Mmm.., milkshakes, cheeseburgers..ham sandwiches…BLTs.. Cigarettes. Remember those days? Remember when smoking was cool and everybody- I mean everybody did it? Then suddenly the news broke that it caused cancer, lung disease and you tried to stop but just couldn’t? Doctors told you that you would die if you didn’t stop smoking, but in the back of your mind, all you could think was that George Burns was still alive.. Remember the cold sweats, the weight gain, and the frayed nerves of that month last year when you tried to stop smoking? Remember that silly patch that you put on your arm? Nothing worked. Finally, one day you snapped. Another close friend or relative died. Finally, you quit. Now, you can run that extra mile, colds come less frequently, you did not get fat. You were still cool. Best of all the whole country supports your quitting.
Read more Going Cold Turkey (Glatt of course)
Voice, Vote and Listening
Please give us your input on How You Would Spend the Money for longer term Baalei Teshuva support efforts. Your voice can make a real difference.
If you don’t have much time, please vote for us in Best Group Blog and Best New Blog. We are also nominated for Best Jewish Religion Blog and Best Designed Blog. You can vote every three days.
Since Chava posted about Cultivating a Love of Eretz Yisrael, here is a great shiur by Rabbi Herschel Welcher covering the four major opinions on The Mitzvah to Live in Eretz Yisrael (left-click to play right click and Save Target as to load it to your PC)
For more listening pleasure, Classic Sinai has 24 great Torah mp3s that you can download or listen to on your PC including Rabbi Noach Weinberg on “Happiness” and “Pleasure: The Ultimate Energizer” Rebbetzin Heller on “Our Bodies Our Souls” and other greats by Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser, Rabbi Lawrence Keleman and many others.
How Would You Spend The Money?
Some people are ‘starters’. They love to create and develop new products and ideas. Others are ‘finishers’. They are systems people. They may not be that creative, but they can take ideas and turn them into reality.
A ‘starter’ will invent and patent a why-didn’t-I-think-of-that idea (a Shabbos lamp, for example). But without a ‘finisher’, that creative idea may never take off. The ‘starter’ will lose interest when the bulbs get hot too quickly or if production gets bogged down. And, in all likelihood, he or she will be spending many of his or her waking hours thinking about the next invention.
I think that just about sums up the dilemma that many ba’alei teshuvah face. The vast majority of outreach efforts are focused on starting and very few resources are focused on the finish. And if Shabbos lamps have a hard time making it without finishers, imagine how parents with teenagers and tuition bills are coping.
Read more How Would You Spend The Money?
Why G-d Created Google and the Web
It seems clear that G-d created Google and the Web to connect people and to spread Torah.
We were very fortunate this week to make some new friends at the Passaic Melave Malke, including Akiva who blogs at Mystical Paths. Akiva took photos and video’d (with his Canon camera) the first half hour of Rabbi Lazer Brody’s shiur and it’s a real treat to watch Rabbi Brody in action. Thanks to Akiva for joining the Beyond Teshuva team, the Passaic Torah Institute (PTI) for hosting the event and to Google the rest of the Web infrastructure for helping us to connect and spread Torah.
Video: Rabbi Brody, first 20 minutes.
Video: Rabbi Brody, next 12 minutes.
Photos: Rabbi Brody in Passaic, Photo Set here, Slide Show here.
Audio: Rabbi Brody, full 2 hours, MP3 format,
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
Rabbi Brody Speaking in New Jersey (click the play button to watch)
Cultivating a Love of Eretz Yisroel
From the moment I first came here to work on kibbutz, looking to experience the cleanest expression of communism in the Free World (…remember this was the 60’s!), and experienced the Land of Israel – the hills, the people, the smells, the songs, the connections – I knew that I was in love. It took me many years to go from disgruntled and passionate anti-Vietnam War protester to contented but still passionate resident of Ramat Beit Shemesh, and I have logged many miles in my “wandering Jew†journey. But my love for Eretz Israel has never left my heart, and my desire to take my place among our people in Hashem’s precious land never wavered.
