who has since passed on; isolated herself from the family well over 50 years ago and raised her children as atheists.

The letter which is pretty self explanatory basically poses the classic challenge of “How are you going to accept my (non-Jewish) spouse?”; within the framework of the background of “my mother estranged herself from yiddishkeit but I grew up this way and is there any way for us to have common ground”. This is another twist on the timeless issue of how to deal with intermarried relatives, but when neither side has changed or forfeited their original lifestyle

Any ideas for a response or an approach?

– R’ Reuven

Here is the letter:

Dear,

It has been a long time since you have heard from me so I have decided to share some of my thoughts with you so you would better understand what is behind that silence. I have felt confused about how to handle a relationship with you knowing we live in different worlds though we come from the same family. There is much you do not know or understand about my world and life and the same can be said about my dim knowledge about your life. I do however appreciate your reaching out and making some efforts to see me. I was curious to meet you and anxious to learn more about my mother’s years with a family destiny has cut me off from knowing. I wanted desperately to understand my own mother better since there was so much about her past she did not talk about or share with me. But there was a serious problem with our meetings we never addressed. How come we could not meet in my home where you could meet my husband who was made to feel left out of the picture as if he did not exist? I do not wish to exclude him from any future contact I would have with my family which has caused me to distance myself from you.

Last year I received an invitation to a wedding in your family and I was very pleased at the thought of meeting the family and being invited. There was something holding me back from feeling comfortable with the invitation. There was no mention of my husband. Was he also invited, would he have been welcome?

I do not foresee the possibility of close relations between us because of the complexity of the past and the differences in our lifestyles and life choices. However, some degree of communication could be possible, even desirable, if there would be some acknowledgement of the fact that my husband is part of the family dynamic. His exclusion is unnatural and hurtful to both of us. I know my mother left this world with many things unresolved in relation to her family and her tangled past. But I also know there were many painful things she could not talk about openly that bothered her, and one of them was how to resolve or bridge the rift between the family she was born into and the family she created and raised. I have no doubts that if we could find some way of overcoming these obstacles she would have been very pleased, especially since it was something she could never find a way of accomplishing in her own lifetime.

This letter is meant as a friendly gesture, a means of conveying what is on my mind and a chance for you to think about how you wish to handle our relationship. It is important to me that any relationship we might have include both me and my husband, for that is the family I belong to. You and your wife are welcome to visit us in our home in ……. where we have been living the last few years since our retirement.

………………………….

I hope your family is well and that you are in good health.

Respectfully,

How Can I Prevent Cremation?

I have been frum for 31 yrs. My parents are in their 70’s. They informed me when my grandmother passed away that they have prepaid for their cremation and that it is irrevocable. (By the way my grandmother who died at age 100 1/2 had prepaid for a real leviah with tahara and burial, even though she was not religious.)

My husband and I and my sister and niece were the attendants at the leviah and my husband the Rabbi. (my mother who has been unwell could not attend). I have broached the subject a few times with my parents, who are not open to seeing another view point.

HELP! I need advice as to how to deal with this, wanting the end result to be a proper burial and not cremation when their time comes, after 120 yrs. Due to their young age at this time, I don’t want to be premature in bothering them about this as it could ruin our relationship. We are not really close but do have a respectful cordial relationship, I visit once a yr and send pictures of the great grand kids, which gives them nachas.

Any strategies or suggestions mush appreciated.
Miriam1@juno.com

Do You Have a Travel Agent?

By Rabbi Mordechai Rhine

The story of Yakov and Esav is a fascinating one. Yakov is a moral person who is spiritually focused. Esav’s goals are entirely on material success and enjoyment, and he uses improper and evil means to achieve his goals. Yet when it comes to the spiritual blessings, Esav desperately believes in the blessings and he cries bitterly when he loses them.

It seems like intellectually Esav understood the value of spirituality and moral behavior. But somehow he could not get his emotions and behavior to catch up to that realization.

