Although the capturing of Osama is important, the events and the regime changes in the Middle East will have far more of an effect on Israel and the Jews.

A short time ago, Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky was asked about the significance of developments in the Middle East and he said:

“People come and say that these events are Gog and Magog. We cannot know if that is so or not, but we are certainly being shown that Mashiach is getting closer, and we must do what we can to strengthen ourselves and prepare for that day. Whoever ignores these signs is a fool.”

Have you done any introspection and teshuva work in response to these events?

Can you suggest any introspection and teshuva work others may want to try?

How was your Pesach?

Any stories to share?

Triumphs?

Challenges?

Thoughts on bringing your inspiration forward?

It’s the greatest night of the year with the potential for tremendous growth.

How do you get the most out Pesach?

a) Share lots of vorts on various parts of the seder.

b) Focus on performing the mitzvos of the night in the best possible manner.

c) Read the Hagaddah with praise and thanks for Hashem.

d) Keep everybody interested by props, questions, stories…

– For your non-observant guests, how have you been successful in maximizing the evening for them?

Do you mo

When it comes to dealing with non-Torah influences most families and communities build fences. The basic difference is how high are the fences.

There is probably a continuum of fence heights but the overall policies can perhaps be described as:

1) Let everything in and throw out that which is inappropriate
2) Let almost nothing in to keep out the inappropriate and in the process keep out much that might be appropriate
3) Let in the things that can help bring you closer to Hashem

How would you describe the fence building policies out there?

What have you found that works for you and your family?

Can you see the dangers and the benefits of the other approaches?

Do you think the main problem with high fences, is that they’re a bad idea or because fences are ineffective and can cause backlashes?

What are the major areas that fences are built in your home or community: Internet, TV, Music, Movies, Newspapers, Radio, Fiction Books, Non-Fiction Books?

What are the issues around communal fences as opposed to household fences?

Someone recently confided that they’re having trouble placing they’re Rock and Roll memories. They mentioned that a Yeshivish oriented friend recently confided that he listens and gets inspired by Simon & Garfunkel.

Many BTs in KGH, Passaic, Monsey, Five Towns and other Orthodox communities try to keep their children away from secular rock music. But how do you deal with your own Rock and Roll memories?

Do you ever sing or think about out old lyrics when keyed from a phrase in conversation?

Was the music from the 60s, 70s and 80s much more benign than that of today and is therefore not so bad?

Or perhaps it’s still rooted in the non-Torah values of the secular world they we’ve moved away from and should be avoided?

Do you approve of the Rock music of today?

How have you dealt with these musical conflicts?

Based on some recent posts and comments on BT Martyrdom, it seems that many BTs get tremendous spiritual pleasure from blowing up familial relationships.

What are the reasons for this willingness to cut oneself off from their families with these acts?

a) They feel it’s comparable to giving up your life, which when appropriate is the ultimate Kiddush Hashem.

b) Their Rebbeim tell them it’s the right course of action and they rarely enter a question and answer dialog with their Rebbeim to probe/understand the reasoning behind a ruling.

c) Many families explicitly or implicitly reject a BTs life choices causing pain, which sets the stage for the act of familial martyrdom.

d) Other reasons

Why do people wear Purim costumes in fact and in theory?

Is dressing up like a celebrity like Michael Jackson appropriate?

How about like an evil person like Saddam Hussein?

What other guidelines have you followed for appropriate Purim Costumes for children, teenagers and adults?

From a recent email from a Kiruv organization

I am of the belief that with proper guidance a Baal Teshuvah can [not must], by proceeding at a very moderate pace, achieve a very high level of integration into the frum community, ultimately becoming virtually indistinguishable from FFB’s even in ultra-Charedi settings. This level of integration requires one to largely dispose of a great deal of his former lifestyle and even many relationships. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that even for one who does wish to attain this level of integration, it is possible and almost always advisable to maintain many relationships from the past, especially familial ones. This is certainly not an easy feat and requires dedication and much finesse, but it is often worthwhile, as I will explain.

Agree? Disagree? Comment.

A good piece of advice for BTs is to try to conform to the standards of the community you live in.

Do you agree with this advice?

How have you implemented it in your life?

In what ways are you not conforming and how has it effected you?

A recent article in the new Torah oriented magazine, Ami had an article about a BT family, where the children we’re drawn off-the-derech by the wife’s parents.

Have you ever heard of similar situations?

Have you ever heard of or dealt with parents who try to influence their grandchildren to be less observant?

How would/did you handle either of the above scenarios?