Read more Cultivating a Love of Eretz Yisroel
Kew Gardens Hills Melave Malka – With Rabbi Label Lam
Rabbi Yitzchak Kirzner zt”l told a story about a man who said that he is ahead of 90% of the world in his Yiddishkeit and when the rest of the world catches up, then he’ll work on growing more. But most committed Jews do not hold by that logic, we want to be a better Jew today than we were yesterday.
Continuing growth is not simple. We have to work on reducing the negative while at the same time always looking to build our positive thoughts, speech and actions. And in every age, it makes sense to use the tools at our disposal, like Beyond Teshuva, to help us grow.
Another great tool is an inspirational Melave Malka. A group of growth oriented Jews getting together to share an evening of food, friends and words of Torah. That’s why we’re extremely excited to be having our first:
Kew Gardens Hills Melave Malka
on Motza’ei Shabbos, Parshas Bo, February 4th at 9:00 PM
at Congregation Ahavas Yisroel – 147-02 73rd Ave.
Admission is $10 per person and we’ll be serving Milchik (ziti, lasagna, eggplant, etc…) so don’t nosh on any cold cuts for Shalosh Seudos.
Rabbi Label Lam is our special guest speaker and the topic is “Increasing Altitude: Continuing on the Growth Pathâ€.
It should be a fantastic evening and, of course, it’s open to Jews of all stripes.
So please reserve the date and RSVP preferably at beyondbt@gmail.com or at (917) 992-xxxx or right here in the comments, so that we can prepare properly.
Looking forward to seeing you there.
Using BT Passion for Outreach
I had the pleasure of joining the BeyondBT crowd with Rabbi Brody this past Motzie Shabbat. One point he made was BT’s are great at outreach, because they’re always burning with passion.
In his previous post, Rabbi Horowitz notes his surprise at the amount of separation between the religious and non-religious in Israel. This is absolutely the case, with very limited interaction between the two. Except for the BT. Since BT’s come from a wide variety of backgrounds and professions and often continue to work in their field, they’re often the sole bridge between worlds in Israel.
Read more Using BT Passion for Outreach
Is it a Mitzvah to Vote?
Thanks to your efforts, we have made it to the finals in four categories in the Jewish/Israelly Blog Awards. So if you can take 15 seconds to vote (the rules allow voting every 3 days), we can get out the word and broaden our community.
Best Jewish Religion Blog
Best New Blog
Best Designed Blog
Best Group Blog
On a different note, one of our readers is interested in doing some research regarding the history of the (recent) BT movement. If anybody nows of any books on this matter, or can point to anyone in particular who knows about this issue, please let us know at beyondbt@gmail.com
Sibling Rivalry-BT Vs. FFB: How Do We Stop It?
I’ve noticed along with others that there sometimes is an anti FFB sentiment running through some comments. I’d like to dispel people’s beliefs for a moment.
First of all let’s realize that if it wasn’t for the FFB world, we wouldn’t be here today on this website (obviously Hashem is the ultimate reason we are here). After all, the first BT’s of this past generation were merkaraved by Aish, Ohr Samayach, Neve, etc. All started by FFB’s. So we owe a tremendous hakaros hatov to the FFB world. Did we ever stop and think who kept the light of Torah burning the last 2000 years? That’s right, those FFB’s.
Read more Sibling Rivalry-BT Vs. FFB: How Do We Stop It?
The Unsung Victories of the Baal Teshuva
How would you describe colors to a blind person, or a piece of music to a deaf person? Close your eyes for a moment and ponder how you would convey the images and sounds. At the very least it would be a daunting, perhaps even an impossible task.