Interestingly Esav’s head is buried with the patriarchs. When the tribes came to bury their father Yakov, Esav came to make trouble. Esav claimed that they had no right to bury their father in that location. The tribes responded that their father had purchased the burial location, and they had documents to prove it. In the heat of the argument one of the grandchildren- Chushim son of Dan- stepped forward and killed Esav by cutting off his head.

Tradition teaches that Esav’s head rolled into the burial cave and was buried together with the patriarchs in that holy place. In his head- intellectually- Esav understood spirituality and valued it. But somehow the rest of his body didn’t catch up.

A great rabbi once asked, “What is the greatest distance in the world”.

He answered, “The distance between the mind and the heart. That is, the distance between the mind and what we desire and actually do.”

There are many times that parents, mentors, and Rabbis find themselves teaching concepts that are new to their students. But more often, the task of a parent or mentor is not to be a teacher. Intellectually the student knows what they should be doing. The
challenge is in implementation. For a person to implement correct behavior requires determination. Determination can be achieved through much coaching and encouragement.

That is why I often think of Rabbis and mentors as travel agents. Quite often people already know the difference between right and wrong. On basics like honesty, friendship, shabbos, and torah study we all agree intellectually what is correct and what it is that we need to do. The challenge is travelling the distance between the head and the rest of the body. That is where a travel agent comes in.

A travel agent can tell you which airports have flights to your destination. He can guide you where to “hang out” so that you will be more likely to reach your destination.

A travel agent can encourage you to start your travel plans early so you don’t get stuck in a last minute rush. He can guide you to spend your time and money wisely so that you will achieve your goal.

But most of all a travel agent is there to guide you with your itinerary. He is there to make sure that you do indeed travel the great distance that you are destined to travel- to coach you to implement that which you already know intellectually is correct- and
to encourage you to become all that you can be.

With best wishes for a wonderful Shabbos,

Rabbi Mordechai Rhine
Young Israel of Cherry Hill
Torah Links of Cherry Hill
www.teach613.org

Review of Sondra’s Search – About Being Jewish in Rural Kansas

By Sybil Kaplan

Most writers write about what they know best, their own lives and experiences. This is the case of Ester Katz Silvers in “Sondra’s Search,” a novel for middle school and high school youth.

The prologue introduces the reader to the heroine, Sondra Apfelbaum, who is returning from Israel with her fiancé. The remainder of the book is a flashback, starting in 1965.

Sondra Apfelbaum is 11 years old and lives in a small, rural Kansas town where her father, Julius, is a salesman at the local department store owned by Uncle Simon. Sondra and her father and mother, Helga, a Holocaust survivor, live on a farm. Sondra and her cousins, Howie and Lisa, are the only Jews in the school. The town has no rabbi and no synagogue, but a lot of Sondra’s family live there.

Helga is in denial about her Holocaust background. Her parents and sister were murdered and whenever anything unpleasant about her background or Holocaust experience comes up in conversation, she goes to the bedroom.

As Howie and Sondra reach middle school and high school, we see the contrasts between how the families treat them as teens. For example, Howie is allowed to go out with non-Jewish girls, but Sondra cannot date non-Jewish boys. Then Sondra goes to visit an Aunt and Uncle in Kansas City and becomes involved with an Orthodox youth group.

As Sondra visits more often, makes friends and becomes more involved with the youth group, she also becomes more identified as a Jew through high school and her first year at a local college then on into young adulthood.

I really loved this coming of age book, not because it dealt with Kansas, but because the issues Silvers deals with for young adults are so well done. Growing up Jewish in a small town is a clear-cut and mature presentation. The narrative is clear, and the characters all add to the plot. The writing is well done and Silvers meets the challenge of explaining the issues of growing up in a small town as a Jew and having a parent who is a Holocaust survivor for young adult readers very successfully.

Author’s history

In an email interview, Silvers wrote that she felt “compelled” to write the book because of the question she heard so many times, “you mean there are Jews in Kansas?”

She grew up in Wichita, an only child, like her heroine, Sondra. Her father, like Julius, left Germany very much the way Sondra’s father did, but her mother was born in Leavenworth, Kansas to immigrant parents and was not a Holocaust survivor. Whereas Sondra and her family live on a farm, Silver’s did not, but her cousin did and she visited her every summer. She said her favorite uncle is a rancher in Oklahoma.