David Landau, year 1993, in his Piety and Power in Chapter 28, page 247:

Since the Sephardic society is less rigidly categorized in its observance than Askenazic, the teshuvah phenomenon triggers far less social and familial tension. Most Sephardic families are traditional to some degree, and so Chazara BiTeshuvah does not entail quite so sharp a break for the penitent. The rest of the family does not look upon its newly Haredi member so ambivalently. There is less of the skepticism, cynicism and resentment that Chazara BiTeshuvah often stir among the Askenazim. Sephardic families are usually proud of their Baal Teshuvah relative.

What can we learn from the Sephardim regarding categorization?

Is part of the acceptance due to the fact that the Sefardic BT is less judgmental about the lack of observance than his Ashkenazic counterpart?

Topic submitted by Mr Cohen.
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Torah Observance is very structured in terms of our day, our week, how we dress, how we eat.

Did you find this structure confining at first?

How long did it take you to adapt to all the structure?

Do you think BTs are more often the type of people who embrace structure?

The traditional means of supporting a Rabbi is through a Shul. Members pays fees and make donations and the Rabbi either owns and operates the Shul or gets a salary.

Nowadays there a lot of BTs and FFBs who live in areas where they have not found a Rabbi or Torah Teacher to fill their needs. There are Rebbeim throughout the country who might be able to teach, answer questions and give advice to these people, but they would need a financial structure to support these activities.

Do you think people would be willing to pay a long distance Rabbi to learn, posken and give advice?

How much do you think people would be willing pay to have access to and talk to a Rabbi for 30 minutes – 1 hour per month. $360, $500, $1,000 per year?

How much do you currently pay to belong to your shul?

How much time per month do you currently talk to your Rabbi?

Dear Beyond BT

Stories about secular and unaffiliated Jews who undergo miraculous conversions after being exposed to the beauty of Yiddishkeit, the Torah lifestyle, etc… are very popular on BBT.

However, you usually avoid mention of those who experience the observant world and walk away. When you do deal with the ex-BT phenomenon, it’s often with derogatory and condescending terms.

Could you consider the possibility that the “Torah True” life isn’t for every Jew?

Is it a threatening thought that if it fails to work for those who left, it raises the possibility that it would fail to work for you?

-Bruce

It seems that many people come to Torah because they believe it’s true or because they think it will lead to a better lifestyle that will make them happier.

Which was the driving factor in your return to observance?

What was the driving factor in the majority of BTs you’ve spoke to about the subject?

Which reason leads to the most disappointment or disillusionment?

What are some of the obstacles with either reason.

Mark Zuckenberg, a fellow Jew, is Time magazines’s person of the Year.

Do we adequately acknowledge the accomplishments of our non-observant co-religionists?

Who do you think is the Outstanding Jew of 2010 and why?

Only positive achievements.

What’s Your Chanukah Inspirational Take Away?

a) Miracles are a reality

b) Wars are won through Hashem’s help

c) Hashem always saves the Jewish People

d) We need to show Mesirus Nefesh for Torah

e) We must view the secular through the prism of the spiritual

f) We need to introspect on our Hellenistic tendencies

h) We should always strive for spiritual greatness

i) Our first focus should be burning away the negative like Shammai

j) Our first focus should be increasing the positive like Hillel

k) Even in the darkest hour, the Jewish People always have the pilot light on

l) Other

With Chanukah a week away here are some questions:

Do you give your children presents?

Do you give your spouse a present?

Do you refrain or moderate your gift giving because of the proximity to Xmas?

What would you tell a new BT about giving presents?

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch recently posted an article saying that Today’s Yeshiva System Is A Recipe To Create Kids At-Risk.

In the article Rabbi Schonbuch says:

In general our yeshiva system has become too elitist and too inflexible to meet the needs of a growing percentage of Jewish children.

Let me be perfectly clear: most yeshivas today only want to accept kids who are known as APKs or Auto Pilot Kids. They expect that children will be able to sit in large classrooms (25-30 per class) listening to one Rebbe, chap the gemarah after one lecture, and rely little on the teacher for their personal, intellectual, or emotional needs.

The truth is that a large and growing percentage of our children don’t fit this mold. Many require individual attention, smaller classrooms, lessons and homework sheets suited to their needs, and a Rebbe that cares more about them than their marks. Many of our children need personalized attention, visually-based instruction (like slides or power point presentations), and Rebbes that are able to complement and bond with children who don’t necessarily fit the mold. Our yeshivas mistakenly offer an education that doesn’t reflect the dictum “Chanoch leNoar lifee Darcho” – to educate a child according to their way; rather, they maintain its “lifee Darcheinu” meaning “it’s our way or the highway.” So a significant proportion of Jewish children are rejected and find themselves out of the schools they need and onto the streets.

He also proposes a 12 point action plan.

Do you think Rabbi Schonbuch is correct in his assesment?

What percentage of high school students are in Yeshivos that don’t meet their needs?

Is this just a kids at risk issues, or is the average B student also under served?

Can our schools afford a finer tracked system?