Similarly, how difficult is it for a BT to describe the sublime pleasure of discovering Torah’s emes to their non observant loved ones? How does a BT convey their deep satisfaction at having learned how to keep a kosher kitchen, or to put on tefillin? Surely for the BT there are many mitzvoth they needed to put a great deal of effort into in order to master. And yet, how can we share these accomplishments with those closest to us, with those who knew us all of our lives?
Read more The Unsung Victories of the Baal Teshuva
Inconsistencies in the Process of Growth
While I was in the process of becoming frum I found that many of my friends and family suddenly became big Talmidei Chachomim (Torah Scholars). They started noticing and commenting on discrepancies in my religious behavior. They never said it explicitly, but the implication was that I was being hypocritical. I fielded such questions as, “Why don’t you wear your yarmulka at school like you do at home?â€, “How can you eat in the restaurant if they serve x, y, and z also?â€, “How come you walk to shul and then come home and watch TV?â€, etc.
As we know, for most of us becoming observant is a process. It’s not like upgrading a computer to a new operating system where suddenly you have all of this new information and features. (Actually, that can be a tough process too, but you get the idea.) There is a lot of information to assimilate and major behavioral changes to implement. In retrospect it can be amusing to look back on some of the inconsistencies we exhibited as our growth unfolded.
Read more Inconsistencies in the Process of Growth
Passaic Melave Malka With Rabbi Brody
About 40 people were in attendance at the Melave Malka in Passaic last night, despite the fact that it is a vacation week for the schools and there was another Melave Malka in the community. We want to thank the Passaic Torah Institute for their hospitality. We want to thank Rabbi Brody for taking the time to speak and insipire us and his cousin Rich Lenner for helping out.
Here are some photos of Rabbi Brody taken by Akiva at Mystical Paths.
Here are the mp3’s from Rabbi Brody’s drasha last night. I broke it up into 6 parts of about 19 minutes each. Rabbi Brody started the evening with a niggun which runs from 1 minute 45 seconds to 3 minutes and 20 seconds in part 1.
Here is part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6. Enjoy!
Rav Eliyahu Lopian on Equilibrium
From “After the Return” – P. 112
by Rabbi Mordechai Becher with Rabbi Moshe Newman
Rav Eliyahu Lopian is quoted as saying ‘Every person looks at himself as though he is on a tightrope; half the world is on the ground to his right and the other half on the ground to his left.” He continues, ‘Why a tightrope? Because there is only room for one.” Rav Lopian was describing a common human condition. People consider anyone ‘more religious” than themselves to be a fanatic, and anyone ‘less religious” tha themselves a heretic. Every individual believes that only he walks the tightrope of normalcy, while everyone else has fallen to one side or the other.
Read more Rav Eliyahu Lopian on Equilibrium
Reminder – Rabbi Lazer Brody speaking this Motza’ei Shabbos, 1/21 at 8:30 PM in Passaic
Just a reminder that
…Rabbi Lazer Brody will be speaking
…at the first Beyond Teshuva Melave Malka in Passaic (the pizza is already ordered)
…on this Motza’ei Shabbos, January 21st at 8:30 PM
…at the Passaic Torah Institute – 441 Passaic Avenue
…on the topic of “Facing the Challenges of Growth with Tranquility and Joyâ€
…Admission is $5
We are really looking forward to seeing you there!
The Pierced Teen and I
I hardly ever sleep on airplanes. So after an eleven-hour Thursday night flight to Eretz Yisroel, I arrived Friday noontime, jet lagged and exhausted.
I came to spend Shabbos with my daughter, who is studying in a seminary in Yerushalayim. Together we walked through the winding streets of the Jewish Quarter and enjoyed a beautiful, spiritual Kabbolas Shabbos at the Kosel. After the conclusion of the tefilos, we returned to our hotel, which was almost exclusively occupied by Shabbos observant guests, for the evening seudah (meal). I ate rather quickly and was in my hotel room getting some much-needed sleep by seven o’clock. By midnight, I awoke, already having had a full night’s sleep. I quietly left the room and made my way down to the lobby with a sefer, some reading material, and an assortment of roasted nuts that my daughter had purchased for me.