For Silvers, Wichita was a “wonderful place to grow up for a Reform Jew. There was little, if any, pollution, traffic jams or anti-Semitism. What there was was a beautiful downtown, lovely parks, plenty of open air, and a nice amount of culture.”

In the book, the heroine’s father works at an uncle’s department store. Silvers wrote that “my great-uncle had a big department store in Stillwater, Okla., and used whatever connections he had to get his family into America under the quota system.”

As a child, Mrs. Silver visited Kansas City since her father was a haberdasher and he would go to the men’s market. They would meet relatives from McPherson, Kan., in the lobby of the Muelbach Hotel and she and her cousins would ride the elevator.

When she was older, her parents took her to Starlight Theatre in the summer and downtown theater in the winter.

At Silvers’ Bat Mitzvah, she read from the Sefer Torah her uncle had rescued following Kristallnacht. Growing up, she attended youth activities in Wichita and was in NCSY, the organization Sondra is exposed to the most when she comes to Kansas City.

“As a teenager, I would come to [Kansas City] for BBYO conventions. We thought we were going to the BIG city!” she said.

Like Sondra, “inter-dating was a big issue. Although there were fifteen other Jewish kids my age in town, there was always the feeling of being different. We all dealt with it in different ways. Some married out, others followed their parents’ approach to Judaism and three of us became Orthodox.”

At Arizona State University, she mether husband. They became observant, then married and lived in Phoenix. In 1986, they moved to Israel with five children, aged two months to nine years. They settled in a Judea/Samaria community called Shilo “because it fit our needs — a rural type community with a yeshiva, grammar school, plenty of children our children’s ages, a grocery store, doctor, nurse, and clinic, as well as very nice people.” The Silvers have had two more children since then, and their seven children now range in age from 14 to 31.

Shilo is more than 20 miles north of Jerusalem and held a central place in the history of Israel as the religious center and assembly place for the tribe of Israel and where the tabernacle sat. In 1978, a Jewish community settled there, and today, there are about 300 families of all ages.

Silvers spends her time as a homemaker and, when not writing, with learning, sewing and community service.

The Silvers family lived in Shilo during the Intifada and she characterizes those years as “hard, but that was all for Israelis.” She has written some articles on that subject: “Shilo: A Mother’s Diary” and “Community Anguish.”

Silvers is currently working on the sequel focusing to “Sondra’s Search” focusing on the heroine, Sondra, and her cousin, Lisa, whom she tries to involve in becoming more Jewishly-identified in the book.

Originally published on the Kansas City Jewish Chronicle

How Do You Tell People They’re Doing Certain Mitzvos Improperly?

My children are good friends with children in the S family. Although the S family shared with us that they are relatively recent BT’s, their background is not widely known. Recently my 13 yo daughter mentioned to me that the S’s do not sift their flour. I suggested to her that she tell her friend that it is important for Kashrut. She agreed to tell her friend, but didn’t think the information would get to the mother this way. Some time after when my 11 yo son’s friend was visiting, I happened to find a bug while sifting flour. I showed them the bug, hoping he might tell his mother. But knowing 11 yo boys, I didn’t really count on it. A few days later while sifting flour I found a lot of worms! I rarely find anything when I sift, but there might have been remnants from that first buggy batch that grew in the interim. I was disgusted and a bit traumatized by this, and made sure to tell my daughter and her friend when they walked in shortly afterwards. I hope that now the information will make it back to the S parents, although I am still doubtful.

But the incident has left me pondering how to handle telling fellow BT’s if they are missing important Mitzvot. I’m sure that Mrs. S would sift her flour if she knew that it was a Kashrut issue. But should I even approach her about it? And if so, how? I can’t think of a way to bring this up in casual conversation, especially because we are not really friends. Things like this don’t just come up in conversation. How have other people handled such situations? How would you want to be approached if you were on the other side of it?

– Chana