Sitting in the deserted hotel lobby, I looked up and noticed a teenage young man sauntering through the lobby. He was wearing jeans and a tee shirt, sporting a spiked, Israeli-version- of-a ‘mushroom’ haircut and several body-piercing ornaments. Not your average yeshiva bachur.
Read more The Pierced Teen and I
Bridging Backgrounds
It’s very natural to try to insulate yourself with those who are as similar to you as possible. As a BT, we often form bonds with those who have gone through the same experiences as us – those who have also changed the direction of their lives to include Torah. This is a comfortable enclave; there are similar stories to share, others can appreciate the world we came from and can empathize with the current struggles to balance between non-religious familial obligations and our new lives.
The problem is, insulating ourselves with those who have gone through the same experiences as we have leaves out a lot of people – and many who we can learn an enormous amount from. And it also splinters a world that is broken in enough pieces as it is – just in the Orthodox world, there are divisions between Hareidi and Modern, between Chasidish and Litvish. Not to mention the huge divide that occurs between “frum†and “non-frum†Jews, a gap that many often believe to be unbridgeable.
Read more Bridging Backgrounds
Learning as a Mother
I was reluctant to post on the topic of learning because the obligation is so different for women. I’m pretty sure that that’s when Mark posted the topic “Practical Ideas to Increase Learning,†he was looking for men’s advice about how to arrange daily sedarim in their busy lives. I have no advice on the matter, so men, feel free to ignore this post. I’m gearing this toward women.
The teshuva process is as much intellectual as emotional. Most of us spend a few intense years attempting to make up for a religious education that FFB’s receive in twelve. And then, just like with tefilla, kids enter the picture and learning is by necessity pushed to the back burner. Some women might miss it immediately while others are too busy with new responsibilities to think of other things. Sooner or later, though, we all begin to miss learning. And while many women I know opt for babysitters and periodic shiurim, on a day-to-day basis, I live on Torah tapes.
Read more Learning as a Mother
Maybe We’re Supposed to Have Bad Manners?
I was sitting recently with a BT who mentioned that he noticed how many frum people lack the “manners” of secular Jews. After a few moments discussion he finally said, “But maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe all this stuff about manners isn’t right.”
Although I had heard attitudes like this in Yeshiva many years ago, I was still surprised to hear him say it now. It’s been a long time since I’d heard statements like this.
Read more Maybe We’re Supposed to Have Bad Manners?
BT Vertigo
בס”ד
Vertigo is a term that jet pilots use to describe spatial disorientation. When a pilot approaches the sound barrier, strange things can occur, especially on a clear-day’s flight over water. The pilot is liable to become disoriented, and to confuse the blue of the sea with the blue of the sky, and vice versa. Some pilots become dizzy and others elated; in any event, vertigo can make a pilot think that up is down and down is up.
The laws of the material world apply to the spiritual world as well. The best of the Baalei Tshuva resemble jet pilots: Thirsty for Hashem and His Torah, they cruise at supersonic spiritual speeds. A good BT’s takeoff in Yiddishkeit – let’s say his or her initial thrust and climb in spiritual altitude – would make even a strong FFB’s head spin. But, as in jet flight, the faster a BT ascends and cruises, the more critical any tiny mistake in judgment or spiritual navigation becomes.
Read more BT Vertigo
Camp Nowhere (A True FFB Litmus Test)
Imagine this scenario:
You’re sitting with a bunch of your friends at a Shabbat dinner. Everything is going fine until across the table—
“Hey, Yosef, remember when we did that skit at Moshava for color war?â€
“Yeah, and Jacob sang the theme from ‘Gilligan’s Island’â€
“And us girls on the red team totally had more ruach, but the judges were biased and you guys wonâ€
“And then Adam raided our cabin afterwards…â€
Read more Camp Nowhere (A True FFB Litmus Test)
